Just a nerdy lady wanting to help people. My inbox is open day or night to anyone. You’re never a bother so don’t hesitate to to say hi if you need to! My asks are open as well if you would like advice or help with anything specific (21 years old; snapchat:AskCashapp: Floss0427Insta: DommeSatisfaction)
36 posts
Caregiver-to-all - Care Giver To All - Tumblr Blog
Just found it funny that this is casual conversation for me and my friends. I’ve also been called “The Mom That Gives”. Being the mom friend is so nice. Anyways I’m all settled into the new place for the most part. I should be back to posting soon but I’m also still looking for a job so when that happens I might have to slow down a bit. I’ve seen a few people saying their ask box isn’t working so if you’ve sent me an ask or a message and haven’t gotten any sort of reply then please contact me on my kik: Freshie_Fangirl or my Snapchat by the same name. That’s all for now, be good, be safe, and have fun!
Hey guys. I had to go on a bit of a hiatus to fix a few things in my life and help a few friends get through some things. I hope to be posting again soon but I am currently on a road trip and I have a convention after that and then I’m moving for college so I’ve got a lot to do between now and mid July but after that I should be back to our regularly scheduled program. Still feel free to message me or send me asks, I really do love answering those, and I will be active as much as possible besides full on posting. This is caregiver signing out, be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Just out of curiosity
to celebrate reaching 1k, ill be doing blog rates! i will only be rating sfw blogs!
ill rate your blog if you:
• follow me
• reblog this post
• send me an ask asking for a blog rate
ill be using:
url: its okay | cute | great | perfect | i want it
icon: its okay | cute | great | perfect | i want it
posts: its okay | cute | great | perfect | i want it
theme: its okay | cute | great | perfect | i want it
overall: its okay | cute | great | perfect | i want it
following?: no, but i love u! | i am now! | yes
i will be following most of these blogs!! also im sorry if im not harsh? enough but i rly love a lot of these blog sjodjsd
Me too, that’s what I thought it was going to be and now it just pisses me off. I’ve read so many amazing bdsm books that would be perfect representations of the community and sadly they’ll never see the light of day as a published book. I’ll post a list of you guys want. That way you at least have something to give you hope haha.
But like imagine if there was a gfd version of 50 Shades except instead of the dom being an abusive and manipulative asshole who in reality doesn’t give a shit about the subs safety or mental health, they were instead sweet and loving and respectful and actually followed the basic rules of a real dom/sub relashionship …and instead of an annoying, self obsorbed pushover, the sub was actually portrayed as an individual who is smart and understanding and respectful and is not afriad of the dom. ….I’d read that book so fast
Subdrop
For the multi-roll labeling purpose today I’m going to refer to it as Drop. Drop happens usually after an intense scene but can also happen after any scene if it was particularly pleasurable and draining. Drop is the result of your brain releasing “happy chemicals” and adrenaline in large doses during a scene and then your body and mental state going through a withdrawal essentially because they are not coming in at such high doses after the scene has ended. For subs it usually happens within a day or two of the scene. However, for doms it could be several days before it kicks in and really hits you. It’s especially bad for subs and doms with anxiety or self doubt. I will be covering both subdrop and domdrop today because they are both very real and could potentially be very dangerous.
Subdrop-
Subdrop tends to happen a day or two after a scene. It does not always happen but those no real way to guarantee it won’t happen so it’s good to keep an eye out for it any time. There are a lot of different ways it can show up. Let’s talk about the physical things first
- It can show up as feeling like a hangover
- like you stayed up too late (even if you got more than enough sleep)
- you could wake up feeling just off
- Drop can be associated with feelings of loneliness, mental and physical exhaustion, confusion, insecurity, tremors and many other physical symptoms.
Not so random fact: pain can make you tired. You’re going to feel it and it’s going to wear your energy down, and your body is going to be short on chemicals to give you a boost. This can make you crash and suddenly become exhausted, and being tired can make you emotional.
Honestly, the emotional side is the more dangerous half. Emotions can wreak havoc on our logic,you could be great one minute like normal, then suddenly you’re completely out of it and it can be mental torture.
- you could feel abandoned
- Depression(especially if you already have it on a daily basis)
- Even feeling unloved is common during subdrop.
