Original Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

how can i be looking you in the eyes and still miss you so much? how can i long for your touch when it still lingers on my skin?

i think it is so good and so pure that my mind gets so quiet and my body so tired when i am with you. that i trust you so far beyond conscious levels, enough to let me relax into the most physically vulnerable state possible when i have spent my life on edge everywhere i go.

🌼🌻🥃Imagination is the root of all creation....curiosity and wonder bring it all to life🥃🌻🌼

Recently, I've been thinking about the post I saw drawing a comparison between Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian's refusal to carry a sword. And like... it's really interesting. So we have Nie Huaisang, who makes no bones about how he doesn't want to carry his sabre from childhood. He does his best to avoid training. He doesn't care that people call him weak and treat him like he is lesser because he has a mediocre core and doesn't tote a sabre around. Yes, his brother gets extremely irritated because of this, but ultimately he is the son of one of the great sects. Everyone just accepts that sometimes a young master just isn't going to be good at the things he should be. Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, is given the Head Disciple title at a pretty young age (the youngest if I remember right). He is considered a prodigy, very strong. He has a brilliant mind and a strong core from a young age and people know it. He hasn't rejected his duties since childhood. He isn't the son of a great sect, his position is ambiguous, since he is treated like the brother of the heir and the young mistress of the clan. But he isn't officially adopted. He doesn't have the name. He makes his own name by being strong and charismatic. And then something changes, no one knows what, and suddenly he isn't carrying Suibian, the sword that he clearly was proud of and enjoyed carrying before he disappeared. He doesn't let anyone know about his core, he just suddenly appears, not carrying a sword but still strong and fighting. So people assume he is being arrogant, that he has decided to flout tradition, just because he feels like it, because that is what he tells them. He withdraws from everyone, especially the people he loved the most. It is suspicious and confusing. And he doesn't offer any reasons. He lets people think what they want, because he cannot make himself say: I lost my core and cannot carry my sword anymore. They are at war, his home sect is in tatters, everyone is barely holding on. What would happen if one of their strongest fighters, who does what needs to be done, no matter the cost to himself, exposed that weakness? He cannot do that. So he lets them think what they will, which means that they think the worst of him. It is the waste of the talent, the hubris of flouting their traditions as a servant, a servant who has surpassed a good many of them. A servant who was a significant part of how they won the war. A servant with the confusing status of being considered a brother of the Jiang siblings, but no actual legal or much social standing in that role. That is what makes them turn on Wei Wuxian. It is a terrible flaw in the cultivation society. But that is just my take.

I am not Chinese, I have not studied the culture. I am just thinking about it from my perspective.

Woe to those who live with me when I have writers or artists block. Since I was in elementary school the way I deal with block is... completely rearrange my space. I'm currently rearranging the entire house to get the dining room table out of my bedroom and get my craft desk in there. My poor children are confused and want me to stop. It's chaos. But! We'll have a dining table to eat meals together and play board games at. I'll get to the sewing projects that I'm neglecting. And I'll be ready to write and draw again.

Somehow this is something I think WWX would do. Creative funk? Completely rearrange the cave!

This One’s For The Boys

For my guys, my dudes, my broskis, my mates, my pals, and most importantly, my friends

The Sunshine Boys: those who are so good it's kinda hard to believe they actually exist. Not a mean bone in their body. Always got something nice to say. Works quietly in the background, but is always there for you. Smiles are literally blinding; so full of sunshine goodness and light. Honestly just makes your heart warm to see them again. Life is better simply because they light up every single life they touch, and just like the sun, you desperately miss the warmth of their soul and wholesome character when they are gone. Also somehow also a living golden retriever???

The Cinnamon Roll Boys: boys too sweet and wholesome for this world. May or may not give you a cavity. Always spending time in the kitchen thinking about what new masterpieces they want to create. Secret quiet confidence. A real classic gentleman. The type of boy your momma would love, and your siblings want to be their brother. Strong desire to squish face cheeks because they've got that strong baby energy.  Always there with a smile, a hug and a warm plate of homemade cookies. Compassionate to the max, they just wanna share that goodness with everybody. Always makes you feel welcome and part of the family. Best Friend Material hands down, so he will tease. You have been warned. 

