Rhodeytony - Tumblr Posts

tony: rhodey and i get along perfectly

rhodey: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life

rhodey: i’m doing dry january

pepper: i’m doing veganuary

tony: i’m just trying to make it to february

tony: what’s up sluts? i’m back from jail

rhodey, concerned: sluts?

pepper, even more concerned: jail?

rhodey: why is tony on the counter?

pepper: he likes to be tall

rhodey: hey, do you have a bag i can borrow?

tony: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes and these are specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence

rhodey:

rhodey: literally all you had to do was say no?

rhodey: do you wanna talk about your trauma?

tony: trauma? you mean the reason i’m so fucking hilarious?

rhodey:

rhodey: no

tony: i never brag

rhodey: you once called your face the proof of god's existence

tony: i’ve learned some very valuable lessons from this

rhodey: i’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

tony: death isn’t real and i’m basically god

tony: when have i done anything rash or irresponsible?

rhodey: i keep a list. it’s alphabetized

rhodey: you look like a corpse that was pulled out of the river

tony: wrong. i look like a cool rock star who just od'd in their own pool. big difference

rhodey: i remember sending tony an email that started off with “i hope this email finds you well” and this man responded with “this email finds me hungover”

pepper: *disappointed sigh*

rhodey: tony, up and at'em, time to go

tony, groaning: i don’t wanna go back to school

rhodey:

rhodey: tony, you’re like fifty

tony: why do people believe i’m incapable of doing anything nice ever?

rhodey: experience

tony: i wanna sleep for 50 hours

rhodey: you know that’s called a coma, right?

tony:

tony: that sounds so refreshing, i could go for a light coma right now