Suga Au - Tumblr Posts

#3 All I Want Is A Break

Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless. 

Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her. 

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung 

Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part 

Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue. 

Word count: 3.8K+

Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it? 

—

It’s strange. I’m standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me. 

“Don’t you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you’ll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don’t know how anybody else is! We don’t know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don’t you ever feel like finding out?”

This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people. 

“Think about it, Y/N,” He didn’t stop. “Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don’t look at me like that,” He rolled his eyes. 

He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue. 

“It’s been too long? Don’t you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don’t know, taking a break isn’t a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…” He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty. 

This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn’t know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. “It’s just a break. Nothing more,” His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. “We spend some time apart from each other. I’ll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break,” He said so easily.

“You’re my best friend.” My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else. 

“And you’re mine. But, listen to me,” he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. “We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I’m not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-” I pulled my hands away. “That’s not what I mean.” He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out. 

Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn’t seeped in yet. “What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I’m not my own person." 

"So, you’re basically saying that you don’t want me in your life anymore?” I frowned.

“Don’t be dramatic,” He sighed. 

I laughed. “That’s literally what you just said." 

"I don’t know why you aren’t getting this.” He raised his voice. “You know, Maria said you won’t get it, and you don’t.” he shook his head, and sat back. 

“Maria said that I won’t get it? You’ve known these people for a month. You’ve known me for years!” I couldn’t stop the tears. “But, it’s not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don’t come at me with, ‘I don’t know who I am/ we have always been together.’ Straight up, tell me you don’t want me anymore.” I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.

“That’s not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!” He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. “Where are you going? You don’t know anyone. We are literally just discussing,” He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine. 

“We aren’t, though. You are breaking up with me,” I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days. 

“It’s a break!” He yelled. “You’re still my best friend! You’ll always be my best friend,” He yelled as I tried to walk past him. “You’ll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?”

“But that’s it, right? You want this place gone.” I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn’t thought this through. “What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives’ even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we,” I gestured between us, “never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don’t erase the past. You move on." 

"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N,” he said, exasperated. 

“What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn’t for you. I’m not an option, Yoongi.” I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.

“It’s not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re an option but haven’t you ever felt the need to want something more?” He questioned. “That maybe there is something worth more out there?” His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again. 

It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn’t believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn’t just degraded me. “All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here.” I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn’t call. He didn’t call me at all. 

—

“He said WHAT?” Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once. 

“He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?” I was so drunk. 

“Man, I’m sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I’m getting the vibes,” Zoya tickled the air. 

“You can feel the vibe?” I looked at her. 

“Yaaa, I caaaannnn!” She slurred. “It’ll be difficult. Very, but no time like now." 

"I gotta figure out my housing situation,” I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here. 

“It’s sorted. That’s why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!” She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender’s eye. 

“Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out,” The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down. 

“Tae, you have an extra room, right?” She asked sweetly. 

“Uh, I do,” He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two. 

“Great! You’re looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!” She declared happily.

“You want me to live with a boy?” I looked at her.

“I’m looking for a roommate?” He questioned as well. 

“Yes, you can’t live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae’s place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology.” Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot. 

“My father owns this bar,” Tae clarified. 

“Potehto Potahto,” Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. “So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it’ll finally be interesting!" 

"Zoya bu–” She kept her finger on my lips. 

“But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!” She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back. 

Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, “Taehyung,” He offered his hand for me to shake. “Zoya and I are school friends. I’m studying management here too." 

"Y/N,” I smiled. “I’ve not seen you before, though!”

“It’s a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don’t think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?” He asked, walking me outside. 

“Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy,” I told him. 

“I think I’m taking that next sem. Zoya, my car’s in the parking lot. Let’s go,” He called for her, and she happily ran towards us. 

—

“This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don’t mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -” It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed. 

“No, I think it’ll be fun. My father’s assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you’ll find it here,” He laughed. 

“Oh nice, what’s your rent?” I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I’d need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job. 

“I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting,” He explained. “But, I’m sure we can agree on something,” He smiled. 

Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone. 

“You haven’t moved,” Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. “I left you right here, like 30 mins ago,” He laughed. I’m sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak. 

“Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he’ll call when he sees my stuff gone?” I asked Tae with tears in my eyes. 

Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, “if he calls, will you pick up?” He asked. I shook my head. “If he calls, will you feel better?” I shrugged because I didn’t know what to feel. It was all happening so fast. 

“I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now,” I couldn’t stop my tears. 

“Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it,” Tae tried, nudging my shoulder. 

—

I kept out of Yoongi’s way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn’t collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction. 

'I hope you’re okay.' 

The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay? 

I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn’t breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.

A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn’t matter that the love of my life didn’t think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb. 

There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. “If you’re not ready to process it, you don’t have too,” She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom. 

Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta. 

'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack’s post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn’t have the need for more. 

I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn’t a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn’t say anything to Yoongi’s parents if it didn’t come from them and that they won’t contact him. 

'All I need is myself’ was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.

—

“Have you spoken to her since?” Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink. 

“No,” He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.

“How are you holding up?” She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn’t really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn’t understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi. 

“It’s only a break. I just need to know who I am,” He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn’t in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious. 

Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn’t respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well. 

His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn’t being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae’s spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much. 

“You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn’t exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -” She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi. 

“My man!” He yelled in his year. “We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!" 

—

"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!” Tae screamed as he entered the apartment. 

“I got three papers and two presentations,” I counted. “You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out.” I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn’t have him around. 

“I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments.” He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night. 

“Yuck. I hate clubs,” I groaned. 

“Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling,” He instructed. 

“Yuck." 

Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side,” he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing. 

“What’s the goss?” I asked. 

“Are you ready? Emotionally?” Miles asked, giving me a warning. 

“Sure,” I laughed.

“That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!" 

I giggled, "you’re very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn’t speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!" 

"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you,” He said, making me choke on my drink. “I’m joking!” He laughed. “You’ll have to tell me a couple more to have me!" 

He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi. 

"I can’t believe you’re taking me clubbing tonight,” Miles groaned as he met us downstairs.“ Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too,” He held my hand, flirting. 

“You guys are the worst!” Tae whined. “We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let’s just go!" 

"I’m surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there,” I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.

“Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by,” He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn’t want to change their dynamic and was hoping she’ll suddenly realise he had been there all along. 

“There is nothing like true love,” I said. 

“Hush,” He pulled me closer. “Let me dream." 

We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn’t eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy,” Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn’t as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn’t help smiling big as she complimented me. 

We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding. 

“What happened-” Zoya’s eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed. 

—

Umm, part 2? I’ll save Yoongi, don’t you worry! 

A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships. 

©mymuseagustd@2023

#3 All I Want Is A Break

Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless. 

Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her. 

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung 

Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part 

Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue. 

Word count: 3.8K+

Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it? 

—

It’s strange. I’m standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me. 

“Don’t you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you’ll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don’t know how anybody else is! We don’t know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don’t you ever feel like finding out?”

This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people. 

“Think about it, Y/N,” He didn’t stop. “Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don’t look at me like that,” He rolled his eyes. 

He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue. 

“It’s been too long? Don’t you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don’t know, taking a break isn’t a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…” He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty. 

This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn’t know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. “It’s just a break. Nothing more,” His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. “We spend some time apart from each other. I’ll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break,” He said so easily.

“You’re my best friend.” My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else. 

“And you’re mine. But, listen to me,” he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. “We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I’m not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-” I pulled my hands away. “That’s not what I mean.” He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out. 

Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn’t seeped in yet. “What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I’m not my own person." 

"So, you’re basically saying that you don’t want me in your life anymore?” I frowned.

“Don’t be dramatic,” He sighed. 

I laughed. “That’s literally what you just said." 

"I don’t know why you aren’t getting this.” He raised his voice. “You know, Maria said you won’t get it, and you don’t.” he shook his head, and sat back. 

“Maria said that I won’t get it? You’ve known these people for a month. You’ve known me for years!” I couldn’t stop the tears. “But, it’s not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don’t come at me with, ‘I don’t know who I am/ we have always been together.’ Straight up, tell me you don’t want me anymore.” I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.

“That’s not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!” He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. “Where are you going? You don’t know anyone. We are literally just discussing,” He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine. 

“We aren’t, though. You are breaking up with me,” I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days. 

“It’s a break!” He yelled. “You’re still my best friend! You’ll always be my best friend,” He yelled as I tried to walk past him. “You’ll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?”

“But that’s it, right? You want this place gone.” I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn’t thought this through. “What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives’ even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we,” I gestured between us, “never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don’t erase the past. You move on." 

"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N,” he said, exasperated. 

“What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn’t for you. I’m not an option, Yoongi.” I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.

“It’s not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re an option but haven’t you ever felt the need to want something more?” He questioned. “That maybe there is something worth more out there?” His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again. 

It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn’t believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn’t just degraded me. “All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here.” I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn’t call. He didn’t call me at all. 

—

“He said WHAT?” Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once. 

“He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?” I was so drunk. 

“Man, I’m sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I’m getting the vibes,” Zoya tickled the air. 

“You can feel the vibe?” I looked at her. 

“Yaaa, I caaaannnn!” She slurred. “It’ll be difficult. Very, but no time like now." 

"I gotta figure out my housing situation,” I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here. 

“It’s sorted. That’s why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!” She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender’s eye. 

“Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out,” The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down. 

“Tae, you have an extra room, right?” She asked sweetly. 

“Uh, I do,” He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two. 

“Great! You’re looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!” She declared happily.

“You want me to live with a boy?” I looked at her.

“I’m looking for a roommate?” He questioned as well. 

“Yes, you can’t live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae’s place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology.” Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot. 

“My father owns this bar,” Tae clarified. 

“Potehto Potahto,” Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. “So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it’ll finally be interesting!" 

"Zoya bu–” She kept her finger on my lips. 

“But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!” She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back. 

Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, “Taehyung,” He offered his hand for me to shake. “Zoya and I are school friends. I’m studying management here too." 

"Y/N,” I smiled. “I’ve not seen you before, though!”

“It’s a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don’t think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?” He asked, walking me outside. 

“Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy,” I told him. 

“I think I’m taking that next sem. Zoya, my car’s in the parking lot. Let’s go,” He called for her, and she happily ran towards us. 

—

“This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don’t mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -” It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed. 

“No, I think it’ll be fun. My father’s assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you’ll find it here,” He laughed. 

“Oh nice, what’s your rent?” I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I’d need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job. 

“I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting,” He explained. “But, I’m sure we can agree on something,” He smiled. 

Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone. 

“You haven’t moved,” Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. “I left you right here, like 30 mins ago,” He laughed. I’m sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak. 

“Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he’ll call when he sees my stuff gone?” I asked Tae with tears in my eyes. 

Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, “if he calls, will you pick up?” He asked. I shook my head. “If he calls, will you feel better?” I shrugged because I didn’t know what to feel. It was all happening so fast. 

“I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now,” I couldn’t stop my tears. 

“Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it,” Tae tried, nudging my shoulder. 

—

I kept out of Yoongi’s way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn’t collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction. 

'I hope you’re okay.' 

The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay? 

I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn’t breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.

A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn’t matter that the love of my life didn’t think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb. 

There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. “If you’re not ready to process it, you don’t have too,” She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom. 

Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta. 

'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack’s post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn’t have the need for more. 

I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn’t a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn’t say anything to Yoongi’s parents if it didn’t come from them and that they won’t contact him. 

'All I need is myself’ was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.

—

“Have you spoken to her since?” Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink. 

“No,” He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.

“How are you holding up?” She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn’t really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn’t understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi. 

“It’s only a break. I just need to know who I am,” He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn’t in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious. 

Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn’t respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well. 

His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn’t being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae’s spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much. 

“You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn’t exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -” She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi. 

“My man!” He yelled in his year. “We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!" 

—

"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!” Tae screamed as he entered the apartment. 

“I got three papers and two presentations,” I counted. “You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out.” I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn’t have him around. 

“I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments.” He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night. 

“Yuck. I hate clubs,” I groaned. 

“Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling,” He instructed. 

“Yuck." 

Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side,” he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing. 

“What’s the goss?” I asked. 

“Are you ready? Emotionally?” Miles asked, giving me a warning. 

“Sure,” I laughed.

“That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!" 

I giggled, "you’re very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn’t speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!" 

"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you,” He said, making me choke on my drink. “I’m joking!” He laughed. “You’ll have to tell me a couple more to have me!" 

