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Penelope: Callisto says “I love you” weirdly.
Cedric: How so?
Penelope: Watch this.
Penelope: *turns around* Callisto, I love you!
Callisto: I’d kill for you.
Therapy is not enough, I need to fight my father.
Callisto, definitely
Once again, if you’re praying for my downfall, please pray harder. Let’s wrap this shit up.
Penelope, always
I’m rich but so fucking sad.
Penelope Eckhart
Have I stabbed you? No? Then I’m being nice.
Callisto, being an absolute mood
Why buy her flowers when you can buy her the 12 foot skeleton from Home Depot instead.
Callisto Regulus, before getting slapped by Penelope
Penelope: Every mental health professional I’ve ever talked to has been like, “You have a lot of self-awareness!”
Penelope: And I’m like, “Yes I actually think that’s part of the problem.”
We must follow the bright circle to where it touches the ground then kick its ass.
Reynold Eckhart, definitely
Accidental consumption may cause poisoning, better drink it on purpose then.
Penelope Eckhart
Reynold: If you think I’m going to compromise my luxurious hair with inferior non-bubblegum scented hair product, think again.
Reynold: And another thing: shut up.
Callisto: Of course I looked both ways before crossing the street.
Callisto: I looked both “gorgeous” and “radiant,” too bad I got hit by that car.
All I ask is for you to get to know me on a deep, intimate level while I resist and obstruct your every attempt to do so.
Penelope Eckhart, every single time she interacts with someone
Callisto: If a beautiful woman disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.
Penelope: Well, maybe you should have principles.
Callisto: You’re right, maybe I should.
Judge: How do you plead?
Reynold: *looks at his lawyer aka Derrick*
Derrick: *mouths “not guilty”*
Reynold: Hot milky.
Derrick: *bangs head against the desk* For fuck’s sake, just lock him up.
Duke Eckhart: My son Reynold was about to hit his head on a bar at the playground, so I told him to duck and he quacked at me.
Duke Eckhart: And then hit his head.
I just offered this girl the world, so I don’t know where the rest of y’all gone live but it can’t be here.
Callisto Regulus, at some point
Penelope: Was I productive this week? No. But was I able to rest and relax? Also no. But was I gentle with myself about all of this? No.
[In a courtroom]
Reynold: *whispering to Derrick*
Derrick: This has nothing to do with the case.
Reynold: Just ask!
Derrick: *sighs and looks at judge* Do you think he’s cute? Be honest.
Finnick: What’s worse than a heartbreak?
Effie: Have you ever woken up and realised your phone wasn’t charging?
Remus: I’ll have the salad; no nuts, please.
Waiter: Of course.
Sirius: It didn’t say it had nuts.
Remus: I’m allergic, so I tell them just to be safe.
Sirius: That makes sense.
Waiter: And for you?
Sirius: Steak; no bees, please.