THE WORLD DIDNT END

THE WORLD DIDNT END

To all my slowpokes, the ones who wait and the ones who fail. But you always manage to continue and learn ❤️

The world didn’t end when I was fifteen and failed getting my permit. Three times. It didn’t end when on my birthday I was alone with my best friend and my uninvited cousins who still showed up.

It didn’t end when I wanted to kill myself, it didn’t end when my mother got cancer and I couldn’t eat. The world didn’t end when I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without wanting to be skinnier. It didnt end when I got diagnosed with a chronic illness.

The world didn’t end when I was 18 and almost lost my leg and my boyfriend wouldn’t answer my calls and my best friend drove me to the hospital. The world didn’t end when I didn’t get my license first try. It didn’t end when I got disqualified in my first show. Nor did it when I got rejected from my dream college.

And it didn’t end after I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me.

Through it all I pushed through, I took my antibiotics, I went to therapy and my mom got better. I didn’t end when I moved in with my best friend, nor did it end when I moved back home and am going to college. And it won’t end when my best friend turned girlfriend is packing up and moving across the country to pursue her dreams.

I’ve learned to take my time, to do things when I felt ready. Not when society said I was ready.

WHY DONT YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN

AND STAY A WHILE

(Reader is depicted as white)

It was unusual for him to find himself infatuated with a person, let alone a woman. But a southern one was.. simply unheard of. Especially from him, sun kissed skin with a golden hue to it. A brunette with sun bleached hair. Not in the hero course but a general studies. Short legs that have a burn to the back of them, but it doesn’t look like she minded that much anyways.

It’s strange to see a new face halfway through the year, but she’s butterflied her way into his friend group. Bright and beamy and smelling like a wild-poppy. Quickly enamoring his friends, Uraraka and her tightly holding her hand as they face the lunch line. All smiles and beams as they plop down, the girl from the sunshine state smooshed against him, “‘m so sorry-“ she apologizes, “I always end up against you, I really hope you don’t mind”

It’s hard to mind when the girl of sunshine and bbq is squeezed against him, and her bare thigh pressed against his clothed thigh, their elbows touching every now and again, “I find it no trouble at all” he smiles softly as she pulls out her chips, opening them and placing them in the middle. Having no mind when Uraraka takes a few, nor when Midoriya or Todoroki do.

She smiles and looks over at him, leaning against him just a fragment of an inch. A sign of trust, that the butterfly has made her own land, her own people, “geez I’m so tired after math, and I’m not even done with the day..” Uraraka looks worried, an eyebrow raised as Todoroki speaks

“Maybe you should stop staying up so late to watch those sad animes. I hear you crying” he speaks, slowly and refined. Accusatory but gentle. Iida can feel her shrug against him.

“I keep telling you to watch them, ‘Nana’ is my favorite. It makes me cry each time” He can feel her giggle next to him as she slouches more and more, “maybe, honestly I’m just homesick”

“Why would you be homesick? I mean I understand it but UA is pretty great?” Midoriya remarks. The girl simply shrugs again and brings her knees to her chest.

“I miss my bed, and my friends and.. I miss my mom. And my dog.. and my cats. Jesus I even miss my chickens” A teardrop falls, smudging the mascara, “I fucked hated those chickens”

Iida shifts his arm, using it to console the girl who’s about to cry, “I’m sorry y/l/n. If you’d like you can go back to the dorms?” He offers but she sits up-right and lifts the tears that have collected on her eyelashes.

“No. I’ll finish today” she shakes her head, not minding Iidas arm around her shoulders, “are you guys willing to do a movie night?”

“I can’t.. it’s uh my moms birthday” Midoriya looks apologetic, “if I finish early I’ll come”

“But it’s a weekend and you all have families you want to go home to” she adds.

“I’ll watch a movie with you”

“Really?”

Iida doesn’t expect to find himself here, against the girl of his dreams. The girl who’s fast asleep against him. Laid on her stuffed bed with too many pillows and weird figures decorating her window staring at him.

