Dbt - Tumblr Posts
ABC PLEASE
Use this guide to help you develop emotional resilience and decrease suffering from difficult emotions.
A - Accumulate Positive Emotions:
- Short Term: Be mindful of pleasant events such as listening to music, watching tv, drawing knitting, etc.
-Long Term: Avoid avoiding, identify values, take steps toward goals.
B - Build Mastery:
-Plan on doing something to build a sense of accomplishment.
-Plan for success rather than failure.
-Look for a challenge and gradually increase difficulty over time.
C - Cope Ahead:
-Describe possibly triggering situations.
-Plan coping or problem solving strategies.
-Practice coping effectively.
-Practice relaxation after coping practice.
P - Treat Physical Illness:
-Take care of your body.
-See a doctor when necessary
-Take prescribed medications as directed.
L - List Resources and Barriers:
-List tools and practices that will help with vulnerabilities.
-List issues and situations that will hinder healthy practices.
E - Balanced Eating:
-Don’t eat too much or too little.
-Eat regularly and mindfully throughout the day.
-Stay away from food that makes you feel overly emotional.
A - Avoid Mood-Altering Substances: Stay off drugs and alcohol.
S - Balanced Sleep:
-Try to get 8-9 hours of sleep daily.
-Keep a consistent bedtime and wake time.
E - Regular Exercise:
-Do some sort of exercise daily.
-Aim for 20-30 minutes of physical activity.
-Build flexibility and love your body.
*More DBT guides here*
FLAME
Use this guide to remember how to carry out a task mindfully.
F - Focus and shift your attention to be mindful of the present moment.
L - Let go of distracting thoughts and judgments.
A - Use Radical Acceptance to remain nonjudgmental.
M - Use Wise Mind to make healthy decisions.
E - Do what is Effective to accomplish your goals.
*More DBT guides here*
GIVE
Use this skill to maintain a good relationship and reduce conflict with another person.
G - Gentle: No attacks, threats or judgments.
I - Interested: Listen to the other person.
V - Validate: Acknowledge the person’s feelings, wants, difficulties and opinions.
E - Easy Manner: Use humor and smile.
*More DBT guides here*
FAST
Use this skill to help maintain your self-respect when communicating with others.
F - Be Fair: Avoid judgments and stick to the facts.
A - Don’t Apologize: Assert yourself and ask for what you want. Don’t apologize for making requests, having opinions or disagreeing.
S - Stick to Your Values: Make sure to confidently stick to your truth.
T - Be Truthful: Don’t exaggerate. Don’t lie or act helpless when you aren’t. Dishonesty over time erodes your self-respect.
*More DBT guides here*
This post is to elaborate more on my experience in the DBT group and some of the reading and tools I found most helpful to me.
The DBT group I was able to take part in was a remote group that met once a week for 16 weeks via Webex. I was very lucky to get a spot and that my Medicaid covered any cost. It was run by two social workers as part of NYU Langone's Psychiatric Center at Sunset Terrace.
The weeks were broken down based on the 4 Modules (core skill groups) of DBT: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness.
Mindfulness: This is the base of any DBT practice, and what I always had trouble with in the past. Mindfulness is a kind of self-awareness that you can use to break down your experiences and give yourself a kind of reality check. Being mindful is being present and aware of your emotions, your body, and your thought process.
There are 3 states of mind with which we experience and react to the world: Emotion Mind (acting based on emotions alone), Reasonable Mind (acting based on facts alone), and Wise Mind (a combination of the first 2 and the goal of mindfulness).
Distress Tolerence: This module focuses on short term solutions for big emotions. The skills involved in this module are called Distraction skills because their goal is to just get you through the wave of emotion, resist any harmful urges, and survive your distress long enough to talk to someone or get to other skills.
There are quite a few skills in this module I found helpful, and I'll go into more detail on them in another post. The skill I think can do the most in the moment is called ACCEPTS, an acronym used to remember what you can do to distract yourself when feelings get too intense.
Emotion Regulation: This 3rd module focuses on learning to identify your emotions, understand where they come from and what they are trying to tell you, and processing them in a healthy way.
The purpose of all emotions is evolutionary survival. Emotions spur us into action to meet our needs (when you get hangry, you know you need to eat), and communicate danger to ourselves and others. Body language and voice tone can also often communicate emotions before words do.
