Me & My Hubby!

Me & my hubby!

—When you accidentally introduce your boyfriend as your husband

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Suggestive content in Dazai's

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: This is very rushed so sorry if its not well written

↳Osamu Dazai

As the door of the fitting room opened, your boyfriend came into sight. The white tuxedo hugged his slim frame perfectly, making his tall figure stand out even more. The color had given him an elegant look, which nearly made you wonder if he was the playful guy you were dating.

Dazai smirked as he picked up on your stun and flashed you a cheeky smirk. "Like what you see, Bella? You're staring a little too hard you know~"

Suddenly the fitting room seemed like the perfect place to show him how much you actually liked his new look. It didn't matter if you made a mess out of the tux, since you were about to buy it anyway.

"Oh Osamu... You should wear white more often"

"Everything alright here?"

The salesclerk was checking up on you with a warm smile.

"Ah yes! We would like to buy this one. It looks gorgeous on my husband"

You didn't exactly pay attention to your words, but seeing Dazai's eyebrows jump in surprise made you question your statement, and...

Oh.

Anxiety washed over you as you weren't exactly unfamiliar with your partner's commitment issues, but much to your surprise, Dazai wasn't upset nor terrified; his huge ass grin was showing off his joy and flatter.

"I'm her husband!"

For god's sake.

The salesclerk on the other hand was looking at you oddly, probably questioning her life choices.

"Ah, ok. Well then would you mind taking the tuxedo off? I'll wrap it up for you"

A snicker left your boyfriend's lips as he pulled you close by your waist. "Sure, but I might need my wife's help to take my clothes off. Will you be kind enough to help me out, Anata?"

"Oh shut up already!"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

One of the benefits of working at the same organization was that when your boyfriend had a mission overseas, you could go with him.

You had just arrived to your hotel after a five hour flight, which made you tired as hell since you couldn't sleep on the airplane. Although that wasn't enough to lessen your excitement for going on what could be some kind of a trip after you finish the job.

"Have you made a reservation beforehand ma'am?"

"No, it was kind of rushed. Would that be a problem?"

The receptionist shook his head to the side. "Not at all. Lucky for you, we still have some rooms available"

The door of the hotel opened and Chuuya came in, approaching you with your luggage in his hand. You looked back at the receptionist. "Great! Then I'd like a room for two people. We're going to be here for a while since my husband needs to take care of some stuff from work; right, honey?"

Chuuya froze in the spot and a light shade of crimson appeared on his cheeks. This was definitely unexpected. It made him feel butterflies in his stomach in a good way and somehow questioned all the logic that made him avoid thinking about the future of your relationship.

"Well your husband doesn't seem to be sure" The receptionist commented in a humorous way. "Alright then, here's your key"

On the way to your room there was a silence that couldn't exactly be marked as "uncomfortable". Chuuya was wearing a warm smile yet so drowned in his thoughts that you refused to take him out of his zone. However, when you reached the door, he suddenly lifted you up, making you suddenly gasp and gaze at him with astonishment.

"What are you doing?"

"What a good husband is supposed to do"

The familiar beam was back on his face.

"I'm carrying my wife to our shared hotel room"

↳Ranpo Edogawa

"Ranpo! You can't eat this whole cake!"

Going to the bakery had become some sort of tradition since you and your boyfriend started dating. You went there every afternoon, tasted the new pastries, you lectured him to not get carried away and he stopped you by shoving a cookie in your mouth. That was pretty much repetitive, except that something extra was coming along today.

"I can and I will. That's why it's called sample y/n" He munched on his cheesecake, delighted by the sweet taste lingering in his mouth.

"Well Mr. detective, It's a sample so you should just take one bite and then move on! If you like it then just buy one!"

The baker chuckled and walked toward you. She knew you since you were regulars there, and she had enough respect for the president to not throw a tantrum over a few pieces of cake. "It's alright Miss y/n. Let the man eat his sweets"

"You don't understand ma'am! My husband eats way too much sweets and that's not healthy at all! What if he comes down with diabetes or something?!"

Ranpo stopped chewing for a brief second and looked at you from the corner of his eye. The lady on the other hand, was more excited than shocked. "You got married? Oh! Congratulations! It's nice to know that Mr. Ranpo has finally settled down!"

