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zen🖤🎬🎤 @cheritzteam
RFA (plus saeran) with an MC that leaves when she gets angry (don’t worry they all make up)
so this took me all day but i want to try writing something everyday so here ya’ll go let me know if y’all like it. also i just noticed how often i misspell the names and i ask for mercy i have dyslexia and i really am trying to catch these things.
Jumin
- You two rarely argued but when you did it tended to bring out EVERYTHING past and present
- You couldn’t even remember what exactly had sparked the argument
- Something about not eating, or was it because you had worked yourself to exhaustion two days ago
- Whatever the reason both of you were angry.
- You knew he cared about you, knew that behind the anger was fear and love
- That didn’t make his stern and angry voice more tolerable though
- Didn’t soften his piercing gaze or ease your own frustration
- “okay. I’m done fighting Jumin.” You say coldly cutting him off mid-sentence
- “what” he asked looking for intents and purposes like you had slapped him across the face unexpectedly
- “I’m done Jumin. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m going for a walk; I’ll be home by dinner.”
- “your leaving me?” he asked cautiously afraid of the answer
- “if I were leaving you I would have just left. I wouldn’t have told you I’d be back. I’m just, I’m done fighting.”
- And with that, you were out the door.
- 3 hours later you hung your coat up in the penthouse entry way and met your husband at the dinner table
- “I’m sorry” both of you said simultaneously
- You put your hand up to quiet him as you see the question in his face before he can even ask
- “I know I can’t just leave like that. It’s not good to just shut down a conversation like that. I just I hate fighting, I hate being angry and arguing. I’d rather simply not do it. You know?”
- “better than you could imagine my love”
Yoosung
- “I wasn’t flirting with him!
- “he was flirting with you though!”
- “I can’t control what he does yoosung”
- “you could have walked away!”
- “I was pay- no you know what. No” you put your hands up and turned to leave the kitchen where you too where arguing as you put away the groceries
- “wait, we, we were talking” yoosung spluttered as you tugged your coat back on and grabbed your purse
- “no yoosung you were talking, you were talking if you want you can keep talking, you’ll get just as far in the argument as you would if I were here so go ahead. Me I’m going to go get a drink at the cat café. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back”
- Then you were gone. Door shut surprisingly gently behind you
- And yoosung was left alone angry and confused
- So he did what he always did when he needed to process emotions, he played LOLOL
- You called on your way home just as you said you would but when he didn’t answer he couldn’t help the sigh that fell from your lips
- “yoosungie? I’m sorry I bailed on you. You know I don’t deal with frustration well, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have walked out like that. I’m on my home. See you soon puppy.” You mumbled into the phone as you left a voicemail
- As soon as you walked through the door he was on you with the tightest hug you had ever felt
- “MC! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you leave I just I saw the guy at the store and the way he looked at you I guess I kind of freaked out”
- You couldn’t help yourself, not when he was nuzzling his face into your hair and rubbing your back as he hugged you
- “puppy!” You cooed pulling back to fluff his hair a bit “I love you” you laughed at the rising blush on his cheeks and kissed his nose
Saeyoung
- You only fight when seven is closing himself off again. Most of the time when this happens you can usually simply love him through it
- But every now and then you got frustrated. Frustrated that he still didn’t trust you frustrated that he still thought you were better off without him. After all this time everything you’ve been through he still doesn’t understand how much you love him
- That what led to this fight. He was shutting you out again
- “MC seriously I’m trying to work I don’t have tim-“
- “saeyoung I’m leaving. I’ll be back, I don’t know later I guess I’ll take the routes with cameras so you don’t have to worry”
- “what? MC you can’t just”
- “I can. I am. See ya”
- So you left before he could say anything else.
- You took the CCTV covered routes and purposefully avoided looking at the cameras.
- He called you a couple of times and you made sure he saw you see the call on your phone before you decline the call.
- When you finally calm down you make your way home and find him at his computer.
- You sit on the floor next to his chair and pull out your phone texting him a quick sorry message and telling him you’ll be right beside him whenever he finishes working.
- After a while you feel his hand in your hair and you hum contentedly knowing that you two could get through this
- Just like you had gotten through everything else
Zen
- He hurt himself. Again. You had warned him that he was pushing himself to hard and he still pushed.
