Thought Of This While Eating The Potato Chips My Dad Had Bought For Himself

Thought of this while eating the potato chips my dad had bought for himself😋

"This is what you're buying?"

Your boyfriend hands a chocolate ice cream and other snacks to the cashier, and nods.

"But you said it was an emergency and you really needed to buy some important stuff"

"I still mean it. Snacks can count as emergency too, on some occasions"

You watch him hand the cashier his credit card and raise a brow at his words. "But I have all the same stuff at home—"

The look in his eyes finally clears everything up.

"Oh my god you ate them all again you little shit, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, pretty" He flashes you a somewhat dumbfounded look and shrugs his shoulder.

"I'm gonna take a look at the cabinet when we get home. If I don't find my snacks you're dead meat"

"Just remember that food can be replaced easily, but a kind and loving boyfriend is very hard to find these days"

You give him a threatening glare. "I'll come to this very shop and pick out ten different brands"

"You wound me so deeply sometimes, sweetheart"

DAZAI, RANPO (He'll make you pay for them tho, actually Dazai might do that too), Nikolai, Kaji, TECCHO, Tachihara, GOJO, Geto, BACHIRA, Rin, REO, Chigiri, NAGI, Tsukishima, NISHINOYA, Daichi, SUGAWARA, KUROO, Lev, BOKUTO, TENDOU, Osamu, ATSUMU, SUNA, OIKAWA, Vanitas, ROLAND, LIGHT, Mello, L

Pregnancy Dramas

—Things you faced when you were carrying their child

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Fyodor, Kunikida X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mainly Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Pregnancy, Pregnancy problems, Cravings, etc

Word Count: 1.4k

↳Osamu Dazai

If anyone had told Dazai that he would eventually settle down with someone, he would have merely laughed at them; but there he was, standing next to the infirmary bed while looking at you, his beloved wife, who was carrying his baby.

You were now three months pregnant, your belly shaped into a cute bump. You both agreed to not know about the gender of your baby till it finally arrives, therefor, whenever you went to a sonography you only asked the doctor if the baby was ok and refused to gain any more information. You were feeling sick a while ago so Dazai hurried to the hospital to show you to a doctor, and now you were waiting for the result.

The doctor smiled at Dazai's worried face and put the sonography results on the desk. "You're very attentive toward your wife's health condition, but these kind of problems are common during pregnancy. I'll give you some medicine to kill the pain, though I assure you, all four of them are fine"

"Thank you so much, doc—"

You suddenly froze. Looking at your husband and catching a glimpse of his shocked face, you turned your face toward the doctor. "How... How many?"

"Ah, you're carrying triplets, right?"

Shit.

"T-there has to be some kind of mistake, sir" You were now stuttering over your words and Dazai was still silently staring at the doctor with the same expression. "I mean we didn't want to know anything about our baby until it's born but— TRIPLETS? MY FUCKING VAGINA IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"I'll... give you a minute..."

As the doctor left the room, you covered your mouth with your hand. "Aren't you going to say something...?"

"I... guess we'll have to ask Kunikida to be the godfather..."

"So that we raise the kids with his money?"

"Yeah"

"Well, sounds like a plan"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Sob* this cake is sob* delicious..."

Chuuya had always had a hard time understanding people around him since they were all a bunch of weirdos, and ever since you showed him the result of your pregnancy test, he couldn't really get you either.

"Yeah... I would have believed you if you weren't crying while eating it" He shook his head with disappointment as he reached for the cake tray, but you snatched it away and shot him a threatening look. "DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY CAKES. THEY'RE ALL MINE!"

"Ok ok, geez..."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Nothing! Eat your cakes!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I eat my cakes whenever I want to!"

"Do whatever you want y/n"

You shoved the rest of the cakes in your mouth, and your sobs got even louder. "I'm sob* gonna get nom nom* fat... Waaaa this is so tasty... sob*"

Chuuya thought of leaving the room, but that could make you even angrier.

"It's all your fault that I'm fat since you're the one who got me pregnant in the first place!"

"I'm not complaining baby doll, you look even prettier like this..."

"SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO BE FAT?"

"My god that's not what I fucking meant!"

