Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.
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You Hit A Certain Point In The Healing Process Where These Memories Scandalize And Enrage You.
You hit a certain point in the healing process where these memories scandalize and enrage you.
It's progress.
Being sick is an excuse: Episode 5.
Once I had a bronchial infection and I was coughing terribly. I couldn't sleep, my head was always pounding, and I wasn't eating much.
He insisted we have sex. I was literally having coughing fits as it happened. When he finished he said "Well that wasn't much fun" and then sent me to sleep on the couch so I wouldn't infect him.
Can you imagine?
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More Posts from Enoughdonegone
It was years. YEARS.
May Sarton, from Recovering: A Journal [ID in alt text]
Cheers to not letting the monster take over.
““How to make a monster: First you must take something innocent, then feed it hate, ridicule and betrayal. All that is left is a soul poisoned by the world.””
— -via iitisveryoverrated (via bialyanqueen)
October is the start of past trauma season for me.
I dropped the ball on pumpkins this year, so I missed out on the catharsis. I am feeling drained because of work, but I don't feel the usual nonsense. Not yet, anyway.
I've been out from under his thumb for 6 years as of almost 2 weeks ago. He ruined my sense of self and nearly killed me.
But I'm still here. And while I'll probably always be a bit of a mess, he'll die knowing that he failed in his attempts to squash me completely.
Fuck that guy.
Support Character - Part 1
When we were teenagers and I was still living at home, he worked very hard to get me to play Ultima Online. It's an online RPG game, similar in style to World of Warcraft.
Silly me, I thought he wanted me to participate in something he enjoyed. Of course not, he wanted me to play healer.
That can be fun in some scenarios, but of course it wasn't here. I didn't get any input on quests, areas or achievements. It equated to me following him around everywhere, and clicking the heal while he played.
I was in the support role. It was all about him. It was to be the theme of the next 12 years of my life.