Tw.suicide - Tumblr Posts
Inspired by the song “More Than I Could Be,” by Danney Gokey, linked here if anyone is interested.
TW: suicide
“I could’ve become anything. I could’ve become a henchman for Supervillain, I could’ve overthrown him and taken his place. I could’ve ruled the city, like a king, made everything better for the civilians who are too afraid to stand up for what’s right.
I could’ve burned this place to the ground years ago, you know? Destroyed it all, back before there was someone to stop me. But you.”
“But me.”
“You stopped all of it. Without even realizing, you’ve made me the one thing I could’ve never been on my own.”
“And that is?”
“Excited,” The villain looked at the Hero, their eyes tired, so tired. “You made me happy. I really thought I was doing the right thing if someone was trying to stop me. But this...” Their eyes wandered over the destruction, the fire, the death. All caused by their own two hands.“This is not it. This is me saying my goodbye, Hero.” And they could only watch in mute horror as Villain walked to the edge, and jumped.
kuroo x reader - “hang in there”
genre: angst, comfort
word count: 760
warnings: suicidal thoughts ; depression
notes: i made this because i haven’t been feeling well lately and writing’s my coping mechanism. i wasn’t planning to post this but then i thought that some people might benefit from this. this piece contains things that i wished to hear but never got to. if you can relate to this then i want you to know that you’re not alone and what you’re feeling is valid. some day we’ll look back to this and laugh because you never realized how strong you were. just hang in there, love. i tried to be as vague as possible so that more of you can relate. of course, proceed with caution as i still touched some subjects that could be uncomfortable to some
sensitive topic talked about under the cut.
"if i were to jump off this cliff, what would you do?"
kuroo's fingers stopped midway through its run across your hair. you weren't looking at him. instead, you were looking at the sky dazedly. with a solemn look on his face, he began twirling a lock of your hair in his fingers, relishing in the comfort of your weight against his as you laid on his lap.
"i would catch you and lift you up until your wings can let you soar without you needing to fall."
the wind blew gently in the hidden spot you and kuroo found yourself often running off to. it was comforting. with the soil underneath you and the presence of kuroo's comfort that slowly ebbed away your worries, you felt grounded. that was nice.
"thank you," you smiled, a little empty but meant altogether.
.
"if i can no longer carry the weight, what would you do?"
kuroo smiled and lifted the box away from your hands. you watched as he leaned down, staring at your eyes as if he saw right through you, and given his intelligence, he probably did.
"i would take the top box off and hold you so you don't need to worry about tripping."
you stared at him, perplexed and he simply shook his head as he slowly leads you back on track towards your destination. the warmth of his hand spread across your lower back like the blooming of flowers in spring. with his mere presence, you felt the ice of loneliness slowly start to thaw. that was nice.
"thank you," you smiled, half a degree warmer in your flushed skin.
.
"if i were to disappear, what would you do?"
kuroo hummed, tapping the pen he was holding onto the desk, deep in thought. you silently watched his actions with bated breath, you were curious. his answers were always odd.
"i would go to a convenience store."
"what? why?"
"you'd probably be hungry when i find you."
you couldn't help but laugh in amusement. he was an odd one but you couldn't deny that his sentiment warmed you very much. with his care, you felt like you could stand against the world. that was nice.
"thank you," you smiled, a little brighter than before, to kuroo's surprise.
"no problem."
.
"if i can no longer do the things that i used to do well, what would you do?"
kuroo glared at the canvas in front of him. screw his art teacher. still, he dropped his palette and brush and turned to look at you. his intensity was new, you mused to yourself as kuroo's eyes once again stared into yours as he did every single time you asked him your questions.
"i would take new hobby lessons."
"what for?"
"so even if you can't do well in the things you used to do anymore, at least you'll have fun doing it because you have someone worse to make fun of."
"really?"
"really."
"well, the dog you painted looks wonky."
"you're crossing the line. steven is perfect as he is."
you fell down your chair from your laughter. with him beside you, you don't feel so alone anymore. that was nice.
"thank you," you whispered softly as you covered kuroo's sleeping form with a blanket.
.
"if i no longer need to rely on you to keep me alive, what would you do?"
kuroo held your hands in his and you couldn't help but notice how well they fit together. his hands that were much larger than yours, covered yours securely and that was comforting in its own right. with your reluctance gone, you looked up at him and smiled the most genuine smile you have mustered in months.
"i would love you all the same."
with his love, you felt like you were no longer a helpless doe but rather someone who was capable of being loved- someone who was capable of standing and walking side by side with everyone. with him, you were able to face your fears because he was always there, whether you fail or not. he made sure you realized you're not someone in constant need of doting but rather someone who's brave enough to continue on even when it hurt. he was exactly what you needed. someone who would stay by your side, not in front or at the back, but ready to support you when you start falling regardless. he was nice.
"thank you," you spoke with all devotion in your heart as you pulled him close for a kiss.
Sero has a dark sense of humor and that’s the only HC I need rn.
I just wanna tell him a joke at my expense about taking a dirt nap- have him agree, and not be able to tell if I was joking or not 😌🥺 I just feel like he’d understand it and not be immediately on my ass about it
Le funambule
.
