Annablooms - LustForABoringLife - Tumblr Blog

Seems I’ve relapsed at a good time.

It’s funny how I’m expected to heal yet forget myself at the same time.

I just got religious healing done today and now my mum expects me to change everything about me. Lovely.

Also I’ve decided to only like men now for the sake of god 🤲

So funny story

When I first started taking my antidepressant the mental health care team accidentally gave me a schizophrenia medication instead 💀

Honestly indescribable but definitely uncomfortable…

Turning a new page today!

Coming off of my antidepressant.

Working out again.

Tea instead of snacks.

Limit cal intake.

Dialectics.

Connecting to my femininity.

Embracing my current thoughts and feelings.

Riding the wave of tomorrow 🌊

So I have news;

I have finished a year of dialectical behavioural therapy and I feel great. Enlightened in fact.

But I will be relapsing cos although I’ve gained only a bit it’s still not my goal. I can be and will be skinnier.

This time it’s not out of depression, suffering or punishment- it’s to better myself and I won’t beat myself up for not doing better.

I will accept responsibility and start over and over again if I have to. Consistency is key.

Here’s to self preservation & perseverance 💅💕

Update;

My sister said she doesn’t appreciate that I pressure her into coming back home to stay with us when all I’ve ever did was ask ❤️‍🩹

I wonder if she’ll care if I lose more again…

UPDATE;

My sister got married and moved out to her in laws. I feel like I’ve lost her. Like she doesn’t care about me anymore. We barely see her and when we do I don’t feel close to her. It’s like there’s this boundary where someone else is getting her best. Her focus isn’t on me. It never was until I started to purge and restrict. Now I’m good again I’m invisible.

It makes me want to starve myself and I want her to notice.

New motivation unlocked I guess ❤️‍🩹

I look so lovely and skinny for my sisters wedding 💒 💅

Lmao should I just start purging again?

Just joking!!!

Unless… 👀🤭

I need to lose 10 kg/22 lbs in 3 months

Now is my time to shine ✨ 💅

Silent self-control

Sorry for being inactive…

I haven’t been feeling skinny enough

I’m still stuck at my cw

…

But at least I can get all my trousers on without undoing the buttons & zips 💅👏🏼✨

Self care= guilt

…

My desires= guilt

…

My purpose= guilt

…

My existence= guilt

…

I’m sorry but

50kg is the definition of skinny-fat

I am 50kg

I am skinny fat 👀💀

I might be an attention whore but it’s not cos I’m a Leo rising ♌️ 👀

Why is everyone so fucking disappointing

Like I never wanted to be this person but

I need people who are on 👏🏼my 👏🏼level 👏🏼 💅

(talking about my irls btw- love youse on here x)

I am the British stereotype

I am the ED stereotype

I am the girl stereotype

…

I bloody LOVE tea 🫖💅

I love the term “spread thin”

But make it “sprinkled thin”~ it’s cuter 💕

Changing my tumblr name cos I’ve had enough and this is as close as I can get to a reinvention 💅✨WITHOUT CUTTING MY HAIR

Guess what game I’m playing;

Gaslight ED~ Gatekeep Recovery

Gaslight Recovery~ Gatekeep ED!!!

And if you need motivation look at that number on the scale…