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https://gofund.me/070b9620.
Help please 😭😭😭😭, with the necessities to help lesbian single mothers in kakuma refugee camp in Kenya.
https://gofund.me/070b9620
https://gofund.me/070b9620.
Help please 😭😭😭😭, with the necessities to help lesbian single mothers in kakuma refugee camp in Kenya.
Who transed my gender?
(young me versus adult me)
Tgirl Moans about Labels
Despite the title, I'm going to be moaning about microlabels (and briefly, pansexuality); however, you should be aware that I DO NOT think less of people that use obscure neo pronouns or labels.
Why we use labels
Labels like "gay" and "straight" indicate the scope of your attraction. Homosexual & Homo romantic create a distinction that clarifies the nature of your attraction. They help adequately and simply communicate who we are while also allowing people of our likeness to realise there's others like them— the inclusive element.
How do microlabels get in the way
If you ask me, some microlabels border on hyper specific obscurity that either communicates information that isn't necessary (from the outside looking in), or the information that is supplementary and better falls under "your type" or personality traits.
As an example, I have a friend that was looking for a label that encompasses them, as a bi person that only liked feminine expressing (not indentifying) people. Why does that need a label? That is deadass just your type. You like girly girls and femboys.
If we make hyper-specific labels for every aspect of ourselves, we will struggle to fit in anywhere because our label becomes far more individualistic than inclusive— it gets isolating in a way.
Moreover, people change. Your hyper-specific label might be invalidated by a single event that alters the way you think and feel. Then, you're stuck trying to find or craft a whole new obscure label.
When you finally figure that out, you gotta hope and pray people discover it, recognise it, understand it, and use it.
Pansexual's take on pan
I used to identity as pansexual but decided it didn't feel quite right. Not because of me, but because of the identity itself. But why?
Pan does whatever the plot requires
I liken pansexuality to a poorly explained fictional power. The scope and nature is never outlined by the story, so to the reader, the power seems to work (and fails to work) whenever it is convenient for the plot.
Pansexuality isn't a grounded label that every member of the community views the same way— to a worse extent than terms like Gay or Lesbian (more on that later).
In high school, lgbt friends described pan as being "bi with extra steps." Others have claimed pan is just bi with a minor somantic difference. Some people say that pan is just being bi but also being inclusive for trans people. From my understanding, pansexuality was an attraction not based on sex/gender. Personally, I think that idea makes pan more of a microlabel than a sexuality.
With that last concept of pan, it doesn't actually communicate a sexuality (i.e, who and how you're attracted to someone (or not in the case of asexuals)). Instead, it communicates details about the sexuality. It's like if I asked you who your friend is, and you told me that they play Pokémon. It's nice to know that detail ABOUT them, but that doesn't tell me WHO they are.
Based on the aforementioned idea of pan. You could theoretically be sexually/romantically available for members of all sexes, or a singular sex. But, just saying "I'm pan" fails to communicate which is the case.
Gay and Lesbian
When I was growing up, Gay and Lesbian fell under "homosexual." An attraction to the same-sex. Personally, I prefer the idea that it denotes attraction to the same gender. But, that's the newer take.
As a trans girl, I don't think it's fair to tell an older lesbian she's transphobic for claiming her lesbian status as a reason not to date a trans woman— why? Because, to her knowledge, that's NOT what the label means.
In that kinda situation no one is right. The use of the labels isn't actually universal and that creates in-fighting and division.
If you ask me, the entire damn system needs to reworked.. and no I did not write this entire thing with nothing in mind.
Where is your system
As I said, I do have something in mind.
THEN SHOW ME
but, I'd like to see if this post gets me slandered or something crazy first 🥲
I bought a pretty circlet today. My husband says it makes me look like an elf :)) I love it!
I also bought a Jester's cap. It is Black&White and has annoying bells and I will be wearing it to Dungeons & Dragons sessions!
