Lmao Should I Just Start Purging Again?

Lmao should I just start purging again?

Just joking!!!

Unless… 👀🤭

Self care= guilt

…

My desires= guilt

…

My purpose= guilt

…

My existence= guilt

…

Update;

My sister said she doesn’t appreciate that I pressure her into coming back home to stay with us when all I’ve ever did was ask ❤️‍🩹

I wonder if she’ll care if I lose more again…

Turning a new page today!

Coming off of my antidepressant.

Working out again.

Tea instead of snacks.

Limit cal intake.

Dialectics.

Connecting to my femininity.

Embracing my current thoughts and feelings.

Riding the wave of tomorrow 🌊

So I have news;

I have finished a year of dialectical behavioural therapy and I feel great. Enlightened in fact.

But I will be relapsing cos although I’ve gained only a bit it’s still not my goal. I can be and will be skinnier.

This time it’s not out of depression, suffering or punishment- it’s to better myself and I won’t beat myself up for not doing better.

I will accept responsibility and start over and over again if I have to. Consistency is key.

Here’s to self preservation & perseverance 💅💕

UPDATE;

My sister got married and moved out to her in laws. I feel like I’ve lost her. Like she doesn’t care about me anymore. We barely see her and when we do I don’t feel close to her. It’s like there’s this boundary where someone else is getting her best. Her focus isn’t on me. It never was until I started to purge and restrict. Now I’m good again I’m invisible.

It makes me want to starve myself and I want her to notice.

New motivation unlocked I guess ❤️‍🩹