So Important - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
so i'll say this once again:
1. yancore is not for abusers. yancore is for people who realize a toxic thought process and vent about it responsibly rather than acting on it.
2. there are thoughts that you should not act on without consent from people involved, and there are also thoughts you should not act on at all in the first place.
3. it is easy for actual abusers to worm their way into our coping mechanism, so if and when it happens, we need to be loud about it.
4. if you condone someone actually acting on thoughts that shouldn't be acted on because you claim they're still just coping, you are just as bad. when it's at the point of actual stalking, manipulation, and harassment, it is not coping.
prosh*ppers dont touch my posts.
not to be native on main but like, it’s everyone’s responsibility to steward the land they’re on. like you’re required. if you’re in america the people who own the land aren’t around to steward it so pick up the slack. learn how people cultivated and cared for the land you’re on. if you’re an animist there’s really no excuse. man, i get disabilities and stuff (i’m disabled myself) but you gotta do something. get some native grasses and toss em into your yard. mow your grass a little higher. leave a little strip that’s completely untouched so native wildlife can take residence there. cultivate a relationship with the land you’re on, not only for magical reasons (and you WILL get magical benefits) but also because the earth is deserving of love and respect in itself.
importance of consent during sex (pls read)
hey guys, so this will be more of a serious post and since i have somewhat of a following on a social platform now where various and all kinds of people will stumble upon, i need to get this out on the forefront. not only for smut readers but for as much people as possible.
i know it’s kinda hilarious coming from a full on smut account like me, but if anything, this will be the perfect opportunity to purely discuss sex and the needed consent that goes with it. it's pretty long but it's very necessary to read through.
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-> consent is VERY important. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. it is KEY in any kind of relationship—no matter what relationship. it’s not some lightweight, sweep-under-the-rug topic and it's definitely NEEDED for me to say this because i feel a lot of people look over it so easily, or just haven't quite grasped the concept very well yet, especially when entering a potentially sexual situation.
in real life, when having sex or about to, you should be able to have a voice, AT ALL TIMES. you should be able to USE your voice to let them be aware of your concerns and needs. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER(S) should be able to ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES— what you want and don’t want, and where you draw the line with certain activities.
boundaries should be set and verbalized clearly, making sure everything is understood correctly and everyone gets the same idea--kinks and all that good stuff included. communication is KEY and i cant stress that enough. everyone should be having fun during sex, not feeling regretful or worthless after.
if you feel somewhat violated, physically or not, you should be able to say it. it can get pretty hectic and wild in the process, so it's important to at least discuss everything with them first and foremost—make sure to listen to each other and reach middle ground. talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING beforehand.
with whomever you're engaging in sexual activities with, everyone involved should be COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE WITH ENGAGING. everyone should be giving their permission and so should you.
if you feel even remotely, the slightest twinge or feeling of anxiety in your gut before or during, even after sex--just any feeling of unsureness or uncertainly, like "hm maybe i should think this over," or "i dont think im ready yet," you should not brush that off, and you should never brush those feelings off. you should be able to voice any concern you have, even if it's the tiniest feeling, with your partner(s). you have a voice and your feelings SHOULD be validated. don't let people talk over that or stomp over you like that.
AND they should be able to accept that and your boundaries, listen to your needs—AT THE VERY LEAST be willing to give you time to think about it, WITH NO PRESSURE. if they pressure you, they're not listening. know what you want and listen to yourself.
if they pressure you into having sex with dumb shit like "oh c'mon, it'll be fun" or "oh, it's just sex...." — nah LISTEN, they are NOT the right people to be engaging in sexual activities with, no matter how tempting it sounds or how horny you may be. they're dumb and immature as fuck— have no sense of establishing boundaries and will have no problem pushing yours. don’t be fucking people who can’t have that at least that bit of respect you.
never feel like you owe them anything either. that in itself is its own red flag. you are your own human being and you have a say, so don't give into that shit EVER. protect yourself. if you feel even somewhat unsafe, you probably are. you should always be 200% comfortable with whoever you have sex with.
now, another point i wanna get across is to not look to or rely on fanfiction like mine or any other smut writers, in general, to use as any kind of depiction of real life sex. NEVER rely on simple fanfic to paint your idea of real life sex. because what we write IS NOT REAL. it is a simple piece of writing and it is ALL FICTION, meaning COMPLETELY MADE UP. please know how to separate smut with reality. take what you read and consume on the internet or social platforms like this with a grain of salt (but do take this message seriously. it's important. consent is and will forever be needed.) fan fiction sex is not in real life sex. please remember that. it’s purely to fuel dirty thoughts and fantasies.
it doesn't matter your age, color, sexual preferences of people, what you identify with--whoever you are, consent is needed and applies to EVERYONE.
-> sex can be an insanely life changing thing for a lot of people, especially first timers, so consent is important. this should be normalized and prevalently talked about, as well as practiced in any aspect regarding the matter. please know this and take it wherever you go with whomever you meet. take this message seriously and don't ever brush your feelings off—but also just as importantly, don’t let OTHERS brush your feelings off.
if you want to do further research, a reliable source on your own search engine should be a good start :))
thank you guys and stay safe fr :)
"but aces and aros can be in relationships"
Yes, I know that, but do YOU know that aces and aros in relationships are still aces and aros? Do you internalize that? Are you aware that we don't just suddenly turn straight, or gay or anything else?
