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TW: Vent Post ⚠️

I just realized we're so close to 200 followers... But I have no idea if we can actually reach that milestone. I've lost so many mutuals and followers out of nowhere, and it still keeps happening. Every time I gain a new follower, I lose 3 more. Sometimes my follower count decreases after I gain new followers??? It's just painfully comical, seeing my follower count fluctuate randomly. I swear this must be some sort of technical glitch or something. Because there's no way people are actually unfollowing me as I gain new followers, at the same time?? Something's definitely not adding up. The first couple of times this happened, I didn't mind it as much. But then it became a consistent pattern. Losing around 3 followers for every new follower I gain, so that there's never a net increase in followers. The graph is always a goddamn plateau, if I'm lucky. And the saddest part is, I have to follow people back if I want to ensure that they keep following me. This is why I feel incredibly hurt when a mutual randomly unfollows me for no reason. Another really interesting thing I've noticed is that, my follower count only "increases" when p0₹n bots start following me. 🙂 I wish I was kidding. And then it goes back to the previous count after they're blocked and reported. But this never happens when I gain actual, human followers. Then the follower count decreases, like I mentioned before. It's so frustrating.

People say this is the site where follower count is insignificant, but I don't think that's true. Every other day I come across posts celebrating the event of hitting a particular follower milestone, and their follower count is always MASSIVE. I'm talking 1k+ , sometimes even 10k+ . And then I think of my pathetic little blog which hasn't even managed to reach 200 followers in 2 fucking years. I feel miserable. It seems like only the blogs that literally spam-upload posts are the ones that have thousands of followers (by "spam-upload" I mean posting like, 20-30 posts in a minute??? 50 in half an hour??? And they always seem to upload stolen posts with irrelevant, clout-chasing tags 💀) It's so unfair, because this implies that you have to blog like your life depends on it, in order to gain followers. You can't be inactive for a few months, because then you'll lose all the engagement. This isn't me begging for followers btw, just a vent post because I felt like screaming into the void.

Can a Youtube employee that actually cares (if there is one...) please kindly get the spamming bots TO FUCK OFF!?! HONESTLY, I'M READING THE COMMENTS ON FILM THEORY AND BIG BUSINESSES USING AI ILLEGALLY AND ALL I SEE IN THE REPLIES IS

"MaTpAT iS lEaViNg I'M hAvInG a PaRtY mY tHeOrIeS aRe BeTeRRR"

Stupid. FUCKING. BOTS! IN A VIDEO ABOUT AI THEFT AND BIG BUSINESSES USING PROPAGANDA TO EASE THE AVERAGE PERSON INTO ACCEPTING AI ART AND ACTORS!

I don't know what's worse; the disrespect to the topic and MatPat, the irony of the situation, or how there don't seem to be any comforting facts in the videos about AI theft. We're all just frogs boiling, like he said.

I'm probably overreacting. It's just there so much shit going on in my life right now that I don't feel comfortable talking about. I don't want to trauma dump on my friends. I don't want to pour all of my emotions out on some post that takes hours to make and nobody even notices.

I'm just going to go see if I can distract myself because it's all I can do. Barely works, but it's the only thing I've been able to do for months without getting snapped at for DARING to have emotional responses to a shit situation.