Package - Tumblr Posts
So I ordered a collector's edition of a video game, and the ETA was Monday.
I was out and about yesterday, and decided to give Garwik a call on his lunch to check if it had been dropped off. They're replacing the fences at our townhouses so he's in the back yard with the dog.
"Not yet," he responds.
I check my email.
"That's really weird... it says they attempted to deliver."
"What? There was no sticker."
"It says they attempted to deliver ... One minute ago?"
"Give me a second... Son of a bitch!"
So in true courier fashion, in the one minute Garwik was out back, the Purolator van had pulled up, jumped out, pushed the doorbell, slapped the prepared "sorry we missed you!" sticker on the door, and took off.
And of course you have to wait a day to go get it from the centre.
So I pull up outside the building today, on my motorcycle, in the rain, and the lady has the cleverness to giggle "Oh! I hope youre not picking up a BIG package!"
"Actually, I am..." I respond wearily, handing her the slip.
She vanishes in the back and returns with a torso sized brown box. "You weren't kidding!"
"Eugh," I grunt noncommittaly, finding my ID.
"You sure you'll be able to manage this?" she asks, making conversation, I guess?
I sigh, and glance up at her. "Well since company policy is 'Ding-Dong-Ditch' and we couldn't get to the door in the forty-five seconds it took to slap the sticker on our mailbox and run back to the truck, I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
She didn't know how to respond to that.
Thanks, Susan, for pointing out that lugging around big boxes on a motorcycle, in the rain, is less than ideal. I'm glad I paid extra to get it delivered Monday and instead had to get it myself Tuesday.
I parked on the lane right in front of their doors, because that's what their trucks always do, so it seemed appropriate.
Right package, wrong person
Victor had always wanted to get bigger, but his body could only do so much. This was why he bought this necklace that an etsy user was selling that was said to make you a stronger version of yourself. It cost a pretty penny for Victor but he took the risk and wanted to see if the seller was legit on their promise. 2 weeks had past and Victor forgot that the package was still coming. When Victor got out of school one day he got a notification that his package had arrived at his house and he got excited. He hurried home and got a text from his dad.
The text said "I'm going to the gym son, will be home soon." That was weird, Victor's dad had not gone to the gym since Victor was in diapers. Victor got home and ran to the kitchen where he saw an opened box on the table. Oh no, Victor thought, the necklace was not in the box. Victor texted his dad if he had opened his package. Victor's dad said he did since his name was on it. Victor forgot that he had used his dad's card to purchase the necklace. Victor's dad texted back saying he was suprisingly doing great at the gym since he put on the necklace.
Victor was furious, he drove to the gym to get the necklace back before it was too late. Victor entered the gym and asked the employee sitting at the front if his dad was there still. The employee pointed to the back at the weights section. Victor's dad never was back there, until Victor saw his dad and what he had become.
Victor's dad had become a behemoth. His body was now the size of a professional bodybuilder. Victor's dad looked at himself in the mirror. He began to flex his enormous muscles and smiled, feeling the power that he never imagined he would have. He smiled seeing his body expand and his veins pop out of his arms.
Victor felt inferior, his dad was now the biggest guy at the gym and everyone was in awe of how big his dad was. "Come on son, let's go home", Victor's dad said with a now deep voice. The necklace was tight against Victor's dad's thick neck. As they were leaving, Victor's dad thanked his son for the necklace. He said that he knew all along what his plan was and made sure Victor was gone that day the package came. He started to laugh, which made Victor even more defeated because life was gonna be extremely different from now on.
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