The Adventure Boys: Makes everything seem like a grand adventure. Excitedly grabs your hand with a reckless grin, bright eyes and pulls you into whatever form of mischief they're currently up to. Karaoke jam sessions in the car, late-night food runs, stickers and memorabilia of every trip. Doesn't take pictures as much as they probably should because they're always too caught up in the moment. A little reckless, making your heart race just a little, but heart of gold because they just want to experience the world with you. Every adventure becomes a fond memory with soft but often exasperated smiles. 

The Grass Boys: Quiet soft boys who feel more comfortable out in the sun or up in a tree somewhere. Fantastic listener, wicked observant, probably a closet nerd, but is an engaging story teller once you get to know him. Messy hair always up in a baseball cap with golden skin that's been kissed from adventures out in the sun all day. Has fingers and shoes stained with something he's working on. The handyman, knows oodles of random facts and probably could fix anything if you give enough time and a little bit of duct tape. Dad  in training. Not afraid to take the lead when needed to, but always going to make sure your voice has been included. 100% would be the type to dance in the rain with you. 

The Fire Boys: Boys with boisterous voices and quick tongues whose passions blaze within their hearts. Intense and a little in your face, but they just can't hold back how much they feel. Never afraid to stand up for what they believes in and is loyal almost to a fault. Will fight you and for you. Stubborn and doesn't back down, always wanting to find justice for the world because just wants to make it better. Sometimes anger runs away from him, and worlds may burn a little, but there will be nowhere safer than in the warmth of this boy's hug. 

To all the boys, I'm sorry that we live in a world where your thoughts and feelings have been dismissed and made trivial. 

You are important. You are needed. Your influence is making a difference and the world needs more goodness like you. 

From a girl who sees you, is proud of your efforts and loves you from a distance for the wonderful person that you are. 

Just a little something I came up with while reading my scriptures today.

thanks for @saspas-corner for being my personal adviser in designing it 🧡☝🏼

*smiles crookedly with a somewhat impish look in my eye* You’ve heard the phrase kill ‘em with kindness right? *snickers as I load my heart shaped bullets into my nerf gun as I aim it directly at you* Well watch me as I commit first degree murder

Random Turtle HC: Raph & Anxiety

*clears throat and approaches microphone before hitting whiteboard with a ruler* A-HEM! Behold my theories peasants!

As we see expresses in the VERY 1st episode of ROTTMNT, the turtles can recognize each others signature scents and can smell fear.

Raph especially is shown briefly through the brothers dialogue to be the most aware and self conscious about said scent to the point of becoming defensive about it.

This leads me to believe that due to both natural biological olfactory senses and increased abilities due to mutation, the turtle brothers (with an advanced ability tipping to Raph due to his size and sensitivity) can actually smell the hormone cortisol.

WebMD defines cortisol as, “Your body’s main stress hormone. It works with certain parts of your brain to control your mood, motivation, and fear.”

Simply put, the turtle boys can literally smell fear.

Now I know you’re asking yourself, “Okaaaaaay cool fun fact I guess, what does that have to do anything with me?”

*takes a step back and adjust glasses with a smirk*

My dear dear fellow tumblr, allow me to share the wonders of mixing fact, madness and media all in one! *sounds of maniacal cackling can be heard*

(I wrote this with the intent to be platonic but it could be romantic if you squint long enough)

•So we've established Raph can smell fear right?

•As a protective big brother who is quite literally in fact “BIG” he knows a thing or two about getting scared

• Especially when it comes to looking out for people he cares about

•Hes been fighting baddies for his family since he was a tot! From keeping away scary dreams at night, from crushed ancient metal zombies to terrifying alien virus monsters, there ain't much he hasn't seen

•So when you join the ranks of the Mad Dogz, you immediately also get a built in prtoector

•Raphs been looking out for the little guys his whole life, what's one more?

•Not to mention you're kinda cute, so he doesn't mind sticking around a little bit closer

•But you're different than most folks, Raph notices. I mean besides the fact that you WILLING want to be friends with 4 mutant turtles of all things.