Subdrop can not be prevented or avoided entirely. You can try but there’s no sure fire way to do so. Here’s how to help subdrop:
- If you can get to your dom and they can help you calm down and reassure you with cuddles and words that works fairly well for most people.
- COMMUNICATION( I really can not say that enough) Text or call your Dom as soon as possible.
- if you can’t get a hold of them, you need to stop and evaluate.
- Remind yourself that sub drop is normal
- remind yourself of what happened during and after the session.
- There should have been some type of aftercare, go back to that moment and stay there.
- Remember how loved you felt, hold on to the fact that your dom cares for you.
- Take your self to a happy place with happy and positive thoughts
If you’re feeling a little emotional, think of what makes you feel better when you’re sick (because you kind of are). A warm blanket, a bubble bath, candy, a favorite drink, music, etc. If you are someone who likes to journal, keep a notebook with you to write out how you feel to get the words out and down, this might also help you clear your head before you talk to your Dom.
Okay I know I was supposed to have this up a while ago but I had several things come up. I just recently got a new job and that’s been taking up a lot more of my free time which was sparse enough since I try to meet with my friends often. As you can see this only covers subdrop. I’m not confident in the level of research I’ve been able to do on domdrop and don’t want to give vague or incorrect information to you guys. I’ll try to get it done soon but no promises. I will also be at daughters of the moon which is a Wiccan event this weekend so contact and any sort of posting will be delayed until at least Monday. As always be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Dom Drop and Sub Drop
Okay lovelies I will be covering subdrop AND domdrop tomorrow. It’s gonna be long. It’s gonna be extensive but if there’s anything you feel should definitely be in there or an experience you’ve personally had with either of them and you want me to add what helped you or how you knew what was going on or the symptoms you feel need to be covered let me know!!!! Either through anon or messages my inbox is always open but with such a serious topic I want to make sure I cover every base possible. Thank you for all your help lovelies!! Be good, be safe, and have fun!
What caregivers really do after bedtime haha.
Safe words!
We’re talking safewords words today kiddos. In my opinion, they are one of the most important aspects in this community next to communication but they also go hand in hand. A safeword is a word used during a scene or 24/7 sub/dom (and the nsfw side of cg/l) dynamic. It needs to be something you would never accidentally say while in the moment or just in everyday life.
Common Safe words-
* green for go
* Yellow for slow down or need a break
* Red for stop immediately
I refer to this as coloring out and I’ve seen the term used a lot in the community. I believe that while doing an intense scene or pushing your subs limits you should check on them throughout by asking their color.
Other Safeword suggestions
* pineapple
* Unicorn
* Dragon
* Freeze
* Mango
* Phone number (from a book. It’s actually sad)
* Ladybug
* Apple
* Drop
The list could go on and on and on. It just has to be a random word that will get your doms attention quickly. Doms who do not listen to safe words are to be avoided at all costs. This is very bad and very dangerous for the submissive, safewords are there to protect you. Not to be taken lightly.
Those are verbal safewords, if the sub can not speak for this or that reason then there are still ways to give them the ability to safeword.
* hold a ball in your hand. Drop it to safeword.
* A small metal bar, drop to safeword
* Tap a designated spot on your body
* Clap( if possible)
* If not, shake your hands(like jazz hands)
* A button strapped to the subs palm, press it so it makes an alerting noise
These can also go on and on. It is really just what works for you and what will get your doms attention efficiently.
A fair amount of new subs or subs with a new dominant do not like to safeword because they feel it makes them look weak, this is absolutely not the case. Safewords are always appropriate whenever they are needed! Do not force yourself to do something you are not comfortable with to please anyone! They are meant to keep you safe, comfortable, and happy.
That’s all for today. Be good, be safe, and have fun!
Another list of rules and suggestions since a lot are not on mine. Still making my next post so this is all for today. I’m just skulking around cgl blogs for the night for things that need to be s said. Be good, be safe, and have fun!
Master List of Rules for Littles
A follower of ours asked us if we knew of a master list of rule Ideas for Caregivers to enforce for their littles. So we are going to post this and hopefully those of you starting out in a CGL relationship helpful.
Why are rules important for littles?:
Sometimes when a little is deep in their little space they forget to do the every day things that need to get done. SOMETIMES we need reminders of the things we need to do. Having rules helps us know what needs to be accomplished and with a reward system in place it can be super productive.