*Use a feeling wheel to identify your emotions and dig deeper. If you can't process them right away, use a distress tolerance skill until you are able to sit with them.
*The best skill for emotion regulation is ABC PLEASE, an acronym used to help you recognize vulnerability factors in your life and minimize them.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: This last module focuses on skills that help us communicate with others. There are skills like GIVE, which can be used to maintain good relationships with others, and FAST, which can be used to help maintain your self-respect when making a request of someone.
*There are others that I will make graphics for, stay tuned!
Attending the group and learning the skills was only part of what I found helpful on my journey toward stability. I found a book, Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder, that helped break mindfulness down in great detail and very easy to follow language. The book is written specifically for BPD-havers so it's really an excellent resource. The other tool I found helpful is something my therapist suggested I get, The Game of Real Life, which is a game that you can play to learn DBT skills in an interactive and fun way. It comes with a little book that breaks every skill and practice down, Skill cards which I find to be a great go-to for recalling a skill in a moment you need it (after all, it's a whole lot of acronyms to remember), and Conflict cards that give you examples of situations you might experience, and you have to pick a skill card to practice (can be done alone but better with someone you trust to really dive into the communication and regulation skills). I've actually been carrying a few of the skill cards in my purse wherever I go, just in case I need a quick reference in a moment of distress.
I have so much more to share with anyone who's interested. I'll keep posting, making graphics, and if anyone has a specific question about any of the modules, I'll do my best to answer or help you find the information online. DBT groups are super hard to find, in extremely high demand so it's hard to get in, and usually grossly expensive due to this country's horrible healthcare system. I consider myself extremely privileged to have been able to find a great hospital when I needed it and a great group that my insurance covered. I'm here for anyone who isn't as lucky. Let's make DBT accessible and break the stigma of the BPD diagnosis!
*More DBT guides here*
Trigger warning: su1cidal thoughts
I want to love myself. I want to love my life. I want to enjoy things. I want to be able to let go of what doesn’t serve me. I want to be happy, or at the very least be content. But currently the best I can do is hold onto enough mindfulness to follow my crisis plan when I’m holding a pill bottle in my hand.
As my therapist always says, therapy and treatment can only work if you’re alive, and the skills are there to help you stay that way.
Better buried in self-loathing and shame than in the ground, I guess.
I need to feel productive and like I can accomplish something so I’m giving myself the goal of finally finishing my guides for the STOP and TIPP skills by next Friday, October 27th. And then diving into 1989 TV will be my “reward.”
I’m a girl with a desperate need for a gold-star feeling and pretty much no opportunities for moments like that. So I have to create them myself and reward and love myself…no one else is going out of their way to do it for me.
STOP
Use this skill when you are fully in your Emotion Mind to stop yourself from reacting impulsively to a distressful situation.
S - Stop: When distress is high, don’t react. Just freeze!
T - Take a step back: Remove yourself from the situation. Take 15-30 seconds to focus on your breathing and slow down your heart rate.
O - Observe the situation: Take in what’s going on around you and in your body. Remember to stick to the facts.
P - Proceed Mindfully: What’s your goal in this situation? Consider your thoughts and feelings, and those of others.
*More DBT guides here*
TIPP
Use this skill when you are overwhelmed by intense emotions or are feeling the urge to self-injure.
*If you’re in crisis and are having suicidal thoughts please call a Crisis Hotline! (Call 988 in the US)
T - Temperature: To relax fast or distract your mind with sensation, hold an ice pack to your cheeks or eyes or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water for at least 30 seconds to activate your Diver Reflex*.
*If you have high blood pressure, talk to your doctor before trying.
I - Intense Exercise: Doing a few minutes of vigorous exercise will release Endorphins. Try a few minutes of Jumping Jacks or running in place (or around the block). Play your favorite fast paced song and dance it out.
P - Paced Breathing: Breathe deeply into your belly, expanding your lungs as much as you can. Pace your inhales and exhales to 5-6 per minute. Then make your exhales longer than your inhales (5 seconds in, 7 seconds out).
*Try a 60 bpm Metronome track from your music streaming app or YouTube for pacing.