During these few months, you had become overly sensitive and moody. He really was the one to blame— Chuuya did knew that; but sometimes he lost control and snapped out, like now. Though the second he saw your teary eyes, he sighed and leaned to plant a kiss on your cheek. "I'm sorry honey... What can I do to make you feel better?"

"...More cakes please?"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

You were lying on the couch and Fyodor was sitting on the floor with his head on your belly, wearing a soft smile that made your heart flutter. He had become extra sweet with you since the day you got pregnant, so despite all the pain and trouble you were going through, you didn't want these days to be over.

"Are you sure she's going to kick?" he held your hand gently and lightly kissed your palm.

"Positive. I mean, I kinda have the feeling... You know, motherly instinct and stuff..."

"Then I shall wait a little longer" He closed his eyes and started stroking your hand with his thumb. You couldn't help but to reach out for his cheek with your free hand to caress it, and you almost died when he leaned to your touch.

"Fedya..." "I love you too, my darling"

Then it happened.

A light kick indirectly hitting his head, announcing her presence to her daddy.

Fyodor smiled, a dazzling one that was rare and charming to the eye, and looked at your belly. "My... Our baby is a wild one. That was one aggressive kick"

"I'm sure she's just impatient" Giggling softly, you patted your belly. "She's not aggressive, she only wants to arrive soon. Our baby will be an angel"

"She will be; she takes after her mother, after all"

You closed your eyes at the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, thankful for your lovely family. You went through a lot to get to this moment, but you could never regret it even one bit. Not when you have Fyodor, and your soon-to-be-born baby.

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Safe and sound sleeps had always been a stranger to Akutagawa. Growing up in the slums, he had to sleep with his eyes open so that he would be ready when a threat came along; and even though he was not living in the slums anymore, he still couldn't get much of a sleep.

You wouldn't let him.

"Ryuu" You shook him lightly, watching as his nose scrunched up with annoyance. He seemed put out and he didn't even open his eyes, talking to you with a low, husky voice. "What?"

"I want fried chicken"

You observed him as his eyes shot open and stared at your serious face with disbelief. He looked kind of shocked, and you wondered if he was familiar with the term "Craving".

"Y/n it's 4am" He sounded unsure. "All of the stores have closed by now"

"I'm pregnant with a seven months old baby Ryuunosuke, I don't care if it's 4am"

"Well I'm not going out right now either" He closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep; but your sudden remark suddenly sobered him up.

"Fine then, I guess I'll just have to eat you instead of the chicken"

Your tone was not humorous, nor it was threatening. It was more like you were announcing your next steps if you don't get your way.

"I don't think I'm enough to satisfy you. I'm all bones, barely any flesh"

"Then I'll eat your sister. She's not as skinny as you. She's living next door, isn't she?"

Looking at you again, Akutagawa searched for a hint of humor in your eyes to confirm that you were joking; but all he saw was a dangerous gaze, shooting out of a hungry, pregnant woman's vicious eyes.

"...I'll go get my coat"

↳Doppo Kunikida

"Y/n? Where are you?"

Hearing your husbands voice, you get up and exit the bedroom to greet him at the front door of your apartment. You announced your pregnancy to him last night, making him thrilled to bits. After celebrating with you, he had started planning out the ideal schedule for the nine months ahead. He had left you hours ago to go shopping for necessary items, and now he was finally back.

"Welcome home, Anata" You pecked him on the cheek. "So? What did you buy? Lemme see them"

The blonde smiled and took your hand, dragging you inside the living room to sit on the couch. He then started taking his purchases out of the shopping bags, explaining about them with slight excitement.

"This is a medicine to help you stop vomiting, this device is baby sleep that would inform us when the baby wakes up in it's room, and these are some clothes that I bought for the baby. I tried to buy neutral clothes since we still don't know the gender of our baby"

"Oh Doppo, I think it's still too soon to buy some of these" You chuckled and took the small shirt to have a better look of it. Its small size made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were having a baby that probably looked like your husband. You finally had a family of your own. Nothing could stop you from being happy. Nothing...

"And these are for when your body gets bigger"

You looked at the pregnancy pants in his hands. "When my body gets bigger?"

"Yes"

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM BEING HAPPY.