He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi. 

"I can’t believe you’re taking me clubbing tonight,” Miles groaned as he met us downstairs.“ Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too,” He held my hand, flirting. 

“You guys are the worst!” Tae whined. “We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let’s just go!" 

"I’m surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there,” I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.

“Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by,” He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn’t want to change their dynamic and was hoping she’ll suddenly realise he had been there all along. 

“There is nothing like true love,” I said. 

“Hush,” He pulled me closer. “Let me dream." 

We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn’t eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy,” Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn’t as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn’t help smiling big as she complimented me. 

We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding. 

“What happened-” Zoya’s eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed. 

—

Umm, part 2? I’ll save Yoongi, don’t you worry! 

A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships. 

©mymuseagustd@2023

#4 The Entire Picture

Everything is going great! The dream project for Y/N was working with Min Yoongi, and it is going great! Until she finds out he voted against her for his future project. 

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader 

Genre: IdolAU / Angst / Smut

Warnings: Nothing much here. 

Word count: 5K+

—

“What do you mean by he is a celebrity? How does it fucking matter? If he doesn’t like my work, he can tell me, right? He is a client, a person. He does this in and out!” I ranted on and on to my partner while the poor guy had been trying to console me for the last 30 minutes. I was blessed to have Si-Hyeon in my life, but at this point, I felt like I had failed him too. “I mean, even doing the project with us now, he isn’t doing us any favours. I have earned this. WE have earned this! So, it’s not like we’re a charity project he has to entertain!” 

“But, he has made his choice, Y/N, and it’ll be fun. I mean, these two projects. They were first making us choose between 7 members of Bangtan and had given us one project to work on, and now they are giving us two groups! ENHYPEN and SEVENTEEN are fucking huge names!” He was always looking at the positive side and was always technically correct. 

“Yes! But it’s not even Bangtan! They are why we are here! And you didn’t even want to do this! We only chose this because I wanted to work with them, and Min Yoongi because he is my favourite! And now, we will work with two groups when you didn’t even want to get in the music space!” 

“Is that what you are worried about? Because I am enjoying this. And we are good with everything we pick up, so I’m not worried about this either. We will have to get maybe 4 more team members for the load, which is great! And we can move on whenever we like, you know that.” He held my hands. “You don’t have to, even for a second, worry that I don’t want this. I will tell you.” 

“He is an asshole! He hasn’t given me one sign that he doesn’t like the work. Even yesterday’s meeting was all positive, and he agreed to everything! Even the idea that we thought was farfetched? He wants to shoot it!”

Meeting with Min Yoongi

“So, I know we have already finalized concept shoots. But I had one more idea to present. And it’s just a concept. It’s different, but I have a vision, and I feel like you can carry it very well, and it will add a layer to what you’re going for,” the meeting was fabulous until this point. He had finalized all the details and added quite a few independently. He was engaged, excited, and had that promising look in his eyes that I had been hoping for till now. Working with someone you have admired is always challenging. There are so many hurdles that can come in, and thankfully, till now, even though we hadn’t worked together before, he was very open to hearing us out and actually building something together for his work. 

“Show me,” Yoongi replied. Always a man of few words and made the girl inside me shiver, but I was a professional. 

I presented the ideas our team had worked on, which we had an inclination that would technically go above board, but I wanted to show him still that he could go in every different direction and didn’t have to limit himself. We had already tried that, but we were still building off the block of his previous work. This would, in some ways, shatter it and give him more space to explore, which is not always what an artist wants when he is catering to his fandom. “Honestly, I’m a fan and know this isn’t on the label. I know it’s a bit far from it, but I believe you can do it, and it will give you that edge I feel you’re trying to get.” 

He observed it for a bit. Going back and forth on the presentation and board I had created for reference, “You think I can pull it off?” He asked after a while. 

“I believe you can do anything,” I responded instinctively. 

He smiled, “let’s do it then.” 

And that was it. He agreed, told us he would make his additions and share them by following Monday and went on to participate in the multiple classes he had slotted us in between. 

Keep reading

#4 The Entire Picture

It’s the dream project until you find out that your favourite idol doesn’t want you there.

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader 

Genre: IdolAU / Angst / Smut

Warnings: Nothing much here. 

Word count: 5K+

—

“What do you mean by he is a celebrity? How does it fucking matter? If he doesn’t like my work, he can tell me, right? He is a client, a person. He does this in and out!” I ranted on and on to my partner while the poor guy had been trying to console me for the last 30 minutes. I was blessed to have Si-Hyeon in my life, but at this point, I felt like I had failed him too. “I mean, even doing the project with us now, he isn’t doing us any favours. I have earned this. WE have earned this! So, it’s not like we’re a charity project he has to entertain!” 

“But, he has made his choice, Y/N, and it’ll be fun. I mean, these two projects. They were first making us choose between 7 members of Bangtan and had given us one project to work on, and now they are giving us two groups! ENHYPEN and SEVENTEEN are fucking huge names!” He was always looking at the positive side and was always technically correct. 

“Yes! But it’s not even Bangtan! They are why we are here! And you didn’t even want to do this! We only chose this because I wanted to work with them, and Min Yoongi because he is my favourite! And now, we will work with two groups when you didn’t even want to get in the music space!” 

“Is that what you are worried about? Because I am enjoying this. And we are good with everything we pick up, so I’m not worried about this either. We will have to get maybe 4 more team members for the load, which is great! And we can move on whenever we like, you know that.” He held my hands. “You don’t have to, even for a second, worry that I don’t want this. I will tell you.” 

“He is an asshole! He hasn’t given me one sign that he doesn’t like the work. Even yesterday’s meeting was all positive, and he agreed to everything! Even the idea that we thought was farfetched? He wants to shoot it!”

Meeting with Min Yoongi

“So, I know we have already finalized concept shoots. But I had one more idea to present. And it’s just a concept. It’s different, but I have a vision, and I feel like you can carry it very well, and it will add a layer to what you’re going for,” the meeting was fabulous until this point. He had finalized all the details and added quite a few independently. He was engaged, excited, and had that promising look in his eyes that I had been hoping for till now. Working with someone you have admired is always challenging. There are so many hurdles that can come in, and thankfully, till now, even though we hadn’t worked together before, he was very open to hearing us out and actually building something together for his work. 

“Show me,” Yoongi replied. Always a man of few words and made the girl inside me shiver, but I was a professional. 

I presented the ideas our team had worked on, which we had an inclination that would technically go above board, but I wanted to show him still that he could go in every different direction and didn’t have to limit himself. We had already tried that, but we were still building off the block of his previous work. This would, in some ways, shatter it and give him more space to explore, which is not always what an artist wants when he is catering to his fandom. “Honestly, I’m a fan and know this isn’t on the label. I know it’s a bit far from it, but I believe you can do it, and it will give you that edge I feel you’re trying to get.” 

He observed it for a bit. Going back and forth on the presentation and board I had created for reference, “You think I can pull it off?” He asked after a while. 

“I believe you can do anything,” I responded instinctively. 

He smiled, “let’s do it then.” 

And that was it. He agreed, told us he would make his additions and share them by following Monday and went on to participate in the multiple classes he had slotted us in between. 

Keep reading

Thinking of You | Yoongi Mood Board 

Genre: Poet! Yoongi, Bright

[Mood Board used in Duality]

                                      “To have a dream, is sometimes scary                                                        To just live like this                                    To survive like this is a small dream to me                                        To have a dream, to grasp a dream                                 To breathe, is sometimes too much to handle”

                                                                                   -Min Yoongi, Paradise 

MOODBOARDS

tongue tech | myg

Summary: Yoongi turns you on with that tongue technology

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: exhibitionism, slight voyeurism, public but not really, fingering, degradation/name calling, dirty talk, orgasm denial, detailed description of oral (female receiving), overstimulation

A/N: it’s 4am, i’m tired so this is barely edited. this is based of the request found here, to whoever requested, i’m so sorry it’s so late! I also hope it’s what you wanted!

Keep reading

HOLY SHIT THIS IS AO GOOD IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM

matilda (pt. 6) | myg

summary: Loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, Min Yoongi, came into your life. You both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. But with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader rating/genre:18+ Minors DNI | brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, slice of life, angst, fluff, smut word count:25.9K warnings/notes: buckle up, it’s a doozy, mention of character death (reader’s father), depictions of grief and guilt, unsupportive/neglectful parents (reader’s mother is a starts-with-a-c-ends-with-a-unt), the paper ring … , oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, hickies, titty sucking, yoongi likes his kisses, someone play lover because yoongi and reader are the best, protective yoongi ;),  seokjin (that’s it), yoongi’s studio is soundproof *wink wink nudge nudge*, unprotected sex, spanking, creampie, i think that’s it but if i missed anything pls let me know, hope you enjoy <3

Keep reading

OMGMGMMGMF ITS OVER !?!?!?!? THIS WAS THE CUTEST SHIT I HAVE EVER READ THIS HAS TO BE MY #1 AU THIS IS GORGEOUS OH MY GOD

matilda (pt. 7) | myg

summary: Loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, Min Yoongi, came into your life. You both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. But with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader   rating/genre: 18+ Minors DNI | brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, slice of life, angst, fluff, smut word count: 17.3K warnings/notes: explicit language, seokjin knows…um, past character death (reader’s father), depictions of grief and guilt, reader is going through it, dinner parties, fleabag reference, hari and tae being cute, tae being a himbo, yoongi is a little freak, stuff under the table, exhibition kink, fingering, bathroom sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, rough sex, choking, hints of impregnation kink (kind of), grief grief and more grief, letting go of grief, mentions of their past (nostalgia alert), new years!, 2521 references ofc, seokjin is many things…., there’s a surprise at the end ;), i think that’s it but if i missed anything pls let me know, hope you enjoy (thank you for coming along on this journey, it’s the end!) <3

Keep reading

How Many Things

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. But what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? In the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.

Tags: Non-Idol AU, Anti-Social Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, Yoongi is an asshole for a minute, some of his friends are big time assholes, insecurities, social anxiety, lots of feelings, Teahyung and Namjoon are sweethearts, crying, jealousy, author's first fic lol.

A/N: HEY HELLO HI!!! This is my first fic that I'm publishing here so pls be gentle 🙏 And if you enjoy, leave feedback, good or bad, I love interactions. This is self-indulgent comfort that I've been thinking about for a long while and I was like ,,,,,, Yoongi got me 🥰🙏 Also this was slightly inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "how many things" from her album EICS go listen if you want the extra angst. So yeah, enjoy!

main masterlist

You began to panic, the music was so, so loud, the clattering of dishes and glasses from the bar, the yelling, all the bodies and their humidity, it was all becoming too much, and to your dismay, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.

You tried to recollect yourself as you began pushing through the crowd, determined on finding him. With every slip past a person, every step and stumble, you grew even more exhausted, but then finally, Yoongi came into view.

He was to the other end of the bar, a smile plastered in all his glory. Whoever he was talking to was clearly making him laugh, and just the sight of him made the tension in your shoulders ease a little bit. You were just about to call out to him, maybe even when fling yourself in his arms, but then-

Then you saw her. The one responsible for the way his face was currently scrunched with a happy grin. They stood close to each other, even as they turned the other way and moved to take a seat together at the bar. They were hand in hand, they looked like the human embodiment of perfection.

You felt your heart deflate as Yoongi pulled out a chair for her, proceeding to signal something to the bartender, the peace sign on his fingers and the pointing between him and her gave you the idea he asked for a drink for both of them. They continued to laugh and talk, and you had to force yourself to look away.

The sight of them made you remember why you hated going out, but even worse, you remembered why you vowed to not get romantically attached to anyone, especially not Yoongi.

The turning of your stomach was becoming hard to ignore, your quick breaths making matters worse. You knew you had to get out of there; with or without Yoongi. So with one last glance at him -who was still engrossed deeply in conversation with the woman next to him, leaning to whisper something in her ear and her reacting in a flustered manner- you fought your way to the door, tears beginning to spill the moment the night breeze greeted you.

As much as you wanted to just run and run and run until your body gave out on you, you knew better than to try and make it back to the dorms by foot.

You sighed defeatedly and pulled out your phone, texting the one person who you knew would be here without fail. As much as you didn't like bothering him (even though he's told you countless times you're not) you knew he'd scold you if you walked home on your own, and a scolding from him was never an enjoyable experience.

Y/N: are you busy rn?

Namjoon: Not currently. Why?