P - Paired Muscle Relaxation: Breathing deeply, tense your muscles (not so much that you cramp up) section by section, move your focus from your feet up your body. Tense up with every inhale, relaxing and melting with every exhale.
*More DBT guides here*
My DBT skill graphics organized by module🩷
Please feel free to save them, share, print and submit requests if there’s any skills you’d like sooner than others (as I make more, I’ll add them to this post for easy access).
Mindfulness: FLAME
Emotion Regulation: ABC PLEASE
Interpersonal Effectiveness: GIVE, FAST, DEAR MAN
Distress Tolerance: STOP, TIPP, ACCEPTS, ACCEPTS Worksheet
Misc: Wise Mind, Box Breathing
Deep Breathing GIFs
Thought I’d share some Deep Breathing gifs that I’ve found helpful to focus on when I need something tangible to calm myself. Just found these in a Google search, there’s so many others but these were the ones I’ve used in the last year.
*DBT Skill Guides Here*
DEAR MAN
A DBT Skill for Interpersonal Effectiveness
Use this skill to help you get what you need without damaging relationships or compromising your integrity.
Describe: State the facts of the situation.
Express: Use I-statements to express your feelings and take responsibility for them. I-statements prevent the other person from getting defensive.
Assert: Assert yourself by asking for what you need or by saying no firmly. Speak simply and clearly.
Reinforce: Make sure the other person knows what they will gain by granting your request. It’s important to reinforce that the relationship is a two-way street.
(Stay) Mindful: Stay focused on the conversion. If the person starts getting defensive, keep the conversation on track.
Appear Confident: Regardless of how you feel on the inside, project confidence with your body language; stand or sit up straight with your head held high, voice clear and strong, and make eye contact.
Negotiate: If the person isn’t on board with your request, remember that you are asking for something, not making demands. Modify your request to make it more appealing to them, and/or try asking them their thoughts on solving the problem together.
*More DBT guides here*
Wise Mind
This diagram breaks down the states of mind that we experience.
Please note that neither side is “good” or “bad”; the aim of practicing mindfulness is to combine both and act in your own best interest.
Emotion Mind
Feelings control actions
Can disregard the facts of a situation
Impulsivity based on emotions in the moment
Self-injurious behavior
Reasonable Mind
Logic controls actions
Detached from emotions
Can invalidate your emotional experience
Wise mind
Combines the facts of a situation with the emotional experience
Helps you process a situation before acting
Mindfulness will help get you here
*More DBT guides here*
Box Breathing
This breathing exercise is great for de-stressing and grounding yourself for meditation.
To start, get into a comfortable seated position, straighten your spine, keep your hands relaxed by your sides or on your lap, and legs relaxed with your feet on the ground.
Inhale deeply, counting 4 beats.
Continue by holding that breath and counting another 4 beats.
Exhale slowly for another 4 beats.
Hold for another 4 beats.
Repeat 3 or 4 times.
*For help pacing, you can use a 60 bpm metronome, which can be found on any music streaming platform or Youtube.
*DBT guides here*
ACCEPTS
A DBT skill for Distress Tolerance
Use this skill to help you get through moments of crisis
*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.
*Corresponding worksheet to help you plan ahead*
A - Activities: Watch a comforting tv show or movie, clean, do a puzzle, any task that requires most of your attention so you can focus mindfully on it rather than your emotional spiral.
C - Contributing: Talk to a friend or family member, help someone with a task like cooking or cleaning.The goal being to focus on being with someone rather than being alone in your thoughts.*This obviously would not be a go-to if the person would further trigger you.
C - Comparisons: Compare this emotional storm to a past, worse experience as a way to remind yourself that you've survived before, and you can do it again. *Again, the point of this is not to further trigger yourself, but to prove to yourself that you're strong enough to get through this moment of distress.
E - Emotions: Activate opposite emotions by watching a funny video or recalling a happy memory.
P - Push Away: Mentally push away the triggering thoughts or situation until you are calmer and more regulated and able to deal with the emotions. Commit, for a few minutes, to picturing your problems going into a small box, closing them in it, shoving the box deep in the back of a closet and closing the door. This exercise is a very short term way to remove the weight from your shoulders.
T - Thoughts: Actively think about something completely unrelated to your triggers. Sing your favorite song from memory, do a crossword puzzle or a math problem.
