So Much This - Tumblr Posts
idk if any young person needs to hear this but when you work at a job you absolutely can google anything you don’t know or ask someone for help. school has you conditioned to think you have to have everything memorized all the time but let me tell you. I am dumb as shit and I am great at my job because it’s not a test, it’s just work. the more resources you utilize the better.
i think that many therians and otherkins are too concerned about being canonical to their kin/theriotype. like for example "i always feel like i am a horse but im not really sure bc i dont like running and dont eat apples and carrots" or "can i be a terrier if im not that energetic and dont really like children?"
like listen. animals are not all the same. if you ever had few animals of same species (at least mammals and birds) you saw that they had different habits, different moods, different preference. even dogs of same breed, even sibling dogs can have very diverse personalities. and not all of them are typical. sometimes theres terriers that dont very active, greyhounds that dont feel like running, anxious labradors, aggressive spaniels, carefree sheperds and so on. maybe theres not too many of them but they exist. it happens and its normal thing. and they are still terriers, labradors and so on.
animals have personalities. and of course they have preferences. you know, humans are also animals. many humans love berries, its perfectly normal and common, berries are healthy and tasty food for them. but some people just dont like fruits, they dont want to eat them, dont like their taste (or texture or whatever). the same goes with different animals.
you always can explore yourself and your kin, its actually encouraged and good thing to do. but if you are sure that you are some specific kind of hound (or any other animal) then you are one and dont feel guilty just because you dont behave right as it described in wikipedia. you are a living animal, not a sample.
I want to reverse the role for my comfort character or f/o. I want to make them feel loved, special, and appreciated. I want to hold them close and tell them how much they mean to me. I want to spend time with them and allow them to open up and trust me. I want to support them when times get hard and celebrate with them when things are greater than they've ever been. I want to be my f/o's safe space, I want to show them true comfort and acceptance, because they deserve it.
Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.
Sade Andria Zabala (via etherealnebula)
Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.
I've seen some posts around that make me feel like there are some people who tend to coddle Edwin a bit too much. (Don't get me wrong, I love Edwin Payne. I have so many similarities with him, and he means a lot to me. And he obviously deserves the world). And, this excessive coddling takes away so much complexity from his character.
He's not perfect (No character in this show is, and that's why they're so interesting as characters). He survived hell, he got himself out of there. He never gave up in these 70 years, not entirely, because if he had given up, he wouldn't have been able to escape. His willpower is so strong that he was able to rely on his intelligence while also being continuously tortured.
And since he's not perfect and has real flaws, he's not the most empathetic person when it comes to Crystal, he gets jealous, he brings hell everytime she starts to say anything about David or her experience. But he's a good person deep down and we obviously know that. And because he displays this behaviour towards Crystal at the beginning, when he finally welcomes her as a part of the agency, it serves as a moment of good character growth, and I love that.
Neither Crystal nor Charles are toxic/assholes for having their fling. And for fucks sake, neither of them knew that Edwin was in love with Charles (because for the love of God Edwin himself didn't become aware of his feelings until ep 5). Are Charles and Crystal perfect? No, like I said, no one is. This is what makes them good characters. It just drives me insane when I see things like "Omg why did they do this to Edwin, he's in love with Charles".
[I have no idea if any of this is coherent or not, I'm not really sober at the moment]
You know what's the biggest difference I've seen in The Dead Boy Detectives fandom compared to Ships the Cat King & Edwin and Edwin & Charles ?
Whenever I read a Catwin fanfiction, Charles never reviews it negatively. He remains a great character with a still strong and good relationship with Edwin.
On the other hand, I have the impression that every time I read an Edwin & Charles fanfiction (because yes I ship them too, even if a little less than Catwin), if there is ever a mention of the Cat King, it will be always saying what a bad guy he was or comparing his attitude with Edwin to aggression (which is false), and it's extremely tiring !
I think I have only come across one fanfiction of these two mentioning the Cat King with positivity.
I really don't understand this hatred that some fans feel towards the Cat King. It's astonishing.
Again, for me it must be due to frustration at the very real fact that Edwin shared the Cat King's attraction to him and quite liked it. Which... would be really immature.
