My Mom - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
For those wondering she said that 'fangs' were the things fish breath out of and when I told her that they're the sharp teeth some animals have she told me to look up the defenetion and it was "either of the sharp teeth some animals,such as snakes and dogs,have"
I just corrected my Canadian mom's (who speaks English for her job)wnglish
⚠️‼️WARNING- This is a rant about forgiveness and letting go. Centered around my childhood. I keep a lot of things vague but there's mentions of emotional, slight physical abuse and addiction.‼️⚠️
"How can you still love dad but you can't forgive mom? If anything dad was WORSE"
Maybe. Maybe not. You don't even know a thing.
For starters. I HAVE let go of mom. I let her go a long time ago. When I was turning 13, she called me, crying the same crocodile "I'm getting sober and staying sober" tears. And I told her, straight up.
Don't you EVER contact me again without a one year chip, a letter from a sponsor, and can look me in the eyes without crying your lying tears and tell me you've changed.
I haven't heard from her since.
I learned yesterday she died, twice, but they saved her, both times. I didn't feel a single thing about it. I just kept watching my show "Serves her right" and moved on. Because I do NOT give a fuck about her.
I've let go of a lot of what you all have done, in fact. The only reason I let you stay in my life is the fact y'all are more or less sober and more or less functional.
"But dad is as bad an addict. And he's DONE WORSE"
He is. But has he?
Dad never got high and drunk and screamed in my face about how he can kill me, wants to even.
Sure. Dad did scream in my face. Because words were never our strong suit. Communication something his thick bullhead never learned. Because we're two Taurus who do nothing but lock horns and it's the same as how he was raised. Constantly arguing with his mother.
A big difference between our mother and father?
For starters you two were favored by mother.
Father, blessedly, loved me more than the son he'd prayed for. Because I was the only one of us three who was ready to love him when he stepped in and out of our life.
Know why he stepped in and out? To keep us from seeing his worst.
Where mother deemed it suitable to expose her very young children to the monster she was and then blubber on about how sorry she was without trying to make changes.
Dad never apologized for something if he didn't plan to fix it. And he made leaps and bounds while I was living with him and forcing emotions and communication on him.
He was a functional addict, at least. I never had to worry if he'd black out and miss work or wreck the car, or start choking me, or even raise a hand to me.
I pushed him once. I pushed him and screamed and cussed and asked "What!? You finally gonna hit me!?"
He looked horrified at the very notion.
And I was so pissed off at the moment I just laughed and walked away.
And he made me dinner and asked if I wanted to sit at the table with him.
That's another thing. I didn't get a home cooked meal from mom until she married her bitch of a now ex-wife who I had mutual animosity for.
And yes I'm a hypocrite because he's an addict too.
But he was, some how, bipolar as he was, the most stable part of my life.
He was also there for my most crucial moments.
Before my teenage years I lived on and off with him. Running to him for safety, comfort, privacy and space. And as a teenager I ran to him again for the same things. From mid middle school to mid high school, where life is really starting to make sense and you learn who you are as a person and the people you want in your life. It was HIM. There for the mood swings. And yes he gave as good as he got, but damn did he take a lot.
He's also the only THE ONE Person who didn't let my little brother treat me like trash.
I spent YEARS fighting tooth and nail against him, literally, physically.
Brother came to stay with me and dad briefly and he put my brothers shit to a stop so quickly I got whiplash.
He was my literal one and only defender.
Idk. Maybe I'm crazy, stupid, a hypocrite.
And I wouldn't live with him where he is in life right now. Or even permanently with who he was before my stint with him in my beginning-mid teenager years.
But those hm, four-ish years?
They were the most important.
He taught me love takes work. Patience and understanding and hard sweat blood and tears.
I'll never have the dad I loved back.
So I guess now it's time to let him go, too.
But at least, unlike with mom, I can look back on my dad and think. Know. With 100% certainty and his whole heart. He loved me truly, sincerely, even when I was a raging bitch.
So I'll let go. But I don't owe a single person my forgiveness. Not even he gets that.
You called me lazy without knowing I was busy trying to keep myself alive
in the age of smartphones, reblog and put in the tags whose phone numbers you still know (don’t say the actual # though lol just who the person is)
I have been enjoying Cult of the Lamb lately. Fun game!
My mom worrying that the bacon we (my family) just ate was bad
My brain, in my dad's voice for some reason: if we suffer, we suffer together, as a ✨ family ✨.
Me to my brain: unlikely but funny
Also me but out loud: if the bacon was bad then Ig we're about to find out lol.
My Mom REFUSED to upgrade for YEARS. She finally gave in when she couldn’t buy anything on VHS at any store and bought a DVD Player and started the task of buying what she wanted on DVD
REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.
"I have the biggest heart on the stage" me when I lie
*me and my mom watching one of the terminator movies*
Me: I want to do that
My mom: Me too
Me: *excited* you want to become transforming slime too!
My mom:…
My mom: no I want I blow up things with big guns
Me: oh-