I Love Being A Swiftie!!!

i love being a swiftie!!!

just... look 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

DEAR MAN

A DBT Skill for Interpersonal Effectiveness

Use this skill to help you get what you need without damaging relationships or compromising your integrity.

Describe: State the facts of the situation.

Express: Use I-statements to express your feelings and take responsibility for them. I-statements prevent the other person from getting defensive.

Assert: Assert yourself by asking for what you need or by saying no firmly. Speak simply and clearly.

Reinforce: Make sure the other person knows what they will gain by granting your request. It’s important to reinforce that the relationship is a two-way street.

(Stay) Mindful: Stay focused on the conversion. If the person starts getting defensive, keep the conversation on track.

Appear Confident: Regardless of how you feel on the inside, project confidence with your body language; stand or sit up straight with your head held high, voice clear and strong, and make eye contact.

Negotiate: If the person isn’t on board with your request, remember that you are asking for something, not making demands. Modify your request to make it more appealing to them, and/or try asking them their thoughts on solving the problem together.

*More DBT guides here*

Wise Mind

This diagram breaks down the states of mind that we experience.

Please note that neither side is “good” or “bad”; the aim of practicing mindfulness is to combine both and act in your own best interest.

Emotion Mind

Feelings control actions

Can disregard the facts of a situation

Impulsivity based on emotions in the moment

Self-injurious behavior 

Reasonable Mind

Logic controls actions

Detached from emotions

Can invalidate your emotional experience

Wise mind

Combines the facts of a situation with the emotional experience

Helps you process a situation before acting

Mindfulness will help get you here

*More DBT guides here*

ACCEPTS DBT Worksheet

*Corresponding DBT Skill*

This worksheet is a way for you to plan ahead and show up for yourself when you're in distress.

Print this out, fill it in and have it as a tangible list of things to take your focus off the emotional storm and avoid harmful coping mechanisms. 

List activities that will take your focus in the moment (for example draw, play a video game, put together a small puzzle)

List things you can do with someone who calms you (for example help with washing dishes, fold laundry, cook a meal)

List 2 times before when you were struggling emotionally and got through it (to remind yourself that you have before and can survive again)

List things you can do to activate opposite emotions (for example watch some funny videos to counteract sadness with laughter)

List numbers you can call for help (For example a crisis hotline, therapist, or loved one)

Bonus Project: Self-Soothing Tool Box 

Fill a small box with anything that you can grab in a moment of stress to occupy your 5 senses.

This can include things like fidget toys, stress balls, mini plushies, small puzzles (25 pieces or so), a laundry sheet or perfume that calms you, a print out of the lyrics to one of your favorite songs, photos of loved ones, a Box Breathing guide, post-it notes with helpful affirmations, and even sour candies or mints.

The goal here is to have a go-to collection of self-soothing assistants so you're not searching and struggling in the midst of your distress.

*More DBT Skill guides here*

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

So happy to be here and to share❤️