Y/N: can u pls come pick me up

Namjoon: Where are you? Are you safe?

Y/N: yeah, here's my location *📍*

Namjoon: I'll be there in less than 10. Stay put, okay?

Y/N: ok. ty joon.

Putting your phone away, you sat at the nearest bench you found, and attempted to stop the tears from falling further before Namjoon arrived.

But no matter how hard you tried, it was pretty much impossible to not think about why you were out here in the first place. Were you overreacting? Yoongi's allowed to have friends. So why are you so hurt? It's not even like you're together or anything.

In all honesty, you wanted to be mad at them.

You wanted to be mad at him for giving you even the slightest hope that there might be something more between you two.

You wanted to be mad at that girl he was with for being so damn perfect for him, for being everything that you could never begin to come close to.

But deep down you didn't have it in you to be angry at anyone but yourself.

How could you have been so stupid?

You knew that no one would want you romantically, you knew that all he felt for you was pity, that you'd never come first, and yet you still got your hopes up.

You let yourself dream that he wanted you like you wanted him. You believed all those things he said out of pity, all the reassurances and compliments, you knew that they were nothing but him simply being who he is; a naturally kind person.

You knew all of this, so why the hell were you crying? Why were you walking out and aimlessly trying to find anywhere else to go?

'Pathetic' you scoffed at yourself. You were being immature, everything everyone else had said about you was true. You were stupid to think otherwise.

Before you could continue to wallow in your self-pity, you felt a small tap to your shoulder, and you looked up to find Namjoon looking down at you.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" You quickly wiped away your remaining tears and nodded your head, standing up to greet him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you for coming Namjoon." You bowed slightly, trying your best to look well put together. "It's no problem dear. My car's this way, come on."

"You want me to drive you back to your apartment?" You both got in his car and he asked as you put on your seatbelts. "Yes, please. Thank you." He only hummed in response as he began to drive, a soft tune playing on the radio, just loud enough to make it less awkward.

Namjoon knew you probably weren't in the mood to talk, and you were grateful for the silent understanding you guys shared. You weren't awfully close, but you'd shared your own personal memories with each other, and you mutually knew the other would be willing to lend a hand when needed. That's what you liked about him. He was just understanding like that.

The drive to your apartment was short, and even though you lived on the 3rd floor, Namjoon insisted on walking you to your door.

"Hey, take care okay? If you need anything else don't hesitate to call me, yeah?" He said as you reached your door, the genuine look on his face made you tear up once more.

"Yeah. Thank you, Joon." You waved him off as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door as he began to turn around.

You immediately kicked off your heels and went to grab a glass of water. You chugged it down as if you hadn't had a drop of water in days, proceeding to open your fridge and let the waterworks begin as you realized your appetite was gone just seeing the carton of orange juice sitting there with a sticky note that reads, "YOONGI'S!!! DO NOT DRINK >:("

He'd helped you with your groceries about 2 weeks ago, and the orange juice he bought was claimed by him, protesting that he needed "emergency juice" because he was at your apartment so often.

Not wanting to look at his skrunkly handwriting anymore, you shut the fridge door and rested your head in your hands on the kitchen counter.

The more you thought about it, the more prominent the ache in your chest became. He was the one who invited you to that party in the first place. He was the one who wanted you to have fun. He was the one that promised he wouldn't leave your side. Yet here you were, back at the dorms, hugging yourself in attempts to conceal your heartbreak.

If you had gone on your own and just happened to see him there with another girl, then that would have been a different story.

But no.

Yoongi himself told you two nights ago that he was invited to a party, and he wanted you to accompany him as his plus one. And as nervous and hesitant as you were, he spurred you on, encouraging; "No matter what you wear you'll look stunning." And "Everyone will love you" and "I won't leave your side, okay?"

That one stung the most when you thought about it, because not even 15 minutes into the party, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You could tell that most of his friends weren't too fond of you, and you felt ridiculous in the pink dress you wore.

You thought of how you'd taken hours to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not cry at your appearance made you cringe. You tried so hard to look nice, to feel pretty, to feel wanted, and it still didn't work.

You grew angrier, why weren't you good enough? What made it so hard to love you? You practically ripped off your dress, the fabric suddenly piercing your skin, your arms wiping off your already smearing makeup furiously, and you stomped to your bed, plopping down violently before letting out a strangled groan that sounded more like a whimper.

You felt like shit. Your whole night was shit.

Were you overreacting? You had been rude too. I mean, you left without even telling him. You're just as bad, right?

He's the one who left you standing there, Y/N. Your brain going back and forth until you decided that falling asleep would be easier.

"Sooo how'd it go with lover boy last night? Assuming things went well from what I saw." An overly excited Taehyung appeared at your side, a smug grin on his face as he poked your arms. You just shrugged your shoulders as a response, the mere mention of the previous night was enough to deflate your already souring mood.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N! I know you and Yoongi got it on last night!" Taehyung flailed his arms accusingly, as if waddling around would make his statements true. "We didn't get it on, Taehyung. Literally nothing happened. Nothing." You tried to remain calm as you spoke, but your patience was running thin.

"Oh come on Y/N. Yoongi was absolutely plastered this morning and you're gonna try to tell me nothing happened?" He kept on going as he shook your shoulders, and it took everything in you to not slap his hands away.

"Did he get home safe last night?" Your brows furrowed in slight worry at the mention of Yoongi being wasted, and no matter how hurt you were, you had to know if he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. Were you drunk too? I thought you guys left together. Do you not remember?" The lump in your throat was becoming harder to swallow down as Taehyung spoke. You had to be strong. You were not gonna cry over this to your poor friend who's excited.

"You know I don't drink. And, no we didn't leave together. I asked Namjoon to take me home." You hoped he'd stop asking questions, but much to your dismay- "You left with Namjoon?!?! Does Yoongi know?!?!? Did anything happen with him!?" At this point you were on the brink of tears, you hated talking about this.

"Taehyung, please let it go. I just wanted to know if Yoongi got home safely. Can we please just drop it?" Taehyung caught onto your pleading tone and the hurt look in your eyes, and he nodded with his softened expression.

"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to pry." He spoke cautiously. "It's okay Tae."

He shot you another worried look before returning to walking in silence beside you once again.

The rest of the day went painfully slow, your mind too exhausted to deal with walking from one side of campus to the other, and much less to pay attention to what your professors were saying.

Expectedly, you collapsed onto your bed the moment you went back to your dorm. You were gladly going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, but the ringing of your doorbell rudely interrupted you.

You groaned, hoping they'd just go away, but after a few seconds another ring came. You [grumpily] got up, running your hands through your hair in attempt to look somewhat presentable.

As you made your way to the door, you wondered who could be at your apartment, especially now that it was beginning to get late, the sun going down quickly outside.

You hesitantly opened the door, immediately wishing you would've just continued to ignore whoever was at the door once you saw who was standing in front of you.

"Hi, I brought dinner." There Yoongi stood with a soft smile on his face, lifting a brown bag in reference to dinner.

You stood stunned, wanting to say something, but your mind went blank.

"Y/N? You there?" He playfully waved his hands around trying to get your attention.

"Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry. Just didn't expect you to come by."

"Oh, sorry if I startled you. I texted you but you didn't respond, and you didn't answer last night when I called, so I wanted to come check if you were okay." He shuffled from foot to foot, worry evident in his eyes.

"Oh, just haven't been on my phone lately." You looked down, feeling unsure on how to talk to him without showing him your hurt.

"Oh alright. So, we heading in for dinner?" The smile returned to Yoongi's face, and no matter how hurt you were, you still found it hard to say no to him.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Of course."

You opened the door a little further and stepped aside to let him in.

On a normal occasion, dinner with Yoongi would've been the highlight of your day. But now, it was filled with awkward silence and poor attempts at small talk — Yoongi hates small talk as much as you, so you don't know why he's still trying — the tension in the air was hardly going unnoticed.

It wasn't until you finished eating that he decided to just rip the bandage off.

"Are you angry with me?" Yoongi asked, and you almost questioned if he was being serious or not, but the expression he held made you realize that he was in fact clueless about the hurt he put you through.

You weren't sure what to say, so you stayed silent. I mean, it's not like you were angry at him. But you also weren't too happy with him either. Yoongi felt his heart drop as your gaze dropped his own, denying him from an answer.

"Y/N? Did I do something?" He asks from across the table where he's sitting.

For some reason hearing those words from him made the tears you've been holding back so well spill over.

Did he really have no idea? Were you genuinely overreacting? Did you just make everything up in your head?

"Do you really not know?" You tried to push your voice out firmly, but it came out in a broken whisper. You wanted to look at Yoongi, you wanted to see if his face washed over with realization, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"Is this about me getting drunk at that party? I thought you said you didn't mind if I had alcohol." His wording sounded harsher than he intended, but with your already weakened state, you had to hold back from full on sobbing right there in front of him.

"This is about you leaving me by myself in the middle of the party when you promised you wouldn't leave my side!" Your frustration began to take over, did he really not see it? He's supposed to know you better than anyone else.

"Leaving you by yourself? Last thing I heard, you had found yourself a new companion for the night." Yoongi scoffed, his mood souring when he recalls finding out that apparently you'd left with some other guy.

The drinks he'd had were enough to make the night slightly blurry and to make him work a little harder to recall the night's events, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to make him forget how someone had stole you away from him.

"Where did you hear that?" You asked, trying to mask the hurt you were currently feeling.

"My friends" He responded, as if that was supposed to change what you had said.

"Your friends ... the ones you introduced me to?"

"Yeah"

"Your friends really don't seem to like me." You muttered, but Yoongi somehow caught the soft mumbling.

"What do you mean? To me it looked like they were all happy to meet you." His tone remained cold, and you felt more tears forming quickly.

"Well, you weren't there with me when they all laughed at me because I'd lost you in the crowd." You tried to defend yourself.

"They're not like that, I know they aren't."

"You wouldn't know how they acted towards me because you left me alone." You continued on, his face morphing into one resembling more of guilt.

"He left you already? Didn't even last half an hour."

"They haven't even had 1 drink tonight, no wonder Yoongi ran away so fast. Prude."

You winced while recalling how they'd laughed at you when you tried asking for Yoongi, passing it off as a joke when you'd gotten visibly upset.

You softened your tone, sadness catching up with you and replacing your frustration.

"It hurt, Yoongi. You know me better than anyone. You're supposed to know me better than anyone. You know how much I hate parties and bars, how I hate talking to people I don't know, how I don't do things alone. Ever. And you know that if I made you promise to not leave my side it's because I'm not ever planning to leave yours either. Do you know how bad it hurt to be panicking only to turn around and see you having the time of your life? Especially with someone else, when you promised me that night was for you and I only? It hurt, so damn bad."

Yoongi's heart dropped at your words, had it really been that bad for you? How did he not notice?

"I didn't leave with anyone yesterday, Namjoon brought me back to my apartment and left the moment I walked inside that door. You're the one that left with someone else last night, and it wasn't me."

A thick moment of silence engulfs you, and you begin to wait for a snap, or some sort of outburst from Yoongi, but all that comes is—

"Y/N... I- Shit. That's not-" You looked up hesitantly at the sound of Yoongi fumbling his words. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief before slowly moving closer and crouching down in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I swear didn't mean to leave you. I went to go get the drinks, I did. And then when I couldn't find you I went and asked my friends if they had seen you, and they said that you'd gone off dancing with some guy, and so I went to go look for you and I ran into a classmate, which is the girl you saw me with. And I thought, since Y/N's off with someone else, it wouldn't hurt to have a drink with a girl from my class. I wouldn't have left you if I knew that you were by yourself. I'm so sorry."

Yoongi's gaze dropped to the floor as he finished, ashamed for being the root of your tears.

"I should've known better, I- I was just so opposed to seeing you happy with someone else that I immediately rejected the idea of looking for you to avoid the possibility of someone else making your night special. And I know that's not really a valid excuse, not looking for you because I was jealous- of something that wasn't even fucking happening- it isn't fair to you whatsoever. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am." He takes your hands in his and takes a moment to recollect his next words.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Even if it's just the smallest fraction, I want to show you how sorry I am. Anything you want. Please." You paused for a moment, even though your conscience immediately knew what you wanted.

Hold me. Please. Hold me. Nudge your head with mine, lock our pinkies, put your leg against mine, anything. Please, hold me.

With your brain screaming mantras of 'I need to be held', you reached out for him for a second, before your body jerked to a stop.