You didn't know if you should correct yourself or hide your red cheeks. "I— I meant that— " "Please have some more cake! They're on the house. Consider them a gift from me"

As she left you alone, you finally turned to your boyfriend to see his reaction, which was exactly the way you expected it to be; smug and playful. "Ah, I went into this marriage with so much hope"

"Oh grow up!"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"How's your steak honey?" You asked, looking at your boyfriend with curiosity. He had been taking bites reluctantly, swallowing without actually tasting the meat.

"It's burnt to a crisp, even though I ordered it medium rare" He gently wiped his mouth with the napkin, placing the cutlery on the table. You gave the dish a once over and flagged the waiter down. After a while he approached your table. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Yes. My husband ordered his steak medium rare and as you can see, this is not what he asked for"

My... Husband?

"Eh, so... He'd like his steak... Medium rare... Please?" Awkwardness was hitting you and you really didn't want to be alone with Fyodor right now, but unfortunately, you were on a date and there were no way to escape from it.

The waiter excused himself after apologizing and taking the plate back to the kitchen. He did find your sudden change of expression odd, but he didn't say anything since he wasn't asking for less tip. However, Fyodor was completely ready to bring it up. You could tell that based on his grin, but you were doing your best not to face him at that moment.

Not that it was enough to stop him.

"How's your pasta Mrs. Dostoevsky?" "Fedya! Stop!"

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Getting sick on valentine's day was not originally your plan, but at least you got to visit the doctor together. You were now waiting for the secretary to call your names.

"How long should we wait?"

Covering your mouth with a tissue, you lightly coughed. "Anytime now. All the people ahead of us went inside"

Akutagawa glanced at the door of the doctor's office and nodded. He had made a reservation at your favorite restaurant today and was planning to take you to some place nice afterwards, get on one knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him, but you suddenly got sick. It's not like he could be mad at you. It was not your fault, but... It seemed like the perfect opportunity. The perfect day for a memorable gesture...

"Mrs. Akutagawa! You're up"

Akutagawa.

She was referring to you, with his last name.

You had introduced yourself as Akutagawa. He was sure you did it accidentally since your face was redder than a tomato now, but still, he never thought hearing it would feel so... special.

The raven-haired man held your hand and leaded you to the doctors office, a ghost of a smile spread on his face. He might've lost the chance to propose now, but it's not the end of the world. You're stuck with him and not going anywhere, so he would try to make the perfect plan for a perfect proposal, for the perfect girl.

↳Saigiku Jouno

"Are you sure this is the store?" Your boyfriend crossed his arms.

"For the thousandth time! Yes!" "Well, you were also sure that you knew my size but it turns out you were wrong" "Ugh! Let's just get inside!"

Thanks to his job, Jouno was always on endless missions and barely had time to rest, let alone go shopping. You this T-shirt when you were walking by and you just couldn't help but to imagine your boyfriend in it. It might've cheered him up if it was his size.

The clerk recognized you the second you set foot in the store. "Oh hi ma'am! Welcome back!"

"Hi Amaya. Thank you. So, remember how I was not sure if the T-shirt was my boyfriend's size?"

She only nodded with a forced smile, because how could she forgot? You spent fifteen minutes staring at the T-shirt, wondering if it would fit him.

"Well, it wasn't" Jouno's smile got wider and you sighed. "Yeah yeah, I admit it. I don't know what size is suitable for my husband. I'm the worst partner ever. Can we please change this one and leave?"

"I don't understand ma'am"

For real? You just can't take a break.

"I'm saying that the T-shirt was too big for him!" "Yeah I got that, but I thought he was your boyfriend?" "What do you mean you— oh!"

No.

No no no no no no no no.

Jouno's smirk was still on, and now with a little smugness. He was clearly enjoying himself.

"If this is your way of proposing, it's really lame" "Oh shut up you big jerk!"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Tag List:

@pussydrunkfyodor @silverbladexyz @h8kolya @gettinshiggywithit @exhausted-doll @echo28 @rosasensibles @nekokinax @paperllama @the-foreigner @arsonklee @fayenfim @circinuus @c4xcocoa @asqmi @blueberry-writer @ryokuryuu @ayladove @sinfullysophiastrange @sugarcherryemo @whossuzy @sigmazcasino @linn-a-a @uottani @spiritis-rambles @glitch-karma @ilovechuuyaa

Want to be added to my bsd tag list?