But regardless, the difference in treatment in Catwin fanfiction for the character of Charles and the treatment of the Cat King in Edwin x Charles fanfiction is staggering.
why is it so difficult for ppl to distinguish between "this person is a literal bigot and should not have a platform" and "this person is not actively malicious but has accidentally done a couple harmful things that should be addressed" and "this person has made a few poor taste jokes several years ago but has since grown as a person" and "this person simply just didn't know the 'proper' term for something"
It's a shame that Thomas is forever known for his doubt, because he has one of the most beautiful expressions of faith in the Gospels.
Doubt is only where his story starts. He's the only skeptic of the group because he's the only one who wasn't there at the first sighting. It's easy for the others to believe--they've already seen Jesus. Thomas, by only believing what he sees, is doing nothing less than what the other apostles have done. Yet as soon as he sees Jesus, he expresses faith that goes far beyond what they have shown.
His response to seeing Jesus isn't, "Oh, they were telling the truth." It's not, "You really are Jesus," or even, "You really are alive."
The first thing he says is, "My Lord and my God!"
This isn't just Thomas confirming facts. This isn't him building a scaffolding of observation and logic to work his way to understanding. This is him falling headfirst into the bright light of truth. He instantly understands that this is much more than one man risen from the dead, that the world is far more glorious than even the other apostles believed. His God is standing before him, and he doesn't hesitate to adore.
Thomas believes because he sees, but this belief goes far beyond what he can see. His exclamation isn't just an acceptance of the reality in front of his eyes, but a belief in a reality that is impossible to see or know without the gift of faith that comes from encountering the Risen Christ. The revelation and the faith are divine gifts, and Thomas' response to them is beautiful, and I think he deserves more credit for it.
"why isn't there any good LGBT rep in games??" because you don't use itch io and don't believe art made by smaller teams is worth anything or you think nsfw art is an inherent moral failing. Go play a 20 minute porn game made by a depressed transfem lesbian and then maybe you'll calm down
do you ever read someone’s opinion about something and just go “okay for the sake of our friendship I’ll just ignore that”
in re: “cas knows dean better than sam”
“cas sees dean as a whole person and sam just sees dean’s façade as his big brother slash parent” but like how and where. outside of your fanfiction. season and episode. scene and line. if it’s so obvious and apparent you should have at least 3-5 concrete examples right? “sam doesn’t know dean carried him out of the burning house” yeah but did cas? outside of a footnote in the angelic manila folder they gave him between seasons 3 and 4 so he could better manipulate him and sam into doing heaven’s bidding? like if you’re going to say “cas knows dean better than sam” than you need to show how cas succeeds where you perceive sam to be failing at the very least. but even your perceptions of how sam doesn’t measure up are so warped, blinkered, and moronic that it wouldn’t even be worth much if you could provide the textual evidence, but at least you’d have a semblance of a point. like say anything without going “as an eldest daughter…” “well my relationship with my sibling isn’t…” please say anything without fucking projecting your own self-pitying crybaby bullshit onto your little woobie dean and using the actual canon text of the show. I’m literally begging you.
like the thing of it all is and always has been that you’re so hell-bent on twisting the sam and dean relationship to fit into this narrow and almost entirely inaccurate mold which is the basis upon which you build the entire Destiel Mythos that you literally lose all sense of media literacy. you don’t even miss the forest for the trees, you miss the trees for like, the pretend invisible things you’re seeing in between the trees, the forest is a whole long way away from your current level of perception. because the Destiel Mythos is based entirely on the fact that dean is Not Seen and Not Appreciated and Not Loved and Cannot Be Himself until cas comes along, and that Family (read: sam) Is Only A Burden on Him That He Must Be Freed From In Order to Flourish, so you keep trying to warp the sam relationship into something that is only one dimension of it – and keep ignoring the ways in which dean is seen, loved and understood within it, because you need to keep lying to yourselves that there is a narrative need to emancipate dean from something that he has never wanted emancipation from because it is ultimately a net good for dean in the particular circumstances of their lives. it’s also profoundly unhealthy, codependent, evil and toxic etc. (a lot more dean’s fault than sam’s but I will nawt be getting into all that right now) but that doesn’t change the fact that sam and dean both know and understand and feel deeply that they are each other’s person – that they know the best and love the most in the world. but that – which IS true canon fact – is incompatible with the Destiel Mythos so it must be ignored and all good sense must be thrown out the window in order to do it.