He’s not uncomfortable, he’s more than comfortable with her head pressed against his chest, her leg against his abdomen and the tips of her hair tickling his nose. But it’s suffocating. Watching the girl he loves regret coming home here. Witnessing her laptop full of flights back home, the cheapest.

She sleeps soundly, eyes flickering behind closed lids, little jerks from her arms. A side of her he’d never seen, a side of the butterfly that shows her weakness. The exhaustion that seeps through her drooping wings. A tiredness that exists but will never fade. A sickness that never fades until at its orgin.

“Don’t go. Don’t leave. I want you to stay.”

What happened to the damn ceasefire everyone believed would happen?

I KNOW YOURE WORN AND EXHAUSTED

THIS IS ALL, THIS IS LOST ON YOU

(Aged up!!) I’ve been cooking this up for so looonngg

I love my life, I have a husband who loves me, a toddler who seems to be developing faster than might be good for her and a job that keeps me on my toes and pays me well. But it’s a job that keeps me away, a job I wasn’t willing to give up when I got pregnant. Katsuki had the option, paid maternity leave for a whole two years.

A thing I encouraged him to take, and though I believed he wished I was the one to stay and become a house wife but my career as a neurosurgeon doesn’t wait. There is no waiting while my tools are in the brain of another living breathing human.

“I just don’t understand why you can’t take more time at home? Is that too hard to ask?” He questions, it’s two in the morning. A reckless drive home under my exhausted worn eyes, “I come home when I need to. Why is it so hard for you”

“Because I’m saving the lives of people! People you can’t protect. Y’know today. I saved the life of a five year old girl who was going blind because of a tumor pressed against her optic nerve. That’s what I did today” I toss my purse onto the table and slip off my shoes.

“Suki took her first steps today. You wanna know what you missed? You missed our baby walking. That’s what you missed today.” He announces, “you don’t know how to quit. You can’t give in. You’re so obsessed with being the best you’ve given up everything that should be important to you”

His remark makes me laugh, “you realize that’s who you were when we first met. You were so power hungry for number one you pushed me aside. You forgot my birthday. Twice because you were so driven for that spot” I chastise, pushing my arms out of my jacket and dumping it on the couch.

His expression softens before he murmurs, “I will never understand you” so quiet I can barely hear it, so soft I only see his lips part slightly. But I know the words. I’ve heard them so often in my life I’ve grown accustomed to it.

It hurts my heart, but I feel the same as I did in my anatomy classes. Alone with a scalpel. Slowly opening a chest. I feel so alone, the one person I felt like I should’ve been able to talk to. Doesn’t understand what I do.

He doesn’t utter me a quick and heartless apology as he usually does when I go to bed. The bed is cold when I’m out of the shower, no body. No soul stuffed into our king sized bed.

I wear my own baggy shirts to bed, not my husbands, not anymore. He doesn’t even feel like my husband anymore. All I want is to talk about my day with him and have him understand that I love my job and my family and that I want to do both. All I’ve desired at the end of the day is to curl into bed with him, wrap my arms around him and kiss him and tell him that I saved a life today. To have him praise and appreciate me. There is no more of the sweetful bliss we used to share.

“Are you going to bed?” He asks, pulling the tucked covers and slowly sliding in.

I hum a little, staring at his back. Littered with scars and divots where skin was ripped and stitched back together. I want to talk to him, talk about everything, “did Suki go down well?” I ask as he rolls over to face me.

“Yeah. She misses you” he’s sorrowful and a little mournful when he confesses, “I miss you. I miss us”

Guilt doesn’t subside as his hands reach for my hips, a habit we’ve never broken. Throughout our fights and bickers we end our nights in a sweet embrace.

I want to apologize, but I can’t. I cant bring myself to apologize for something I love, “let’s just sleep” I can’t bring myself to face the situation I think I’ve caused myself. I close my eyes and I wonder if maybe I could’ve been happy being a housewife. If in maybe another life I wouldn’t stay in this marriage that sucks the life out of me.