S - Sensations: Interact with your 5 senses mindfully; hug a stuffed animal or a pet, hold ice in your hand and feel it melt, lay flat on the floor and feel your body pressing into the hard surface.
*The best way to utilize this skill is, when you're calm and not feeling any distress, make yourself a list of specific things you can do that correspond with each of these steps. Thinking of something to distract you when you're in the midst of an emotional storm is incredibly hard, so preparing a reference guide for yourself ahead of time is a way to show up for yourself.
*More DBT Skills Here*
ACCEPTS DBT Worksheet
*Corresponding DBT Skill*
This worksheet is a way for you to plan ahead and show up for yourself when you're in distress.
Print this out, fill it in and have it as a tangible list of things to take your focus off the emotional storm and avoid harmful coping mechanisms.
List activities that will take your focus in the moment (for example draw, play a video game, put together a small puzzle)
List things you can do with someone who calms you (for example help with washing dishes, fold laundry, cook a meal)
List 2 times before when you were struggling emotionally and got through it (to remind yourself that you have before and can survive again)
List things you can do to activate opposite emotions (for example watch some funny videos to counteract sadness with laughter)
List numbers you can call for help (For example a crisis hotline, therapist, or loved one)
Bonus Project: Self-Soothing Tool Box
Fill a small box with anything that you can grab in a moment of stress to occupy your 5 senses.
This can include things like fidget toys, stress balls, mini plushies, small puzzles (25 pieces or so), a laundry sheet or perfume that calms you, a print out of the lyrics to one of your favorite songs, photos of loved ones, a Box Breathing guide, post-it notes with helpful affirmations, and even sour candies or mints.
The goal here is to have a go-to collection of self-soothing assistants so you're not searching and struggling in the midst of your distress.
*More DBT Skill guides here*
This is an article I've shared before that I've written, but I wanted to share it again so that I could post the text below the read more for those that aren't comfortable clicking to an external site.
This is a post about how to work on avoiding giving into harmful urges.
Something that comes up a lot in BPD, but also a number of other disorders, is impulse control and urges.
It can be so hard to not give in. For example, when feeling angry, we might have an urge to scream at someone, say something hurtful, harm ourselves or any number of things.
It’s really important to learn how to cope with harmful impulses and urges.
One way to do this is what is called Urge Surfing. Urge surfing is about “riding the wave” of an urge. The longer you resist an urge, the stronger it seems to get, much like the building of a wave. If you do give into an urge, that teaches your brain that giving into the urge is the only way to make it go away. However, research has shown that urges generally last for 20 to 30 minutes. It may feel like it’s going to keep on getting stronger and stronger until you give into it, but much like a wave, it will break and go away if you can avoid it.
Trying to directly stop an urge can be difficult. If you have ever tried to swim directly against a wave, you know that it can be exhausting. Especially as it gets stronger, it can feel like a wave will overwhelm you. On the other hand, if you swim to the side or otherwise do not work directly against the wave, you can move out of its power or give it time to break and dissipate without using nearly as much energy. Working with urges can be exactly the same.
One way I resist an urge is the “not now, later” approach. With this approach, I tell myself that, “Okay, you want to do that thing? That’s fine, but it has to be later.” I find this works for a lot of things because when I outright tell myself, “no,” I find it harder to let go of the urge. By telling myself I can give into the urge, but do it later, I find I can ignore the urge in less discomfort and usually by the time later arrives (I like a “sleep on it” rule for later, depending on the situation), the urge has passed and I can move on. If I do this repeatedly, I teach my brain to understand that the urge will go away whether I act on it or not.
Some things that can be useful to do when Urge Surfing:
Recognize and acknowledge that you are having an urge
Notice and describe the thoughts and feelings you are having, without trying to change or suppress them. This may be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. Discomfort while feeling an urge is normal.
Remind yourself:
There is nothing wrong with having urges. They are normal and natural parts of having addictions, habits and desires.
Discomfort is okay.
An urge is a desire, not a need. I can have an urge and choose not to act.
Urges are temporary. They will pass, whether I give into them or not.
Some other things you can do are focus on distracting yourself whether that’s by activities you like, grounding techniques or just overall keeping busy.
Remind yourself that you are in control. As hard as it is, you can choose not to act on your urge. It may feel impossible, but you can do it, and reminding yourself of that can help.