anyway i digress there are two main categories of Bad Thinking that i will be addressing below
childhood/ “parent/child” / blah blah blah
every single thing people are saying in favour of the deeply stupid thesis in the title of this post is proof positive of the very silly form of ‘analysis’ I just described. a few things:
“wah sam didn’t know that dean carried him out of the burning house :( this means that dean withholds things from sam to protect him because he is a PARENT and sam can only know things about him in the context of him being a PARENT to him” – what the fuck are you on about genuinely. first of all reducing the sam/dean relationship exclusively to parent/child is in itself foolishness for so many reasons that I don’t have time for right now. but also, it’s clear that this is just something that happened when sam was a baby that just never came up. in the scene (1.09) where this is brought up, dean is mildly surprised that he or john never mentioned that detail and then states that sam knows the rest of the story (i.e. the actual traumatic stuff) just as well as dean does – which is true, demonstrably whenever they talk about it.
obviously there are some things that happened to dean in their childhood that sam doesn’t know about (or didn’t know about, until told in whatever episode they come up in). equally, there are things dean doesn’t know about sam’s childhood, e.g. the fact that he was so lonely he needed a zanna (11.08). or how dean didn’t remember that sam was friends with barry cook until he mentions it when they go back to their old school (4.13). or about the nature of sam’s relationship with amy pond (7.03). these don’t mean that ‘sam withheld these things to protect dean out of parental love’ lol, it’s just that there are details and events in each of their lives that the other happens to not have been told about.
similarly “sam didn’t even know dean wanted to be a firefighter L” girl did dean know sam wanted to be a lawyer? in 1.01 he’s pretty surprised that sam has a law school interview. the point here isn’t “neither sam nor dean know each other well,” these are minutiae that aren’t relevant to how well you know someone as a whole, and very poorly demonstrate the bad and inaccurate point that dean withholds things from sam the way a parent does a child (on a constant or regular basis). obviously the way they were raised, sam was deemed too young to know about certain things until he got older and dean had to keep that secret, but as shown in 3.08 flashbacks, most if not all of this is eventually revealed throughout their childhood when sam is still fairly young.
or possibly the dumbest one is that “wah sam doesn’t even know that dean reads books L” whenever that was he was also obviously joking because in more serious moments (e.g. 8.14) he admits that dean is smart/a better researcher than he is, literally remembers dean reading to him as a kid (8.21) so like. clam down
one of the extra annoying variants of this type of ‘proof’ covers things that are very clearly novel pieces of information about dean that dean, sam, and the audience are learning about dean in real time. like if you’re actually watching the show to comprehend it as it was intended to be comprehended, instead of funnelling everything through the Destiel Machine until it’s unrecognizable slop that fits neatly into your pre-ordained molds that Make Destiel Necessary In the Narrative (when it actually isn’t, at all) it’s abundantly clear. the top two worst offenders:
“sam didn’t even know that dean is good with kids :( he doesn’t even realize that dean raised him :(” first of all you people need to understand that parentification does not literally create a parent-child dynamic between siblings but I digress – this doesn’t make any sense bro. in 1.03 dean admits he doesn’t know any kids as an adult. dean being good with his own kid brother when they were both kids is to any reasonable person not necessarily linked with him being good with other random kids when he’s an adult. in 1.03 it’s clear that dean himself is a bit surprised that he’s able to connect w/ lucas so well because he’s clearly not dealt with a lot of kids since sam grew up. the whole point of this is that dean, sam, and the audience are all sort of seeing a new side of dean. who again is just 26. after this very early episode, there’s no question from sam that dean is able to connect w kids. sam being a bit surprised by this also has absolutely zero connection with him not understanding or realizing that dean looked out for him when they were both kids – sam is standing there at 22 years of age talking about adult dean and children – of fucking course he doesn’t mean himself are you stupid.
from the very first season, sam is very clearly aware of everything dean ~did for him~ when they were kids, see e.g. 1.21: “Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. […] For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And I don't know, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.”
and 1.06: DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.) SAM: Yeah, I know you are.
