Damian: So, When Are You Planning To Ask Him Out?

Damian: So, when are you planning to ask him out?

Clark: Ask him out for what?

Dick: Oh, come on now.

Jason: Seriously, man? Really, man? Ask him out for what?

Tim: Okay, to break it down in simple words, we want you to ask Bruce on a date... with the future prospect of proposing to him.

Clark: Um... what makes you guys think this is a good idea?

Dick: No way, you don't know why?

Damian: Look, alien, if it weren't for my dad's eyes lighting up whenever he sees you like his life depends on you, your bones would have been broken—at least once.

Jason: Add kryptonite bullets too.

Dick: And mean memes about Superman.

Tim: Plus maxing out your credit score.

Clark: How did you guys go from suggesting ' I ask him out ' to plotting the downfall of my life?

Jason: See, your handmade pies and cakes are to die for, but our Bruce only wants your built-in cakes and pies.

Tim: Jason, no!

Dick: Jason, slay.

Damian: Clark 0, us 100

Clark: Built-in what?? Never mind, I don't wanna know.

Hal: spooky, what does supes mean?

Bruce: [gripping on batarang] You have known more than enough, Hal. Start counting.

Hal: counting? For what?

Bruce: 10..

Hal: 10 what?

Bruce: 9..[skips to 1]..0

Hal: HEY, that's cheating [already running for his life]

Hal Jordan: so spooky, are you a little spoon or big spoon?

Bruce: I'm a menace, a threat, a shadow vigilante who would beat you up so discreetly that they won't even know it's me. What makes you think I will care about cutlery?

Clark: he is the little spoon

"If Superman took design cues from Wonder Woman" by Theobromic on Twitter

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne, Diana (Wonder Woman) & Clark Kent Characters: Clark Kent, Superman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Diana (Wonder Woman), Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Barry Allen, Flash, Martha Kent Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Protective Clark Kent, Clark Kent Needs a Hug, Hurt Clark Kent, Jealous Bruce Wayne, Angry Bruce Wayne, Protective Diana (Wonder Woman), Kryptonian Culture & Customs (DCU), Emotional Hurt, Sad Bruce Wayne Summary:

“ The moment Clark realized who his soulmate was, he knew they couldn't be together. Guess even Superman can't have everything. ”

Bruce: ok kids I'm going out on a date with Clark. behave yourself

[few seconds after Bruce left]

Jason: from today on I'm the king of this city. Bow down to me peasants

Tim: bow down huh? Come here let me bow down your head backwards

Jason: you dare to talk back to me, you imbecile. Our fight shall be worthy

Tim: let's meet in the ring, peasant

Damian: On one side we have our penny worth king and on the other hand we have a dime worth peasant. The fight shall begin

Jason: here you go peasant have this +2

Tim[smirking]: bow down to me. *Throws a +4*

Jason[grinning]: huh bow? To you huh? Now suffer

*throws 2 +4*

Tim[pulls out Jason's order history]: checkmate

Jason[laughing maniacally]: any last words? *Pulls out Tim/kon cute pics together*

[loud gasps audio]

Dick[in batman's cape]: order order silence in the court

Jason: your honor this villain has stolen my rightful place as the king.

Tim: objection you honor. It's all a lie. I'm the rightful king. I even have witness with me

Dick: present the witness

Damian[in specs]: your honor I'm Detective Wayne I would say they both are liars. *Removes the specs* it's I, I am the actual king, my lord

Bruce: no your honor, it's me. I'm the real king.

[loud gasps]

Dick[sweating]: haha the court declares Bruce as the king and is now adjourned.

Jason[silently walking away]: yea yea he is the kin-

Bruce[catching Jason]: now as the king, I shall hand over the decree

[collective tsks from kids]

Bruce: my dear subjects, from today on each Friday shall be 'Who dressed up as the best meme' war. The winner shall be awarded adequately.

Damian: it's not like we lack anything father

Bruce: the winner shall be awarded with Batman's affection

[collective screaming]

Jason: this time I shall win

Damian: dream on

Clark[outside window]: can I also participate?

[collective boos]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]