"Your eyes are mine"

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Dazai X Fem!Reader

Request: "Can Dazai please slide down to the bottom of the bed and kiss my thighs nothing smut I just want him to hug and kiss my thighs🥺" ◜By dear @confusedempath ◞

Genre: Fluff

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Suggestive content (C'mon he's kissing your thighs there has to be some spices at least)

Word Count: 0.4K

Attention, is something that DAZAI always has all to himself; so it's only natural for him to feel abandoned when you're drowned so deep in that bloody book you're holding that you prefer it over the company of your beloved boyfriend.

Dazai pouts, a big, obvious pout that is hard to be overlooked by anyone- except for you of course; and tilts his head to the side, scanning your figure with apparent dissatisfaction. You're so cruel, ignoring him when he's craving your notice this badly, and you're much crueler for doing that while wearing the pair of knee socks he's bought for you.

Eyes brightening with delight, Dazai approaches you, kneeling down next to the bed while lightly caressing your ankle, earning a glance from you.

"Osamu?"

"Hmm?"

Pepper kissing your ankles, he smirks when he feels a light vibration coming from your body. His lips go all the way to your knee cap, relaxed when they finally get to have a taste of your skin rather than the fabric of your black socks. You on the other hand, are the complete opposite of relaxed. You feel nervous. Excited and nervous because you've been together with him for so long yet a single touch of his is enough to turn you into a blushing mess.

"You should spend more time with me, Belladonna..."

A soft hum escapes through his lips as the cozy warmness of your inner thigh caresses his cheeks. Dazai is crazy about your thighs, how soft and kissable they are and how you melt in his hands whenever he's touching them.

Mouth attacking your body, the thought of holding back from tasting the soft flesh doesn't even cross his mind, sucking the fuzzy feeling radiating from your body like a vampire who's been starved for blood. He doesn't need to look at your face; he knows your cheeks are crimson red and your body's yearning for him to touch you more, more more till there's no spot left that haven't been marked as his territory.

"You've got a weird look in your eyes, Belladonna. Do you perhaps want something from me? Hmm... You're this desperate for my touch huh? Then how come you didn't say anything? There's no way that book's that interesting to keep you from asking me? You know I never refuse you, sweetheart. Don't give me the puppy eyes now baby. I'm still a little offended you know?... Yet, I guess I can forgive you, if you put that book down and chat with me. Remember Bella, Your eyes are mine; nothing else deserves to be laid on by them when I'm around."

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Sex with Atsushi would be animal harassment.

Sex with Ranpp would be pedophilia.

Until the next discoveries goodbye🚶🏻‍♀️

"Open your mouth for me baby"

"Do you know what happens when you misbehave?"

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Request: "hi! congrats on 500 🥰 for the prompts maybe chuuya + 1&5" ◜By lovely anon!◞

Genre: Smut

Format: Fic

Warnings: Explicit smut, Rough sex, Creampie, Mean Dom!Chuuya, Sub!Reader, Degrading, Oral (M receiving), Vaginal sex, Doggy style, Dirty talk, MDNI

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: I'm sorry if this sucks, I just wanted a get it over with.

Having gotten no type of attention for the past few days, you are exhausted.

No matter if it's on weekdays or the weekend, Chuuya is always busy with work. He gets one call from his boss and he runs to the port mafia like a poppy, leaving you all alone in bed in the middle of the night.

From the beginning of this not so stablished relationship, you knew that it was going to be like this. Chuuya's loyalty to the port mafia has no boundaries, in fact it's one of the reasons you fell for him in the first place; but now that you need him to be by your side and he's not, you're frustrated.

Today was finally his day off which you made him take. You were so excited for today, or else you wouldn't spend 2 hours in the shower, shaving and using all kinds of shampoos and lotions. You even put scented candles in the bedroom and decorated the bed with rose petals fighting the urge to start the date night from there, but you should have probably knew that things were not going to go as planned.