If it helps you, you can journal about your feelings and urges. Sometimes writing them down can help us realize why the urge isn’t good to give into. With that said, you can also spend some time thinking about why you shouldn’t do the thing you want to do. For example, you don’t want to yell at your friend because you know the feeling you’re experiencing is temporary and you don’t want to cause them unfair hurt which can also have lasting effects on your friendship. (With that said, if after you are calmer and you rationally think that cutting a friend off is better for your own mental health, then you should do that.)
And as time goes on, the urge should get less. This can help us because we are aware the discomfort we are in won’t last. If we feel like the discomfort won’t go away until we act on the urge, we are more likely to act on the urge to make it stop. Remind yourself that it will pass on its own.
Over time, Urge Surfing can help your brain learn that it doesn’t need to react to urges. It can help to make urges easier to avoid giving into, in the long-term.
List of Values and Priorities
When you want to practice a DBT Skill like ABC (Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions, Build Mastery, and Cope Ahead), it’s very important to first figure out what your values and priorities are. By being able to clearly identify some core values and priorities, you’ll be able to know where to direct your energy when working to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions most importantly, but these values and priorities can also give you guidance when working to Build Mastery and to Cope Ahead as well.
In order to reduce our emotional vulnerability, we often have to first try to tailor our behaviour to be more in line with our values and priorities. These are the things that guide us, that can help us clarify our identities or recognize a shift in our identity, and adapt our lives to fit where we currently are as people with needs that must be met in order to build a life that we want to live.
It’s okay if our values and priorities shift and change and are not absolutely set in stone. Circumstances change, and we as people change as well. But it’s important to be mindful of these changes and how those changes may necessitate a re-evaluation of our values and priorities, and how we intend to work towards building a life that places those things at the centre of them.
As mentioned previously, this list most importantly applies when you’re working on the “A” sub-Skill of the ABC Skill, particularly when you’re working towards Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Long Term. This list is by no means exhaustive, and you may have values or priorities that are not listed here. Those values and priorities are still valid. This list is only meant to be a guide, especially for people who have trouble putting these needs and desires into concrete concepts and words.
The Big List of Values and Priorities:
A. Attend to Relationships
Repair old relationships
Reach out for new relationships
Work on current relationships; feel secure in current relationships
End destructive or unhealthy relationships
Other: ____________
B. Be part of a group
Have close and satisfying relationships with others
Feel a sense of belonging; feel accepted and welcome and respected
Receive affection and love
Be involved and intimate with others; have and keep close friends
Have a family; stay close to and spend time with family members
Have people to do things with
Other: ___________
C. Be powerful and able to influence others
Have the authority to approve or disapprove of what people do, or to control how resources are used
Be a leader
Make a great deal of money
Be respected by others; surround myself with people who respect me
Be seen by others as successful; become well known; obtain recognition and status
Compete successfully with others
Be popular and accepted
Be a trendsetter
Other: ___________
D. Achieve things in life
Achieve significant goals; be involved in undertakings I believe are significant
Be productive
Work towards goals; work hard; have a good and recognized work-ethic
Be ambitious
Other: ___________
E. Live a life of pleasure and satisfaction
Have a good time
Seek fun and things that give pleasure
Have free time; have the freedom to do what I enjoy
Enjoy the work I do
Other: ___________
F. Keep life full of exciting events, relationships, and things
Try new and different things in life
Be daring and adventurous; seek out and pursue new adventures
Have an exciting life; have a “life lived to the fullest”
Build positive memories of exciting experiences that feel good to remember; be able to reminisce with others about unique experiences; have good stories to tell in the end
Other: ____________
G. Behave respectfully
Be humble and modest; do not draw unnecessary attention to myself
Follow and honour traditions and customs
Behave as my culture (or family, or social group) expects of me
Follow the rules; do not cheat or gain an unfair advantage over others
Treat others well; be fair; be gracious; be kind
Other: ____________
H. Be self-directed
Follow my own path in life
Be innovative, think of new ideas, and be creative
Make my own decisions and be free
Be independent; take care of myself and those I am responsible for
Have freedom of thought and action; be able to act in terms of my own priorities
Assert my boundaries firmly and have them be respected; do not compromise my boundaries or values for another person’s wishes; do not tolerate violations of my boundaries
Maintain my self-respect
Other: ____________
I. Be a spiritual person
Make room in life for spirituality; live life according to spiritual principles
Practice a religion or faith
Be an active part of a spiritual community
Grow in understanding of myself, my personal calling, and life’s real purpose
Discern and do the will of my Deity/Deities/Higher Power and find lasting meaning in life
Other: ____________
J. Be secure
Live in secure and safe surroundings; live in an environment with minimal stressors or triggers
Feel safe and secure in my relationships or community; be surrounded by people who make you feel safe
Maintain my health: Be physically healthy and fit; take care of myself in order to maintain my health or minimize/not exacerbate my illness; seek and receive appropriate treatment for any ailment, illness, or disability in order to improve my quality of life
Maintain a good quality of life for myself
Have a steady income that meets my own and my family’s basic needs; secure some form of long-term financial security for retirement, for my children’s education, for unexpected illness or disability, etc.