•No besides your abnormal incredible bravery in looking beyond the status quo to reach out the hand of friendship to these reckless reptiles, Raph noticed that you just kind of…smelled

•Not in a bad way or anything just…you always seemed to have a lingering scent of fear on you

•And Raph would know. Hed recognize that scent anywhere. It's a scent that ghosts every hour of every day for him. Nighttime and being alone especially.

•Raph hates being scared. He's the biggest and the oldest. He's supposed to look after his peeps! And he can't do that if he's frozen with fear all the time!

•So what does he do? Raph faces the problem head on like he always do.

•You get scared a lot. That's understandable, but Raph decides to make it his business that you don't need to be scared when he's around.

•Raph’ll protect ya

•Be prepared to have this turtle subtly (orrer not to much so because although he's a ninja he ain't exactly tactful or subtle) watching you every time you and the gang get all together

•Its not hard. You've always caught his attention for some reason or another. So looking at you is something he does without even realizing it.

•He’s looking for triggers, anything that gets that heart rate of yours spiking and that scent start to waft.

•Fidgeting hands, bouncing knees, shutting down and slinking into your hoodie, nervous chewing, pulling or playing with your hair and pacing, he's got eyes on it all.

•Once a trigger has been spotted, Raph immediately tries to locate the source

•Too many people? Suddenly you find a 6ft something giant turtle behind you, letting you know with his massive presence alone that he got your back. Literally.

•He kinda likes this position because he can see everyone that comes close enough to interact with you and everybody can see him.

•All he's got to do is narrow his eyes a little a give em a flash of that all too familiar snaggle tooth of his if he thinks someone's being mean and he gets his unspoken threat across just fine

•Not to mention you're also close enough to grab if someone he doesn't deem fit for your attention gets a little too close for his liking. But he doesn't say that part out loud.

•Scared of talking? You suddenly feel the cool tip of his massive scaely alligator tail (anatomically correct alligator tail be darned, I'm going with the fandoms HCs for this one) gently wrapping around your ankle as a physical reminder that he's right there here to support you

•Overwhelmed and the world feels like it's closing in on you? Raphs massive size is a natural battering ram that allows him to pass through thick crowds with easy. He's not afraid to help heard you into a quiet little corner away from it all

•Years of practice with Donnie allows him the experience to ask you if you're good with touch.

•If yes, you know you're going to be instantly wrapped into his arms, pulled flushed up against the worn keratin of his plastron. Raph’s always been more of “hands-on experience” kinda of guy anyway.

•Raph gives good hugs. They're firm and tight, padded with the security of arms who have been holding the weight of the world for years.

•He will rest his chin on top of your head, gently guiding your head with the motion ever so slightly so you're somehow perfectly nestled right against his heart.

•It's a loud heart, especially when you're up so close. It's actually his strongest muscle and one he's most proud of. He cares about you, so he reckons he’ll allow you the privilege of getting close to it. In more ways than one.

•Raph doesn't talk much during these special security hugs. He's never really been much good with words anyways. Raph knows sometimes the noise can be too much, but he also knows that the silence can be defeaning. So being a turtle comes with some built in perks that make up a happy medium.

•Hes got a special churr saved for special situations just like this one. It's one of the lowest and deepest ones he's capable of making. More akin to a muted growl more than anything the way it vibrates his chest as you're pressed up against it. You can feel it more than hear it and it just takes a handful of minutes listening to this bad boy before Raph can sense your fear stink slowly dissipating and your natural sweet scent can return.

•Raph can smell fear, and there's something incredibly humbling for this Atlas of a turtle to have the sweet experience of watching that scent drift away whenever he gets the privilege of being close to you like this.

•”You don't need to be scared no more, Sweet Pea. Raph’s got ya. I'm gonna be right here until you're ready to face the world again. Until then, let me just hold ya.”

Dedicated to the one and only @anobodyinabog. Sorry this took so long,but I hope your day gets better Shortcake. Please know you're always looked out for and loved ok? 🧡❤️