"Your ankles are gonna swell, your breast are gonna get bigger, even your face might get a bit out of shape in the last month. Your cheeks might bloat as well too. There will also be stretch marks on your belly, and your vagina might dilate if you choose not to have a caesarean... ARE THOSE TEARS IN YOUR EYES??"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Making up after an argument

Fandom: Haikyuu

Pairing: Atsumu X Fem!reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff

Format: One Shot

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.9K

A/n: This was actually written months ago, but I totally forgot about it—

He doesn't understand this. He doesn't know why youre being so dramatic about something so silly. Its not like he did it intentionally, it was just an accident! He didn't put all the white clothes and other colored ones in the washing machine at the same time on purpose, he just wasn't paying attention to it!

And that was exactly what you were upset about.

He never payed attention to things he wasn't interested in. If the topic was not about volleyball, food or things like that, you would lose him the minute you start talking, and its annoying. Yes! You do understand that some things might not be attractive/interesting to him but still! He was your boyfriend! Couldn't he at least pretend that he was paying attention to you? Its not like you actually give a damn about his stupid volleyball career either! And that's exactly what you told him when you lost your temper and then realized you went too far,but he was gone before you could even apologize.

"Ya know what? Fuck ya and yer stupid clothes, y/n! "

He immediately left the apartment and didn't give you a chance to argue back, let alone say sorry; and that's why you ended up waiting for him being worried sick until 3AM, and then went to bed all alone, wondering if he has a place to crash at.

In the morning, you sigh in relief when you see him curled up on the couch. Sure, you would prefer to wake up next to him on the bed when his breathings gives you goosebumps, but at least he was home. You slowly walk toward him and gently shake him, until he opens his eyes, realizing its you, and goes back to sleep again, not even bothering to say anything.

"Babe" You say, while gently moving your fingers in his hair "Go sleep on the bed, you're gonna catch a cold"

"Leave me alone" He says, putting a small pout on his lips and then turns his back to you which makes you sigh, but for a different purpose this time.

You get that hes upset, but you weren't happy either. You had every right to be mad at him, but you were also aware of the fact that you pushed the wrong button, by calling his dream of being the best setter ever "stupid". Volleyball meant the world to your boyfriend and you're not clueless about it, and that is why youre going to let him get away with it.

Just this time.

Without a warning, you move him back to the position he used to be in and let your head rest on his arm while placing his hands around you. His pout becomes even wider, and starts sending daggers at your direction, which makes you chuckle a bit. "Ok, but giving me the same look you give your brother when he eats your share of food is not gonna work" "Whatever. Ain't talkin to ya anymore" He says and then looks away from you, which leads to his eyes landing on your picture on the wall, that was taken in Paris, after they won a match. You looked happy, cheering for him while he scored four points with the help of his incredible serves. Where you just pretending? Or... Are you just not into him anymore?

"Baby! Stop thinking and just talk to me!" You whine, giving him a slight peck on the lips. When you see him remaining silent for a few seconds, you decide to be the first one to talk. "Look, honey. I'm truly sorry... Its just that I've been under a lot of pressure and I need you to be around... But you're always ditching me, saying you have to practice or hang out with your friends and I've been feeling...left out" You pause, watching as his expression becomes softer and a slight bit of guilt appears in the way he looks at you. "I... Do understand that volleyball means a lot to you, and I shouldn't have said something like that. I'm really sorry and I hope you forgive me..."

Great. Now he's feeling guilty about it.

He gets it. He knows that hes been spending more time on volleyball than with you, and he knows that it's annoying. He didn't do it on purpose, but that doesn't make it less annoying. Maybe he had gone to far too, by leaving you on read when you message him during his practices, or by getting home really late, and finding you on the couch, waiting for him.

"It's fine doll... I guess that was my bad too..." He says, before leaning toward you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You smile at his reaction, knowing that he has forgiven you already and you don't have to cry for his attention anymore. One of the things you loved about him was that he never kept you around, waiting.

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

What if I...

