Peter: Understanding Is So Demeaning, And It's Unfair.

Peter: Understanding is so demeaning, and it's unfair.

Scott: How come, bug-bro?

Peter: Why does it have to be understanding? Why can't it be over-standing? Or top-standing, heck, above-standing! Same with outstanding! Why not in-standing?! Confront?! Why not conback!

Tony: Kiddo, I love the passionate enthusiasm and.. desire for.. erm, equality that you have. However, don't you think that's a bit outrageous—

Peter, affronted: SEE?? WHY NOT INRAGEOUS INSTEAD OF OUTRAGEOUS?!

Peter, high on coffee: I'm shitting, crying, throwing up, stepping on nails, and fucking fighting god

Harley: I only shit and cry, you’re a talented multitasker.

Tony, who walked into their convo: What the fuck, you two?

Peter: Hey, Mr. Strange, sir?

Stephen: Doctor Strange, Peter. It is not a made-up name.

Peter: Oh okay, Mr. Doctor Strange sir.

Stephen: *sigh* What is it?

Peter: When we put candles on a cake, does it summon some sort of demon that decides based on their mood to grant our wish or do the complete opposite of it?

Stephen: ..I believe the lessons of mystic arts didn't cover this.

Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.

Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.

Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.

Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?

Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?

[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]

Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.

Peter, biting his lip and looking down:

Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.

Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—

Interrogator:

Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!

May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!

Tony trying to help Morgan create a poem for homework while sleep-deprived: A day without sunshine is like, you know..

Peter, equally as sleep-deprived: Night.