Other: ____________
K. Recognize the universal good of all things
Be fair, treat people equally, and provide equal opportunities
Understand different people; be open-minded
Care for nature and the environment
Work to improve the quality of life of others
Other: ____________
L. Contribute to the larger community
Help people and those in need; care for others’ well-being; improve society
Be mindful of societal or systemic inequality and work to correct it; be an activist for social or political or economic change
Be loyal to friends and devoted to close people; be committed to a group that shares my beliefs, values, and ethical principles
Be committed to a cause or to a group that has a larger purpose beyond my own
Make sacrifices for others
Other: ____________
M. Work at self-development
Develop a personal philosophy of life
Learn and do challenging things that help me grown and mature as a human being
Strive for self-improvement in my work, in my hobbies, in my relationships
Be dedicated to self-discovery and obtaining knowledge of my self
Learn new things
Work towards recovery; work towards self-acceptance and self-love
Work diligently to unlearn harmful or maladaptive thoughts, beliefs, and behaviours; ask for help when I need it; seek out resources to help me obtain my goals
Other: ____________
N. Have integrity
Be honest, and acknowledge and stand up for my personal beliefs and boundaries
Be a responsible person; keep my word to others; don’t make promises I can’t keep but keep the ones I do make
Be courageous in facing and living life, especially in the face of challenges and setbacks
Be a person who pays debts to others and repairs damage I have caused
Be accepting of myself; be kind to myself; learn self-love
Maintain my self-respect; assert my boundaries and stand by them
Make the best of what you have; live without regrets
Accept life as it is; live without resentment
Other: ____________
And there it is, the Big List of Values and Priorities. It is very big despite not covering all the possible values people may have, but I’ve tried to expand on the list in the DBT Skills Training Manual to include some key ones that I think were neglected, but I’m obviously biased towards values I hold for myself. Again, if one of your personal values or priorities isn’t on this list, that does not in any way make your values or priorities invalid or unimportant.
On a good day, go through this list and pick two or three general categories of values and four to six specific values that you feel are most important to you. Try and determine which of these shortlisted values are the most important to you, and rank the values you’ve chosen from highest priority to lesser priority to work towards. From there, you can start to brainstorm ideas for how you can go about living in accordance to these values, or the things you need to do to centre your life around these values.
Remember, values exist to give us guidance, especially when we feel directionless or lost. They are often core beliefs held by ourselves that can provide direction when we’re not sure what to do in a given situation. They can help us choose which path to take. However, sometimes values conflict, and you may have to sacrifice one for the sake of another–usually you would follow the one that most strongly aligns with your long-term goals, but sometimes it’s hard to see which one that really is. Using your Wise Mind can help you come to the best conclusion.
-Pandora
a dbt skills cheat sheet/illustration i did last may in IOP
prompt was what’s in your tool shed(ie coping skills) so i also did a “mind garden” to go with it
We are on our challenge of don't text him again, wahoo!
Yeah, no, I feel like shit when I text him and bother him and I even mixed up two days and that was terrible I felt so bad.
But I also feel like shit when I am not checking in with him. I have no idea how he is doing?? He could have been kidnapped or be dying right now and I wouldn't know.
I talked to people form dbt (a type of group therapy) and they knew exactly what I was talking about which was really nice.
But I'm just gonna not text him because that seems less annoying?