Been reading a book over the last few days called 'How To Think Like A Woman' by Regan Penaluna. I've never been so inspired and also angered by someone else's writing before. I feel so inspired by Penaluna's writing and memoir, as well as the stories of the women she's recounted so far as I've read. What upsets me is how blind I've been to 2000+ years of nearly every major philosopher you've ever heard of being a massively misogynistic prick, and how that's affected civilization as a whole. No matter how much good they may have done for philosophy, politics, etc, what's been hidden from history classes are their vitriol-saturated opinions of women. Despite being hidden from modern eyes in order to keep the good moral image of these philosophers in proper condition, they still had massive impacts on the culture of their day and decades or centuries into their future. For my whole life I had this kind of blasé attitude to Philosphy like it was just a bunch of dudes theorizing about the nature of life, and while it is that (simplified), it is also very dangerous because these philosophers (VERY OFTEN MALE) would hold wide influence over many and their ideas became the basis for communities and civilization moving forward. Their grand plans for humanity and their ideals that humanity should strive for were really only meant to prop up the egos of men, and to keep women subservient.
One of the things that stuck with me and bothered me most was this notion that seemed to be a commonality between many of these "great thinkers", which was - "It is virtuous for a woman to be silent, but not for a man, a man should always speak his mind."
That one kinda killed me a bit. To shared that near carbon-copied sentiment over the course of centuries, misogynist philosopher begeting misogynist philosopher for 2 millenia and some change. It kills me a bit inside. It makes me angry.
What does it mean to become radicalized?
y’know, i’ve been wondering. is it still considered trans if i use they/it/he? like, i am absolutely more masculine than feminine, but i wouldn’t really call myself trans. i identify as blankboy, but also lean a little more towards genderblank and genderfree, hence why he/him is my third preference. i’m genuinely curious about the technicalities, so if someone has any answers… :)
TW: Screenshots of hate messages below the "keep reading"
GET YOUR ASS OFF TUMBLR CAUSE IT GIVES YOU FUCKING STUPID BELIEFS
Fun fact, you can't separate us from being trans and us being masculine. You don't get to say that 'transmisandry isn't real because misandry isn't real' because us being trans and the masculine parts of our identity are the same thing. We are hated for every facet of our collective identity, transfeminine, transmasculine, transneutral, and transxenic, and we are hated for them in different ways.
I have not started that misandry is real. I have not stated that cisgender, perisex men are oppressed for being men.
I HAVE stated that there are specific transphobic beliefs that target trans men.
I have never denied that trans women are not oppressed.
What I HAVE said is that trans woman/transfems and trans men/transmascs are often affected in different ways.
Like, how the fuck does it affect you that transmasculine people want a more specific word to describe their experiences? Are you going to tell a transfem to just call their experiences transphobia? By your words, all transphobia is transmisogyny, so what's the point of not calling it all indistinct transphobia?
THAT'S RIGHT! BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE SPECIFIC WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR OPPRESSION /GEN
You don't get to separate the trans from the man! You don't get to seperate the "transphobia" from the "misandry" BECAUSE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MEN/MASCS!!!!
TRANSMISANDRY LITERALLY JUST MEANS THE SPECFIC HATRED AND OPPRESSION OF TRANS MEN! WE ARE NOT SAYING MEN ARE OPPRESSED, WE ARE SAYING TRANS MEN ARE OPPRESSED.
“I support trans people!”
but you only properly address them if they’ve had surgery, are on HRT, present as the “stereotype” for their gender, or identify as full binary
fuck you dysphoria, you can’t make me cry if I decide to tell myself that the things that make me dysphoric actually make me euphoric
I repeatedly think about the time that a group of 6 total gym bros smiled at me and said “such a gentleman, thank you” when I held the door for them because they were all carrying plants?
guys. GUYS. you can’t do this to me😭 I cried over it. (this was wonderful to me because I still look so much like a girl and I was in shock)
“wait, so what gender are you?”
*crickets*
oh btw if you’re a terf/fart you’re not a girl’s girl, let alone a human being! also real lesbians don’t have an issue with trans girls!! you’re actually subhuman!!
looking at people’s top surgery scars like when is it my turn :(
Oh my god this happened to me at a restaurant and i kept telling the waitress that it was okay and she was like “no, it’s not!” And then I just gave up 😭
you know what made her realize I’m a “girl”?
My nail polish.
It wasn’t my voice, it wasn’t my face, it wasn’t my chest. Literally my nail polish.