No. I need him to hold me. I need him to reach out. He needs to initiate- please-

Yoongi's quick to notice your body language, and equally quick to react. "Do you want to be held, sweetheart?" You swear you felt yourself physically start to glow at the sound of him uttering the words you've been dying to hear for god knows how long.

You nod your head and you're so delighted by the aspect of someone- well, not just someone, but Yoongi- comforting you, that you don't even notice the soft whimper that leaves you as he scoots closer to you.

"Words, darling." He says softly, and your body automatically responds with soft chants of "Yes, please, yes Yoongi."

You don't even notice how tears begin to fall against your cheeks again when you feel Yoongi's hands wiping them away.

"C'mere, I've got you baby. Let's go to bed, yeah?" He grabs your legs and wraps them around his torso, before he holds you against him tightly and begins to stand up with you in his arms.

You feel yourself melting at the pet names he's giving you, glad that he's carrying you because you're sure your legs would've given out on you at this point.

You continue turning to mush when you feel how gently Yoongi sets you down once you reach your bed, how he squeezes your hand and asks for permission to lay with you with his eyes, how he reaches for you under the covers and cradles you close, fingers running through your hair softly.

The bliss is only momentarily, broken when your mouth moves faster than your brain;

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?"

"Why did it upset you when you thought I was at the club with someone else?" Your question comes out as a whisper, scared for his response.

"Y/N." He pulls back a little to see your face.

"Yoongi." You reply mocking his tone.

"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" He's secretly glad that it's dark in your room, otherwise you'd be able to see the blush coating his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, and his only response is a huff while pulling your head back into his chest.

"Yoooongiiii" Your whine comes out muffled by his shirt.

"Y/nnnnnn" It's now Yoongi's turn to mock your tone.

"Answer the questionnnn"

You feel the vibrations of his chest as he mumbles something into your hair, and you would've lost it on the spot if you weren't so focused on getting an answer out of him.

"Yoongi I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a child." You chuckle slightly, not wanting to dwell on how you can feel his heart beating rapidly against you before he mumbles once again, only this time louder.

"I don't understand you for shit." At this, Yoongi lets go of you and sits up with a sigh, looking at you for a second before securing his gaze on his hands. You follow suit and sit up as well, only slightly behind him.

"I like you. I've liked you. For a really long while." His voice is so soft and it sounds so timid, you almost think you're imagining it.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Wait- that's not a good way to respond to that. Uhhh- wait." You quickly shift so you're facing him fully.

"Do you mean like as in 'you're a homie' or like as in 'you're not just the homie you're THE homie'? Because before I say anything you would have to clari-"

"Do you think I do this with all my friends?" He cuts off your nervous ramble, grabbing both of your shaky hands with his equally shaken ones.

"What specifically?"

"All of it."

"Wha-"

"The sharing food? The holding hands and carrying you and bringing dinner over and inviting them everywhere with me? The cuddling and the 'baby' and 'doll'? You know how I am about my personal space, and you know how I am about my sleep, and you know how I am about affection. Do you think I do that with just anyone?"

"Well- I don't know, I mean- I don't know what your other friendsh-"

"I don't. You're the only one that gets to see me like this. You're the only one I treat like this. You're the only one I want to treat like this. I like you. And I want to be with you. And that's why I was upset. Because when I thought you were with someone else, it made me feel as if you didn't want the same thing as me."

Before you got the chance to even begin to process, Yoongi catches himself and feels the need to justify: "Obviously if you don't feel the same then I won't like, lash out at you or anything, it'll hurt but I don't want you to feel forced into something more with me than what we have now, it's just you asked me why I was upset and that was the only way I could explain it but I-"

"Yoongi." He's stopped by a soft tug to his shirt and the even softer sound of your voice.

You catch each other's eyes, the flickers of hope and longing between them, and the search of honesty.

"I feel the same."

A sigh leaves his lips and he breaks into a smile before picking you up in one motion and setting you on his lap so you're straddling him.

"Does this mean we're like, um- like,,,,"

"Like...?" His tone is teasing, and you know he knows what you mean.

"Like, y'know- like..."

"I actually don't know...."

"Yoongi." You huff out, your shyness getting the best of you.

"Yes?" His tone is smug, making you groan into his chest.

Working off of pure adrenaline, you mumble quietly: "Like, together."

"What was that doll?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face, making you try and shuffle away from him, but Yoongi's quicker, pulling you back into him with a giggle.

"If you're asking if we're officially dating, then don't even question it baby." He's still laughing, but his tone is firmer this time.

"So I'm taking that as a yes?"

"Fuck yes."

You burst out laughing at his response, and soon enough you've both fallen into a fit of giggles, as well as back into the bed, with you on top of Yoongi, before he flips you over so he's hovering over you.

"Y/N."

"Yoongi?"

"Can I kiss you?"

End.

✨ashes✨

yoongi and jimin, were a couple like no other, pretty unusual, but so much love irradiated from them. sadly, their love couldn’t handle the rough patch that it has been going through for quite a while, so they decided to break things off. maybe just one of them did.

yoongi lately has had flashbacks on how it felt like being next to him.

it felt like every morning was, well, a sunday morning, lazily playing underneath the sheets and stealing kisses to say the least, yoongi enjoyed that just laying, doing nothing with his boyfriend.

yoongi had a very weird personality, really quiet, cold, and a gaze that could kill, but for the ones he loved, he was warm, calmed a pretty chill and cool dude, he just wasn’t ready to show his real self to the world. one of the things that he loved the most was his music, oh his music, hurtful and pretty melodies were filled in his songs, his words could cut you like a knife. 

yoongi was the one with a few words to say but action that would speak louder than words. he loved helping people that were close to his heart. yet still he was scared to give all of himself to others. he didn’t want to get hurt, he didn’t want to hurt others, he didn’t like the idea of depending on someone else or someone else depending on him. his lyrics, the words  he wrote, you could see the reflection of this part of him on them, and it can break your heart.

jimin on the other hand, he was well quite adventurous he had more of an outgoing but still shy personality, he loved to spread love and be positive. he too loved to socialize, he enjoyed hanging with his friends, and keep them very close so he doesn’t feel that lonely.&nbsp, always dragging yoongi out of bed just to go and have some fun with him and some of their friends, or were they really friends.

jimin was the one who supported everyone, he just gave himself to people expecting nothing in return. that somehow makes him hurt quite a lot but he just won’t accept it and keep doing it. he loved writing, quite like yoongi loved the world of literature to express his emotions and maybe not bother others with them. he has a journal a pretty dark one where he writes his worst fears, guilty desires and the feelings he keeps bottled up ones that he’s not quite ready to let go. all his wrong doings, darkest secrets lay there on a piece of paper and he really wants to hold them as longs he can and never let go.

when jimin and yoongi collided and become one, it started a fire.

yoongi always said that their love can be compared to a rose being burned to ashes, pretty but disastrous. it just bloomed very pretty and then it just went downhill for them. their love can’t be compared to others, their love is unique.

️let go 

letting go might be one of the hardest part in the break off of a relationship. spending so much time with that one person can make you feel comfortable and not lonely, once the relationship is done it hurts to know that the one that you love won’t keep on being next to you. 

it’s hard to accept that you’re probably going to live sleepless nights, feel empty bed sheets, and miss those morning kisses you loved so much. not feeling in companion even when you’re alone, it’s probably the worst of all.

-

from the outside yoongi’s way of letting go was kind of off. considering that whatever he was doing, was one of the reasons that him and jimin broke things off. 

he still drunk a lot, he was shit faced most of the time, oh well, that was when he was spending his time alone. around others he seemed pretty chill and collected without a worry on his mind, he looked as if he totally got over jimin, and once jimin saw his character being this way it broke him, more than he was before. 

-

nights with friends, new found lovers and multiple none meaningful  kisses and touches. he was the one now doing it. he was the one giving himself to the lust and pleasure but then again feeling pain and shame for himself. he couldn’t seem to find a route anymore. 

his mind would barely travel through the memories of his old lover, he barely wondered how he was doing, he only thought about his feelings. absorbed by the loud and painful knifes that would hold those memories, he was scared to forget but even more to regret the decision he made.

-

most of the times he wouldn’t dare spend his time alone. he was scared of what loneliness could bring. he spent time with friends, friends that jimin thought were his friends too since he has developed a relationship with them for much longer than yoongi, but then realizing he was wrong, the friends jimin thought were his, only left him to abandon him for yoongi taking yoongi’s side and forgetting all about jimin.

yoongi somehow, never cared for that, he really was an egoist, he really only cared for himself at that point, he somehow just forgot that his old lover was a person, and acted like he was not allowed to feel any pain. yoongi acted like he was the victim, and whatever he did and hurted his old partner had it coming considering he made him feel worst in retrospect. since yoongi learned from the miss information of his friends that for them probably jimin had all the fault. and it consumed him, it consumes jimin. til the point that jimin was so hurt, that he wouldn’t dare speak to yoongi ever again.

apart (min yoongi)

masterlist

word count: 2k

summary: Yoongi is distant and the reader is snarky. Yoongi doesn’t mean to intentionally be an asshole and Reader’s pent up feelings caused by depression result into a fight and devastating time apart. They love each other and they didn’t mean it that way but realizations hurt.

warnings: language. angst. mentions of depression and negative thoughts. both don’t mean to let their feelings get the best of em.

a/n: it’s been a while since i’ve written so i’m sorry if this isn’t the best. perhaps work is also kicking my creative ass ew lol. 

——

“The guys called, I’ll be home later.” Yoongi grinned as he grabbed his keys, the sound of a door closing echoing the small hall.

-

“Kind of busy? Can we talk later?” Yoongi turned his attention to the computer screen in front of him, bringing the hot mug to his lips. “Thank you for the tea though!”

-

“Gotta take this, just a moment.” He put a finger up, requesting a moment as he walked out the door.

-

“Going out, don’t wait up.” He kissed your cheek with a hand on your back, walking away before you could think of a response.

-

“Not now, maybe later?”

“Yeah..” You sighed as you gently crumpled a shirt, tossing it onto your shared bed. The different responses all had the same meaning, leaving the same tired feelings every time. “Just lemme know what time you're coming home, yeah?” You asked with a hint of concern.

“Yeah no problem.” Yoongi grinned as he zipped up his jacket and adjusted the cap on his head. “Might be late. Laters baby” He waved as he grabbed a mask off the dresser. You sighed once hearing the door close.

“Love you.” You said out loud to an empty room.

That same night he doesn’t call and comes home at 4 am. Pretending to slow your breathing- you hear him as he walks from the bathroom to the closet, changing out of his clothes and preparing for bed, he lays down with a heavy sigh, facing away from you. Tears brim your eyes but you don’t give yourself away, he’s tired anyways.

You wondered if he ever noticed how his favorite meals you were forced to put away as leftovers were attempts at grabbing his attention. How you woke up early enough to prepare breakfast on a day where he had more time… only for him to take a sip of coffee and quickly stuff a cut piece of pancake into his mouth before running off. Or how you made sure to clean his small home studio just the way he preferred… even if you didn’t get a thanks. Most importantly, the way you always said ‘I love you’ even if he was already out the door, hoping he’d say it first for once.

You just wanted someone to talk to. A moment of peace and happiness to contrast the dark thoughts you had been having recently. This time of the year was always the hardest for you, and although you didn’t want to fully depend on your boyfriend nor make it his responsibility, you wanted some sort of reassurance or support- no matter how small. You knew he also wasn’t good at talking about feelings but it was an effort you both put in to grow and become better versions.

...But lately his constant absence didn’t help the loneliness you had already been feeling.

-

“Hey baby why don’t we stay in tonight?” You walked over to him as he sat in front of his computer, fingers softly dancing their way up to gently play with the hair near his neck. “I can cook or perhaps order delivery! There’s a movie I know you’ll love!” You grinned, hoping he would agree tonight.

He always did say to come to him when you needed something and right now you wanted his warmth.  

“Kind of busy.” He tilted his head with an annoyed sigh and clicks of the cursor filled the silent room.

You played with your hands and looked to the floor, “I know you're busy and I’m super proud of you but to be honest..” You paused, you felt as if you were about to break down. Every negative emotion was ready to be poured out after being pushed away. “I just want someone to talk to. I’ve been feeling super desperate and negative-“

“Look babe,” He set down his headphones to properly turn his chair around, taking your hand in his, “Feelings like these suck, trust me I know. Take a nap and relax okay? I know how it gets sometimes.” He nodded- continuing, “Why don’t you call your best friend? Maybe have a movie night with some snacks.” He kissed your hand before letting go and turning around to reach for his headphones. “Love you!”

