My Brain - Tumblr Posts
I just came up with another one someone pls for the love of god let me be in your campaign
The feeling of not being able to use your dnd character because you’re not in a campaign is a sadness that can’t be described
“It’s not a fault to forget. It’s just something that happened” -IDK someone probably
my brain during the opening of the masked dancer:
I KNOW IM SORRY </3 I am not funny most the time- thats @weirdoartsy 's thing not mine </3333
UH MY BRAUN LIKE DIED THE SECOND I GOT HOME BUTI AM HWRE TO BE ENTERTAINMENT!!!!! UH UH, WHAT DID THE HOMO SAY TO THE OTHER HOMO? how's it homoing haha, I dunno how to be funny </3
....
What-
Okay so apparently my experiences are not universal
Pls reblog I wanna know if remembering your first fanfic is common or not
adhd gothic
you want to watch a movie. you put it on. two hours have passed. you haven’t watched the movie. there are five new tasks in front of you. you want to watch a different movie.
there is an object in your hand. it is extremely important you don’t lose it. you look down. there is nothing in your hand.
you don’t know your friend’s name. you’ve been friends for months. they just told you their name. you do not know their name.
your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke. why didn’t they laugh? do they hate you? they assure you otherwise. you know they are lying. did they ever like you?
someone asks you what you just said. did you say something? you said so many things. you said nothing. you said everything.
there is something you’re forgetting. you check. you check again. there is nothing you’re forgetting. there is something you’re forgetting.
you had something to say. you can’t remember. it was important. wasn’t it? you can’t remember.
there is a task that needs to be done. it should take ten minutes. you check the clock. it’s been five minutes. you check the clock. it’s been two days.
felix | 필릭스: soulmates
when your friends from college were shocked to discover that you had never, ever been attracted to anyone you've met before, you realized that maybe there was something wrong with you.
you hadn't lied. you were out on the night, a couple drinks in your system, and when they looked at you with wide eyes and itchy throats from so many questions, you were taken aback.
“not even when you were much younger?”
no.
“but what about high school? everyone gets a crush in high school!”
the last thing you thought about in high school was romance, not because you forbade yourself from it, but because it never crossed your mind at all.
“not even in college? this is crazy…”
much less in college. work was piling up on your desk, and you didn't even have time to sleep properly, let alone pay attention to someone else.
that conversation haunted your mind for many days. you had never thought much about your (non-existent) love life, and how weird and abnormal it seemed to those around you, an anomaly in the form of a person.
the hustle and bustle of the city was overwhelming, but it was just another day for you. your head was down, avoiding unnecessary conversations with anyone, those conversations roamed your mind for many days.
the path to your regular coffee shop where you always got a latte was already memorized in your head, taking the same path and stepping where you always stepped every day.
your head was full, and minho seems to have realized that days before he actually asked you anything.
“what is wrong with you these days?” he asked in his usual tone of voice, sassiness escaping his lips as his hands worked quickly to make your order.
minho was your barista, he had always made your coffee since the day you first stepped inside the place, a few months before.
“i’m very, very confused” you confessed, sitting on the stool at the counter, on the opposite side of him.
“about what?” he asked, sliding the warm cup with the good smell that always brings you comfort and the fog that rises from it.
“is never being attracted to absolutely anyone i've ever met normal?” you asked quietly and looked around quickly to see if anyone had noticed.
minho stops for a few seconds and blinks, deep in his thoughts.
“i don't know. how old are you, twelve?” you roll your eyes as soon as he says this, throwing your arms up on the counter and sighing.
“20…” you whisper back, putting your hands over your face to hide the shame gnawing at you.
“oh” he says, and even without seeing him, you can tell he's holding back a smile. “that’s… that’s different”
“is it weird?” you ask, desperately wishing he'd say no, but when you take your hands from your face and see him, his slouched posture propping himself up with his elbows on the counter, you know he's going against what you expect.
“kinda, yeah” he replies. “but have you really, really never been attracted to anyone at all? no one ever stood out to you?”
it is then that the brown hair you know so well appears in your memory. cheeks washed by a sea of freckles and red lips you could never escape.
you are in an almost state of shock for a few seconds, mind completely dominated by the inherent figure of the boy inside your memory.
“have you thought of anyone?” minho questions, but even with open eyes, you can't see him. it was like you were in a trance, coming to a conclusion you definitely didn't want to come to, feeling your heart beat faster for something you didn't want it to.
“hum” you begin, trying to pull yourself together within reality. “if you thought what i asked you was weird… this is even weirder…”
“minho!” someone behind the counter calls out to you loudly, taking their attention away from you.
“what is it, jisung?” he asks, already irritated.
“we have more orders, you need to help me” the dark haired boy complains, steaming some milk nervously.
“can’t you see i’m busy right here?” minho retorts, offended frown etched on his face. “go on, i’m free to listen”
“um…” you look at him and then at the boy who was now making shots of espresso at a speed you couldn't imagine was possible. “sure…” you says uncertainly, then taking a deep breath and thinking about where to start. “there is this guy”
when you suddenly stop talking, minho approaches with his arms on the counter, as if you're telling him a secret.
