Anyone Else Ever Feel Like Youre Faking Because Of How Many Alters Are In Your System??? Blue And I Feel

Anyone else ever feel like you’re faking because of how many alters are in your system??? Blue and I feel like that a lot and then we look at each other and go:

“We’ve literally had full blown conversations with these people. We literally cannot control them.”

But like… we’re nearly 400 alters (that we’re aware of). We feel really… unnaturally big. Anyone else feel this way?? Because we know they’re all real and not imaginary. But like… it’s still weird. Y’know??

-🩶👻

singlets treat fictives like actual human beings challenge: impossible!!

(i swear to fucking god i'm going to lose it)

Any other hosts feel this… immense need for control that makes it so you never leave the front? No matter how badly you know it’ll be ok and you know your headmates are trustworthy and absolutely capable.

Because I often have a very hard time letting go of front and allowing myself to let others take control. The last time I talked about doing that, I was screamed at not to by a (now realized to be emotionally abusive/manipulative) ex-friend. But I know it’ll be ok. But I can’t seem to let my headmates take control without me at least partially present/in co because there is just this overwhelming anxiety that something will happen the moment I let my guard down.

The second I allow my guard to slip, shit will hit the fan. That’s how I feel 24/7. My headmates keep telling me it’s ok and that they understand. They all say they understand and that they will be there to help quell that anxiety as best they can because they know I’m so tired of being in the front constantly.

But that fear is still so fucking present.

Do any other hosts (or alters who aren’t designated as hosts but stay in front a lot) feel this? And does that anxiety ever go away?

-🍓

Subject was found dead at 08:37 Saturday, December 18 in her apartment. Search history leading up to her death can be found here:

Dec 18 00:05 - I don’t have much time please help me they found me

Dec 17 23:47 - How to write your will

Dec 17 23:15 - Demon repelling rituals

Dec 17: 22:37 - Demon hunting items from around your house

Dec 17 22:35 - Demon hunting equipment

Dec 16 18:39 - Signs of demonic possession in children

Dec 16 18:38 - Vomiting blood, unnatural contorsion, bloodshot eyes, levitation

Dec 16 18:12 - Fever of 203°F possible?

Dec 15 18:01 - Home remedies for common cold

Dec 12 10:38 - Religious children programs

Dec 12 02:30 - How to help your misbehaving child

Dec 12 02:09 - Is it normal for your 11 year old to bite another child?

Dec 12 01:45 - Juvenile detention punishments

The victim’s child has not yet been located.

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

This is me btw if anyone cares ;p

-🧸

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!

Most of this system’s FAVORITE holiday!

All art drawn by Blue!

Everyone’s costumes are:

Horror🪓: Vampire

Blue🍓: Witch

Error🧵 and Ink🖌️: Senpai and Yandere

Dream☀️ and Nightmare🌑: Each other

Killer🎯: Scream

Sophie🐹: Carrie

Simon📖: Book Simon/Demon🩸

Sans🛏️: Do I really need to say it? His shirt says “This is my Halloween Costume”

My husband Toast🍞 and Me🩶👻: Simon📖 and Blue🍓 because I like mocking my twin/fellow host and we got permission

David💊 and Simon⛈️: Their sources/themselves because both got lazy but wanted to participate.

Overall, we love Halloween here in this system! Enjoy Blue’s art of some of us who wanted to be drawn!

-🩶👻