- Now he was hurt and out of commission for 2 days and you had more work to do than ever.
- You loved this man really you did, but between the upcoming RFA party, the new fan club coordination position you had taken up, and being his manager you were feeling frustrated and overwhelmed
- So once he was settled in bed and safe you told him you had to run some errands
- “ugh you were right jagi I’m sorry”
- You damn right I was right
- “listen to me.” You said coldly “I love you, but if you get up from that bed while I’m gone, I will throw the TV through that door and then post that video of you after you met Elly, swollen face and all.”
- That shut him up fast. Looking at his mouth opening and closing as he looked for something to say almost made you feel bad. Almost.
- “I’m just, I’m angry right now and I need some time to calm down. I love you but you have to give me a bit. I promise I’ll be back soon” you explained with a sigh.
- And so here you were sitting on your laptop at local café and posting an update for Zen’s fan club.
- It had only been 15 minutes but you already felt bad for leaving him alone. So you began to pack up. That was until you noticed a new message on your latest post.
- The fans wanted to put together a collection for Zen’s injury. That actually gave you a good idea
- 30 minutes and 48 different emails later and you were ready, this would be perfect and you couldn’t wait to get back to your zenny
- When you got home you were relieved to find zen asleep and not waiting up for you as you worried he might. You kissed his forehead and set to work connecting your laptop to the TV.
- When he woke up you helped him to the couch and just before you showed him what you and his fans had put together you set of a camera
- “jagi? What is all this?” he asked laughing a little at all the stuff you had set up
- “trust me Zenny you’ll love it and so will they. I just know it”
- You played a compilation of the videos the fans had sent you of them wishing Zen well and telling him how much they loved his work. Video fan mail would definitely lift his spirits.
- Not to mention posting his reaction would make the fans happy.
Jaehee
- Cake burned, coffee spilled, cat hair everywhere.
- day ruined
- You were dog tired and so done with today when an equally tired and grumpy jaehee stumbles from the cafes back office
- “MC what, it’s a wreck in here!” she exclaims
- “really? I hadn’t noticed.” You replied sardonically before sighing “I know I’m working on it right now.”
- “no it’ll be faster if I do it you just go, go make dinner at home” you could hear the edge in her voice and couldn’t help but respond in kind
- “You know I’m not the one who let the cat in right?” you almost spat
- “I didn’t say you did MC.” She sighed rubbing her temples
- It had all started about 2 hours ago when a child had let in a street cat to get it out of the deluge outside. The ensuing chaos led to shutting early and trying to desperately heard a scared and soaked cat outside into a slowly fading rainstorm.
- Needless to say that the café you two had worked so hard for was currently in shambles.
- “fine. Your right. It’s probably faster if you just go it alone.” You muttered before stalking out the door and into the rain.
- You had only made it half a block before you felt the rain stop
- But it hadn’t stopped. You looked around only to see jaehee holding an umbrella over your head
- You couldn’t help the breathless laugh the left you
- “I guess I wasn’t thinking when I left was I”
- “I wasn’t thinking when I told you to leave. So we’re even.”
Saeran
- you knew this wasn’t about you
- it was about the new councilor, who had mentioned his mother
- it was about seven doting over him about his medicine
- it was about everything and everyone smothering him
- so you told yourself again and again that this screaming wasn’t about you
- you tried to be understanding and most of the fights ended with the catharsis of a tantrum and the comfort of a gentle hug
- this was not most times
- “I should have just left you at mint eye where you belong!”
- You had worked so hard to support his recovery. You were used to insults, used to frustration
- But he said this quietly, seething and dark and you were angry.
- You felt your stare go icy and saw his eyes widen in surprise
- You didn’t get angry often and he was always surprised when you did
- “saeran. I’m leaving for a while. I’ll come back when I calm down”
- “you can’t just leave”
- “I couldn’t leave at mint eye but I can now” you spat without even looking back at him
- “you wouldn’t dare!”
- “I will be back when I calm down” you said slowly before finally walking out the door
- He was furious, and with no one to point his anger at he paced his room.
- As his anger faded he felt the all too familiar regret and guilt wash over him as he let himself fall backwards on his bed
- You had been gone for quite a while and he wondered balefully if this would be the time you didn’t come back to him
- It had to happen sooner or later after all
- You had left nearly an hour ago and you could still feel the cold and icy grip of anger on your heart. You really had to do something, anything with this feeling.