Yes, even demis
Are you aware that a sex repulsed asexual will still be sex repulsed even in a relationship, and so, might never fuck you?
Are you aware that a romance repulsed aro will still be romance repulsed even in a seemingly normative relationship and might not like doing typical romantic gestures and activities?
Are you aware that a sex neutral or positive asexual might not actually be sexually attracted to you at all even if they do fuck you?
Are you aware that a romance neutral or positive aro might not actually be romantically into you even if they are comfortable with typical romantic gestures?
Are you aware that our identities are just as permanent as yours?
Please, reblog
Guys, this fandom is already small and the best way to share works that other people may like too is through reblogs.
If you’re capable of liking, then please reblog as well. Help spread the work you liked to other people.
I see many works that get so many likes yet very few reblogs.
Help writers share their work.
And don't forget to give feedback, it's really helpfull for writers.
AN: No point in liking this post, if you're not gonna reblog it.
I used to think that as long as I repent, and pray and read Quran I'll be okay no matter how much I mindlessly sin. Because as long as I keep coming back I'll be okay. But what I also realised is that the more I engaged in sin the less I was able to sincerely turn to Allah in repentance because sin became a mindless activity. I became less aware that I was sinning and it slowly became a routine. I started praying less and even if I was able to pray all five prayers- they were filled with less and less Khushu and remembrance of Allah and thus stopped giving me peace and became more of a burden. Likewise, reading and listening to the Quran stopped giving me joy and tranquility and I dreaded picking it up at times.
And that's when I realised that you can't fill your heart with things other than Allah and expect to feel the sweetness of imaan. The closer you get to Allah, the easier it becomes to leave sin. But you have to take the first step- because if you don't, then the deen of Allah will sit like a heavy weight on your chest and you will never get to feel it's beauty and serenity.
In the generation and society that we live in today, Islām is not socially acceptable. Being God fearing, religious and committed to your deen will be tough. It will be very hard to even walk outside your house much less to practice.
But this was something that the Rasool صلي الله عليه وسلم taught us from the very beginning, wasn’t it? Where we came from, what we practice, what we believe in, will always be strange and unacceptable in the times today. We will be targeted, we will be oppressed. But our Rasool صلي الله عليه و سلم warned us about this.
He taught us that we do not live to please these people. He taught us to never walk the earth fearing a disbeliever. He taught us that Jannah is our final abode. He taught us to be strong in our deen. He taught us to fear only One. He taught us to never give up. No matter how hard it may be, he taught us to stay as one.
Religion today, it may be hard given the environments we live in. It will be difficult, no one said it wouldn’t. Might I remind you of the hadith which states that “there will come a time where holding on to your Īman would be like holding on to hot coals” {Tirmindhi}. Religion will not be easy.
But our Rasool صلي الله عليه و سلم taught us better than giving in to the way of the disbelievers and adapting to their cultures of the western and modern way. He lived his life for this Ummah, for us to be the best we can.
But where are we now?
When you see yourself, ask yourself if your Prophet صلي الله عليه وسلم would be pleased if he saw what you are today.
Remind yourself before it’s too late. We are only travellers in this dunya.
No, you can’t deny women their basic rights and pretend it’s about your ‘religious freedom.’ If you don’t like birth control, don’t use it. Religious freedom doesn’t mean you can force others to live by your own beliefs.
President Barack Obama
(via barackobama)
Here’s the thing that some people don’t seem to understand about sex & kink. You have to respect boundaries before you get to push them. You have to show people they’re safe before you get to make them feel scared. You have to respect people before you get to degrade them. You have to be normal with people before you get to be dirty with them. You can’t be skipping steps. Treating them like a person always comes before treating them like a toy.
Stop convincing yourself you’re wasting your life away. The time you’ve spent resting and healing was and is necessary. You’re not a waste of a person if you find yourself struggling right now. Healing, recovering, sitting with your pain is foundational. It’s not a waste. You are still whole.
Fate نصيب is so often misunderstood and abused as a concept. We use fate as a salve for our wounded hearts, or a scapegoat for our poor choices/behaviors. But a sound differentiation would be this; If you find yourself in a situation where you can make no sense of painful events and can’t mend your heart, accept life as it is and find solace in knowing it was fate decreed by The Most Compassionate. However, never justify your poor choices/behavior and disregard of others by blaming it on fate. God gave you the freedom of choice; when you go back on your words, when you’re inconsiderate and hurtful to others, that is your choice, it becomes fate because you made it so, not the other way around.
It adds too much insult to injury when you tell someone you hurt “It is fate, that’s how God wanted things to go”. That type of rhetoric causes a lot of pain for those who receive it as it would make them feel that God wanted this for them, that they deserve to be hurt, when in fact they’re hurt because you messed up and are trying to make yourself feel better by blaming it on fate. We accept life’s pain as fate when it is matters out of our control, but when it is our worldly affairs between each other, then life is the way it is because of our own doings.
Mind what you say to others, say only what you mean, for words are the interpretation of our hearts and souls and we are accountable for what we say. Words can start wars or broker peace, they can soften hardened hearts, or harden soft ones. They can light up the world, or darken the soul. Words have meaning, words matter. Own your poor choices, learn from them, apologize and grow; don’t let the pain you caused others go in vain and never allow yourself to blame fate for your mistakes.