Raven Rants - Tumblr Posts
Once again begging y’all to keep it to yourselves. And if your gonna talk about an idol smoking fucking tag it properly so those of us who don’t wanna know can avoid it. I have stuff in my blocked tags for a reason but that doesn’t fucking work if people don’t tag correctly (I’m looking at you tiktok army)
And I get that people will say ‘well your trauma isn’t my responsibility’ no it isn’t but how am I supposed to be responsible for my own trauma if y’all make it impossible to have the things I’ve put in place to protect myself actually work and keeping me away from it. It’s not that fucking hard to just put a tag or hashtag so those of us who don’t wanna know can actually have our blocked tags work.
Disclaimer cause I know some people will take this wrong: This in not me saying idols shouldn’t smoke or that they’re bad people for smoking, this is just me saying I don’t wanna know about it is they do.
(TW: mentions of smoking trauma. Trauma rant)
This may be a controversial topic. But if you suspect an idol of vaping or smoking, keep it to your fucking self. If they do smoke I don’t wanna know about it because it genuinely really triggers me when people point it out. Like I know this is a toxic idea but it really fucking changes my view of people when I find out the might smoke. Like I saw a Koreaboo post about an idol possibly accidentally showing a vape on live and it actually made me feel physically I’ll. Like I had a physical reaction and it’s actually made me feel really uncomfortable and shitty. Like my skin went clams and I literally felt myself go pale and my stomach turn. I have huge trauma around smoking and I can’t get over the way it makes me feel when rumours come up around people I look up to smoking. Like I know I have no right to feel like I’ve been betrayed by that idol if they are smoking but I do. And I’m sick of people pointing it out cause i literally feel myself tear up cause it feels like someone I trusted had stabbed me. And idk if it’s the autism or the CPTSD but it makes me feel physically ill. Like I’m not exaggerating when I say it literally made me go pale and feel like I couldn’t breathe. And like it’s not even as if I can try to avoid it because I already fucking do my best to avoid it but I literally can’t because it’s fucking everywhere. And I know I probably sound super selfish and self centred but can you guys just shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself if you suspect an idol of smoking. Like some of us don’t wanna know about that shit and y’all make it impossible to avoid it. I’m so fucking tired. I already feel like everything is going to fucking shit in my life and I’ve already had a fucking breakdown today and I’m so fucking tired and I fucking hate how much this has fucking affected me cause y’all can’t mind your own fucking business and keep your suspicions to yourselves.
You wanna know what really pisses me off, when misogynistic men will start listing issues that affect them to talk over women and then all the things they list are things that effect them negatively because of the patriarchy. Like my dude, don’t complain to us, you made the rule that hurts you why don’t you fix it.
One example that really bugs me is this one:
“But mens mental health is worse and they kill themselves more often” yeah, but you know what? Statistics show that women are statistically more likely to have mental illness, they’re also more likely to attempt suicide. And mens mental health is so bad partly because of the stigma (other men) have created around men having feelings and talking through their emotions. And the reason more men die by suicide even though more women attempt is because our patriarchal society encourages young men to be violent so they are far more likely to attempt suicide in extremely violent ways, but women are pushed to ALWAYS consider other so often attempt to end their lives in much less violent ways for fear of hurting the person that might find them and for fear of making more work for others in the clean up.
It was never ‘social anxiety’ it was fucking pattern recognition, but no I’m the paranoid one for always worrying that people hate me. It’s almost like I have a disorder that’s lots of people hate me for that has a symptom of recognising the pattern of being treated like shit for something I have no control over.
a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints