No Empathy - Tumblr Posts
Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day
If you’re a stereotypically “good” person because of being abused then that’s great
If you’re a stereotypically “bad” person because of being abused then that’s great
Your response to trauma is valid, your response to abuse is valid and you don’t owe it to anyone to be inspirational.
I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.
Sometimes I find it great that I have low/no empathy and "doesn't care" that much about people since I don't have to spend energy trying to manage feeling other people's emotions and use said energy to do something actually substantial, such as actually fucking helping said person
Sometimes it's just... kind of horrible... Everyone expects you to have a "normal" amount of empathy and puts words into your mouth about how you're supposed to "feel other people's emotions" and "feel grief over other people's suffering" or else you're a "bad" person. Like yeah, I am helping this person because if I have to hear them complain one more time I'll fucking lose it, but I still helped them. Does that make me a bad person? No, get a fucking grip
It’s so hard to be a good person in the eyes of society when every time you try you “aren’t doing it right”.
I’m not doing good things “for the right reason”.
I’m not loving “in the selfless way”.
I’m not caring “with the right definition”.
They wonder why we just give up and it’s because nothing is ever fucking good enough.
Whenever anyone vents to me or gets really emotional a lot my first thought is that they’re doing it for attention. They’re dramatising it to make it all about them because that’s what I would do.
And then when they keep doing it it’s like okay you made your point can you shut up now?
I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.
Y’all be grateful for consequences because if there were no consequences I would just do whatever the hell I wanted with no moral compass whatsoever
Anyone who talks about how “edgy” they are needs to go take a bath in acid.
It makes it so hard for people to talk about their actual homicidal ideation or low empathy or low guilt or delusions or other stigmatised symptoms of mental illness.
I shouldn't have to clarify that my delusions are actual harmful, prolonged periods of distorted reality or that when I say I want to kill someone I mean that I have dark fantasies where I kill them in graphic detail.
I don't feel empathy. I don't feel guilt. Most of the time, I don't feel anything for other people. It's not quirky. It's not a joke. It's not something you can say you experience only to turn around and criticise the moment I go more in depth.
Stop trying to be cool by imitating mental illnesses. It's pathetic.
Inheritance
My eldest brother has a substance abuse problem. A few years ago my parents had to bail him out of a huge financial hole he dug for himself and his wife.
My dad was furious. FURIOUS. Contemplating-going-to-the-lawyer-to-change-the-will kind of furious.
I am not a fan of my brother, but I talked my dad down anyway. Dad was angry, and that's a terrible time to make big financial decisions.
When I informed him that Dad was considering taking my brother out of the will and I had talked him out of it, he was so angry with me. "You just fucked yourself. You fucked us!"
He wasn't a fan of my brother either, but he just thought he was a bit of a dope. He didn't really know/register my dislike for him or the reasons for it. So he just wanted me to sell my brother up the creek so I'd get a part of his inheritance. And by "I" we know I mean "we" which we know means "he."
He makes me so sick.
It gives me big ick when someone wishes they could feel nothing.
Be glad you can feel your emotions.
Man I'm fxcked up...
I'm trying attempting to be here for someone who's hurting
N crying but it's harder than I thought.
For someone with no sympathy & empathy doing this is exhausting and extremely hard.
I can't take all the crying seriously.
I'm trying my best to not laugh a awkward laugh....
I really like getting reactions out of people idrc what the reaction is be it scared, worried,shock,disgust etc. I just like it since i don't feel a lot, too see how people react.
My little sister is a bit h a stupid one at that
She's so fucking annoying she ain't sh t she tries to act like me be like me and it infuriates me she can fuk off
Trying to act like a fighter or violent person pssh fucking hilarious she's a pussy if she actually got into a fight she'd piss herself scared
I've fought since I was a child my mom literally had to put a lock on her bedroom door (not proud /just for reference)
I've fought a grown ass man when I was just a teen and won the fight granted I spent
a whole whopping month in juvenile jail but whatever (my fault)
I'd at this point i'd love to fight her and put her in her rightful place (bloody n on the ground)
I've done it with one sister I'll do it again
If she doesn't stop disrespecting our mother and being a cvnt I will definitely do so gladly
ik this was the implications of the post but i wanna js type it out anyways that it feels really shit sometimes to live in such a shameful world that is so focused on everything being right.
