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ACCEPTS

A DBT skill for Distress Tolerance

Use this skill to help you get through moments of crisis

*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.

*Corresponding worksheet to help you plan ahead*

A - Activities: Watch a comforting tv show or movie, clean, do a puzzle, any task that requires most of your attention so you can focus mindfully on it rather than your emotional spiral.

C - Contributing: Talk to a friend or family member, help someone with a task like cooking or cleaning.The goal being to focus on being with someone rather than being alone in your thoughts.*This obviously would not be a go-to if the person would further trigger you.

C - Comparisons: Compare this emotional storm to a past, worse experience as a way to remind yourself that you've survived before, and you can do it again. *Again, the point of this is not to further trigger yourself, but to prove to yourself that you're strong enough to get through this moment of distress.

E - Emotions: Activate opposite emotions by watching a funny video or recalling a happy memory.

P - Push Away: Mentally push away the triggering thoughts or situation until you are calmer and more regulated and able to deal with the emotions. Commit, for a few minutes, to picturing your problems going into a small box, closing them in it, shoving the box deep in the back of a closet and closing the door. This exercise is a very short term way to remove the weight from your shoulders.

T - Thoughts: Actively think about something completely unrelated to your triggers. Sing your favorite song from memory, do a crossword puzzle or a math problem.

S - Sensations: Interact with your 5 senses mindfully; hug a stuffed animal or a pet, hold ice in your hand and feel it melt, lay flat on the floor and feel your body pressing into the hard surface.

*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.

*More DBT Skills Here*

Box Breathing

This breathing exercise is great for de-stressing and grounding yourself for meditation.

To start, get into a comfortable seated position, straighten your spine, keep your hands relaxed by your sides or on your lap, and legs relaxed with your feet on the ground.

Inhale deeply, counting 4 beats.

Continue by holding that breath and counting another 4 beats.

Exhale slowly for another 4 beats.

Hold for another 4 beats.

Repeat 3 or 4 times.

*For help pacing, you can use a 60 bpm metronome, which can be found on any music streaming platform or Youtube.

*DBT guides here*

DEAR MAN

A DBT Skill for Interpersonal Effectiveness

Use this skill to help you get what you need without damaging relationships or compromising your integrity.

Describe: State the facts of the situation.

Express: Use I-statements to express your feelings and take responsibility for them. I-statements prevent the other person from getting defensive.

Assert: Assert yourself by asking for what you need or by saying no firmly. Speak simply and clearly.

Reinforce: Make sure the other person knows what they will gain by granting your request. It’s important to reinforce that the relationship is a two-way street.

(Stay) Mindful: Stay focused on the conversion. If the person starts getting defensive, keep the conversation on track.

Appear Confident: Regardless of how you feel on the inside, project confidence with your body language; stand or sit up straight with your head held high, voice clear and strong, and make eye contact.

Negotiate: If the person isn’t on board with your request, remember that you are asking for something, not making demands. Modify your request to make it more appealing to them, and/or try asking them their thoughts on solving the problem together.

*More DBT guides here*

Wise Mind

This diagram breaks down the states of mind that we experience.

Please note that neither side is “good” or “bad”; the aim of practicing mindfulness is to combine both and act in your own best interest.

Emotion Mind

Feelings control actions

Can disregard the facts of a situation

Impulsivity based on emotions in the moment

Self-injurious behavior 

Reasonable Mind

Logic controls actions

Detached from emotions

Can invalidate your emotional experience

Wise mind

Combines the facts of a situation with the emotional experience

Helps you process a situation before acting

Mindfulness will help get you here

*More DBT guides here*

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