Merlin: Do You Want To Read? It's What I Always Do When I'm Anxious.

Merlin: Do you want to read? It's what I always do when I'm anxious.

*hands Arthur his book*

Arthur: "The magical mathematics of quantum physics."

Arthur: Hm, I don't knooow...Nope. I'm good. I'll wait for the movie.

Arthur: Where's Morgana?

Merlin: Sharpening her teeth.

Arthur: Brushing.

Merlin: Brushing her teeth. Yes. Sorry.

Uther: You're not going to fight a magical monster, Arthur.

Merlin: But Arthur has such a good track record with magical monsters. Only last week he did not die after being severely wounded by one.

Uther:

Arthur: Merlin, you're not helping.

Merlin: I know. I'm not trying to.

Arthur: You wanna go for a swim?

Merlin: Nope. There are sharks in the water.

Arthur: But they are harmless?

Merlin: True, as long as you're not in the water.

Arthur: The risk of being attacked by a shark is lower than being killed by a falling coconut.

Merlin: Great, thanks. Now I don't even want to sit below that palm tree anymore.

Arthur: ...

Arthur: Merlin, that's a pine tree.

Arthur: We're at the Baltic Sea.

Merlin: Better safe than sorry.

Arthur: You know who I think is the ugliest servant in the castle?

Arthur: Merlin.

Arthur: You know what I'd give him, on a scale of 1 to 10? With 1 being the ugliest and then ten the most beautiful.

Arthur: I would give him-

Arthur: An 8

Arthur: ...

Arthur: An 8.5

Arthur: ...

Arthur: Or a 9

Arthur: Not-not over a 9.8

Arthur: Because there is always room for improvement.

Arthur:

Arthur: Not everyone's perfect like me. That's why I am holding out for a ten.

Arthur: Because I'm worth it.

Arthur: Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. Of course I'm coming with you.

Merlin: Why?

Arthur: Because the mission is dangerous. You are my friend and it's my job to protect you.

Merlin: And what's the real reason?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: ?

Arthur: *whining* Lady Vivian is insane and wants to marry me. We've known each other for 10 days! I can't marry her after 10 days!

Merlin: Lady Vivian might be insane, but that's only because she fell in love with you.

Merlin: And for the record: the only reason I'm not protesting you coming along is that I want to spare Lady Vivian a fiancé like you.

*Merlin starts walking away, stops after a moment and turns back around*

Merlin: And because there's a good chance that you'll die with us!