“I already did.” You softly replied but it was no use as you heard the muffled sound blasting from his headphones. Despite hearing those three words for the first time in weeks, they didn’t register. You shook your head and wiped away your tears, walking back into your shared bedroom. With the door closed you slid to the floor, silently crying into your hands.

See? Not even your boyfriend wants you around. You know what you are? A bother! Why don’t you just run away from it all? You’ll go unnoticed.

A few moments passed before you decided to pick yourself up, tiredly wiping away stray tears.

Just suck it up. All you do is annoy. So whiny! Pathetic. This is why he doesn’t love you anymore.

You laid in bed with a straight face as the voices chanted in circles around your mind. Inside your mind you had anger but not towards anyone in particular but yourself, for feeling such a way and wishing you could just push it away.

-

The door clicked signaling to an entry. You heard soft ruffles of clothes from the opened closet before you heard his footsteps.

Why were you not surprised?

“Hey babe, going out. Gonna-“

“Be late I fucking know.” You interrupted and the sounds of his jewelry came to halt, your tone definitely snapping him out of his daze. Didn’t you just say you were busy?

“Pardon?” He asked as he took a few steps in your resting figure. “Is there a problem?” He asked as he adjusted his jacket.

“No.” You shook your head, “None at all. Have fun.”

“What’s up?” He shifted his weight as he crossed his hands across his chest.

“Nothing.” You dryly replied as you rolled away from his stare. “Won’t wait up, they’re expecting you. Go.”

Yoongi cocked his brow in amused confusion. He had never seen this type of behavior from you, completely forgetting your previous actions thinking this moment was completely random.

“(Y/N).” His voice was stern as he stepped closer, the use of your full name only angered you as he stood behind you, your back towards him . “Speak. What’s wrong?”

He waited for an answer but was met with none as you continued to ignore him. Now he wanted to hear what you had to say? Now he found the time?

“(Y/N).”

Silence.

“(Y/N),I won’t ask again. What’s wrong?” He felt himself growing annoyed.

“Then don’t.”

Yoongi stayed in place as you sat up, ignoring his stare and walking out into the living room. What was your reasoning for this type of behavior?

He followed the sound of the tv as you sat on the couch.

“So now you don’t wanna speak? What the fuck is wrong, tell me.”

“It’s nothing, leave me alone Yoongi.”

He shook his head in disbelief as you called him by his name. Even when it came to disagreements you would either use the nickname you gave him or refrain from using his name at all. The tone you used signaled you were angry and he wasn’t having it.

“So you can go on and act desperate for my attention huh,” He asked with a scoff. “But the second I hand it over now you wanna act silent? Grow up. Tell me what you’re on.”

You shook your head and raised your brows in shock as your tongue poked the inside of your cheek. Oh so he did notice. How great for him to say nothing until now.  

“Forget it.” You shut the tv off and stood up once again, making a beeline to the kitchen where once again, Yoongi was hot on your emotional trail.

“You obviously have something important to say so go on.” He pressed as he crossed his arms once again.

“I’m waiting.” You looked up to him with an agitated face.

“Keep waiting.” You bit back as you began to reach for the cupboard above. You hoped to relax by preparing a cup of tea but suddenly saw his hand reach out to close the small door, halting your actions.

“You don’t get to start this and leave it unfinished.” He put his hands on either side of you as you turned around, “I asked you multiple times about whatever fucking issue you have and now you wanna rub me off? I have done the absolute most and this is how you wanna go about it? We’re adults.”

You've done the absolute most? Are you kidding?  Please say it isn’t so! Don’t let it be that he’s about to start using his career against you. Not in a moment like this.

“I don’t want this okay?.” You shook your head with a dry chuckle. Your anxiety grew 10x worse as you began to mentally prepare for the possible fight that was about to start. “I don’t wanna fight with you anymore. You’re unbelievable Min Yoongi.”

“Please enlighten me (Y/F/N)”

“I shouldn’t have to repeat it.”

“Well you’re about to.” He said in an annoyed manner.

With a shake of your head, you returned the same tone. “First off.” You stood before him but his stance didn’t falter. “I’ve been trying to capture your attention for weeks now. You brush me off before I can even get a proper word in.”

“Oh please.” He scoffed.

“I’m not done Min Yoongi. Like you said, if I showed how desperate I was for your attention.. Why didn’t you mention that earlier? Don’t throw it in my fucking face. You know I try to do my part and more to help make up for the stuff I can’t do.”

You began to point a finger to his chest as he raised a brow.

“Third and final fuck of all. You want to know my deal? I’m not happy. I’ve been desperate for your attention because I’m drowning inside. A small conversation or a hug would be very helpful.” You spat. “You noticed my efforts and let me be met with disappointment every time. I feel like you don’t love me anymore. Maybe it’s my mind, but I don’t know. I’m tired. Mentally I feel like I'm self suffocating. Now leave me alone.” Before Yoongi could even process your words, you ducked under his arm and walked past him, trying to reach your bedroom when he spoke again.

“If you’re not happy then why are you here?” His words had hit another chord as you froze in place. “I love you but you know I’m not good with that soft shit. That’s why you can call your friends.”

“Other than tonight, when was the last time you said you loved me?” You pursed your lips as you spun around.  

Silence.

“See?” With a nod, you continued your stare off.

“You haven’t said it either so now what?” He challenged with a shrug.

“I’ve said it everyday Yoongi.” Licking your lips you continued, “But you're always out the door before you can hear me.”

Yoongi’s eyes moved to anything else but your eyes.

He had no reason to doubt your words.

“You don’t get it. Forget ‘that soft shit’ I brought up Yoongi.” With a shake of your head you had hoped that perhaps it would be the end. You knew you had a good reason to be angry but perhaps it didn’t come out the way you intended.

“Like I said,” His voice still low. “If you're not happy, you can leave. I’m not gonna force you since you’re so tired.” He mocked, emotions still rushing.

With exhaustion taking over you let your shoulders fall in realization. “Fine.” And with slow steps you began your walk back into your room, maybe time would help this situation. A way for you to breathe and focus on yourself. Maybe he had a point, focus on just yourself for now and come back.

In Yoongi’s mind he knew you had a point but was too stubborn to admit he wasn’t being the best boyfriend. Seeing your anger brought his out too and he couldn’t blame you.

In reality he really had noticed your efforts but tried to brush em off as clingingness, too afraid to confront the reasons as to why. Of course he still loved you. When would he ever stop? He just hasn't been able to prioritize the important. Even though he knows he shouldn’t even have to consider your position in his life.

If he couldn’t confront his own feelings, how could he help you confront yours?

He stood in the middle of the living room, all the words registering in his mind before the sound of a zipper broke his thoughts. With wide eyes he took quick strides to your bedroom. What was he saying? What was he doing?

“What are you doing?” He asked softly with concern as he leaned against the doorway.

“You have a point. I’m leaving and focusing on bettering myself okay?” Valuables tucked into the suitcase as you walked from drawer to drawer, folding clothes and tossing. “Maybe I just need some space.”

“No wait.” He stood next to the bed, hoping you’d stop your actions. “We can sit and talk, c’mon.” He extended his hand. “I’ll listen to every word okay?”

You sighed as you set down a small stack of clothes into your bag. “It’s fine. We’ll talk later okay?”

“Or you can stop packing and we can talk now?” His suggestion came out more like a question as he began to chew on his bottom lip. “See? I’ll help you unpack.”

Yoongi began to take out the folded articles of clothing and set them back into the designated drawers. With another weary sigh you crossed your arms against your chest. “Please don’t do this.”

“You said you wanted to talk feelings, let’s do that.” His voice was shaky as he stood before you, taking your hand. The realness of the moment kicked in and now he was terrified.

“This started because we didn't want to talk feelings, let’s not start another so that we do.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” He interjected as he took your other hand. “You have a point and I’m sorry I’m realizing that right now. I’ve been busy and I can’t bring myself to confront emotions. I let myself get carried away by them when I should really be listening and supporting the best I can.” He intertwined your fingers as he took a deep breath. “Just stop packing.”

“We both agreed to work on expressing our emotions. This isn’t a new topic Yoongi.” You expressed with sadness as you pulled a hand away to cradle his cheek.

“I know but please-“

“It’s best I go, at least for a bit.” Pulling away, clothes began to make their way back into the suitcase.

“(Y/N)-“

“I’m doing this for myself. Maybe I need a break from everything around me. I can't be myself and give you the best version of me if I’m feeling like a whole different person. Look at what I started. I don’t like this.”

“So you need a break from me too?” With glossy eyes Yoongi began to breathe heavily, the panic now on display before you. Have we truly done it now? 

“I’m not leaving you Min Yoongi.” You held his face in your palms as your thumbs gently rubbed his shoulders. With closed eyes he held your hand, worried. “I need to work on me. This isn’t about you or anything else. I guess I’m running from my emotions but maybe it’s best. I’ll be forced to confront them.”

“Are you sure?” He asked again hoping maybe you’d change your mind.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to distract myself from reality and I can’t do this anymore.”

Surprised you kept a steady voice, you tsked before pulling him into a hug.

“I love you so much. I’m sorry for everything tonight but please wait till I’m home okay?” You squeezed him tighter.

“But what if you don’t? What if you realize maybe I’m the reason and never come back? I’m sorry for everything too. I promise I’ll listen to your feelings. Don’t go.” Vulnerable, Yoongi felt a tear slip down his cheek and onto your shoulder. He was most certain you felt it as it left a dark stain on your shirt.

“Please don’t treat this as a breakup. It won’t be.”

“It sure feels like one.”  He wished there was more he could say.

With tears of your own you pulled away, extending a pinky before him. “Look,” Pulling his own hand up, you tried to move his fingers to mimic yours. “I promise you. I’ll be back. Just wait.”

Looking into your eyes, he admitted defeat. Your stubbornness was something he admired but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t what he despised at this moment.

“Promise?” He shed more tears as his pinky curled.

Completing the action you nodded, “I promise. I love you Min Yoongi.”

“I love you too (Y/N/F).” With that he left himself break, pulling you in once again and sobbing into your shoulder.

That tender moment felt like you both let out everything you had to say but without using your words. If only it was always like this.

“It’s best I go. I’ll text you okay?” You wiped away a couple tears as he let you go with a sad nod.

“I’ll be here waiting.” And with a sad smile he sat on the edge of the bed as you continued to pack. 

Both of your hearts hoped this was the right answer. 

Min Yoongi Text Masterlist 📱

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

•Random Best Friend Texts

Part 1

I Could Use A Hug (Uni!Yoongi Oneshot)

1. “Can you please come and get me?”

4. “How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

20. “I could really just use a hug right now.”

Pairing(s): Yoongi x Reader

Genre: University!Au, fluff

Warnings: insomnia, allusions to depression, signs/symptoms of depression and/or anxiety (if you or someone you know is struggling, don’t be afraid to seek help)

Word Count: 2.3k words

The thrum of rain drops pelting every surface around you dulled your senses and fogged your aching mind. You could barely see two feet in front of you, the darkness surrounding you only broken by the sparse light of the street lamps that became farther and fewer the longer you walked.

You weren’t sure how long you had been walking, hell, you weren’t sure where your feet were taking you anymore. All you knew is that you couldn’t lie there and pretend like everything was alright; like your mind wasn’t tearing itself apart bit by bit for seemingly no reason, and no matter how much you wanted to believe that closing your eyes and forcing it all away would work, in the end, it never would.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had slept, really slept, and the nightmares in your head seemed to enjoy their slow torment of you from the inside out.

You’re friends would tell you you’re in your head too much; your parents that it’s stress and lack of a proper routine. None of them seemed to dig deeper, try and see that you’ve tried every solution you could think of to fix their idea of the problem, and that none of them worked.

Then again, why should you expect outsiders to know all the answers when you can’t even pinpoint the why yourself.

So instead of staring at your ceiling and letting your mind run rampant with negative thoughts that feed off your sleep-deprived brain, you decide that taking a walk in the pouring rain at 2 a.m. alone would distract you from everything going on in your consciousness.

Only now, sitting on a rickety bench on the side of some street you’ve never heard of, illuminated only by the blinking bulb of a street lamp 20 ft away, you realize that there is no way to outrun this. And, honestly, your exhausted from running this marathon alone.

Wiping away the rain streaming down your face, that may nor may not have been mostly tears that you hadn’t even known had started spilling, you take out your phone to stare at the screen.

