This Isn't Good - Tumblr Posts
Sun filters through the window,
Like a bright beacon entering the room.
Chirping birds create a beautiful and welcome symphony.
Children are playing outside happily,
They’re giggling and smiling,
Innocence surrounding them.
Flowers are in bloom,
Bright like fireworks everywhere.
Trees are providing shade for people lounging under them.
The world outside is so bright and lovely,
But sitting inside,
Darkness surrounds my brain and all my thoughts.
My head is against me,
And everything is wrong.
Am I as imperfect and broken as my mind makes me feel?
Is every mistake I make one that will haunt me forever?
Why does it feel like my room is closing in on me?
What is wrong with me?
Can someone fix me?
Why does everything feel empty and hollow?
Do my friends really care?
Or are they just lying to me?
Hanging out with me because they “love having me around”
Why can’t all my thoughts just leave me alone?
Leave me alone.
Please.
I don’t want to feel this anymore.
Every thought is negative and painful,
A perfect contrast to the beautiful outside.
The Egg wanted Tommy gone and before in Tommy's chat someone asked if Sam could be infected by The Egg. When Jack agreed to go to Ant's party Ant said "Sam and Bad will be happy"
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.
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Fuck
The first thing I’ve ever made in GIMP: “The Sekhmet Dialectic” - needed to process some spiritual concepts artistically.
hi. i dont go here but I wanna talk.
imagine being Josef Newgarden, 13 and after trying a few sports and not being too good at any, you starting karting, you immediately pick up four titles. you love it. you travel to europe and become the first american to get a Formula Ford Festival title. Europe is harsh to you and in 2011 you return back to america. Something about the home soil fuels you and you win an Indy lights championship. you get into indycar the next year.
meanwhile, across the world in New Zealand, Scott Mclaughlin becomes the youngest driver to win a Supercars race. He breaks the record for most wins in a single season. He's dominant, simple. He's just like you in every way possible. Little do you know, your future best friend is watching you become Penske Perfect. He's watching and rooting for you from an ocean over.
In 2021, Scott comes over from Supercars. You werent ever too close to anyone on the grid- but you two click. You were so used to keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, that you let him in.
in 2021, you have a best friend. you both know that being teammates and friends won't work for long. you both can bet on it long before it happens. in 2022 you create a youtube channel and start making little videos with Scott. People like you guys, they think you're funny. You're not just Josef Newgarden, 2x Indycar champion and Penske driver, but also you're 1/2 of Bus Bros. This is the closest you've ever been with a teammate on this level. It's an emotional dynamic. It carries on into 2023 with a little less passion. Heartbreak in inevitable. Some days you wanna make sure he's okay, other days you hope he suffers. You wanna break his leg- quick and aggressively, he wants to beat your skull in. You'll film a Bus Bros episode that weekend and pretend you didn't openly say that in an interview. You mindlessly believe it will be resolved, that you two can fix it when it falls apart. Scott is a realist, saying you're a limited duo. You're both too egotistical to believe you're wrong is what he says.
2023 wraps up and it's your worst season finish. What happened to Penske perfection? You were bigger than the whole sky, a demon on ovals. You were everything Penske represented. Scott's making you soft. What happened to your perfection that people said was impossible? Scott is not only your best friend, but your teammate. And he's starting to win. He's the friend you held as close as your enemies until you realized he was just like them. Coming into the 2024 season, you unfollow everyone. Rumors are spiraling and you end Bus Bros, quietly taking down the merch site. Scott refuses to answer questions besides saying to ask you about it.
It's the streets of St. Pete, Penske has an illegal car- you all know about it. You and Scott get a 1-2. Podiums are publicity, everyone has their eyes on you. Be as cordial as you can, you'll crop him out of your photos later on instagram.
The cooldown room is more tense, Scott refuses to sit by you. The cars illegal, they figure it out in Long Beach. The St. Pete 1-2 gets stripped away from you. Scott sees things level and you're hungry only for another win, to be seen as the winner you once were. The Barber press conference is an embarrassment for you, you're spilling your guts on a white table while cameras flash. Scott admits to it and takes subtle digs at you in an interview. (x,x)
Scott takes pole position at the 500. Scott leads the most laps. But you won. Your hunger motivated you and here it is, the proof you're better. You lost your best friend for it. you're the first back to back Indy 500 race winner since 2001-2002. People are calling you the villain. This is how it ends. Scott makes fun of you during your speech, "I still love you my bus bro." And thats how it ends. You're still cropping eachother out of posts. You seldomly talk. It's not over though, and it never will be.
Oh and Will Power is there.