- you yelled. You raged and spat and cursed alone in the middle of the woods. Primal scream therapy, your mother had called it; cathartic your father had said. All you knew was you felt better and Saeran didn’t have to take the brunt of it.
- When you returned you saw saeran laying on the bed and you cleared you throat as you stood in the door way. He sat up and eyed you in clear surprise
- “your back” he said simply as though you hadn’t told him you would return.
- You chided yourself when you remembered all the people in his life that HADNT returned
- “it’ll take more than a raised voice a few mean words to get rid of me” you said making your way to sit next to him
- “you just left.” He mumbled not meeting your eye’s
- “I know. I shouldn’t have done that. I was very angry and I didn’t want to say something I’d regret. Next time I Promise to try to calm down here instead of leaving.”
- “I don’t like when you leave”
- “I don’t like leaving”
- These quiet moments were few and far between, but you cherished them, they meant progress.
RFA + Saeran with MC with depression
these depression symptoms are based solely on my personal experience with depression. everyone experiences things differently if you or someone you love is going through depression no matter what symptoms they show or don’t show, they deserve love, compassion, and help. it does get better. help is out there and worth the effort. you aren’t alone.
Also my depression is almost entirely biochemical, meaning that when I’m on my medicine my depression is generally controlled very easily. This is why medication plays such a major role in these head cannons. Everyone’s depression treatment is different some people benefit more from counseling than medication. Some people require hospitalization some need tender in home care. Find what works for you and stick with it. I promise, it’s worth it.
Jumin
- his approach is diligence.
- he was so busy he didn’t notice at first
- it was when the maid contacted him to ask if MC was okay that he started to pay attention
- the maid had mentioned the MC had been in bed when she came to clean the last three days
- Jumin knew MC wasn’t lazy far from it actually if she wasn’t busying herself with one of her many hobbies or planning the next RFA party she was usually visiting a friend not lying in bed.
- something was wrong. he came home right away to check on her
- she was surprised and apologized profusely as though she had been caught doing something wrong
- “love I’m not angry, I’m worried.” she smiled lightly and assured him she was fine just tired recently
- so Jumin watched closer, noticed more
- he saw her eat less, sleep more, her knitting didn’t progress, nor did her reading or writing. the party planning came along but even it seemed to go slower.
- it was when she started to leave sentences hanging that he put his foot down
- “honey bunny really, please. I don’t need a doctor.”
- “you aren’t yourself love. you don’t even talk to me anymore”
- “we, we talk.”
- “no I talk you listen. I miss you. your right beside me but you feel so far away”
- “I probably just need my medicine”
- “medicine. you didn’t tell me you take medicine! medicine for what are you okay?!?”
- “I, I didn’t want to worry you! It’s not a big deal honestly I shouldn’t even need it. it’s so stupid. I take an anti-depressant or I’m supposed to. it’s hard to remember sometimes and I forget.
- in an instant Jumin was hugging her carding his fingers through her hair holding her tighter than he had ever held anyone
- “bring me your medicine. you’re taking it right now. from now on I won’t let you forget”
- he came to bed every night with a glass of water and MC’s medicine.
- he found support groups, funded research, sought out the best counselors and psychologists.
- he hated that he couldn’t immediately fix the problem but if he couldn’t cure her then he would get her the best treatment money could buy
Yoosung
- his approach is overprotective.
- he first noticed how restless MC was. she would switch videos before they started, change apps before one had even finished loading.
- “MC are you okay?” but she assured him she was
- next he noticed that she wasn’t leaving the house as often, she didn't leave to see her friends and she hadn’t called her family in weeks. messages and texts would either be ignored or answered with single word replies.
- even their conversations seemed far more one sided
- something was off so he asked for help.
- the chatroom was abuzz with worry about MC and Yoosung couldn’t keep up with all the advice
- then he got a call. from V
- V worried that MC might be depressed offered to give yoosung some numbers to call, doctors to see.
- yoosung hung up and confronted MC immediately angry & scared
- “is it true? why didn't you tell me?”