and then possibly even more stupidly, the one where it’s like “wah sam doesn’t even know dean can cook :( he doesn’t even know that DEAN was the one making him food as a babe in arms :(” – when sam is surprised that dean made something fairly gourmet and from scratch literally the first time they have ever had a permanent living space with a functional kitchen. in this VERY scene (8.14), dean himself points out that they haven’t had a kitchen before and when sam remarks on the irregularity of him doing serious cooking, he says “I’m nesting”, clearly showing that this is a novel development because they now have a kitchen, and that it’s irregular relative to past behaviour – both of them acknowledge this. because real proper in-depth cooking and making box mac and cheese for sam until he was like 11 and old enough to be left alone are two different things, which sam understands because he’s smart, unlike whoever chooses to make this point. dean never showed significant signs of liking to cook before this, which is what the exchange is about, but he did have to prepare food for them both when sam was too young – of course sam knows he had to, there are childhood memories referred to (e.g. 14.11) where sam is mentioned to literally help dean do the cooking as kids lol (and yes, genius, sam says ‘I didn’t know you knew what a kitchen was’ or something to that effect, but if you think he’s being 100% literal there I have an oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you)
again, obviously there are pieces that sam doesn’t know about dean, e.g. when he’s talking about his response to mary dying in 1.03. but again, Sam is 22, dean is 26, the last time they were in regular contact was when sam was 18-20, these are things that happen when people grow up, they’re able to reflect and share on childhood experiences if they’re close with their siblings as adults. it’s clearly not something that 26 y/o dean wanted to hide from 22 y/o sam. yes sam didn’t know everything about how dean felt when they were young, but that’s equally true in the other direction, and it’s such an irrelevant point in this discussion when, crucially, sam does learn these things about dean mostly fairly early on in the series (i.e. when they’re really not that deep into adulthood yet). cas was also not magically blessed w/ knowledge about dean, he also had to learn whatever it is that he knows, but somehow sam has to know everything about dean from age 7 or it doesn’t count when it’s sam lol.
“sam doesn’t know the One True Dean / doesn’t see through his facades”
the next branch of defending this flawed thesis is invariably that sam has little idea of the fronts and facades that dean puts up and is content to just believe them, whereas cas digs deep and sees the One True Dean that stupid sam always misses. there is nothing in the text that demonstrates this is true. multiple times, we see sam being very knowing of the fact that dean puts up fronts and facades. sam is also knowledgeable of the way dean perceives himself, and – demonstrated in multiple episodes before such sam lines were very poorly recycled and regurgitated into cas’s dialogue in 15.18, but keep acting like that was the first time anyone ever showed that they knew the One True Dean.
Obviously there are times where sam teases dean when he’s being more touchy-feely than usual, but 9.99 times out of 10 (as a conservative estimate in case there's something i'm forgetting otherwise i would say every time) that’s very clearly coming from a place of knowing the real dean vs. the façade he puts up because that’s the whole joke. and it’s allowed to be a joke because they’re siblings and that’s what siblings do lol. esp since sam and dean have touchy feely moments at the end of like every episode.
examples of all of the above off the top of my head (there are more than these, but these are the ones I can think of):
2.02 (about John’s death)
Sam: “I mean this ‘strong silent’ thing of yours, it's crap. […] I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man.”
Dean: “You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to.”
Sam: “No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this. But you have to deal with it, man. Listen, I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're okay.”
2.03 (Sam to Dean, also about John’s death): “You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.”
Note that Dean essentially admits that Sam is right in these two instances in 2.04 bc I know yall have stupid shit to say about john too that has nothing to do with how anyone actually felt about him in canon
3.07 (about Dean’s demon deal – also proven true in later episodes)
SAM: Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
DEAN: I'm not!
SAM: You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you.
DEAN: You got no idea what you're talking about.
SAM: Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.
DEAN: And how do you know that?
SAM: Because I know you! […] Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just […] I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause.
5.18 [Sam figures out what Dean is doing re: his plan to let Michael possess him, tracks him down, and eventually is the catalyst for Dean ‘making the right call’, which he predicts] – e.g.:
SAM: No, you won’t. When push shoves, you’ll make the right call
DEAN: You know, if tables were turned…I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.
SAM: Yeah, well…I guess I’m not that smart.
DEAN: I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?
SAM: Because… you’re still my big brother.
8.14 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18 + sam intrinsically understanding the trials are a death wish for dean): “I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. […] I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.”
10.22 (understanding how much dean has ~done for him~)
SAM: I'm saving my brother.
CASTIEL: You told Dean—
SAM: —I know what I told Dean. Cas, look. I've been the one out there, messed up and scared. And alone. And Dean—
CASTIEL: He did whatever he could to save you.
SAM: Yes. I mean, it's become his thing. I owe him this. I owe him everything.
10.23 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18, x2 – from Sam to Dean): “You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. […] You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good.”
