Taranza - Tumblr Posts
Day 14: Miracle
I updated Medibang and now they’re putting ads in the canvas drawing part so I thought ‘fuck that I’m gonna get Procreate’ and this is the first fully finished thing I drew. They’re going fishing. Also I like to think Marx uses his hat as like arms? Hands? I got this idea because of Star Allies.
Taranza: Where were you?
Queen Sectonia: Sorry, I was at a funeral.
Taranza: What? Who died?
Queen Sectonia: My feelings for you.
Queen Sectonia: Hey Taranza, I just got back from a shower.
Taranza: That sounds hot.
Taranza: But not in a sexual way though.
Taranza: See, a shower releases cold or hot water onto someone. Normally, I prefer my showers in the middle, but studies have shown that the average female prefers water hot. Thus, because you are in fact female, and you were in fact taking a shower, it must be hot. As in the temperature. Nothing more, nothing less.
Queen Sectonia: ...
Taranza: ...this is not sexual harassment.
Marx: You're such a bitch.
Taranza: Thank you!
Marx: What the fuck?
Taranza: Bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on a tree, a tree is in nature, and nature is beautiful!
Marx: I hope you step on a piece of lego.
Taranza: OH HELL NO YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE!
Taranza, with a sign next to him saying "Rapist": There's only one thing worse than a rapist.
Taranza: *pulls down a paper above the word rapist to reveal the word child. The sign now says "Child Rapist"* Boom.
Marx: A child.
Taranza: No.
Ooh look at us, we're in love and happy and not dead inside. Get fucked, both of you.
Taranza, after seeing a happy couple
*Taranza is in a burning house*
Taranza: This is fine.
Magolor: Fucking Taranza woke me up at 5 AM to tell me he's stuck near a cliff. The edge of the top of the shoppe counts as a cliff now, I see.
Kirby: He was very scared.
Bandana Waddle Dee: Save him!
Susie: He's having a nightmare, help him!
Taranza: Oh no. I fucked up.
Meta Knight: How and why?
Bandana Waddle Dee: What happened this time?
Kirby: Again, huh?
King Dedede: Again? Yikes...
Taranza: TO THE PEOPLE WHO SAID "AGAIN".. YOU ARE RIGHT BUT STILL FUCK YOU.
Magolor: Why isn't eleven pronounced onety one?
Marx: Tooty two.
Susie: Threety three.
Taranza: Fourty four.
Magolor: ...
Marx: ...
Susie: ...
Taranza: ...I have realized my mistake.
Magolor: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Marx?
Marx: No.
Taranza: I do.
Magolor: I know Taranza.
Taranza: I'm sad.
Magolor: I know Taranza.
How do you explain death to a child (more specifically one that’s caused so much of it)?
Marx: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where instead I rob people and scatter teeth on their bed.
Taranza: A dentist.
Susie: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you, but I think you need to call the cops.
Susie: I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous.
Queen Sectonia: Holding a really sharp knife to their neck usually does the trick for me.
Taranza: As a boy I can confirm that this makes me really nervous.
Kirby: What's the cruelest thing ever said to you?
Taranza: Sectonia told me that I should carry a plant around to replace the oxygen I waste...
Comforting Taranza
Susie: Hey, at least you have clouds to look forward to.
Taranza, crying: I-I just wish my kingdom was better...it's all...
Susie: It's alright, it's alright. I believe in you.
Taranza: D-don't patrontize me.
King Dedede: I'm Dedede and I'm from Dreamland so everything's always perfect.
Susie: Oh, fuck off!
Sad? Buy a plant. Happy? Buy a plant. Sick of everyone? Buy a huge carnivorous plant and place it by the entrance of your home.
Taranza, probably