- “it’s not bad really. most of the time I just need my medicine and I’m fine but,”
- “but what”
- mc see blinked back tears “I, I lost them in the move and I can’t get more till the end of the month. i thought, I thought I could make it but I’m so tired Yoosung”
- he didn’t know what to say so he just held her. he stayed holding her all night”
- the next morning, he helped her search the whole apartment and when they still couldn't find them they went to the pharmacy together to explain the situation
- yoosung watched her carefully for weeks’ afterword to make sure she was okay
- too anyone else he would have seemed paranoid but MC knew why he was so carful
- he was shook after rika and wasn't going to take any chances with her
Saeyoung
- his approach is patient.
- he knew the signs already
- heck he had lived them
- so when he noticed MC’s jokes had taken a darker turn he decided to watch her closer
- and he saw it, saw her slowly slip into the habits he had seen so many times in the mirror.
- so he did what he could. He held her when she shut down.
- sought her out when she would hide
- more often than not he simply sat in the room with her like she had with him. Sat near her so that when she felt like talking he would be there
- after days of sitting next to her as waiting for her to reach out it happened
- “I’m not okay”
- this was progress since for days she had insisted that she was fine and simply just tired
- “what do you need” he asked gently intertwining their fingers
- “will you help me get my medicine. I ran out. I don’t know when I was supposed to get the refill”
- this was something he could do and he would do anything for her
- it does sooth his conscience a bit too know this was something she struggled with before meeting him and not because of him
Zen
- His approach is by far the gentlest
- The first thing he noticed was her sleep.
- She tossed and turned when before she would happily snuggle into his arms and stay there happily all night
- Then he noticed her smile seemed more forced than before
- She didn’t cry much but she also didn’t laugh like she had before
- When she started having trouble falling asleep he sang her lullabies
- When she started eating less he started learning to cook
- When she left in the middle of his play and hid in the theater bathroom. He asked for answers.
- Gently trying to coax her out of the bathroom to talk to him
- The second the door is open he’s inside and holding her. She sits in his lap and cries for the first time
- He sings to her gently and helps calm her down until her breathing evens out and she can talk
- “I’m just so tired. I’m tired of everything Zen. I want to go home. Even when I’m home I want to go home I know it doesn’t make sense. I know. I’m just, I’m so tired”
- He holds her tight telling her that it’s okay. That he’ll fix it.
- Once she’s asleep he’s calling Jaehee. She’s smart and if anyone could find the help MC needs it’s her
Jaehee
- Her approach is slightly clinical
- The first thing she notices is MC skips movie night
- Then she sees her sleep in and skip a lot of her self-care
- MC is still working as hard as ever but she’s exhausted all the time
- She’s worried and when MC refuses to go to the doctor she does the research herself
- Then she confronts MC too ask if her guess is right
- when MC admits to getting off her meds jaehee goes rigid
- jaehee is worried. everything about this feels uncertain and she hates feeling uncertain
- So Jaehee does what she does best.
- She plans. She learns. She works.
- She knows the medication and how it works.
- She sets up an entire routine for MC taking her medicine and doing all the self-care things that are supposed to help
- She insists that MC see a councilor since she admits emotions aren’t her strong suit.
Saeran
- His first tip-off is when she forgets to refresh the water in the flower vases
- The second is when she skips walks in favor of staying in bed
- It feels like he’s losing her and its making him panic a bit
- he sees how lifeless her eyes are when he tells about the newest garden blooms
- she’s not her positive happy go lucky self anymore
- he hates it when she smiles and it looks so broken
- he makes her a bowl of ice-cream and she only eats a fourth of it
- he’s getting worried and trusting relationships are pretty new to him
- but secrecy and information hacking aren’t so that’s what he goes back to
- he finds your medical records and see’s you have an expired prescription for anti-depressants
- he confronts you angrily and questions what’s wrong with you
- how can you expect him to get treatment when you won’t even take your medicine
- you explain that you were on your way to get your meds when you got called to mint eye
- and then in all the chaos you forgot, and at this point you’d have to see your doctor again
- your tired it doesn’t seem worth it
- he looks guilty and ashamed but you pull him into your arms
- he apologizes for everything with mint eye again and you can feel him shaking
- you assure him it isn’t his fault, it was bad circumstances and bad timing not him
- he makes you promise to go to the doctor you make him promise to go with you
- you could do anything together after all
- he wants you happy if you need this medicine then he wants you to have it