11.13 (Sam understanding exactly how Dean feels about Amara being his ‘deepest desire’, and confirming that it doesn’t make him a bad person)
Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…
Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?
Dean: For starters, yeah.
Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not.
Dean: You know that I want her ass dead.
Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it?
13.02 (Sam perfectly explaining Dean’s psyche to Jack)
JACK: Is that why Dean hates me?
SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.
JACK: Why would he be afraid?
SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.
14.03 [Sam assesses Dean’s psychological/emotional response to the Michael possession; end of episode, Dean confirms that Sam’s assessment was fully accurate]
14.10 [Sam is the only one able to snap Dean out of his weird Michael mind loop by using their code word]
14.11 [Sam figuring out that something is troubling Dean just based on the fact that Dean hugs him]
15.17 (self explanatory at this point)
DEAN: Chuck has to die. He has to! Otherwise he'll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can't live like that, man! I can't live like that! I won't!
SAM: I know you feel like that right now, okay. I know you do. But you gotta trust me. My entire life, you've protected me— from Dad, from Lucifer, from everything. I didn't always like it, you know, but... it's the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on. It's the only thing I've ever known that was true. So please... put the gun away. Just put it away, and we'll figure it out, Dean, we'll find another way, you and me. We always do.
like maybe there are some cas moments w dean along these lines too. i don't know, i don't remember what the guy says or does anymore it's been too many years and he is not memorable. but the point is where and in what capacity and based on what metric other than the amount of bad fanfic you've read does cas exceed sam in these respects.
so basically just. genuinely, what are you people literally ever talking about. go watch the show instead of saying stupid wrong stuff about sam on the hellsites all day. or watch another show (please for the love of god watch any other show this one is absolutely lost on you and it’s such a stupid one too i'm embarrassed for you)
Anyone who talks about how “edgy” they are needs to go take a bath in acid.
It makes it so hard for people to talk about their actual homicidal ideation or low empathy or low guilt or delusions or other stigmatised symptoms of mental illness.
I shouldn't have to clarify that my delusions are actual harmful, prolonged periods of distorted reality or that when I say I want to kill someone I mean that I have dark fantasies where I kill them in graphic detail.
I don't feel empathy. I don't feel guilt. Most of the time, I don't feel anything for other people. It's not quirky. It's not a joke. It's not something you can say you experience only to turn around and criticise the moment I go more in depth.
Stop trying to be cool by imitating mental illnesses. It's pathetic.
Sometimes I think we really do take movies too seriously. Like I’m 100% behind having opinions about them and expressing those opinions but like… when a minor change happens to a series and it ‘ruins the franchise’ or something like that it’s like…
… why are you so strongly invested in this movie?
Why can’t you watch a movie, say you didn’t like it, and then move on?
Why does it have to end in a lecture about what’s ruining films?
How are you not exhausted all the time?
Full offense but I don’t ever want to have to communicate with a machine by speaking to it. Verbally speaking to a machine just feels icky and degrading. I don’t want to describe what I want into the phone prompter. Just let me press 1. I don’t want to address Alexa by name. I don’t even want to waste my precious human language on a chat AI. It is a rock. It is a piece of electrified metal. Do not command me to address the rock with the conceit that it is a human being
Just finished watching “Grace” and every time I watch it I am struck anew by how monumentally frustrating it is. HOW is it possible for Sam to so completely misinterpret her own subconscious feelings and perceptions?? She hallucinates her dad, who spends the entire conversation telling her to go after what will make her happy and she somehow thinks he means to forget about Jack and try to cram herself into some tiny domestic box that she could never, ever fit into??
And don’t even get me STARTED on the Jack hallucination. He literally shows up and calls her “Samantha” (y’know, just like every single guy who’s ever been in love with her does), tells her he’s a safe bet, that he’d never expect her to change her life for him, and that he will always be there for her no matter what. And this is all from her subconscious mind!! Like at some level she KNOWS he loves her more than anything and she still manages to twist it all up in her conscious mind to mean that she needs to let him go and move on.
And when she’s finally rescued and waking up in the SGC infirmary, Jack gives her crap about accidentally calling him by his first name, which I’m pretty sure is his knee-jerk overcompensation for how obviously close he was to losing his shit while she was missing. But it has the effect of confirming everything she’s already decided and WHY ARE THE TWO OF THEM SO EMOTIONALLY INCOMPETENT. I WILL NEVER STOP YELLING ABOUT THIS.