“Oh. Ok, goodnight, I love you”

“I know”

WHO TELLS A TEENAGE GIRL SHE’D MAKE A PRETTY BRIDE

AND THEN LEAVES WITHOUT WARNING, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

I’ve never been comfortable with love, rarely found comfort in another person. Except him, cradled in his arms on a Tuesday night. My leg over his, his between mine. My arms around his neck and fingers twisting the green curls in my fingers. He peppers kisses against my chest and collarbone, “I can’t believe we’re about to be second years” I murmur. My breath hot against his skin as his hands slide up my tank top.

“I want to marry you” Izuku whispers, so faint I can barely hear it. In the privacy of my room with my fan blowing the words wish away into nothingness.

“I do too” I agree, a little more firm. A little more existant than his, I lay next to him a happiness of just existing next to him. Of being with him, a hopefulness of the future.

Oh how quickly that was ripped away from me. A startling Saturday morning, knocks on doors. Shouts from downstairs. Letters taped to doors, each one. Even mine. Scribbled handwriting and some stains through the ink. I stare at it as I ride the elevator down. Baggy sleep shorts and one of his shirts I took last night after we did our homework together.

Gone, just like that. Like he just disappeared; gone out to nowhere. Izukus excuse to leave me after telling me he loved me. Because he was worried about my safety. Mine and everyone else’s.

“How do you feel y/n?” Momo asks as I stare in silence at my letter. Biting at my lips and picking at my fingers, “y/n?” She repeats my name softly. Passing me a cup of green tea. It shakes in my hand that I grasp for it. Her reflexes catch it from my slippery grasp and she sets it on the table. She sits next to me, a friend from my elementary days. A girl I’ve known my whole life. She wraps an arm around me and holds me to her.

“I don’t understand” I repeat again and again, as if the more I say it the clearer his reason for leaving me will become. Leaving me after I’ve told him how many times I’ve been left. In this same situation, again and again I have loved and love has been ripped away from me, “why would he leave? He’s safest here?” I try to make sense of it. But there is none.

No logic was made in his choice to leave. But he still left, “he told me he loved me” I whisper, “he thought I was asleep but I wasn’t and he told me he loved me. And now he’s gone”

I’m still reeling from this, standing slowly. Iida chastises me but I’m in my own world. One where I need to lay in bed and mope, wail and cry until the hurt leaves my body. Until I don’t want to run out and find him, I’m too tired to keep begging for someone’s love and affection. I don’t have it in me anymore to love. And maybe that sounds selfish but to be gifted a note that says he wants to protect me and the school but still leaves me. Knowing it may hurt me more than death to see him leave.

I close my door, sinking to the ground on shaky legs and sore bones. A lump shoves itself into my throat; I bow my head and I’m overwhelmed by the smell of him. The sweet cinnamon of his cologne. Vomit biles in my throat as I rip the shirt off. A desperate attempt to rid myself of him. A shoving cleanse of everything he’s gifted me.

Tears fall down my face, thick hot tears fall down my cheeks. Bowing at the curve of my lips, snot running down my nose. I’m shirtless crying in my dorm room, wailing and sobbing like some stupid girl but the boy I loved and the boy who told me he wanted to marry me just left me. Left me with no good explanation. God I want to die.

Air doesn’t feel like it’s air, and I can’t breathe. I’m weak as Momo lets herself into my room. Quiet and gently she grabs a shirt from my closet and tugs it over my shoulders.

“Shh. I know y/n just breathe”

I don’t fight her, I don’t fight as she lifts me into my bed. And lays with me, I don’t fight. I don’t have anything to fight. As the tears fall from my face and collect on my pillow, as they stick my eyelashes in clumps. As my nose runs and tears fall into my open mouth.

“He told me he wanted to marry me..” I hiccup against her skin, “and then he left me”

I repeat it again, softer this time. Like the way Izuku said he wanted more, more than just a girlfriend, “he told me he wanted to marry me, and then he left me”

Me & my dad basically