Hey Y'all! Dunno Is Anyone Is Ever Gonna Find This, But Hey! Welcome To My World.

Hey y'all! Dunno is anyone is ever gonna find this, but hey! Welcome to my world.

Meet Cairo Cortez, Embodiment of Wrath, Vessel of Satan, and Mistress of Shades!

Sorting Hellaverse Characters (part 1)

I'm a major geek and this is combining 2 of my fave things (Note: I do not support J.K. Rowling or her views, as a member of the lgbtq community I disagree with her statements. I grew up on harry Potter and separate it from the author)

Charlie: Hufflepuff

C'mon yall. What else would she be in? Charlie is loyal as heck, caring, kind, and fair. Girl is the ultimate Hufflepuff! Besides, "Happy Day in Hell" is such a Hufflepuff vibe.

Vaggie: Gryffindor

Brave? Check. Down to fight? Double check. Fiercely protect of those she loves? Oh yeah. Vaggie is a Gryffindor for sure. I can see an argument for Hufflepuff, but her lines in "Starts with Sorry" seal the deal for me.

Sir pentious: Ravenclaw

Speaking of "Starts with Sorry", everyone's favorite redeemed snake is not a slippery Slytherin, but a wise Ravenclaw. He's creative, smart, witty, and dramatic. He would be the kid hanging out with Luna Lovegood discussing Nargles and explaining the logistics of his Egg Bois to Hagrid.

Alastor: Slytherin

This man is the King of Cunning, the Emperor of Ambition. If he isn't a Slytherun, then I'm going to heaven! (And we know that probably ain't happening). The way this man acts is so Slytherin! He is Salazaar Slytherin himself!

Blitzø: Gryffindor

I'm kinda on the fence about this one. I had to do some process of elimination. He's not a Ravenclaw because Blitz has atrocious grammar and spelling. He's not a slytherin because while he is ambitious, he works hard and doesnt have the confidence. The main thing stopping him from Hufflepuff is his anger and confrontational tendencies. He is brave, ballsy, and fierce, so Gryffindor sounds right to me.

Katie killjoy: Slytherin

From one Brandon Rogers character to another. This lady is willing to do whatever she has to, step on any toes she can, and hurt Tom as much as possible on her way ro the top. She would be a Hogwarts girl that clung onto Draco's every word.

Alastor absolutely would change the decor just to mess with Lucifer. Change the apples to microphones, expand the bar. Anything to mess with the short king.

Why can I see this with Stolitz?

Stolas: When you said 'magic in bed', I wasn't expecting...this...

Blitzø: (pulls out a card) Is this your card?

Stolas: Oh Lucifer...how did you...?

Angel: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this… Husk: pulls out card from deck Now, was this your card? Angel: Holy moly-

I feel like drunk Striker would actually be either really nice or the biggest threat to the stability of Hell. Probably both...at once...killing overlords with kindness...