Now Chuuya is sitting in his office, attending an "emergency meeting" through his laptop, and you are on the couch wearing his favorite dress, drinking his favorite wine all by yourself. You want to cry so bad, but you also don't want to make him feel bad. He isn't doing this on purpose. Port Mafia isn't just his job, it is his one and only family. You don't want him to think he has to choose between the two of you; but you aren't really against letting him know how upset you are.

Suddenly an idea pops into your head. An idea that is risky, dangerous and everything; but is also too tempting to resist.

Chuuya is in the middle of the online meeting when he feels your presence. He raises his head and looks at you, but instead of a happy expression, he faces a big frown on your face. He has an idea of what's going on- you had talked about this matter before after all-, but you look way more upset than you used to be before. He would tell you to wait for him a little more if people couldn't see him through his laptop; but you aren't looking for an apology or anything, since you go down on the floor and start crawling under the table.

Now Chuuya is shocked, and when he feels your hand on his crotch, he sees right through your plan, but he can't really stop you, not even with his hand.

"ACKKK!"

Mori looks at his red face with a bit of concern and asks him what's wrong; but what can he say? His wife is trying to give him a blowjob and bites his hand when he attempts to stop her?

Down there, you are satisfied. happy. Delighted, if you may say.

You smirk as you unravel his length from his pants, smitten by how it's reacting to your small touches. Before wrapping your lips around it, you wonder if Chuuya is liking this or the other way around; but his body is kind of giving away the answer.

The red-haired man's jaw clenches as your tongue rolls around his tip. He has always been fond of the heads you've been giving him here and there, but he's not sure how to feel about them now. Though this makes no change to your attitude; you're still as greedy and professional ever, gagging on his length as you bob your head up and down, desperate for fresh air but the urge to teach him a lesson is strong; to the point that you would even give up on breathing.

Chuuya bangs his head against the desk as he finally comes, sinking his teeth in his bottom lip to prevent his groan from breaking out. You're still greedy and don't want to let go, keeping his still erected cock in your mouth; but you know if you don't ban yourself from one last lick, You'll make him whine and he will kick your ass afterwards. Moments pass and he still refuses to raise his head. It's like he finds the hard substance under his forehead comfortable, or that he doesn't want other mafia members to see him all red and vulnerable.

Whatever the reason was, you didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Chuuya-kun?"

Of course the mafia members were watching him.

"Pardon me boss, but I need to go"

That was the last thing he said before closing his laptop, and before you jumped up and ran out of the room, almost like a bullet firing from a gun.

You were fast for your own kind.

If only Chuuya was one of your kind.

It's a matter of time before he grabs your arm, humping you on his shoulder to carry you to the bedroom. Obviously he can hear you laughing, shaking, screaming, whining and even begging at some point; but he's just not interested. He doesn't even care when you gasp as he slams you against the bed and hovers over you.

A few shouts and scolding is what you're expecting to hear; but no, the silence doesn't get interrupted by anything, not even the sound of your breathing. It's just Chuuyas gaze piercing through your soul with his lips sealed, and you staring back with fear. What is going on in that little head of his?

Is he angry? Yes.

Is he planning on revenge? Probably.

Are you fucked? Oh boy, totally.

Will apologizing make everything right?

…No, but it won't hurt to try.

"Eh... Sorry?"

"No"

No. You can't just get away with that.

"You know... I worked my ass off all the week just to be able to spend today with you. I get that something came up and I had to work again, but it's not like I asked for it! Yet you don't give a shit and keep putting me under pressure"

A petite hint of guilt roses in your chest and makes you rethink the whole situation again, realizing he might have a point; but it's useless now, he doesn't wanna hear your apology. He seems to be interested in gaining another thing from you, and from the way his eyes have darkened with lust, you have a clue of what his demand might be.

Chuuya smirks, the kind he wears on his face whenever he's going to put a show on at work and kick all his enemies' asses and of course, whenever he's going to ruin you. The kind that would send shivers down your spin and make your heart race with excitement, realizing you're gonna get it good.

Maybe he's not that mad after all.

Boy you're wrong.

His cold fingers making contact with your lips gives you goosebumps, but they aren't as cold as his stare. That's on another level.

"Open your mouth for me baby"

All the confidence and the urge to get revenge drifts away from your mind and as you obediently open your mouth for him to coat his thumb with your saliva, you realize that you've started a fight that you will never win, because the grip Chuuya has over you is insane; just one signal from him is enough to have you crawling back to him like a lost puppy, desperate to be with his master.