RULE IDEAS:
Clean your room
Make your bed daily
Clean up Dishes
Brush your hair
Bathe/Shower/Shave/Hygiene
Drink Water
Eat 2 healthy meals (follow diet plan if one is in place)
Color 1 picture
Read 2-3 chapters in a book - work on reading list
Finish Homework
Make sure Work is done
Journal
Clean up after Pet
Exercise
Plan outfit for the next day
Work on DIY project/craft project
Make a weekly calendar/schedule
Make sure bills are paid
Cook a Meal
Do Laundry
Finish Chores
Completing Errands
No Play time without Caregiver’s Say So
Wearing certain Clothes/styles
Diaper Time
Paci Time
Taking Medication daily
Self Care
Keeping up with Therapy
Going to Appointments
Brush your Teeth
Put away clothing/folding laundry
Go for a walk
Track Food Diary
Log fitness App information
These are all suggestions, and hopefully these help you come up with some of your own! xoxo The Caregiver & Little Advice Team
This is so important for so many people to see. You are important. You are worthy. You are deserving of happiness. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
hey
hey friend
dont kill yourself tonight ok
you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again
youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep
Self Acceptance
Acceptance is different for many people. Sometimes it’s easy to accept yourself and your habits, wants, or needs. For others, it may not be so easy. I have never really thought of it before because I am one of those people where it comes very easily to me. However a few days ago someone needing my help came to me about a little space need not sitting well with them outside of their headspace even though they needed it to be happy and that’s what I’m explaining today.
*happiness
Happiness is something that most everyone desires, needs even to make it through their day to day life. However, if we stop our selves from being happy because what makes us happy is a little off putting then we are only making it worse for ourselves. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with wanting to be happy. It’s like having a favorite food combo that everyone finds weird or even you find weird and not enjoying it even though you know it tastes amazing. Happiness is not a crime.
*acceptance
Liking something out of the ordinary is not uncommon. Everyone has their own preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. again, as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with it. If you like that pacifier at Walmart, you buy that pacifier! You like the tea set at toys r us? I’ll write the tea party invitations for you! Diapers put you in your headspace? Diaper up and giggle away! My point is that even if you think your likes, hobbies, headspace activities, or anything else you like to do is out of the ordinary, just remember that if it makes you happy, relaxes you, de stresses you, or puts you in your headspace then there’s nothing wrong with it. Not even in the slightest.
That’s all for today. I hope this is a help to anyone who needs it. If you want help with anything specific or need to talk to someone my asks and inbox are always open day or night. Be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Self Care
Self care is so important for caregivers/doms and Littles/subs alike. It is important for doms because subs depend on you to take care of them and you can not do that without taking care of yourself first. Think of it like this, an empty battery can not power something else. You need to feel good to make sure they feel good. Subs need to care for themselves because you can not always count on a dom to be able to completely care for you especially if you don’t have one.
Dom selfcare.
- let yourself relax. Take a day to just give yourself a re charge
- Take a warm bath
- Jam out to music
- Make yourself a nice meal
- Order take out and laze around in sweats with Netflix or Hulu
- Take a mid day nap
- Binge your favorite show
- Talk to someone and just let out your frustration
Sub selfcare
- Drown in your headspace and let your problems float away.
- Cuddle with your stuffies
- Make a pillow fort
- Take a bubble bath
- Stay in your jammies all day
- Eat an okay amount of sweets and junk food(something not detrimental to your health)
- Color to your hearts content
- Dance around the house to music
Everyone needs to take the occasional personal day to work on themselves and recharge. No matter what helps you do that, it’s worth it if it helps to better yourself. You can not help others if you can’t help yourself.
I know this is shorter than usual but it’s something that I felt needed to be said. Until next time Be good, stay safe, and have fun!
remember to take care of yourself <3
Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships are, in my opinion, one of the absolute hardest to make work. And make work for the long haul. There are so many things that could go wrong but when those things don’t it only makes you and your partner closer and stronger than anyone else. Let’s go over the pros and cons of general ldr first.
*pros
- you have literally an entire planet of people to pick from so you’re bound to find your soulmate somewhere
- You have a reason to save money and do better for yourself and go see somewhere new with someone you love
- Making it work will only make the both of you stronger together
- You can discover a new culture/society/ place and learn about life for your partner wherever they live
- You can teach someone new traditions and customs
- You don’t have to pay outrageous shipping fees to send them something if you get it online.