i know sometimes the need to be good and "worthy" and all the other fun shame npd/hpd shame things in my head is exaggerated, but there truly is so much external shame. like where do we think it came from?
i was ranting to my friend about feeling inadequate in my kindness. that i felt shame for being selfish about it. that the fact i loved the attention from being kind made me feel so shit about myself. so horrible. that i was disgusting for it. that im a fraud. that i felt that i constantly had to mask because i either had to be kind or be shunned from society. that i had to be kind or the scum of the earth. that the fact i had to mask with kindness meant that i was actually the scum of the earth. because "truly kind" people didn't have to mask.
and that my kindness wasn't good enough. that i wasn't doing enough. that i was not good enough in my kindness because it was imperfect, or that it was because it was too inherently selfish which made it shit. or not worth it.
they told me that they literally did not care where my kindness came from. just that i was kind to them mattered. and that i was doing enough! that imperfection isn't bad! that kindness isn't going to inherently be good or perfect. that its okay to want thanks and praise for it. that i have needs too.
that i have needs too.
and that i did not always have to mask. kindness goes multiple ways, i can offer kindness. and people can be kind to me back when i am being a bitch. that i did not always have to hide the bubbling anger and hurt inside me. (because i matter too) (that i do not have to earn kindness) (that i do not have to earn kindness).
they also brought up that i was kind in so many ways that could make an impact. selfish or not. kind to the six year old kid that i'm going to grow up to hate. kind to the kids i've adopted in year 7 that i sometimes resent. kind to my friends who are complicated and hard and who deserve love no matter how much sometimes my brain gets so tired of loving and hurt from loving that it takes the feelings away again, that it makes me want to kill them sometimes. kind to my horrible ex, where its so much easier to be kind to them than my other friends but also so much easier to hate them forever. kind to them, always.
(they are truly the nicest to me) (and they make me better for it)
they told me that my kindness was a choice. that i chose over and over again to be kind. even if it was probably more of an inconvenience. even if it is the bare minimum, the fact that i choose it over and over again is so cool. (that even when it's the bare minimum most people do not realise how unkind they are as they preach its importance). that my kindness mattered no matter where it came from.
im just going to copypaste the thing they sent me
"the motivator is invisible!!!! you could be chaotic evil but all ur evil deeds are fundmentally kind and it literally would not matter!!!!!!!!! i know it wont change it, the feeling of hating and loving the attneiton as a thing that is good/bad wont change just from sasying this but i rpomise
it feels bad but its not"
who cares what a "truly kind" person is? that's not a thing.
i am kind for a multitude of reasons. i am kind because i learned to care about (some) people. i am kind because i want to try to help kids be happier, so they wouldn't end up like me (so that they won't hurt other people, so that they won't hurt themselves) (and even if they end up like me they will have someone to go to, someone who is somewhat positive in their lives, someone who will not hate them for being like me). i am kind because i love the attention from it (and i have to remind myself that that's okay, that i am not bad for wanting people's care). i am kind because i choose to be (and i don't always have to be).
and that's pretty cool.
I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.
I used to think communication was the key until I realized comprehension is. You can communicate all you want with someone but if they don’t understand you, its silent chaos.
I feel like a lesser known perk of having low/no empathy is that it makes you great at giving advice. All of my friends say that I give great advice, especially when it comes to emotional stuff like relationships because I can think about my friends’ situations with 100% logic and facts, without letting emotions get in the way and cloud my judgement.
Autistic adults who are unable to work, I love you
Autistic adults who stim in public, I love you
Autistic adults who eat the same thing every day, I love you
Autistic adults who have little to no empathy, I love you
Autistic adults who find being in public so overwhelming that they never go outside, I love you
At this point I’m convinced that empathy is a lie created by neurotypicals to further demonise the mentally ill. No one can ever claim to feel exactly what someone else is feeling, and if they do, they’re a liar who’s making someone else’s feelings all about them