—You make a tempting, unexpected offer; how are they going to react?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, mentions of giving blowjobs (whether it'll happen or not is up to you lol), unstablished relationship (you're just friends, but are you..?), rushed writing

Genre: Humor

Format: Drabble

Word Count: 1.6K

↳Osamu Dazai"

Listen y/n..." Dazai cooes at you. "I'm a little bit busy with... uh, work; so I don't think I'll be able to accompany you on this mission"

Shaking your head to the side with frustration, you bend a little on the desk, gazing into his Hazel eyes to show your desperation "Oh c'mon Dazai! You're not seriously gonna make me go to this tiresome mission by myself?! They're all politicians! It's gonna be boring as hell!"

The pile of paperwork on his desk are making you question your eyesight, but you know Dazai better than that. He probably saw it coming so he placed them there on purpose to prove his point.

...Not that it could exactly be called a "point".

"Listen..." Your voice is so low that only Dazai can hear it. "There must be some way for me to change your mind"

His expression doesn't change one bit, still looking through the documents for nothing, pretending to be occupied. "Sorry to burst your bubbles, but I really can't—"

"What if I suck your dick?"

Eyes shooting you a shocked gaze and hands staying still, it seems like he's completely lost interest in the paperwork. He's looking through your soul and the moment his lips start moving, you know you've won the battle.

"For... for real?" "Yes, for real"

The surprised face is all gone and instead, there's a totally new face now; a smug face of a man who's gonna team up with you for the mission and get a little prize in the end.

"So when do we leave?"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Listen Chuuya, with great looks comes great responsibility. There's a reason why you're this hot!"

The red-haired man looked away as an attempt to hide his flustered face, his voice still gravely. "Stop it y/n. I'm not gonna be your model for the photoshoot"

"Why not? You're the perfect choice!" "The answer's no! Get over it"

"Hmph! You're no fun" You crossed your arms and pouted as you leaned to the chair. You couldn't make heads or tails of it. Why was he so against being your model? You were just gonna take a few photos of him wearing casual clothes and maybe some light makeup. It was for your photography class and you were supposed to take a pic of somebody under the rays of sunset. With Chuuya's red hair and blue eyes, it would be a breath taking pic. He just looked so pretty under the sun.

As Chuuya took the bottle to sip from it, you found yourself desperate enough to give it one last shot.

"What if I suck your dick as a payment?"

And then the explosion happened. Chuuya's hand snapped, the bottle fell on the floor and drops of wine literally squirted out of his mouth. He was coughing so strongly that you rushed over and started hitting him in the back like he was some kind of ketchup bottle. His face was crimson red, but whether it was from choking or embarrassment, you couldn't really tell.

When he finally came down and caught his breath, he placed his hand on his chest and looked at you with eyes the same size as a baseball, meanwhile you looked at him miserably with the word "sorry" written all over your face.

"So... is that a yes?" "NO!"

Well, at least you nearly killed him.

↳Jouno Saigiku

"Ok I don't know why you're refusing. I'm just giving you the opportunity to make up for your mean attitude by doing something nice! You know, to go to heaven, like me and other nice people, Teccho for example"

Jouno was still expressionless. He merely sipped his cup of coffee and placed his hat on the table. "I appreciate the offer, but after a lifetime we definitely need a break from each other"

"Ugh you jerk! C'mon it's a piece of cake for you! You've arrested plenty of people before! You're smart, you're strong and I came to you for help which shows that I'm really desperate!"

Your relationship with Jouno was... questionable. He teased you, had a tendency to piss you off all the time, but somehow you were friends. The weirdest type of friendship that had ever existed, probably.

"I can see that. See I do wanna help you out, but I just love seeing the new you"

Shaking your head to the side, you leaned back to the couch. A hard case was given to you and you really didn't want to blow it up, but you needed help, and everyone else were busy. Except for your horrible friend here.

"Jouno, Jouno, Please..." You took his left, gloved hand. "I need you! I'll do anything in return! I'll team up with you and insult Teccho for a whole year! I'll write every one of your reports! I'll even suck your d—"

Jouno didn't hear your voice anymore. In fact, the only thing heard in the room was pure silence, and of course your heartbeat.

You were shocked.

He got his hand out of your grasp, placing it next to your head. His other hand found its way to your lips, softly caressing them. Meanwhile you didn't say a word, just stared at his handsome face and swallowed your saliva.

"Hypothetically, if I help you out, how far would you go to make it up to me?"

Forget about your friendship. You weren't that close anyway.

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm going to go to my parents' with my boyfriend tonight"

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, dear" Fyodor tilted his head to the side to gaze at you.