- These are only the ones I could think of. Feel free to add your own if they aren’t here!
*cons
- little to no physical contact
- Time zone differences
- You need to trust your partner 100%
- Late nights and early mornings because of time differences
- Loneliness from lack of physical contact
- Idiots butting into your personal life because they feel they know best
- The closest you can get for now is Skype calls and FaceTime
- Not being able to scare those who hurt your significant other.
You can compare those two lists and make your own assessment on which matters more. I personally prefer long distance in the beginning but once I’ve found that special person I want to spend my life with I want them as close as possible.
Now onto ldr for cg/l and d/s relationships. These include all of the pros and cons from the first two lists with a couple extra cons due to the nature of these relationships.
- ABSOLUTE TRUST. cg/l and d/s relationships already require much more trust than a vanilla or normal relationship so to do them long distance you need even more.
- Punishments are a bit of a Grey area. You have to trust that your little or submissive will follow through with them especially for the ones you really have no way of checking.
- COMMUNICATION. I don’t think I could ever say this enough but communication is so. Fluffin. Important! Long distance makes communication hard as it is so with cg/l and d/s relationships again needing even more of it than normal it becomes a huge issue a lot of times. You need to communicate any and all problems or concerns to your partner when you are long distance especially because they are not there. They can not read your body language or nervous ticks and habits from miles and miles and miles away.
Okay now onto the part where I do my best to help.
_ Skype (play)dates and scenes can be very helpful with being more connected with your partner. Get creative with those camera angles people because you’ll need it.
As far as punishments go there are a few that can be done and you can know they got done correctly.
- writing lines
- Skyping while the sub or little sits in corner time
- Dictionary definitions
- Silent treatment
- I know most of these seem childish but they are effective. If you have any more feel free to add them!
And lastly but certainly not least COMMUNICATION
-weekly talk it out sessions where once a week you both sit down and have a serious talk about your lives, thoughts, concerns, relationship, the whole shabang.
-being clear and open about what’s on your mind
-lay it all out. Don’t hide anything. It will come back to haunt you later.
That is all I have for today if you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to contact me. Be good, stay safe, and have fun!
A note to caregivers
If you’re struggling feeling like you’re not being “creative enough” or “original” when it comes to rules, punishments, rewards, or cute nicknames for your little, the simplest makes us happy and feel small. You can simply call us little one and give us a sticker or a sweet for a reward, it doesn’t need to be elaborate, or something that’s never been done before it’s special because you’re our caregiver and taking care of us. That’s it. Don’t put pressure on yourself, cuz we won’t. 💕❤️
Be safe little ones. I have yet to run into him and hope I never have to
CG/L IMPORTANT WARNING
The user @purgatory666 will get angry and harass/defame you if you don’t acquiesce to his advances. Please block him and his side blogs ( @mkxb1, @bos-fo4, @daddys-kawaii-kitten, @assassins-creed-unity and @vault111-faullout4) which he uses to continually harass people from. @purgatory666 is also known to use slurs frequently so please be careful.
Please reblog this message and help spread the word and keep the community safe.
Rules!!
Rules are the basis for many cg/l and d/s relationships. They allow for an exchange of power and give the dominant or caregiver a way to help the little or submissive grow and learn as a person. I’ve met and talked to a lot of people that have trouble making a basic rule list that works for them weather it be the dominant or submissive making it. So this is my basic list. It’s all the rules I would usually include:
1. ready for bed (shower, brush teeth, pajamas, etc) by 9pm
2. In bed and asleep by 10pm
3. No bringing harm to yourself
4. No harming others unless in self defense
5. At least two good meals a day
6. Always tell me if you will be gone for long periods of time, why, and how long. (I will never control who you hang out with, just wanna know you're safe)
7. Absolutely NO drugs or alcohol unless prescribed by a doctor.
8. Always ask for sweets.
9. No sweets after 9pm
10. Refusing to do an AGREED UPON punishment will result in a worsened punishment. (This is not saying punishments can not be taken off limits or discussed. Your feelings come first in all of this. It just serves as a warning to do what you're told when you break a rule.
