The Administrator - Tumblr Posts
Whumptober Prompt #14 Tear-Stained
Woooooow guys! Nineteen notes on my last post? Last time I checked anyway. Thank you. Thank you all for the support. I am kinda overwhelmed, my last one was more popular than anything I’ve ever had! And here I am thinking that no one is reading this shit! Thank you all. I adore each and every one of you. You’re amazing. So here’s fourteen- this one is set after Killian’s death in my (Not sure if this will be the name but I need to name this damn verse) Villainous verse. @winedark-whump if you have any suggestions, I’m open to them- fuck if anyone has any suggestions
......
It was raining.
She should’ve figured. Of course it would rain on a day like this. Once she would’ve danced in delight, it hardly ever truly rained here, and she had always treasured the rain when it did come. Whenever it rained, truly rained not the usual sprinkle in the wee hours of the morning followed by thick fog and high humidity, that meant hot chocolate, cuddling on the couch, and her favorite movies. She had always laughed when he put the same movie on for the millionth time, telling him he could pick one for once, and he would laugh back with her and say that he had chosen one. Rainy days she always went to bed with a smile, chocolate lingering on her tongue.
She wasn’t smiling now.
Lying in bed took too much energy. Getting up took too much energy. Breathing took too much energy.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Little one?” The Administrator. “Are you awake in there?”
She found her body sitting up without her permission. “I’m awake, sir.”
The Administrator slowly opened the door, to give her time to become decent she assumed. She wasn’t sure where the strength to sit up was coming from, she certainly wasn’t putting on other clothes, but she did manage a proper salute.
“No need, little one.” The Administrator waved her off, sitting on the edge of her bed. “There is no need for such formalities in this trying time. How are you feeling?”
She couldn’t answer him. Though, she supposed to tear stains all over her face, stained into her pillow, her disgusting, tattered uniform she had yet to change out of was answer enough.
“I understand, my dear.” The Administrator said kindly. “You have no obligation to speak if you don’t want to.”
“Why…” She barely managed a whisper, but she said it, “are you here, sir?”
The Administrator sighed. “I wanted to check up on you. No Sidekick should lose their Hero so early. And Soldier practically raised you, which I know makes his loss so much harder.”
She flinched away from him.
“Like I said, no obligation to speak.” The Administrator repeated. “But listen closely, little one. This feeling, while you must suffer it, as all those with hearts do, are what separates us from Villains. They’re incapable of feeling grief, as that would mean they had felt love.”
She flinched, ducking her head. “Wonder told you.”
“That you called yourself a Villain because you feel what happened was your fault?” The Administrator said, not unkindly. “Yes, Wonder told me. Little one, you have no need to think such terrible things. The fact that you feel such grief, that means you are capable of feeling a great love. You must turn that love you had for Soldier into something for the betterment of all humanity. Heroes cannot be biased towards any minority or majority, and that love must be given freely. This grief will soon become a source of strength for you.”
She curled into a ball, her joints cracking from stiffness. She did not want strength right now. She wanted Killian.
“If there is anything you need, my dear, please let us know.” The Administrator said at last, realizing she was not going to answer him. “We will do everything we can to rectify the situation. Call is no matter what you need, whether it is help with rent payments, or a school tutor. Nothing is too small or too big to call us for.”
But they couldn’t. What she needed they couldn’t give. She needed Killian back. She needed a warm voice, strong hugs, gentle forehead kisses, blinding smiles, and so much laughter her heart might burst. That was what she needed. That was what she was lost without.
Fresh tears streaked down her face. She went to wipe them away, to not show such weakness in front of The Administrator. He stopped her hand.
“There is no shame in crying, little one.” The Administrator said kindly. “I have outlived many friends, even family. Grief is not something to be ashamed of. It is not a weakness. Not yet, anyway.”
She furrowed her brow at him.
“If left too long in the grieving process, grief turns to hate.” The Administrator explained. “Hate leads to vengeance. And Heroes do not seek revenge. Revenge is something only Villains are capable of.”
“I’m not a Hero.” She sobbed.
“Not yet, you’re not.” The Administrator said. “But soon you will be. Soldier’s death is a trial he could never have prepared you for, and you are facing it. Take heart in that. There is no need for you to submit to state testing, I have already submitted your trial as complete.”
She stared at The Administrator. Very, very few Heroes didn’t have to go through state testing. It was all there, the final step to become a Hero. Psychological profiles, physicals, tests of strength and speed and everything in between, there were nine levels of passing Paradiso. Some Heroes were excused from certain tests, only if they had already proven themselves, but no one had been excused from them all.
“Soldier would have wanted you to become a great Hero.” The Administrator said. “It was often the only long term goal he spoke of. He had no interest in finding a wife, or a husband. He only wanted you to become the Hero you were meant to be. I intend to honor his final wish.”
“Thank you, sir.” She said, wiping away tears. “I won’t let you down. I won’t let him die in vain.”
“I know you won’t.” The Administrator said. “I only have one order for you, little one, until your new Hero orders come in.”
“Yes, sir?” She asked.
“Get out of those disgusting clothes and take a shower.” The Administrator said, a touch of teasing in his voice. “Wonder must sleep in here as well, until we catch Soldier’s killer, and you can be released to your old apartment. And right now, my nose feels very bad for her.”
She blushed. “Yes, sir. I’ll do it immediately.”
The Administrator nodded and walked out the door.
Ever since Killian died, she hadn’t had the strength to get up, let alone stand in a shower. But if the Administrator wanted her to clean herself up, she was going to do so. She had already let Killian down, had already failed him. She wasn’t going to fail anyone else, ever again.
they're so funny
I promised you all a crossover! Hope this piece made in collaboration with my dearest and loveliest wife @vakoedelveys satisfies your (post)Halloween needs...
DO WE WANT BATHTUB GAME!?!?!?!?
LIKE. REBLOG. NOW.
I didn't know i needed this to make me feel better.
every tf2 character complimenting you (i spent a few hours making this help)
The Administrator.
This is a redraw. Two years between each painting. Wild
The admin explains the system of STEM in TEW2 to Ruvik (hey this series is fun to play)