"Do you know what happens when you misbehave, doll?"

You aren't in a comfortable position to think, even if you have a hint of the answer.

Not when Chuuya's tongue brushes against your ear like this, as if his hand roaming around your inner thighs isn't enough.

"Remember y/n, you asked for this"

"Chuuya- can't- I'm- I'm sorry!"

That was the last drops of your energy, which you foolishly wasted over pleading and begging, like it's going to have any influence on him.

Chuuya's cock relentlessly shoves in and out of your abused cunt, his hips slamming against yours as he takes you from behind. How many times have you come? You've lost counting after the fifth one, and from the looks of it, Chuuya's not planning on taking a break yet.

"What's wrong sweetheart? You were so impatient earlier that you couldn't even wait till my meeting was over. You just had to barge in and try to embarrass me in front of everyone. Regretting it already? But we've just started!"

He isn't exactly expecting an answer, but he does gets a loud moan as a response instead which he finds pleasant, although that's mostly the work of his dick.

Still, he won't miss the chance to tease you.

"I'm talking to you, slut" A harsh slap lands on your ass, making you moan louder "Did I fuck you too dumb to even answer to a simple question? Well, my bad"

Chuuya's good at multitasking, so he somehow finds the perfect rhythm for his thrust while rubbing your clit with his digits, as if his lengthy member exploring through your folds aren't already enough. Your body feels numb and you can't really think about anything- as you should be after three orgasms and two squirts; the only thing you sense is how your body is still greedy for more of him, with the way his cock inside you feels just right.

Chuuya does one last thrust and releases inside you with a soft groan, not high pitched but loud enough for you to hear, since he knows it drives you crazy; but the second he pulls out of you, you collapse onto the bed, trying to catch your breath. He smiles at the sight of his cum dripping out of your pussy, and lightly pushes it inside you, where it should be. He almost feels bad when you squirm at the feeling of his fingers on your entrance again.

"Well darling, I hope you've learned your lesson"

Yeah, you definitely did this time.

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

What if I...

—You make a tempting, unexpected offer; how are they going to react?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, mentions of giving blowjobs (whether it'll happen or not is up to you lol), unstablished relationship (you're just friends, but are you..?), rushed writing

Genre: Humor

Format: Drabble

Word Count: 1.6K

↳Osamu Dazai"

Listen y/n..." Dazai cooes at you. "I'm a little bit busy with... uh, work; so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you on this mission"

Shaking your head to the side with frustration, you bend a little on the desk, gazing into his Hazel eyes to show your desperation "Oh c'mon Dazai! You're not seriously gonna make me go to this tiresome mission by myself?! They're all politicians! It's gonna be boring as hell!"

The pile of paperwork on his desk are making you question your eyesight, but you know Dazai better than that. He probably saw it coming so he placed them there on purpose to prove his point.

...Not that it could exactly be called a "point".

"Listen..." Your voice is so low that only Dazai can hear it. "There must be some way for me to change your mind"

His expression doesn't change one bit, still looking through the documents for nothing, pretending to be occupied. "Sorry to burst your bubbles, but I really can't—"

"What if I suck your dick?"

Eyes shooting you a shocked gaze and hands staying still, it seems like he's completely lost interest in the paperwork. He's looking through your soul and the moment his lips start moving, you know you've won the battle.

"For... for real?" "Yes, for real"

The surprised face is all gone and instead, there's a totally new face now; a smug face of a man who's gonna team up with you for the mission and get a little prize in the end.

"So when do we leave?"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Listen Chuuya, with great looks comes great responsibility. There's a reason why you're this hot!"

The red-haired man looked away as an attempt to hide his flustered face, his voice still gravely. "Stop it y/n. I'm not gonna be your model for the photoshoot"

"Why not? You're the perfect choice!" "The answer's no! Get over it"

"Hmph! You're no fun" You crossed your arms and pouted as you leaned to the chair. You couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was he so against being your model? You were just gonna take a few photos of him wearing casual clothes and maybe some light makeup. It was for your photography class and you were supposed to take a pic of somebody under the rays of sunset. With Chuuya's red hair and blue eyes, it would be a breath taking pic. He just looked so pretty under the sun.