"I don't! That's where you come in!"

Nikolai exchanged a look between your nervous expression and Fyodor's smile, and pouted. "Hey! Why didn't you ask me instead?"

"Yeah yeah, if I ever wanted to give them a heart attack you'd be the first person I'll go to" You sighed and looked back at Fyodor. "So? Would you please help me out?"

Fyodor was sitting next to you on a chair. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Ah... I'm not sure about that. Wouldn't it make our relationship awkward?"

"No! No not at all!" Your voice was rushed and shaky. "You see you're the perfect choice for this"

"Hmph!"

"Shut up Nikolai. I mean, you're tall, you know how to talk to people— in a satisfying way, ah, you know what I mean, you're handsome, you have very pretty hair, you have the most beautiful violet eyes I can stare at until forever..."

His brattish smirk made you shut up and give a few embarrassed coughs. Your flushed cheeks weren't exactly helping you out at the moment.

"Eh... So you're the best in many ways... Now, would you please help me out?"

Fyodor gave Nikolai-who was also smirking- a meaningful look, and his smirk got broader. "I will think about it"

"What's there to think about? You get to have a free dinner and also have a great time! My dad has the same taste in books as you! I'll even suck your dick at the end!"

You suddenly shut up and stared at the two men with eyes the same size as a racket ball. Now there was also two pare of knitted eyebrows along with the smirks. Nikolai's winking and muttering "Yeah baby" didn't help you loosen up at all.

Fyodor leaned closer until the phrase "personal space" lost its meaning, staring at you. His pretty eyes were sparkling, making it harder to steal your gaze from them. His voice was as gentle as the sea breeze, the perfect melody to caress your ears.

"So... I'll get to date the most beautiful girl in the world, spend a whole night with her and then get something afterwards?"

You were so drowned in your thoughts that you couldn't utter a single word. This moment was magical, making you wonder if he were going to seal your lips with his, totally forgetting about Nikolai's presence.

...Until he started talking.

"Do you guys want me to leave the room? Cause there's no way I'm doing that"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"...Which is why clowns are so fragile and have strong emotions!"

You shook your head with disappointment. "Yeah yeah, get it. But that doesn't answer my question"

"What was your question anyway?"

Ugh.

"Would you please babysit my cousins with me?"

"Hahaha! I remember now!" His face brightened with joy. "Well, no"

You leaned closer to him miserably. "Oh c'mon Kolya!"

"Sorry dove, I just don't get along with children. Not a fan"

"But they're triplets Kolya! I can't handle them on my own!" At this point you were literally begging. "Pretty please?"

"Triplets? Ha! Another reason for me to say no"

Well, that was it. You were going to be alone with your naughty cousins for four hours and then hand a burned house and probably only one of the boys back to your aunt because you lost the other two.

"Unless..."

Ah! There's still some hope left.

"You offer me something in return?"

Nikolai's face was dangerously close to yours. His smile was bright, but his intention didn't seem to be. Although that didn't scare you. It only made your body numb with excitement and through your clouded mind, you somehow put two and two together and blurted something out.

"Eh... What if.. What if I suck your di— Woah Nikolai what are you doing?"

A chuckle left his mouth as if something simple had happened, but this wasn't simple. He had just lifted you up and was carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

"You took the hint all by yourself. How about that, my naughty dove?"

"K— Kolya! Where are you taking me?"

Your red cheeks only made his smile broader. "We're gonna get your clothes changed, go to your aunt's aweful house, babysit your horrible cousins, and then get ready for a night of fun"

↳Sigma

"So... How's the best manager in the world?"

Sigma's stare was still pointed at the documents. "I'm not planning a birthday party for your friend y/n"

"What are you talking about?" You smiled cunningly, lightly caressing his arm from the other side of the desk. "Can't I just compliment my incredible friend? Who happens to be an expert in planning and managing stuff?"

When you two first met, he used to get flustered by your flattering comments, but now Sigma's eyebrows only jumped in surprise. "You... can, but it won't change my mind"

"Pretty please?" Dropping the act, you got up from your seat and stood next to him, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. "I really need your help. I don't have a clue about this and you're the only one I know"

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm caught up with work. You know that the casino is very busy this time of year, there's nothing I can do"

You sighed and sat on the chair again, desperately thinking about a way to convince him. What would make men do women a favor...