3:45 a.m.

“I shouldn’t bother him.” You whisper to yourself, although you bring up your contacts and push the one your looking for anyways. As you hold the phone to your ear, the dial tone ringing through your mind, you curse yourself for being so thoughtless.

How dare you call him when he’s just trying to sleep, knowing he’s probably been up late working, and expect him to drop everything for you. He probably won’t even answer the pho-

“Hello?” A raspy voice cuts through your intrusive thoughts and it takes all you have not to breakdown right then and there. You knew he’d already be worried by the time and nature of the call, no need to add in your hysterical sobbing.

“Y/N? Hey... are you okay?” Yoongi asks, and you can tell he’s getting more worried by the second, and you need to hurry up and find something to say before he panics.

Clearing your throat and taking a deep breath, “Can you please come and get me?”

You hated the way your voice cracked and how needy you sounded, having half a mind to just tell him it was a joke or something and hang up.

You hear him shuffling around, no doubt getting dressed and grabbing his keys, already one foot out the door.

“Of course, where are you?” His voice is soft, calming, and despite the weight it lifts off of your shoulders, you can’t help the pang of guilt that rumbles through your chest for dragging him into your bullshit all the time (though he’d tell you it’s not bullshit and he’s happy to help).

Your eyes dart around your surroundings, trying to find an indicator to your location, spotting a street sign a few yards away, relaying the information to Yoongi.

After a few seconds of what you’re assuming is him getting in his car and trying to figure out exactly where you are, he clears his throat, “Alright, stay there, I’ll be there in, like, 15 minutes...20 minutes top,” And then hangs up the phone to begin the journey.

Slowly tucking your phone back into your pocket, you discover that the rain pelting down just a mere few minutes ago has died down to a light drizzle. It’s a cool evening, but not uncomfortably cold, though you felt so numb right now you doubt you’d have noticed otherwise.

Left alone to your thoughts once again, counting down the seconds till Yoongi would arrive to save you yet again from yourself, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander to the first time you met him.

You hadn’t been quite the mess you were now, freshly out of high school, entering uni and the real world with a blind sense of optimism that would soon be crushed under the immense weight of classes and college life that you’d been naive enough not to wholly consider beforehand.

Yoongi had already, as he likes to say it, “cracked the code” of university life, handling the stresses of student life with ease. Knew exactly what classes to take and avoid, which professors he could swindle, what work he could get away with skipping, and avoided campus social life like the plague. As far as he was concerned, this shit was a breeze and he’d be out before he knew it, degree in hand and job secured through suckering some admin for sweet connections.

He’d never guess he’d get swept up in your steep downward spiral into oblivion when he bumped into you, a happy-go-lucky freshie, that night he decided to let Hoseok drag him to some random new student event in the music hall despite his aversion to such poorly planned social nightmares. In all honesty, he would’ve just ignored you if you hadn’t asked him, quite honestly, where you could get a shot of whatever made him so “incredibly apathetic and disinterested.”

No one had ever really approached Yoongi in the 2 years that he’d been there, except for Hoseok and a few other guys that frequented their shared dorm, let alone a girl. He’s not sure if it was your blind boldness or your Arcadian demeanor that drew him in, but he won’t lie that he’s glad it happened, because you ended up being the best friend he never knew he needed (and the same goes for you.)

Yoongi was there through finals, bad blind dates, terrible roommates; everything. That kind of friendship also came with a front row seat to watch as your mental health deteriorated, with no sure fire way to help you, and it killed him inside.

Soon life was filled with insomniatic episodes that could last for days, a bad caffeine addiction, and an impending sense of doom looming over your shoulder every second of every day, and Yoongi felt like the only thing he could do was watch it all unfold. He was scared of saying the wrong thing, pushing you further into the black hole you edged closer to, and he didn’t want to lose the closest friend he’d ever had.

He quickly learned that just being there and listening when you needed it was the one thing you needed, and he happened to be pretty freaking good at it.

You’ve been up for 13 hours straight working on the exact same assignment? Let’s take a break and watch your favorite movie.

You’re roommate kicked you out again because she can’t deal with you being up for 3 nights in a row? Crash at my place and we can cuddle (which ultimately puts you to sleep, even if just for a little while most nights).

You’re crying for the 5th time today and you have no idea why? I’ll put on some calming music and crush you in a bear hug until you have no more tears left to cry.

Yoongi didn’t need an explanation or any answers, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. Admit it or not, he’d come to love every single piece, every inch, every molecule of you, and he hated to see the person he loved in pain.

So getting an S.O.S. call at 3 a.m., knowing that in your weakest moment you needed him and only him, sleep didn’t mean anything to him anymore, in fact nothing else did. You were his top priority and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

And so there he was, in his pajamas and a sweatshirt, hair sticking out in all directions, on his way to a random street across town in the middle of the night with only one thing one his mind. You.

He could tell by your voice that you’d had a rough night, considering he’s been present every other time, and he know the signs when he hears them. The fact that you’d gone so far, alone, in the dark, scared him; you’d never done anything quite so reckless in the time he’s known you, and the the fact that you weren’t in the right state of mind had him picking up the pace, urgent to get to you as quickly (but still safely) as possible.

Yoongi learned early on that even though you had a calm and serene attitude, you took things to heart easily, and the more that piled on you, the harder time you had digging your way out. You were very good at hiding how negatively things affected you, and you always put others before yourself, even when the only person desperate for help was you.

He didn’t really understand how someone so in tune with others feeling and emotions, could be so blind to her own. Sometimes you’d even skip meals working yourself into a frenzy, but still manage to scold him for not eating the proper amount of meals per day.

Sometimes, he thought, it was as if you didn’t see yourself as a living, breathing, person that needed everything you were so willing to give to others. Whether you were selfless or stupid, that was a debate for another time.

Turning down the right street, he finally caught a glimpse of the girl he’d been looking for. Your hair was soaked, along with your clothes, and you stared off at the road with an empty look in your eyes. Parking and shutting his car off, Yoongi hopped out and approached you cautiously, shrugging off his sweatshirt as he went.

Your mind finally broke from it’s thoughts to see Yoongi handing you his sweatshirt. When you didn’t reach out to grab it, he quickly moved closer, pulling it over your head and helping your arms through. When you were situated in the warmth of it, the familiar smell of him flooding your senses, it was then that you finally woke up and looked him in the eyes.

You could tell he was tired by the slight discoloration under his puffy eyes, but the emotion that swirled through them was one you had seen him wear quite often when these things happened; sadness.

Without saying anything, he slowly reached out, taking your frail, chilled hand in his, rubbing it to bring back some warmth. You smiled slightly, though tears still spilled from your eyes.

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” He asked, continuing his ministrations, searching through the storm that raged on in your eyes.

You shrugged, a long, exhausted sigh escaping your lips.

“Not that long.” You lied, and he saw right through it, not only because he could tell by just looking at you, but he knew it’d had to be significantly longer than usual for this sort of thing to occur.

When you looked back at him, he continued to burn through your facade with his gaze till you broke.

“Like... 6...6 days.”

There was a short silence between the two of you as everything sort of sank in. It wasn’t unlike you to survive on a few hours of sleep, or maybe go 2-3 days without it, but never this long. Why didn’t you tell him beforehand? Why didn’t he notice?

“You know,” he begins, bringing your attention back to his face, which softens as he takes in just how tired and sad you looked, “if you need help, any kind, I’ll be right there for you.”

You’re a bit surprised by his statement. You know you’ve been in a bad state for a while, and he knows it too, but the topic of getting help outside of the two of you hadn’t really been discussed. Not that you were opposed to it, it just never crossed your mind.

Your silence seemed to worry him, making him add, “if you want, whenever you’re ready, and if you’re not, well, then that’s okay too....because I’m here for you, not matter what, and-“

Your light giggle breaks him from his tangent, and his mouth turns up in a half smile when he sees you wipe your eyes and turn to him, the life seeming to slowly trickle back into your eyes again.

“Ok.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, slight worry etching back onto his face even though he tried his best to remain as composed as possible for your sake. You nodded, and he gripped your hand tighter.

“Ok, when do you want to-“

“We can figure that out later.” You interrupt, the fatigue cutting through the bit of energy you seemed to gather just being in the presence of the most important person in your life.

He senses you fading, and lifts his other hand to rub your back.

“You know what though?” You say, causing him to tilt his head in question, awaiting your response.

“I could really just use a hug right now.” And without any hesitation, you’re wrapped tightly in his arms, face buried in his chest as his lips place a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you, you know that right?” You mumble into him, and you can feel his body shake a bit with his light chuckle.

“I love you too, now let’s go home.”

————————————————————————————

This is my first attempt at a short prompt imagine type thingy, hope you all enjoy, and if you find any mistakes or have any questions, let me know! Feel free to message me for requests, I’ll try my best to answer if I can! I have lots of drabbles, imagines, and fics planned for this blog so stay tuned!

-Moonie🌙

lilac;

member- yoongi

genre- fluff, au

words- 1,819

summary-  “au where you have a stripe of your soulmate’s hair color on your wrist and if they dye their hair the stripe changes colors” soulmate!au

a/n- !!! im sure you guys have seen this au idea before, but i still hope you like my take on it! btw it is an au, but everything is the same except that people have soulmates. BTS is still famous in this! (this gif was the closest to lilac i could find lol)

The club’s lights hurt your eyes, but that may be the liquor talking.

“How long have we been here?” you ask your closest friend, Euna, with a bit of boredom laced between your words. She only shrugs.

“Like an hour. Why?” she asks while taking a swig of her beer. You sigh and shake your head.

