Validate My Existence - Tumblr Posts

2 years ago

Deep Summer Thoughts

A calling I cannot tone out

louder, bursts, unfolds, breaks up,

my legs, cold. The Light, it Speaks

to me, yet It won’t Shine in me.

Why won’t It look my way, have I

something done so cruel to drown It?

I look back, read the leaves of the

trees, each grain of sand. They shine,

like I used to. I go closer,

in longing, in desperation.

Yet they stab me, pierce my bones,

a cold, unspoken feeling.

I go deeper towards Him,

My Light. That warm feeling on

my skin, undressed. He kissed me

once, he’ll kiss me again.

As I touch him, and he me

they suck me in, obliviously.

I keep going deeper, thinking

that it is Him. Suddenly, no

warmth is felt on my bare

skin, no sweetness, it’s not fair.

They pull me in, drink me up.

Finally, they take my breath

Away. I no longer see the Light,

I no longer see My Sun. This

deep water that drowns love struck

souls, drowned me. Moonlight on

my skin, crazy whispers all come

in, I no longer have a purpose,

all I dream about is Him. Oh,

how oblivious I was! No wonder

they never let me in. I said

I’d be the last to pass, but

first I had to surrender, but

I couldn’t surrender Him.


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2 years ago

patrick

what’s wrong with psychopaths

they’re people too

and although they’re sick

and probably want to kill you

or manipulate the shit out of you

why do i still love them so much

there’s something so attractive

about the seemingly lifeless

wanting to protect your life

am i wrong?


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1 year ago

a lustful dose of aquamarine ketamine

white sage valley

where rams come to die and

goats become human

crystal anthems of chrysanthemums

cause shivers in my skin and goosebumps on my bones

pearly tears in the sink

twisted gears, i can’t think

through the years keep me weak

we cut ourselves on piles of ionian sea glass

your infra-red blood on my body paint

just hostility and futility embracing in a whisper

cover me in velvet bruises on my inner thigh

make me in your thyme less soul

opalescent adolescent violence

my wet nymphette scent

accompanying a lavenderection of a coleo rising

my own softness chokes me, a violin side me

lively nightshade in your hair

like nevergreen overgrowth on a grave

the tyrannical terrain decomposes the magnoliar tree

lilac tarmac scorching below you and me

you were sculpted not by the gods but by those who appreciate mortality

make me in your soul

peel away layers of plaster from my sun-kissed skin

and watch the jealousy crumble to the ground

i unfurl like petals when i’m with you

if you weren’t mine, the skin would fall on its own

unloved for eternity away from your gaze

give me

hibiscus kisses below

eucalyptus eclipses

instead

champagneful truths become the lie

candlet go of hoarse remorse

if with you i’ll never die

you broke inside of me and painted it all blue

now dance naked in the ocean of my body under the moon of my mind

i wish you could skinny dip in my lagoon empty of perfume

my soul, reborn in your eyes

a single moth attracted by a flicker

that never vanishes on time

hollow worry

hammer heart

worthless mercy

worlds apart


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