Its Been 25 Weeks Since I Last Interacted.

It’s been 25 weeks since I last interacted.

With every day that passes, I am so much more awake and aware of the horrible HORRIBLE things he did to me.

Hey, I just wanted to say that your blog really gave me new hope and you’re such a strong and inspiring person. I „just“ suffered emotional abuse, so I cannot even imagine the hell you went through, but I’m glad you made it! Have a nice day :)

Hello there! Sorry for the delayed response. I can get overwhelmed by nice gestures and be at a loss for a response. Thank you for reaching out - it’s not always easy. I’m sorry you connect with anything in my blog, but I’m glad if you’ve found it helpful in any way.

Thank you for the compliments. I don’t always feel strong, and I certainly didn’t at the beginning. There are days where…well there are still some really bad days. Healing and recovery are gradual and you can’t rush them. You are strong too, it’s inside of you. You may only see it when you look back weeks/months/ years from now. But I promise that you are.

Sorry, I’m exhausted and rambling. Feel free to reach out any time.

I use objects sometimes. Toys, enhancers, paraphernalia.

I use just my hands other times.  Or a blanket, or a pillow.

I take my time. I explore. I learn.

I smile when I’m getting close.

I laugh through my orgasms.

I feel no guilt.

I feel sexy. I feel power. I feel whole.

Never again will this body be bound to you.

From December to Now.  This is what progress looks like.

I masturbate now.

Since you found out the depths of my depravity, I found myself feeling sick when the fire within me flickered.

Not anymore. I will nourish the flame without guilt.

And then I remember something like how he would force me to share a towel with him after a shower if he was angry...

"to save money"

It was his birthday up until almost 2 hours ago. I feel especially guilty today for 'abandoning' him.