And let us not forget:
Black transexual men with autism and bipolar;
Vertically challenged Mongolian lesbians;
Obese, queer grandmas with slow metabolism and cheesecake fetishes;
Bisexual ladies with alopecia and anal piles;
Gay uncles with low testicles and hairy breasts;
Asian asexuals with anorexia and ample arses;
Very tall intersex folks with vertigo....
; happy pride to everyone ! And I mean everyone. All of you. Even the ones that aren't usually mentioned !!?
; including but not limited to:
BIPOC queers
Disabled queers
Neurodivergent queers
Closeted people
People in countries it's extremely illegal to be queer ( stay safe, it'll be okay !! )
People in unsupportive families ( stay safe, you'll find family / friends who support you, I promise <3 )
Trans folk who haven't and / or have no desire to medically transition
Xenogender users
Neopronoun users
People who use " conflicting " labels like being masc-aligned and a lesbian
Aroallo people ( exclusionists be damned,, you are valid !! )
Intersex people who are AFAB / AMAB
Intersex people in general
Queer people who don't fit their stereotypes ( i.e. Fem lesbian, masc gay, non-androgynous enby )
Black trans women who continue to be masculinized and misgendered ( you are a woman !! A beautiful one at that. )
Gay asian men who are fetishized ( you're not a fetish !! )
Old queer people who are forgotten / underrepresented
Alternative people who are queer ( mainly black / non-white ppl .. But also all of you !! Valid !! )
People who use uncommon microlabels and are always forgotten
Plus-sized queers !!
People who didn't realize they were LGBTQIA+ until much later in life
People who aren't out and proud and are actually having lots of doubts,, it's okay to have doubts !! You're still valid !!
Transmascs / transfems who don't specifically identify as a man / woman
People who are religious and queer
; and everyone else who's often excluded / forgotten !! You're a part of this community and you're so so valid and you deserve to enjoy pride month too ! However you do so. :]
; brief caps tw below this <33
; HAPPY PRIDE MONTH <3
ok so i don’t know if this is just some throwaway thought or something significant, but my mother made a point the other day that she was surprised by jkr’s transphobia. i asked her why and she said that jkr intentionally published books under the name j. k. rowling rather than joanne rowling knowing that readers would assume she was a man. she also wrote mainly from the perspective of a male protagonist. so she essentially passed as a man, or at least that’s how my mom put it. i feel like something more could be said about that but i don’t feel like analyzing it
thank you for acknowledging my state of living
This is so random but if you’re a trans man and you’re alive I love you. Thank you for living.
Stuff I didn't know before I transitioned (FTM)
Binding can make you get rashes and breakouts / cause chafing. For me, I have skin issues and eczema so I tend to breakout and chafe since my breasts are on the bigger side. One solution to this is using a non-gel deodorant stick under the breast if you have nothing else or baby powder. What I use now is Megababe's anti chafe stick and bust dust. They literally make powder for your mewbs!! You can get these at target or any beauty store.
You can get hairy...like...really hairy...very quickly. I shave to go stealth at home and honestly you'd be surprised even Pre-T how often you have to shave all of the time to avoid growing hair, especially on your face. They make special stuff for that, too. For me so far I use only women's razors since they come with lubricant most male razors don't. They may be "women's" razors but honestly it's just a razor with extra gel. It avoids you having to buy extra shaving cream. However, I do use a scrub before shaving to lift the hair. Acne happens and it can happen the same on the "down there" as it does on the face. Don't use anything like summer's eve to try and fix it. Acne usually happens because the skin is super sensitive. There are topicals you can ask for at your gender clinic for it and it's best not to pop or pick at the acne. If you want to protect the curls you may get from T, invest in a good curl creme and a curl gel. I use Not Your Mother's brand. If your parents don't know you're on T (for those around 18-21), don't invite them to sit in on a medical appointment. The nurses typically go through your medication list out loud with you in the room. I'm currently having my boyfriend bring me to appointments to get through. Depending on where you are, if you're still on your parents insurance, they can't see what medications you're taking once you're past 18. Taking T doesn't have to be a huge one time big decision that's all or never. You can go on low dose T, you can even microdose T if you want. You can stop T whenever you want as well.
I'll probably edit and add on to this post as I get farther and farther into my transition, I just wanted to share what I know.