Hal: Spooky, What Does Supes Mean?

Hal: spooky, what does supes mean?

Bruce: [gripping on batarang] You have known more than enough, Hal. Start counting.

Hal: counting? For what?

Bruce: 10..

Hal: 10 what?

Bruce: 9..[skips to 1]..0

Hal: HEY, that's cheating [already running for his life]

Hal Jordan: so spooky, are you a little spoon or big spoon?

Bruce: I'm a menace, a threat, a shadow vigilante who would beat you up so discreetly that they won't even know it's me. What makes you think I will care about cutlery?

Clark: he is the little spoon

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

Bruce: ok kids I'm going out on a date with Clark. behave yourself

[few seconds after Bruce left]

Jason: from today on I'm the king of this city. Bow down to me peasants

Tim: bow down huh? Come here let me bow down your head backwards

Jason: you dare to talk back to me, you imbecile. Our fight shall be worthy

Tim: let's meet in the ring, peasant

Damian: On one side we have our penny worth king and on the other hand we have a dime worth peasant. The fight shall begin

Jason: here you go peasant have this +2

Tim[smirking]: bow down to me. *Throws a +4*

Jason[grinning]: huh bow? To you huh? Now suffer

*throws 2 +4*

Tim[pulls out Jason's order history]: checkmate

Jason[laughing maniacally]: any last words? *Pulls out Tim/kon cute pics together*

[loud gasps audio]

Dick[in batman's cape]: order order silence in the court

Jason: your honor this villain has stolen my rightful place as the king.

Tim: objection you honor. It's all a lie. I'm the rightful king. I even have witness with me

Dick: present the witness

Damian[in specs]: your honor I'm Detective Wayne I would say they both are liars. *Removes the specs* it's I, I am the actual king, my lord

Bruce: no your honor, it's me. I'm the real king.

[loud gasps]

Dick[sweating]: haha the court declares Bruce as the king and is now adjourned.

Jason[silently walking away]: yea yea he is the kin-

Bruce[catching Jason]: now as the king, I shall hand over the decree

[collective tsks from kids]

Bruce: my dear subjects, from today on each Friday shall be 'Who dressed up as the best meme' war. The winner shall be awarded adequately.

Damian: it's not like we lack anything father

Bruce: the winner shall be awarded with Batman's affection

[collective screaming]

Jason: this time I shall win

Damian: dream on

Clark[outside window]: can I also participate?

[collective boos]

Damian: So, when are you planning to ask him out?

Clark: Ask him out for what?

Dick: Oh, come on now.

Jason: Seriously, man? Really, man? Ask him out for what?

Tim: Okay, to break it down in simple words, we want you to ask Bruce on a date... with the future prospect of proposing to him.

Clark: Um... what makes you guys think this is a good idea?

Dick: No way, you don't know why?

Damian: Look, alien, if it weren't for my dad's eyes lighting up whenever he sees you like his life depends on you, your bones would have been broken—at least once.

Jason: Add kryptonite bullets too.

Dick: And mean memes about Superman.

Tim: Plus maxing out your credit score.

Clark: How did you guys go from suggesting ' I ask him out ' to plotting the downfall of my life?

Jason: See, your handmade pies and cakes are to die for, but our Bruce only wants your built-in cakes and pies.

Tim: Jason, no!

Dick: Jason, slay.

Damian: Clark 0, us 100

Clark: Built-in what?? Never mind, I don't wanna know.

Secret Santa at Wayne Manor ft.Superfam

Jason:[fuming] Who thought giving a toy gun in an Xbox pack was a good idea. whoever it is you better start praying. Kon:[ugly sweater but with bad kon pics] HA!? which one of you did this? Jason:[snorting] lmao..you totally deserve it 10/10 to whoever did it. Dick: WOAH!! NO WAY! Thanks to which one of you who gifted me these beautiful customized escrima sticks. I love you. Tim: Aww thanks for this beautiful bracelet and chocolates Jon:[amazed] It's the superhero-themed blanket that I wanted. thank you so much. Damian:[touched] Whoever thought of giving me this precious matte black finish grappling hook bad boy. thank you from the bottom o my heart

Alfred:[wiping away his tears] I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for this 20-inch pie mould with these complimentary unicorn cookie cutter Martha: thanks to my Secret Santa for these beautiful spice-scented candles. Bruce:[wrapped in new handwoven superman themed scarf] Thank you Martha: what about you Clark? what did you get? Clark:[hiding away the sexy batman body pillow] just some socks, ma.

Bruce: what makes you good for my son?

Kon: what is there that I lack? I'm perfect for your son

Jason: I would say he lacks common sense

Dick[sighing]: describe why you love Tim?

Kon: he is a huge coffee addict, the Robin costume looks ugly but I guess those are the things that make him look hella attractive not to mention he has a great as-

Bruce, Damian, Jason & Dick [ready with their weapons on Kon's neck]: be careful how you finish that sentence

Kon[flying out of the window]: HE GOT A GREAT ASS

[An hour later]

Metropolis reporter: today's breaking news Batman and the Robins are chasing after Superboy while throwing profanities. Oh wait we see Red Hood let's ask him about the situation

Reporter: Red Hood what brings you all to the metropolis today?

Red Hood: oh it's just a family outing to promote tourism to Gotham not like we are trying to make Superboy disappear from the face of the earth and bury him somewhere. Now now where did our Superboy kid run off to now?

Reporter:

[In Kent house hold]

Kon: Dad...you know I love you soo much right?

Clark[sighing]: what did you do this time?

Kon: Dad you gotta protect me they are coming for me

Clark: they who?

Kon: the bat fa-

[Window breaking and batfam entering]

Kon[already using Clark as human shield]: they are here dad

Bruce: Clark stay out of this

Clark[confused]: what did he do for the whole bat family to chase after him

Damian: ask him yourself

Clark: so what did you do?

Kon[shyly grinning]: I complimented Tim's ass..

Clark: I mean I see where you are coming from..I mean Bruce also has a great ass..but that's not the point now.

Dick: guess it's time to end the whole Superman bloodline

Jason: deviation in the plan now it's both dad-son duo

Clark: Can I say something before I die?

Bruce[with kryptonite]: you may speak

Clark: Bruce I always wanted to tell you something, you look really beautiful, and last Thursday, you looked amazing in those black undies.

[Collective batfam screaming and fighting]