As Chuuya took the bottle to sip from it, you found yourself desperate enough to give it one last shot.

"What if I suck your dick as a payment?"

And then the explosion happened. Chuuya's hand snapped, the bottle fell on the floor and drops of wine literally squirted out of his mouth. He was coughing so strongly that you rushed over and started hitting him in the back like he was some kind of ketchup bottle. His face was crimson red, but whether it was from choking or embarrassment, you couldn't really tell.

When he finally came down and caught his breath, he placed his hand on his chest and looked at you with eyes the same size as a baseball, meanwhile you looked at him miserably with the word "sorry" written all over your face.

"So... is that a yes?" "NO!"

Well, at least you nearly killed him.

↳Jouno Saigiku

"Ok I don't know why you're refusing. I'm just giving you the opportunity to make up for your mean attitude by doing something nice! You know, to go to heaven, like me and other nice people, Teccho for example"

Jouno was still expressionless. He merely sipped his cup of coffee and placed his hat on the table. "I appreciate the offer, but after a lifetime we definitely need a break from each other"

"Ugh you jerk! C'mon it's a piece of cake for you! You've arrested plenty of people before! You're smart, you're strong and I came to you for help which shows that I'm really desperate!"

Your relationship with Jouno was... questionable. He teased you, had a tendency to piss you off all the time, but somehow you were friends. The weirdest type of friendship that had ever existed, probably.

"I can see that. See I do wanna help you out, but I just love seeing the new you"

Shaking your head to the side, you leaned back to the couch. A hard case was given to you and you really didn't want to blow it up, but you needed help, and everyone else were busy. Except for your horrible friend here.

"Jouno, Jouno, Please..." You took his left, gloved hand. "I need you! I'll do anything in return! I'll team up with you and insult Teccho for a whole year! I'll write every one of your reports! I'll even suck your d—"

Jouno didn't hear your voice anymore. In fact, the only thing heard in the room was pure silence, and of course your heartbeat.

You were shocked.

He got his hand out of your grasp, placing it next to your head. His other hand found its way to your lips, softly caressing them. Meanwhile you didn't say a word, just stared at his handsome face and swallowed your saliva.

"Hypothetically, if I help you out, how far would you go to make it up to me?"

Forget about your friendship. You weren't that close anyway.

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm going to go to my parents' with my boyfriend tonight"

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, dear" Fyodor tilted his head to the side to gaze at you.

"I don't! That's where you come in!"

Nikolai exchanged a look between your nervous expression and Fyodor's smile, and pouted. "Hey! Why didn't you ask me instead?"

"Yeah yeah, if I ever wanted to give them a heart attack you'd be the first person I'll go to" You sighed and looked back at Fyodor. "So? Would you please help me out?"

Fyodor was sitting next to you on a chair. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Ah... I'm not sure about that. Wouldn't it make our relationship awkward?"

"No! No not at all!" Your voice was rushed and shaky. "You see you're the perfect choice for this"

"Hmph!"

"Shut up Nikolai. I mean, you're tall, you know how to talk to people— in a satisfying way, ah, you know what I mean, you're handsome, you have very pretty hair, you have the most beautiful violet eyes I can stare at until forever..."

His brattish smirk made you shut up and give a few embarrassed coughs. Your flushed cheeks weren't exactly helping you out at the moment.

"Eh... So you're the best in many ways... Now, would you please help me out?"

Fyodor gave Nikolai-who was also smirking- a meaningful look, and his smirk got broader. "I will think about it"

"What's there to think about? You get to have a free dinner and also have a great time! My dad has the same taste in books as you! I'll even suck your dick at the end!"

You suddenly shut up and stared at the two men with eyes the same size as a racket ball. Now there was also two pare of knitted eyebrows along with the smirks. Nikolai's winking and muttering "Yeah baby" didn't help you loosen up at all.

Fyodor leaned closer until the phrase "personal space" lost its meaning, staring at you. His pretty eyes were sparkling, making it harder to steal your gaze from them. His voice was as gentle as the sea breeze, the perfect melody to caress your ears.

"So... I'll get to date the most beautiful girl in the world, spend a whole night with her and then get something afterwards?"

