Misc Posts - Tumblr Posts
dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior
Sometimes you spend too much time in a feminist art exhibition and just think "well you've just reduced women to the fact they are reduced to their bodies"
everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.
boss texted me "i appreciate you staying out of the drama in the office"
i literally have no idea what she's talking about
im not defending myself against a vampire. suck away gorgeous
i mean i wrote that post about a real life woman whose actual fingers i want forced in my mouth but it's great that you saw your beatles rpf bleed through the contours of my desire man. all of us are facets on the infinite gem of god's earth. personally i can't see ringo domming
She shouldn't be at the club she should be in a crumbling mansion by the sea sipping wine as she is tenderly romanced by a vampire
fucking stupid u people decided picrews were cringe everyone loves making a lil dress up doll of themself it came free with ur uhhh humanity
Never ever be normal about fictional characters but please GOD be normal about the people who play them, I am begging you
It’s literally impossible for you to make yourself known to everyone you meet. Some people will just get the wrong impression about you and you have to let it go.
I was walking down the street with my brother on a hot day on our way into a bookstore and I said “I hate the sun. It’s too hot. Name ONE reason we need the sun. Literally I can’t think of a single reason why we can’t just figure out a way to block it”
And a guy turned and looked at me with the most dumbfounded and horrified expression Id seen since the last time someone looked at me like that (about a week before) and then turned to the girl with him and they both looked mistified in the worst way.
They really thought I don’t know what the sun’s for.
I could’ve told them I work in environmental science but I was having a conversation with my brother.
Those two people think that’s the day they overheard probably the stupidest thing any human being has ever loudly said in a bookstore.
That’s fine.
I know I know what the sun’s for.
if I was kevin from home alone I’d just let them rob my house idc. not doing all that. similarly if i tried robbing a house and was met w a kid who had psychopathic tendencies / almost killed me…..another perfect time to throw in the towel
I always see the edits but the original is very valid and relatable.
Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like
Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-
Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*