"What if I suck you dick?"

Sigma was still staring at the documents, which made you wonder if he had heard you, but his eyes were not the same. They were widened. He slowly lifted his head and looked at you like he was about to chop off his hand and stick it down his ass, and that made you finally realize it.

"Oh I forgot that you're three years old! I mean you haven't even hit puberty yet. Oops. My bad"

Yeah, Sigma needed new friends.

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

Tag List:

@pussydrunkfyodor @h8kolya @exhausted-doll @rosasensibles @nekokinax @paperllama @the-foreigner @arsonklee @fayenfim @c4xcocoa @asqmi @blueberry-writer @ryokuryuu @ayladove @sinfullysophiastrange @sugarcherryemo @whossuzy @sigmazcasino @linn-a-a @uottani @ilovechuuyaa @ezraiix @aeshiiteiru @dreamcastgirl99 @bestiewhat

Want to be added to my bsd tag list?

Sex with Atsushi would be animal harassment.

Sex with Ranpp would be pedophilia.

Until the next discoveries goodbye🚶🏻‍♀️

Love Like Cherry Blossoms

—Osamu Dazai X Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n is a normal citizen with a normal life. Everything in her life goes as planned; work, home, eat, sleep and back to work; but things suddenly change when she switches bodies with a member of the ADA, by accident.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Smut, Fantasy, Humor

Warnings: Mentions of male genitals, Coming out of coma, Body swapping

Word Count: 1.5K

A/n: This chapter is based on the webtoon "Turn to prince charming", which is where I got the original idea from. It's available on webcomics if you're interested!

Series Masterlist ⇝ Part Two

Vacuity.

It's what you've been feeling for... How long? You're not exactly sure, but it seems to be quite a while from the looks of it.

This place seems... Unfamiliar. Numb, senseless, and disturbing. You're floating around in a blank space you don't recognize, the light is blocking your vision and no matter how much you struggle, you can't move a single inch. This torpidness is illogically painful, you want to cry but there's no such thing as tears coming out of your eyes. It's only fear, tediousness, and irritation. But what hurts the most is...

You don't know what to do to free yourself from this nightmare.

Wake up.

It's a new voice coming from behind, and it feels so holy that you almost think it's a figment of your imagination and turn a blind eye to it; but you keep hearing it continuously. It's calling out to... You probably, since you're the only one who's present; but that's why you're confused.

Someone else has stepped into this dismal dimension.

...Actually, no; he was probably here from the beginning. He's been watching you from the very start, and after all the time you tried to run away from the blinding lights, now he wants to offer you a hand and help you out.

About time.

You look around, desperately searching for any sign of life and moving thing, but there's no one here except you, yet the voice doesn't stop echoing in the space.

Wake up.

You want to take his hand and run away with him, but you can't see any hand stretched out to hold yours and help you up. His voice comes from a very close distance, like he's whispering it next to your ear. Even though you cant see him, it doesn't scare you; it caresses your soul, comforts your broken heart, and kisses your spiritual scars.

You want to see your savior.

You cry out for him. Your throat stings and you cry out again and again, but nothing changes; except for his sentence becoming longer.

You should wake up.

And that's when you finally meet his cold, gorgeous hazel eyes; and through his bright, rueful smile, you suddenly realize the truth.

He isn't your savior.

He's just another victim.

"I know that it hurts, but you need to wake up"

When your eyes finally shoot open, the lights in the room bothers you again; but in the brief second you caught a glimpse of the room, you recognize the white walls, a packet of serum hanging on a metal pile, and the figure of a white haired boy sitting next to your bed, dozing off.

A hospital.

But I don't know this person.

You look around the room for any sign of familiarity, but when you don't find anything again, a frustrated sigh escapes you lips.

Well, at least I can move around now.

Careful not to wake the man up, you get out of the bed and drag the metal pile with you to a door you assume is the bathroom, which turns out to be right when you open it. You feel a bit dizzy that might be actually the result of your long coma; but there's another strange thing as well;

you're taller than you used to be.