You were so drowned in your thoughts that you couldn't utter a single word. This moment was magical, making you wonder if he were going to seal your lips with his, totally forgetting about Nikolai's presence.

...Until he started talking.

"Do you guys want me to leave the room? Cause there's no way I'm doing that"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"...Which is why clowns are so fragile and have strong emotions!"

You shook your head with disappointment. "Yeah yeah, get it. But that doesn't answer my question"

"What was your question anyway?"

Ugh.

"Would you please babysit my cousins with me?"

"Hahaha! I remember now!" His face brightened with joy. "Well, no"

You leaned closer to him miserably. "Oh c'mon Kolya!"

"Sorry dove, I just don't get along with children. Not a fan"

"But they're triplets Kolya! I can't handle them on my own!" At this point you were literally begging. "Pretty please?"

"Triplets? Ha! Another reason for me to say no"

Well, that was it. You were going to be alone with your naughty cousins for four hours and then hand a burned house and probably only one of the boys back to your aunt because you lost the other two.

"Unless..."

Ah! There's still some hope left.

"You offer me something in return?"

Nikolai's face was dangerously close to yours. His smile was bright, but his intention didn't seem to be. Although that didn't scare you. It only made your body numb with excitement and through your clouded mind, you somehow put two and two together and blurted something out.

"Eh... What if.. What if I suck your di— Woah Nikolai what are you doing?"

A chuckle left his mouth as if something simple had happened, but this wasn't simple. He had just lifted you up and was carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

"You took the hint all by yourself. How about that, my naughty dove?"

"K— Kolya! Where are you taking me?"

Your red cheeks only made his smile broader. "We're gonna get your clothes changed, go to your aunt's aweful house, babysit your horrible cousins, and then get ready for a night of fun"

↳Sigma

"So... How's the best manager in the world?"

Sigma's stare was still pointed at the documents. "I'm not planning a birthday party for your friend y/n"

"What are you talking about?" You smiled cunningly, lightly caressing his arm from the other side of the desk. "Can't I just compliment my incredible friend? Who happens to be an expert in planning and managing stuff?"

When you two first met, he used to get flustered by your flattering comments, but now Sigma's eyebrows only jumped in surprise. "You... can, but it won't change my mind"

"Pretty please?" Dropping the act, you got up from your seat and stood next to him, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. "I really need your help. I don't have a clue about this and you're the only one I know"

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm caught up with work. You know that the casino is very busy this time of year, there's nothing I can do"

You sighed and sat on the chair again, desperately thinking about a way to convince him. What would make men do women a favor...

"What if I suck you dick?"

Sigma was still staring at the documents, which made you wonder if he had heard you, but his eyes were not the same. They were widened. He slowly lifted his head and looked at you like he was about to chop off his hand and stick it down his ass, and that made you finally realize it.

"Oh I forgot that you're three years old! I mean you haven't even hit puberty yet. Oops. My bad"

Yeah, Sigma needed new friends.

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Thought of this while eating the potato chips my dad had bought for himself😋

"This is what you're buying?"

Your boyfriend hands a chocolate ice cream and other snacks to the cashier, and nods.

"But you said it was an emergency and you really needed to buy some important stuff"

"I still mean it. Snacks can count as emergency too, on some occasions"

You watch him hand the cashier his credit card and raise a brow at his words. "But I have all the same stuff at home—"

The look in his eyes finally clears everything up.

"Oh my god you ate them all again you little shit, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, pretty" He flashes you a somewhat dumbfounded look and shrugs his shoulder.

"I'm gonna take a look at the cabinet when we get home. If I don't find my snacks you're dead meat"

"Just remember that food can be replaced easily, but a kind and loving boyfriend is very hard to find these days"

You give him a threatening glare. "I'll come to this very shop and pick out ten different brands"

"You wound me so deeply sometimes, sweetheart"

DAZAI, RANPO (He'll make you pay for them tho, actually Dazai might do that too), Nikolai, Kaji, TECCHO, Tachihara, GOJO, Geto, BACHIRA, Rin, REO, Chigiri, NAGI, Tsukishima, NISHINOYA, Daichi, SUGAWARA, KUROO, Lev, BOKUTO, TENDOU, Osamu, ATSUMU, SUNA, OIKAWA, Vanitas, ROLAND, LIGHT, Mello, L