Keep reading

Easily charmed

Yoongi x reader Summary: You knew he was bad news, but that didn't stop you from developing a small crush for the man. You don’t know whether you regret dating Yoongi or not. It was an experience. You had been taught many lessons. Warnings: swear words, illegal activities, drugs and drug dealing, motorcycle stunt (that is dangerous if there are two people on it but anyways) being escorted to the police station for possible drug possession. Genre: angst Word count: 2.4k (2480 words)

~~~~~~~

"I already told you, I don't think it's a good idea to go see him while he's with his friends." You sighed but your friend Jiyoung insisted. She wanted to pass by where she knew her boyfriend and his friends were, but you really didn't want to go.

The reasons were obvious. She'd probably ditch you and you'd know no one else there. Also you didn't really trust her boyfriend. He wasn’t what you would call a good guy exactly. Actually, he wasn’t a good guy at all. You were pretty sure he was closely involved with drugs.

However you couldn't convince your friend not to go so you could only suffer. That day, in your mind, wasn't as bad as you thought it could go, but now as your future self you could only laugh at your past self.

Your friend spotted her boyfriend and his friends along with some girls she mentions from time to time when talking to you. They all already knew the two of you were on your way, so they purposely waited there for you. You approached the group of people and they seemed to have recognized Jiyoung because some of them immediately turned to greet her.

You didn't like how her boyfriend didn't walk up to her to greet but waited for her to go to him, but you didn't comment on it. Hoseok just sat there and smirked as she moved closer to him. She leaned up to peck his lips, whistles coming from his friends, along with some teasing words. When she moved to greet some others of his friends with a handshake, Hoseok glanced at you giving you a small nod and a smirk before turning back to the conversation he had with the shorter male next to him.

Jiyoung appeared next to you, listing the names of the people around you, but you forgot most of them as soon as she finished. The shorter male next to Hoseok was named Jimin and just like the rest of them he seemed like trouble. Some of the women around you were occasionally hooking up with some of Hoseok's friends and others were just hanging out with them for other, obvious reasons.

"Can we just go now?" A tall guy with a dimple said after a while and the rest let our choruses of 'yeah's and 'sure's

You turned to Jiyoung expecting her to greet everyone and leave with you, but she just walked along with Hoseok to his car. She seemed to suddenly remember your existence because she turned to see you standing there all confused about what was going on.

"We're just going to chill at some beach nearby, with beers. Nothing special." she said and your jaw almost dropped. What were you supposed to do? Leave? If yes then did you have to greet everyone or just leave? It's also night and you didn't wanna go home alone. She probably read your thoughts, because she said "you are supposed to come too." You assumed you'd get in the car with her and Hoseok, but at the same time you didn't wanna third wheel. What was more terrifying; third wheeling or going in some stranger’s car or motorcycle?

You saw Hoseok sighing and you read his lips that said "fuck, I forgot about her".  Yeah, Hoseok, you weren't too pleased to be there either.

Some short guy patted Hoseok's shoulder and said something you couldn't make out and you swore you saw Jiyoung's eyes widening. All of them turned to you at the same time making you raise an eyebrow at them. The short guy walked towards you and nodded towards his motorcycle. "You'll come with me," he said and suddenly you had an even worse feeling about all this. For Jiyoung's shake you didn't refuse, knowing how much Hoseok's friend's opinions mattered to her.

You simply nodded as the man got on his bike turning it on, seeing Jiyoung sigh in relief from the corner of your eye. When the man motioned, you got on the bike, your hands reluctantly wrapping around the man's waist.

"What was your name again?" He asked and you barely heard him over the loud engines turning on.  "(Y/n)," you replied seeing him nod.

He didn't speak again for a while, seeing the others start driving to get back on the street. Since he and 2 more men had motorcycles they quickly moved to the front leading the way, the cars following right behind them.

"Hold on tight now or else you'll fall" you heard the man say, before he went faster. Suddenly, he raised the front wheel to the air-what you later found out was named a “wheelie” stunt- as you let out a squeak, your fists tightly holding his jacket not planning to let go any time soon. You heard another guy that was on the motorcycle next to you laugh loudly and cheer, the woman behind him doing the same.

"You okay there?" The man in front of you asked after he stopped doing his stupid stunt. "Yeah, I'm good, I mean, I'm trying," you replied and he chuckled.

Suddenly everyone started moving slower and started acting as if they were all going to their own ways separately, driving away from each other, some stayed behind, others continued moving with the same speed to the front. Before you could even question the man about the odd behaviour of the group he spoke up. "There’s always police somewhere near here so we pretend we are going slow." He explained and you nodded even though the man couldn’t see you.

After a while they seemed to start going faster again and you eventually reached the place you were meant to go. It was a nice quiet beach. Secluded, with no one around except your group. Everyone slowly started getting off their bikes or out of their cars. The man turned the engine off and both of you got off.  You slowly moved away from the man and towards Jiyoung, who took your hand holding you away from the others so they wouldn’t hear. "Everything alright?" She asked and you nodded.

"I'm fine"

"I saw the stunt Yoongi did. Where you scared?" "A little, but I'm fine, so it's okay I guess." You replied and she nodded. She picked up her speed again, walking towards the others, plopping next to her boyfriend and you awkwardly sat next to her. On your right there was no one and you were thankful for that. You'd rather just sit there alone than have to talk with someone and probably embarrass yourself.

Sadly, you weren't lucky for long, because soon the man who you finally knew was named Yoongi sat near you. He didn't say anything to you, instead he continued talking with the guy on his right. You just sat there, enjoying the view of the sea, the small waves creating a nice ambience and the moonlight shining over your big group. There barely were any streetlights making it very dark, but at least that made it easier to look at the stars.

You recognised a few constellations you knew could be visible in that time of the year. You were probably staring for a long time because you felt a nudge from your left making you turn to look at Jiyoung, who nodded towards Hoseok.

"Do you not get bored of looking at the sky for so long?" He jokingly asked and you just chuckled. You turned to look at the sea this time. A few moments later you heard a soft voice in your ear. "You like stars, huh?" Yoongi asked. "Um yeah, I was looking at the constellations that are visible now, but I couldn’t recognize all of them" you said awkwardly.

"Which ones?" He asked and you raised an eyebrow. "Which ones?" You repeated. "Which ones do you recognize and which ones do you not?" He asked and you let out a small "oh" before pointing at the sky.

"I recognize that one, Cassiopeia. But those three stars in a row remind me or Ursa Minor but I can’t seem to find the rest of it."

"That's because that's not Ursa Minor. It's Orion. Those 3 stars are the belt. The two stars on the top and the two stars on the bottom form his body" he said and you looked at him dumbfounded. "Really?" You asked and he nodded with a chuckle.

"Wow, it's the first time I actually see Orion." You thought out loud.

Who could have thought that just a small conversation about stars would make you this charmed. The man had a soft smile on his face while speaking. You'd expect him to smirk and act all cocky, but he was very kind which of course made you feel some type of way. Seeing this side from a man like this.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to Jiyoung when you easily agreed to go hang out with their group again. The fact that you spent most of the time with Yoongi shouldn’t have been a surprise either.

He seemed to be able to hold a conversation with you, despite your not so similar ways of living. You knew he was bad news, but that didn't stop you from developing a small crush for the man.

He was just so charming and his chuckle when you attempted to make a joke gave you butterflies in your stomach.

Jiyoung never commented on how you and Yoongi seemed to often move a little farther from the rest of the group when talking.

Eventually, Yoongi made his move on you and you let him, which lead to the two of you dating. Still, you didn't know much about each other, but you wanted to and blinded by his charm, you saw potential in the man.

One night, again at that beach, the two of you decided to go on a walk along the beach, look at the stars, throw rocks at the sea and see who can throw it further. After you managed to throw one rock further than Yoongi, you cheered loudly and jumped up and down clapping your hands.

"I did it! I beat you! In your face loser!" you said and he laughed, enjoying seeing you act more freely around him. He continued looking at you even after you stopped laughing and you both made eye contact. You didn't speak, just admired each other's beautiful features.

Soon, he started leaning in and you did too. You glanced at his coral lips, not even slightly chapped and so inviting. You both closed the gap, your lips slowly moving against each other's. His hands slowly wrapped around your waist, your hands were resting on his chest and you continued to kiss for what felt like ages. When you finally stopped for air, you pressed your forehead against his and caught your breath.

One of his hands softly cradled your cheek making you look at him, before he leaned in giving you a small peck on the lips, his thumb softly rubbing your cheek.

"God, I wanted to do that so bad," he spoke softly and you almost whined at the sound of his voice. It was probably one of your favorite things about him. His voice, his tone when talking. When the moment was more intimate he seemed to be talking very lazily which you found so hot. When he liked what he was talking about he spoke with more energy and a little faster. Every once in a while he trailed off by breathing in, making a small sound similar to hissing with his teeth. At first you thought it was because it was chilly, but turns out it's just a habit he has when talking.

However, just like all stories, it's not always all rainbows and unicorns. Yoongi was never one of those boyfriends that tried to spend as much time with you as possible. At first you were okay with it because you are a busy woman after all and needed some personal time too. But then Yoongi's behaviour made it seem as if he avoided spending time with you on purpose.

You tried not to get jealous when you knew he was meeting up with women because after all he was just their dealer, so you had no reason to, but you also knew how many of them tried to flirt to get the product on a lower price. You liked to think that they never succeeded in this.

All couples argue every once in a while, so you tried to not let it ruin your relationship, but soon something happened and you can’t lie and say that you didn’t expect it, but you were just hoping it wouldn’t happen.

You had made Yoongi promise not to have drugs on him when he was with you and he had replied that he wasn't planning on doing it anyways. When police asked you to pull over you didn't worry and you just showed the officers your IDs and the papers for the motorcycle and were free to go. But one time, they checked the cigarette pack Yoongi had on him and escorted you to the police station.

The officers thought they found traces of weed in Yoongi's cigarettes and had to check, so until the results came out the two of you had to stay there. Luckily there was nothing in his cigarettes. They were just of bad quality, but that scared you so much you decided to stop what you had with Yoongi.

"I'm sorry but I just can't take this. Feeling as if at any time of the day I could suddenly have trouble with the police. We were lucky you actually had nothing on you this time, but who knows what will happen in the future. You might forget it and I don't want any trouble because of this."

He understood you. He didn't try to change your mind. He just explained you that he couldn't change his lifestyle, at least for now, but he respected your decision to break up with him. To say you were shocked he was so calm about it was an understatement. But you were glad he was. It didn't make it hurt any less though.

Jiyoung told you from time to time about how Yoongi had been. Yoongi asked her about you too. She tried to get the two of you to just text each other every time you felt like hearing from the other, but you never did. You could only move on and by continuing to talk with him, you wouldn't be able to do it.

You don’t know whether you regret dating Yoongi or not. It was an experience. You had been taught many lessons. The most important of them was to not get his easily charmed.

TW: BLOOD // SANGUE  . ▫️BTS - Suga▫️

my honest reaction

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - chapter 1.7

"so eager to be in a headlock again?" "only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble. © 2023 | eleni_cherie

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

Seoul, South Korea

"Here, see?" The golden key was shining under the light of a street lamp as Soyeon held it out for Yoongi. With furrowed brows, he took it from her grip. Inspecting it from all sides. "And you sure it got something to do with your grandfather's secret double life?" Shrugging, she took it back and shoved it into her pocket. "Most likely, it was hidden behind a photo after all." "But you don't have a clue where the lock is.." She shook her head disappointingly. "No, but I'll visit my grandma again next week and hopefully I'll find some clue." He hummed, peeking at her. "Don't do something irrational though." "Like what?" she asked puzzled. "Like going after it on your own." She scoffed at his grin. Getting the implication. "Don't worry, I learned my lesson."

The sky was tinted a dark blue shade when they reached Soyeon's apartment building. It had thankfully stopped raining awhile ago, the clouds having cleared up enough to reveal the crescent in the night sky.

She yawned, rummaging her keys out of her jacket's pockets. "Suddenly I feel so tired, probably 'cause you woke me up so early," she whined, hearing Yoongi laugh behind her. "Don't make such a fuss out of it, it was just once," he said then with a straight face, "Just go to sleep early." "Oh, I will. I'll probably crash as soon as I step foot inside." He smiled softly. It was fascinating how someone so short like her was able to contain so many facettes in her. She could be so strong and fierce, confronting and calling him out and then, then she was also this sweet, almost childlike person who was terribly grumpy in the morning. "Goodnight, Soyeon." He stepped back, walking backwalks. "Call me if there's anything." The cool night breeze made him shiver lightly, and he dug his hands further into his pockets. About to turn around when Soyeon's hand tugged on his biker jacket, making him stop in his tracks. He looked over his shoulder, seeing her eyes sparkling at him with imploration.

"Stay." He huffed a breath, knowing he'd only get more attached to her than he already was and it'd be unfair to both of them. "I don't think -" "Then stop thinking," she deadpanned, her grip becoming firmer along with her gaze. Only for her eyes to soften again. "Just for a day. Stay." Her quiet, pleading tone making his chest clench. Her voice almost cracking at the end as she feared he'd just slip through her fingertips again if she let go. "On monday we'll part company, me going to work and you to Japan, pretending as if nothing had ever happened. So just for one day.. for one day let's pretend being normal.. so you can see how overrated it is."

Yoongi's eyes filled with a strange mix of sorrow and longing at her words. A delusion, nothing more, he thought, but still tempting. To be normal for a day with her, doing things normal people did together before parting ways the day after tomorrow. "And besides.." she spoke up, lips curling into a playful smirk when she came up with another reason, "What if the bad guys show up again?"