"ok…?" he encourages you to continue.
“i know him since i was a kid”
“wow, that’s cute” minho says, putting his face in his hands. “like a puppy love or something?”
“no, no” you say. “i… i never met him, like, ever”
minho is visibly confused again, eyebrows rising.
"what do you mean?"
“i’ve never met him in my life”
“but that’s not possible. how do you know him then?”
“through my dreams” you try to explain yourself, but the words being said out loud make you extremely self-contious and realize the craziness that was spewing from your mouth.
after a few seconds of silence and awkward looks, minho finally responds. “well, that’s unusual”
“don’t you think i’m weird?” you ask, taken aback by his lack of reaction.
“because of this? not much. because of the amount of sugar you put on your coffee sometimes? hell yeah”
“i really like sweets…” you slump back in your chair and he just crosses his arms, rolling his eyes slightly.
“tell me more about this guy of your dreams. what's he like?" minho's interest had images of the boy popping into your head so quickly you felt dizzy.
the shy smile that appeared on his pink lips, the low voice when he spoke to everyone, the false and treacherous memory of his house, his bedroom, his school, his clothes.
his name was felix, and you don't remember exactly when or why you started dreaming about him every night, but you know it was when you were very young.
he lived with his grandmother in a large but simple house in the middle of an open field, and he had to walk a long way on a completely empty road to get to school. he was shy but not aloof; he cared too much about everything, actually.
the dreams were very strange, it was like you entered his body and lived in his skin. the warm sweatshirts he liked to wear warmed you up, and his grandma's food that was so delicious that it seemed too real to be just a dream, coming from your imagination. you soon found out that he had the same birthday as you, and every year the dream of that night was the most awaited one, the taste of the birthday cake his grandmother always made became a concrete memory in your head.
by your teenage years, you thought you were going crazy. he could only be a figment of your brain. you never told your parents out of shame, it was like those imaginary friends you have when you are a kid, but yours appeared too late in your life. it didn't make any sense, the dreams were extremely real, the feelings too. you never managed to talk to him, because it was in him that you resided, inside his body and his mind, in an unbelievably strong connection. you tried several times to write small messages in notebooks or walls that you were trying to channel everything you wanted to say, but in the next day's dream, their presence had already been erased, washed away by time.
the moment things took a different turn and you were sure it was real was when a communication began to exist between the two of you. well, sort of, at least. it all started when you woke up one day with tears running like waterfalls down your cheeks, a huge heart ache. you couldn't understand what was going on and what had upset you so much, having just woken up from a dream, but the feeling was so raw and present that it couldn't be anything. he had to be sad and it canalized on you too.
it went on. at completely random times of the day, you would feel an intense urge to laugh, cry, smile, sleep. it was as if his strongest feelings crossed a threshold and flew straight to you.
it wasn't uncommon for dreams you had just sitting in front of a mirror, staring at felix's complex. your fingertips tentatively touching everywhere on his face, feeling the soft, delicate skin beneath your skin. the constellation of freckels on his cheeks made something inside you bubble.
with time you decided to let it go. the strange feeling that consumed you every time you saw him or thought about him started to scare you, that's why lately you refrained from looking in any mirror during the dreams, and also avoided talking, not wanting the thick and deep voice to reach your ears more than it should. you tended to pull away from him even if he didn't know it. whenever you woke up, you tried to keep your mind off felix's memory as much as you could.
that's why you never considered looking for him. the burning fear that maybe he really didn't exist always scared away the idea of looking for him. you knew where he lived, where he studied, you knew everything he liked from the posters spread across the walls, the books in his shelves, and the video games in his room. but you also knew that you couldn't bear the weight of the truth of knowing that he wasn't real, that the boy never existed, so you closed yourself off from him, starting to sleep less every day so that your dreams would be cut short, and that's how you met minho, the need for coffee that entered your life from the exhaustion and fear that dominated you.
“he, well… he's…” you started to say, but couldn't finish, intending not to let your mind linger on him any longer than it should. “better let it go, minho. guess I'll be a weirdo forever then"
minho sighs and walks over to the pastries counter, pulling out a cookie and holding it out to you.
“take it here,” he says, and you take it from him reluctantly.
“are you feeling sorry for me?” you ask, feeling slightly offended.
“no, definitely not…” he trails off, but you know he's lying.
“thanks for the free cookie” you shrug, biting into the candy.
