delicatedarknight - brrtrouper
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Tim: So Why Should We Select You?

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

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More Posts from Delicatedarknight

1 year ago
I Know Anything I Post With Them Will Immediately Be Derailed By Supermans Fat Tits So Here They Are
I Know Anything I Post With Them Will Immediately Be Derailed By Supermans Fat Tits So Here They Are
I Know Anything I Post With Them Will Immediately Be Derailed By Supermans Fat Tits So Here They Are

I know anything I post with them will immediately be derailed by Superman’s fat tits so here they are all in one so everyone can get it out of their system

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #6 - “The Flying Grayson” (2022) written by Mark Waid art by Travis Moore & Tamra Bonvillain


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1 year ago
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Superman - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne, Diana (Wonder Woman) & Clark Kent Characters: Clark Kent, Superman, Bruce Wayne, Batman, Diana (Wonder Woman), Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Barry Allen, Flash, Martha Kent Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Protective Clark Kent, Clark Kent Needs a Hug, Hurt Clark Kent, Jealous Bruce Wayne, Angry Bruce Wayne, Protective Diana (Wonder Woman), Kryptonian Culture & Customs (DCU), Emotional Hurt, Sad Bruce Wayne Summary:

“ The moment Clark realized who his soulmate was, he knew they couldn't be together. Guess even Superman can't have everything. ”


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1 year ago

Bruce: what makes you good for my son?

Kon: what is there that I lack? I'm perfect for your son

Jason: I would say he lacks common sense

Dick[sighing]: describe why you love Tim?

Kon: he is a huge coffee addict, the Robin costume looks ugly but I guess those are the things that make him look hella attractive not to mention he has a great as-

Bruce, Damian, Jason & Dick [ready with their weapons on Kon's neck]: be careful how you finish that sentence

Kon[flying out of the window]: HE GOT A GREAT ASS

[An hour later]

Metropolis reporter: today's breaking news Batman and the Robins are chasing after Superboy while throwing profanities. Oh wait we see Red Hood let's ask him about the situation

Reporter: Red Hood what brings you all to the metropolis today?

Red Hood: oh it's just a family outing to promote tourism to Gotham not like we are trying to make Superboy disappear from the face of the earth and bury him somewhere. Now now where did our Superboy kid run off to now?

Reporter:

[In Kent house hold]

Kon: Dad...you know I love you soo much right?

Clark[sighing]: what did you do this time?

Kon: Dad you gotta protect me they are coming for me

Clark: they who?

Kon: the bat fa-

[Window breaking and batfam entering]

Kon[already using Clark as human shield]: they are here dad

Bruce: Clark stay out of this

Clark[confused]: what did he do for the whole bat family to chase after him

Damian: ask him yourself

Clark: so what did you do?

Kon[shyly grinning]: I complimented Tim's ass..

Clark: I mean I see where you are coming from..I mean Bruce also has a great ass..but that's not the point now.

Dick: guess it's time to end the whole Superman bloodline

Jason: deviation in the plan now it's both dad-son duo

Clark: Can I say something before I die?

Bruce[with kryptonite]: you may speak

Clark: Bruce I always wanted to tell you something, you look really beautiful, and last Thursday, you looked amazing in those black undies.

[Collective batfam screaming and fighting] 


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1 year ago

Me: can't wait for jealous, chasing after Clark, Bruce You: JLA squared up on Bruce? No chance, more like Bruce squared them all up. And Clark? he has already died inside

Personally, I absolutely loved your Bruce description and your take on this. ^^

Give me fic where Bruce realised that he misses the little pre JL greet up back pats or the momentarily blissful hugs from superman after life and death fights. But everytime superman does that he would always be met by fake disapproving bat grunting. Add to the mix Lois and Diana dating and Lois shares Clark rambling about how batman hates him. And to spice things up hal Jordan who no one knows how overhears the convo and goes like it would be funny if supes stops being handsy with spooky and him actually missing it. There was moment of silence before Diana and Lois looked at eachother with wide eyes and then at Hal and all hell broke loose. Starting the mission "make spooky ask his supes for hugs".


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1 year ago

Damian: So, when are you planning to ask him out?

Clark: Ask him out for what?

Dick: Oh, come on now.

Jason: Seriously, man? Really, man? Ask him out for what?

Tim: Okay, to break it down in simple words, we want you to ask Bruce on a date... with the future prospect of proposing to him.

Clark: Um... what makes you guys think this is a good idea?

Dick: No way, you don't know why?

Damian: Look, alien, if it weren't for my dad's eyes lighting up whenever he sees you like his life depends on you, your bones would have been broken—at least once.

Jason: Add kryptonite bullets too.

Dick: And mean memes about Superman.

Tim: Plus maxing out your credit score.

Clark: How did you guys go from suggesting ' I ask him out ' to plotting the downfall of my life?

Jason: See, your handmade pies and cakes are to die for, but our Bruce only wants your built-in cakes and pies.

Tim: Jason, no!

Dick: Jason, slay.

Damian: Clark 0, us 100

Clark: Built-in what?? Never mind, I don't wanna know.


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