He laughed under his breath, knowing very well she wasn't actually believing her words. It was her simple attempt to convince him, the same way she had done back then in Taiwan. It was their little inside code. When she used it, he couldn't deny her anything. That was the unspoken rule between them.

"You said normal, huh?" A rueful smile grazing his lips then, seeing her eyes beaming with hope. And he couldn't refuse anything when she looked at him like this. So he eventually nodded, grabbing her hand that was slowly loosening its grip on him, holding it tightly. "Let's be normal for a day then."

»»»

The next morning Soyeon woke up in the same position she had fallen asleep in. Only Yoongi was missing beside her. With a sigh, she propped herself up on her hand. Rubbing her eyes as she pushed the covers away.

Of course he didn't stay, why was she surprised?

However, 'surprised' wasn't the right word, perhaps 'disappointed' fit better. She was disappointed, but not surprised.

Her eyes fell on the clock on  her nightstand. 11:46am. Well, at least he hadn't made any loud noises when leaving, allowing her to actually sleep in this time and rest. With a grunt, she made her away out of the bedroom, trying not to dwell too much in her self-pitying. It was alright, no big deal. The only man she ever had feelings for, would never let her get too close because of his commitment issues. Cool, cool, cool.

Scratching her cheek, still dizzy from sleep, she made her way to the kitchen. Taking a seat on a chair, she mindlessly picked up a tangerine from the fruit basket in front of her and unpeeled it, sliding a wedge into her mouth. Followed by another.

Maybe she should simply accept things instead of trying forcing something that couldn't be.

She began unpeeling another tangerine when her thoughts got interrupted by a clicking sound. Startled, the tengarine almost dropped from her hand when seeing Yoongi suddenly appearing in front of her. Droplets falling from his wet hair, rolling down his face and bare chest and a towel wrapped around his hips. Lowering her polaroid camera with a grin. "Now I also got a memento."

Her eyes grew round as she was trying processing what he was talking about, taking in the view in front of her. How did he manage coming so near without her even noticing? "You.. are still here?" He frowned at this as he waved the photo in his hand. "Where did you think I was?" She shrugged, slowly munching on another wedge and looking away. "I don't know.." Taking a look on the photo of her morning self mindlessly eating a tangerine he smiled, resting his eyes on her then. Understanding what she was implying. And it'd be a lie to say he hadn't actually contemplated leaving when waking up. However, then he looked down at her sleeping self drooling onto his shirt and he'd realised he didn't want to be anywhere else but there with her in his arms. Even if it was for just one day. The only reason he'd slipped out of bed after all was because he'd needed to use the bathroom.

"No, there wasn't anywhere else I needed to be," he truthfully said then while taking a tangerine himself, unpeeling his fruit and slipping several wedges between his lips. "Good to know," she smiled shyly to which he smiled as well. He coughed then and pointed at her shirt which was another way too large and baggy shirt that looked more like a dress on her small frame and which was secretly driving him insane of how great she looked in it. "You got another one of these?" She looked down, realising he needed something to wear since he didn't have anything but his clothes from the previous day. So she got up and walked out of the kitchen, hearing him trailing behind her towards the bedroom.

"I got a few actually," she giggled and opened her wardrobe, revealing her neatly folded clothes. She stretched herself then, getting on her tiptoes to reach the higher shelves where the large t-shirts were. Managing pulling one out, only for several others to drop on her head. Making Yoongi chuckle amused, picking them up from her face. "Why does a short person like you have such high shelves?" he grinned teasingly causing her to scoff. Playfully shoving the shirt she had drawn out onto his chest. "Got many clothes. And besides.. I'm not that short," she mumbled, his grin only growing wider. "You're tiny." Before she could retort something, he pecked her pout taking her aback. "But I don't mind." Her pout only grew at this, pushing him aside to leave the suffocating presence of his half-naked body. Hearing him laugh behind her and she paused, ready to counter a smart remark when her eyey caught something else instead.

"What's this?"

Her voice small, almost a whisper behind him when he felt her fingertips tracing over a specific spot on his shoulder. Causing him to briefly grow stiff under her touch. Having forgotten about it as he wasn't able to see it there. Out of sight out of mind. 

"It's.. an old scar." "I see that.. but from what?" He shook his head, dragging a sigh as he looked down at the shirt in his hands. "It's dumb and nothing to worry about. I.. I was just young and careless." It was embarrassing to admit it out loud or even look at her. Her fingers retreating from the unevenness on his shoulderblade, sensing it still laying heavy on his heart. "I get it. You don't have to tell me more." He shrugged, fumbling with the shirt in his hands. "It was when I first joined the guys on heists. I didn't pay enough attention once and the opponent took advantage of it. That's it. It hasn't happened again ever since, I made sure of it." She swallowed, her eyes still fixated on the light streak on his pale skin. "Is this why you insisted on Cassandra taking care of my wound?"

He folded his lips, biting down on them when remembering that day. It felt like an eternity ago when he had found her in that restroom stall covered by cuts and bruises. A hot range rushing down his veins at the memory. "I didn't want you to get such a scar as well.." She subconsciously touched the skin under her bangs. Not really able feeling anything, but she knew it was there. The light streak, smaller but similar to his. "Did you also get stitches?" He laughed dryly. "Yeah, but only after a day. Cas was so pissed I didn't tell her earlier. Perhaps if I did it wouldn't have been as visible.." Soyeon hummed. Cassandra's words back then finally making sense to her now.

He felt her arms wrapping around his torso then, holding him tight as her cheek pressed against his spine. And he smiled at her warmth, covering her hands with his. "It's fine. I forgot about it anyway." She quietly let go again. Ready to go back to her tangerines when he suddenly pointed at something in the corner of the room. "Why you got a microphone?" Her eyes followed the direction his finger was pointing at, seeing her little set-up in the corner. He was changing topics, shifting the attention to her. She knew that and still played along. "Ah, to record demos after writing the lyrics." He turned around, shooting her an inquiring glance. "So you can also sing?" "A little bit, maybe," she shrugged, "Just enough for demos."

Yoongi pulled the shirt over his head, slipping it over his torso. Pushing back the strands of black hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. "If you can sing, why didn't you become a singer then?" he wondered out loud, not hiding the genuine curiosity. And it only grew when he saw her acting weird. Her eyes avoiding his as she let out a forced laugh. "Guess I just wasn't pretty enough to become one." Yoongi's brows furrowed at this, lips slightly parting since only more questions arose from her words. "Said who?" Clear irriation in his voice. Soyeon shrugged, pretending being nonchalant about it as she quickly turned around and headed to the door before he could manage looking through her facade. "People, I guess. It really doesn't matter anymore."

And a lump formed in her throat when she sat down at the kitchen table and she grabbed another tangerine. Unpeeling and shoving it between her lips in an attempt to swollow that lump. Although she had overcome it by now and knew the opinions and comments of those people back then didn't matter, it still hurt whenever she was reminded of those times.

She didn't need to look to know Yoongi came closer, eventually taking out a chair and sitting down beside her. The two remaining silent as she passed him a tangerine. Him wordlessly accepting it. He knew he must've hit a nerve when making her bring up this old story. But what upset him more was the thought how it seemed to still trigger something in her. He could tell by her usually sparkly eyes staring dully ahead.

"You know.." he slowly began then, peeking at her before focusing back on his tangerine, "That night back then, the night we met for the second time.." The girl perked up at this and she looked at him, questioning why he'd bring this up now. Watching him slide a wedge between his lips, waiting for him to continue. "You had that black dress on and then you turned around and you looked at me with this intense glare. You know what I thought?" The ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. Feeling warm at that memory. "What?" "That you looked quite different from what I remembered you from our first encounter." She laughed under her breath, shaking her head when remembering her running through the streets of Tainan in 40°C in nothing but her pyjama shorts and shirt. She must've looked insane. "That's what make-up and different clothes do, you know? Make you look different."

The guy huffed a smile at her smartass remark. Glancing at her side-profile then, he took in her every feature that was peeking behind black strands of hair falling onto her pixie-like face. The big brown eyes that resembled those of a curious cat, the cute straight nose that got hidden behind her hands whenever she got shy, the plum pouty lips where she'd stick her tongue out by habit.. How'd anyone think of her of not pretty enough? "You know what else I thought though?" She hummed, munching on the last piece of tangerine. "I thought you looked insanely beautiful." Soyeon almost choked on the fruit in her mouth, coughing frantically. And he patted her back to help her before she eventually managed swallowing it down. Taking a deep breath then, she shot him a lopsided smirk. "You really liked that dress, huh?" "It haunts me in my dreams." His serious tone followed by a wide cheeky grin made her fall into a fit of giggles.

She completely forgot about her gloomy mood, not able to contain her bubbly laugh and he laughed along with her. It had seemed worth confessing this little secret after all, she was smiling again. 

Soyeon bit down her lips then, her laughs simmering down. Giggling lightly to herself then, she stretched her hands over the white table top. "You know what I thought when seeing you that night?" "No, what?" "Well, first of all I thought 'fck, I hope this guy doesn't plan to mug me'." It was his turn to burst out laughing and she smiled widely at this. Enjoying the sound of his laughter and the way his eyes formed crescends before he'd screw them shut. When he wasn't this serious and concerned guy, but just normal and carefree Yoongi. "And what was your second thought?" he asked with amusement. "'Fck, he's hot'." And an anew fit of laughter errupted from his lips and he threw his head back as he held his stomach. And Soyeon playfully hit his arm, stifling a laugh.  "I mean it!" "I know, I know," he said in between as the chuckles became deeper and quieter. Pinching his nose they eventually dyed down and he held her gaze with a gentle smile then. "And I meant what I said as well." Nodding, she gave him a smile as well. Thankful of him reminding her again that those comments from back then didn't matter anymore and perhaps never had. "I know."

And for the rest of the day, they did what they had intended to. Spending the day together, just like normal people would. They played cards, arguing over who won as he kept winning. Making Soyeon complain that he'd be card counting to which Yoongi promised he didn't, although he could. Mentioning the countless times the gang had gambled in casinos around the world. And she'd listen to his stories in awe, asking for more. And they cooked or rather he did and she was just assisting. And they watched a film cuddled on the couch. And they kissed. And they laughed some more. And they kissed some more. And they made out. And eventually, they fell asleep in each other's arms only to wake up again from the nap and do it all over again.

They did everything two lovers would. But they weren't lovers. It hurt. But that was how things were. For the moment, at least. So they were happy about having that one day, where they could at least pretend.

And at the end of the day they laid in bed and he held her in his arms, fingers dancing over her smooth skin in an attempt to sooth his thoughts running wild. Pensive eyes resting at the dark ceiling above them and focusing on the warmth her body was providing under the covers. Feeling her heavy eyes fluttering close with her cheek pressed against his chest.His heartbeat in her ears lulling her. And as she drifted off to sleep, her smaller hand subconsciously gripped his shirt to prevent him from disappearing the next morning, although she knew he would.

"Goodnight, Yoongi." "Goodnight, angel."

»»»

When Soyeon's alarm went off on monday morning she woke up to an empty bed. Only now she knew he wouldn't appear with nothing but a towel and a polaroid camera again. She knew he had indeed left this time. And her chest ached, despite her knowing he had to.

The only evidence of the past weekend not having been a delusional dream was a piece of paper from her notepad she found on the nightstand. Her lips curled into a sad smile when picking it up. Heart full and yet so empty.

"I'll come back, I promise."

»»»

Kyoto, Japan

Jimin opened the door with a beaming face when seeing Yoongi standing there in front of their hide-out. A known tired look on the older guy's face after hours on the road and that in disguise. Even after so many years he still despised it because of how warm it could be under those masks. And then having to take the plane to Osaka and  from Osaka the train to Kyoto. And on top of that he had to leavd Soyeon behind.

Naturally, he wasn't on his best mood. And Jimin could tell but that didn't keep him from giving him a welcoming hug and pulling him inside where Taehyung was currently slurping on a big portion of instant ramen. Brows raising from over the cup when seeing their friend.

He quickly stuffed the last noodles inside his mouth before swallowing and throwing him a wide grin. "Took you long enough, how was it at your parents'?" "Good," Yoongi simply nodded, letting his bag and katana slide from his shoulders he left them aside before joining him on the couch. He didn't feel like going too much into detail but overall it had been good. The whole weekend, in fact. And he had to bite back a smile. "So what's the plan?"

"Well," Jimin appeared from behind them, jumping over the couch's back and landing next to him in a swift move, "We already checked out that dude's mansion last night." "Quite the fancy place," Taehyung mused nodding, "Newest security systems and stuff." Yoongi hummed, tapping his finger on his knee. Nothing that they hadn't expected already. "I'll go check it out tonight as well. You guys got the blueprints?" "Not yet, I'll get them by tonight though," Jimin assured him while picking up his own cup of warm noodles that he had left on the table. Digging into it. "You know I ain't going there on Friday if I don't memorise every corner." Yoongi's gaze wandered between his two friends for a moment, dragging a sigh then. Maybe it was simply his mind being tired, but from the information they had gathered on the men inviting them, this might be a whole different level of their previous adventures. "You think we can make it?"

Jimin and Taehyung simultaneously paused testing, frowning at him. "We always make it." "And besides, we got an advantage." The older guy arched a curious brow at this. "Which is?" Jimin smirked with a wink. "They only know of me and Tae since we were the ones crashing the party." The noodles slid from his chopsticks as he pointed them at Yoongi. "They don't know about you." Taehyung leaned forward, joining in with a smir. "So we still got an ace up our sleeve."

Yoongi's eyes widened, not having thought about that. "You sure about this? They might know about me after all?" "I'm always sure about the things I say," Jimin huffed with mock-offence. Redirecting his attention to his ramen.

And Yoongi smiled with a nod. His eyes falling on the polaroid photo he slid out from his pocket.

Perhaps he'd be able keeping his promise after all.

»»»

next chapter: 1.8 soon

!!! next chapters will probably take a bit longer to get posted since they're the last ones and lots of sht is gonna happen, so it'll take me some time to write/edit them. hope you understand and definitely stay tuned for them !!!

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback! ♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)