11. You will never hold back on how you feel about things like rules or punishments. This is for your safety and happiness
12. You are ALWAYS allowed to come to me with any problem, concern, or worry 24/7
13. Clean your room once a week
14. No getting in trouble at school
15. No junk food unless you ask first
16. No talking bad about yourself
17. No cussing
18. Talk to me at least once a day no matter what
19. Try your best in everything
Rules vary greatly from person to person. I believe rules should always be negotiable for the submissives saftey and happiness. Making compromises that suit you both is an essential part in making this work. ALWAYS keep a clear line of communication between you and your partner. I can speak from experience that ignoring a problem or leaving it to fester will only make it worse for the both of you. I hope this helps lovelies ☺️
So I’m a little and my gf knows this. She knows I want a cg, and she’s asked if I would want her to be mine. Then she asks what to do differently and how to exactly be that, and I don’t know what to say! I get embarrassed when she’s asks, help!
Omg I’m so sorry I didn’t see this till now. I would say just talk to her. I know it’s embarrassing but communication is absolutely key to any relationship. You have to put your needs on the table and tell her how you need her to care for you. So before you talk to her make a list of your needs and wants. The rules you need to help you and the things you want out of it. It’ll take a while and you’ll have to be patient until she gets the hang of it. Start gradually and go from there. But you absolutely have to put communication first so any problems can be worked out as soon as possible. It’s great she’s willing to listen and adapt so don’t let that go to waste.
Well don’t you think you’re so sly
Let’s see
- my eyes
- my waist line
- my handwriting
- my hair sometimes
- my patience
I don’t know my followers so I don’t really have anyone to tag so I guess I tag no one but feel free to do this if you see it and keep it going.
whenever you get this you have to say five (5) things you like about yourself, publicly. then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) (:
| My ears
|The color of my ayes
| My hair
| My patience for do crafts
|My imagination
And i tag my fovorites followers
@chaotic-cat @d-structive @valkyreskye @silverwolffangirl @em-stem @septicuniverse @aceofspades-lena @septiceyecrew @andymp-blue @mai-violet
Stuffies!
Stuffies are one of the greatest gifts to ever bless this world. They come in all shapes, sizes, and species. They can be bought in large numbers and be considered a bed or mean more than anything else in the world to someone. Now, how to go about getting one:
Yard sales!
•probably the cheapest way to get stuffies
•never know what you’ll find
•they have character and a story if you think about it
• however, yard sale stuffies MUST BE WASHED! You can never tell what someone else’s house was like before they moved or had the yard sale. Carefully wash all stuffies per maker guidelines and put in a plastic bag for 24hrs or more to kill any bugs or eggs that are on or inside them. I know it’s exciting getting new stuffies but you have to be careful
Online!
• online shopping is probably the next cheapest way to buy stuffies depending on where you shop.
• some places will custom make you something
• you can find specific stuffies you want
• you can send them to your significant other without paying high shipping fees like you would through a post office
• however what you gain in prices you lose in guarantee.
• some places are scams
• some places are low quality
• you can usually avoid this by looking at reviews and other people’s purchases but nothing is 100% full proof.
Stores!
•Lastly we have stores which don’t tend to be extremely cheap but you do get to see the product in the flesh before you buy
• guaranteed quality
• you can shop specific stores for specific things
• some stores let you make and dress up your stuffie yourself
• however like with the yard sale stuffies you need to clean these unles you bought them in a sealed packaging
• lots of people go in and out of that store and put their hands on those stuffies too so it’s better safe than sorry
I really hope this was helpful! Just some stuffie tips for all you Littles and caregivers out there!
Valentine’s Care!
Hi everyone! Happy Valentines Day! Love it or hate it, it’s Valentine’s Day. Not the happiest of days for a lot of people. If you’re lucky enough to have a caregiver or little take the time today to show them how much you care! Treat them like the adorable little princes and princesses that they are. And Little’s take time today to show your caregiver how much you appreciate what they do. Be on your best behavior, color them a picture or make them something cute! Don’t think I forgot about all you single caregivers and Little’s. As much as you may or may not hate today, take this time to pamper yourself! You’ve earned it! Take a bubble bath or have a cartoon marathon with your stuffies. Just relax and take a day for yourself. You deserve it. Just a friendly reminder to everyone. My inbox is always open if you need it, I don’t bite I promise ☺️
Boost the shit out of this. Had a dog die from anti freeze poisoning by a neighbor cause she barked a lot. I couldn’t save belle but hopefully I can save someone else’s furry family member
Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.
Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.