“anytime” he answers and starts making espressos.
in the following days after this conversation the world appeared to be moving in slow motion. the clouds hung low in the gray sky as if they were weighed down by the heaviness of the gloomy days. the dreams were brief and impersonal as you were sleeping less and less. all you wanted was to be able to escape his life, the deep feelings that invaded your heart without your permission, the melancholic hue of the days that passed slowly.
that was a day like any other, classes were endless and you felt a sense of lethargy settle over your head like a heavy and slow clock. all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own home, but when the teacher asked for a few more minutes after class to explain an assignment, you knew you were going to miss the subway.
when class finally ended, your steps were dashed down the street, heavy drops of rain hitting your skin until you found shelter inside the subway tunnels, running to catch the one that was coming. your luck was clouded like the weather outside, the sound of rain echoing like an endless song.
your effort was in vain, as when you arrived the train had its doors closed, the sound of metal on metal emerging as it began to move. a weight was somehow lifted off your shoulders, a sense of being a spectator, watching the world move around you without really being a part of it.
everything suddenly went quiet, and your eyes were unconsciously drawn inside the train, when you see a pair of eyes you never imagined you would see.
your heart raced and burned in your chest as his eyes lock with yours. you feel unable to move or breath, dizziness taking over your body. in that moment, it was as if time stood still and all that existed was the two of you. he seems to have been surprised as much as you, but he wasn't frozen, on the contrary, he took steps to get closer to the train window, but it was too late. the starting noise became deafening, and it felt like it was being pulled away from you.
maybe you were imagining things, the lack of good nights sleep finally catching up to you making you hallucinate. your mind raced with questions and your emotion were a jumbled mess. you couldn't get your mind off his brown hair that he started to grow out, or his cheeks adorably rosy and covered in freckles, his favorite gray sweater that looked more comfortable and handsome than ever, seen on his body.
when the train passes again after a few wasted minutes, you have to force yourself out of the seat and onto it before you miss this one too. the drive home is consumed by a stunned silence, and you think you've finally lost your mind.
when you leave the station, the rain starts to wet you quickly doesn't bother you. you're too in shock to worry about getting soaked, and now more than ever you want to get back to the safety and comfort of your home.
out of nowhere, the rain stops all over your skin and a shadow looms over your head. being pulled out of your thoughts, your gaze rises to see an unfamiliar umbrella being held over your head, and when you turn your back to see who was protecting you from the rain, your thoughts almost gave out.
it was one thing to see felix in the mirror, through a filter, a thin line that separates what is possible and what is not. it's another thing to see him so close, this time inside his own body. he blinks at you several times, as if trying to check if he's seeing correctly or not.
“excuse me, um…” he starts to say and scratches the back of his head with his free hand. his deep voice cuts through your chest like a blade, that velvety voice that has sent a shiver down your spine more times than you can remember. “i know this might sound crazy, but have we met before?” he asks, but you don't answer, you can't. it's like your lips are glued together. “in my dreams, i mean” he explains.
his big, hopeful eyes wait for an answer, he unconsciously leans in closer to look at you more closely. you give in to your instincts however and your fingertips fly out to touch him on the cheek, the familiar soft skin coming into contact with your skin.
the truth of his existence is overwhelming, and you can't stop the tears shyly welling up in your eyes. “you're real…” is the only thing you manage to get out, and your other hand comes up to his face, cupping his cheeks.
a look of relief appears on her delicate features, and he snuggles into her touch.
“you're real. i cant believe it. I've dreamed about you my whole life,” you whisper to him, voice muffled by the raindrops hitting the umbrella over your head.
“i never thought i'd actually find you in real life, it's surreal” he speaks softly too, a smile that wasn't able to be repressed appearing on his lips. “i came looking for you here because i remembered your address from the dreams. i also dreamed of you my whole life, i just… i just couldn’t keep imagining you and not being able to see you in front of me”
discreet tears run lightly down your face, and he gives you a weak smile.
"it's like all the pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place" he says, placing his free hand on your cheek the same way you placed it on his earlier. "i don't know how to explain it, but being near you feels like coming home"
you finally crack a big smile in his direction, and you could have sworn you saw his eyes light up with it.
“i feel the same” you say, and the feeling of the rain hitting your face quickly appears.
felix lets go of the umbrella that was in his hand and snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you into a warm, tight hug.
“that's nice” he whispers in your ear, and you don't hesitate to hug him back. “because to me it feels like all my dreams came through”
skz as romantic tropes masterlist
taglist: @leeknowinggg @vumiixlyy
Equally tired and agitated meaning I'm going to have a breakdown zombie style
ok no more coherent thoughts only crying and wailing.
Bad cares so much for the eggs wahhh
After being so stingy with his money all this time he just spent a collective 12000 on the eggies tonight WAHH
And hes so kind and you can just tell he cares so much I cant take it. My heart is going to explode 😢
He sounds so happy and thankful they are back and just Wahh o(-(
It hurtssss
It hurts so bad...
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
My brain be like:
Fool me once, shame on me
Fool me twice, shame on me
Fool me thrice, shame on me
Three hours later
Fool me six hundred and seventy four times, ohohohoh you’re fucked
ooc: “In Back to the Future, Marty McFly is very frustrated, and he expresses it with, you know, that “UUUUHHHHAAAAHHHH” sound. Here is a compilation of every time he does it in the first film.”
Leila showed this to me at work yesterday and was on the floor laughing so I had to post it here. It’s very important to this blog.