Shaking your head to the side, you shrug your shoulders and unzip your pants to get rid of the pressure coming from your full bladders; but just as you're about to sit on the toilet, something new catches your eye.

A penis.

You giggle lightly and take a look at your member again. People were right! It sure is small when it's not erected. It has the same color as your skin and It kind of looks weird too... But at least it's shaved! Not completely though... But you can work with this too. And also...

Now you can pee while standing up!

Maybe life is showing its kind side to you again.

You mumble your favorite song as you take a piss, excited when it goes right inside the toilet. You're so good at aiming! If there was ever a competition about who can shoot their urine right inside the toilet, you probably would have been the winner, although this is actually the first time you're trying this out.

Wait.

You look at the penis again, and your blood freezes in your veins, because the last time you checked, you were definitely a woman.

Did you... get gender bent? Maybe they had to... turn you into a guy to save your life? What a pile of nonsense! Even if that's true...

Why are you taller than before?

You get up as fast as you can and run toward the mirror, and when you look at yourself, you're met with a foreign face of a brunette man with dashing looks. What shocks you more is his eyes, the same eyes you saw before you regain consciousness. You later realize that the voice you heard before is also his; but now, all you try to do is to scream, which results in a strident sound reminding you that sadly, men can't scream, and also in two people barging inside the bathroom- one of them is the one you saw earlier, and the other one is a white haired young boy, who's wearing an expression like he's been worried sick.

"Dazai? What's going on?"

Dazai?

As the taller man speaks up, you wonder if you recall knowing anyone named "Dazai", who you've been mistaken for. But maybe this isn't a mistake after all- maybe it's time for you to face the truth;

that you've switched bodies with some guy you don't even know.

Yet you still got a question to answer.

Looking at the blonde's stressed face, you bite your bottom lip with discomfort and let out a worried gasp.

"I... I have a penis, and I look hot"

His teeth grit.

"No Kunikida! Don't hit him!"

Dazai on the other hand, is having the time of his life.

"C'mon ladies! What are you afraid of? Hug me a bit tighter!"

Your friends share a confused look between each other and tighten their grip around whom they assume is you, but is actually a perverted man with handsy manner.

"Ahhhhh, I nearly died. What a tragedy indeed! Aren't you all happy that I've survived? You can express your happiness by giving me a kiss, you know. I won't mind it at all~"

For someone who's been in a coma for nearly two weeks, Dazai sure is energetic. The doctors were all so taken aback that they got him a blood test to check if he's feeling alright or not, but everything was normal, except for his behavior. Well, yours, to be specific. Your friends have never seen you so... weird; yet they don't say anything because you're back, and that's all that matters. Nearly.

Dazai is feeling blessed. At first he was disappointed since he was literally at death's door but somehow survived; but all those negative feelings faded away when he looked down and saw two pair of boobs on his body. His lips curled up into a wide smirk, and then called out for the people outside, bringing him to his current situation.

One of your friends caresses his hair and looks at him with pure concern. "Y/n... Are you really ok? We wanted to sue that scumbag who hit you with his car, but he also got lapsed into a coma and we weren't sure if you wanted us to... "

Scumbag? Oh! They're talking about him.

"No need to do that, pretty! I'm sure he's a decent man with pure heart and killer looks— besides, accidents happen, right?"

"Oh? Sure... Apparently he's waken up too by the way! You might not wanna sue him but we can go to his room and kick that careless ass of his! Why don't you wanna sue him anyway? These careless people piss me off— he nearly took your life!"

Dazai feels a tiny bit guilty. All he wanted to do was to mess with Kunikida, and what better way than stealing the key of his new car? Although he was caught in the act and had to turn on the engine in order to run away from a shouting, raged Kunikida, forgetting the fact that he doesn't know how to drive a car. He eventually lost control of the car and all he thought of doing was to pull up the car, to avoid crashing into anything.And of all people, you had to run in the middle of the road.

All Dazai saw before his head hit the windscreen was you, collapsing on the ground, your head getting struck against the street corner.

"No need... Actually, if his colleague— or whatever, comes here, shoo him away somehow. Tell him that he's one hundred percent forgiven but I don't want to see them ever again, ok? Especially if the guy's name was Kunikida"

Right. For now, all he should do is relax, enjoy himself and avoid everyone until things get calmer.

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