.
Il hésite, au sommet de la falaise. Devant lui, la mer, sublime comme toujours, teintant de sel chaque bouffée d’air qu’il respire. Au-dessus, le ciel, immensité bleue peuplée de nuages cotonneux. Deux entités d’une sublime indifférence.
En bas, les rochers. Eux, au moins, ne sont pas indifférents aux souffrances humaines. Ils leur offrent leur miséricorde. Il suffit d’un pas de plus, d’un léger élan et…
Mais il hésite.
C’est vrai ça, tu sais ce que tu perds, tu ne sais pas ce que tu gagnes. Peut-être que ça fait vraiment, vraiment mal, les rochers. Même avec la hauteur et la vitesse. On parle d’être écrasé comme un scarabée sous une chaussure. Du liquide qui gicle à des dizaines de mètres. On le regrette forcément, quand vos os passent à l’état liquide. Ils ne doivent pas apprécier.
Et ensuite. Y a-t-il un ensuite ? S’il n’y en a pas, à la limite, ça se tenterait. Mais s’il y en a un ? Et si après avoir été délivré de la vie, on se retrouve coincé dans une autre vie, immatérielle mais éternelle ? Rien ne dit qu’elle serait si bonne que ça, après tout. En tout cas la première version ne l’a pas convaincu, et il n’a jamais trouvé le service après-vente pour se plaindre.
Il hésite et il oscille, sur le bord de la falaise, il hésite et vacille presque, au bord de la chute, en équilibre sur un sursis de la taille de sa semelle. Il hésite et ne peut pas se décider. Ce qu’il lui faudrait, c’est un élan, dans un sens ou dans l’autre, quelque chose qui le pousse à avancer, à transformer cette vie morose, ou qui le pousse dans l’autre sens, jusqu’en bas enfin de la falaise…
C’est une drôle de position qu’il a adopté. Funambule de la crête, entre mer et ciel, attiré par le sol sans jamais se décider, il n’est bien ni ici ni là, mais il pourrait… Un jour il pourrait se décider.
Il suffirait d’un élan…
.
Want to know a disturbing statistic? You know I said that all women who have boob jobs are unwittingly part of an ongoing study; well, lots of studies are conducted using their data – health complications afterwards, further cosmetic procedures, etc. And a meta-analysis of all these studies found that women who’ve had breast enlargements are two to three times more likely to commit suicide than women who haven’t. We need to think about that. About why this is happening, about the vulnerabilities of the women who choose cosmetic surgery and the normalisation of such choices. When they asked cosmetic surgeons about this rise in suicides they didn’t understand: ‘they were happy with their operations,’ they said; ‘she didn’t show signs of depression.’ But someone who wants to have their body cut open, to pay for it, is already self-harming. Carving criticism on their body. The expense and clever doctors persuading us surgery is more reasonable than razor work in your own bathroom. Psychologists are now paying attention to this suicide increase, asking whether it could be a result of surgery or a predisposition in those who seek it. But the whole thing feels too casual to me. I wonder if a pill or tablet that made you three times more likely to kill yourself would get approval from government departments?
Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body; Sara Pascoe
grieving the person you used to be
marian keyes// ?// bigger than the whole sky, taylor swift// fiona apple// @inkskinned// would've, could've, should've, taylor swift// father, the front bottoms// @inanotherunivrse// ?// memento mori, crywank// @dakotajohnsongf// @ryebreadgf// quote: deathless, catherynne m. valente edit:? // bojack horseman s6 e16// a pearl, mitski// would've, could've,should've, taylor swift// ?// ?// ?// @heavensghost
My Experience in the Cult-Like Cosplay Server Known as BeTraist, ran by CuttyRen and ChubbyArcherz
I've spent about 3 weeks writing this entire statement of my experiences in Ren's server. It's 11k words with well over 65+ screenshots of evidence of abuse and manipulative behavior from the users @/cuttyren and @/archyboi-innes towards myself and SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE including some of their now-ex partners.
If you know Ren from all of his bullshit on Tiktok and Instagram, then you already have some context of how horrifically he treated his ex, but the TLDR is Ren ran a smear campaign against their ex for about 2 YEARS once he broke up with them.
And beside Ren, there is Archer. Two ex-partners of theirs have recently physically gotten away from their abusive situation under Archer and recently made their own statements, giving me courage to write this one (you can find links to their statements within my own).
I'm begging you all to please take the time to read what I have written if you are a part of the JSE, Markiplier, and SandersSides cosplay communities (Tiktok or otherwise) or communities in general.
This is my story and my perspective of how they treated me and my friends. There is so much awfulness that has happened and I wasn't even one of Ren or Archer's actual targets. I was essentially just in the same room and was still affected by them deeply over the course of over 2 years.
Trigger warnings included in the doc, but please take care and read with caution. There will be discussions of cults, manipulation, gaslighting, adults flirting with minors, su*c*de, and more.
I am laying my story on the table because I want to give the people of these communities a WARNING about these rancid individuals. Please keep each other safe.
Thank you for reading.