Prompt 63

Prompt 63

After The Mountain™, Jaskier is desperate to prove himself a Worthy Travel Companion™ to Geralt, so he decides to take up alchemy. Perhaps if he gets very good at brewing Geralt's potions, Geralt will find him worthy of keeping around. When Geralt takes Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, he can't help but notice that Jaskier is suddenly spending every possible second with Lambert. LAMBERT. I mean, he loves his brother, don't get him wrong! But Lambert? Geralt's words were cruel, and he was still working out the full apology he wanted to give Jaskier (He deserved better than just an "I'm sorry") but he's worried that he's already lost his chance, as Jaskier is seemingly finding himself a new witcher.

Prompt 70

Jaskier is the worst roommate Geralt could ever ask for. He comes home at odd hours of the night, constantly makes noise and chatter, and he brings home random strangers almost every damn night. It'll be three in the morning when Jaskier stumbles in, drunk off his ass, heeled shoes loudly clicking against their floor as he meanders about, squinting and knocking things over. At least he has the decency to mumble "Sorry" every time he breaks something, but is he apologizing to Geralt, or apologizing to the damn mop? He talks to himself, he sings to himself, he sings as a hobby, he sings as a job, he plays his lute/guitar loudly all throughout the day and night, he even talks in his damn sleep. Constant humming, singing, talking, muttering, whispering. Hookups and flings and fuckbuddies galore, both women and men. Not that Geralt cares, it was just something he observed. They'd steal his food, or use up the shower when Geralt was meant to be getting ready for work, or they'd leave and keep the door unlocked. The worst was when Jaskier's bachelor of the night mistook Geralt's bedroom for Jaskier's bedroom and very happily cozied up and went to sleep in Geralt's bed. Naked. Geralt didn't even care if he was high, drunk, or just dumb, he threw him out all the same. When Geralt's girlfriend, Yennefer, breaks up with him, he is comforted by Jaskier of all people. Coming home tipsy and without a shirt, and yet still sitting down next to Geralt and giving him a thoughtful, long, deep pep-talk. Maybe he isn't all bad, after all. Geralt is the worst roommate Jaskier could ever ask for. Don't get Jaskier wrong, Geralt is unbelievably easy on the eyes, but that's pretty much all he has. Geralt always looms silently in the dark, offers brutal remarks at best and grunts at worst, and for some reason always has a little blood on him. It'll be three in the morning when Jaskier stumbles in, drunk off his ass, and Geralt will just walk out of the shadows with an insanely deep "Did you remember to lock the door?", scaring the bleeding daylights out of him! He walks quieter than a damn cat! He should wear a bell like one! Fuck's sakes! Geralt's ~lovely~ comments are always harsh but sadly never truly unprompted. Jaskier will get stuck on a line and ask aloud for help, momentarily forgetting his only recent company has been Geralt, and Geralt will sometimes oblige him with an answer, such as "Can you shut up for five minutes?" "It's too late for this shit." "I hate it." So on and so forth. Jaskier learns to stop asking... Mostly. Jaskier went to shave one time, and found blood in the sink. He looked over at Geralt and asked him if he had cut himself shaving. Geralt said no. Jaskier REASONABLY asked why there had been blood in the sink, and got the answer "Work." WORK?????? "And your job is what?! BLEEDING INTO SINKS!?" and yet Geralt was already walking out the door. But then one night he comes home, to find Geralt waiting for him - Silently, alone in the dark, just sat there. Like always. Weirdo. - demanding his half of the rent. Fuck. Fuck, Jaskier completely forgot- Jaskier starts panicking. He explains how he doesn't have the money, that some of his latest gigs have backed out on him or refused him pay for bullshit reasons and he didn't earn as much as he expected to, and begs to not be kicked out. He's surprised when Geralt calms him down from his spiral, and tells him to take a deep breath and wash away his tears - Shit, when did he start crying? - He comes back and Geralt sits him down and explains he'll cover the entire rent this month, his work had gone extra well recently. He knows what it's like for people to pull out pay or suddenly ignore your deal, and won't hold it against Jaskier, but expects him to be able to pay next time. Jaskier is so overjoyed he hugs Geralt. And Geralt lets him. Maybe he isn't all bad, after all.

Prompt 71

The other witchers at Kaer Morhen have always grown tired of Geralt's random moodswings and bouts of gloom and grumpiness during the winter. He'd be happy and carefree, safe in his home, and then some dark thought would crest in his mind, and for a few days straight, he'd be in a horrible mood. When one year he brings his bard with him, they realize the moodswings have disappeared completely. That is, until Jaskier starts trying to "bond" with them all and spends less time with Geralt. Then all of a sudden the snarls and snaps from Geralt are back. One day, Lambert gets tired of Geralt's sass, and shoves Jaskier at him, and they're all amazed when Geralt loses his bad mood and instead chooses to carry his bard off to cuddle in front of the fireplace. Nuzzling him and purring the whole time. Thus commences a new rule of Kaer Morhen. If you spot Geralt being pissy, you chuck the bard at him. Jaskier has been taken away from a meal, a game of gwent, his chores, his bed while asleep, and one especially embarrassing time he was taken from a bath. Jaskier is quite alright with the new rule, as it always ends in deligthtful Geralt cuddles, but sometimes he wishes Geralt would just find Jaskier instead of moping when he misses him.

Prompt 73

Geralt, as a deity, gets many an offering. However, he's known for slaying creatures and monsters and (through what is mostly rumors) Humans, so all his offerings reflect this. Blades, and blood, and dead things, and money and hide in exchange for safety of their families and villages. He's intrigued when he starts getting regular offerings in the form of... Handwritten, meaningful, sincerely admiring songs recounting his 'adventures' and his 'hardest battles', all of which are made up. Geralt sees no harm in perhaps telling the human some real stories to make some accurate songs. No harm at all. Apparently there was some harm. As the rest of his "followers" have grown jealous of Jaskier (the human with the song offerings) - So jealous in fact, they've decided to try offering Jaskier himself to Geralt.

Prompt 68

The witcher boys run a sanctuary for monsters. Lambert is off on his honeymoon with Aiden, and they're down a pair of hands, so they go about hiring someone to help around the plot. Only problem is only one person shows up to try and get the job. A twink with bright eyes and a big smile, in fancy colorful clothing, who admitted to knowing NOTHING about any of the monsters, and wants to do all of this for "Song Material." Geralt doubts he'll last a week. Eskel puts Geralt in charge of training him. Godsdamn it all.

Prompt 72

Geralt can't look at Jaskier any more. His heart starts beating too fast for a witcher, he loses his breath, his skin heats up, and he gets a weird queasy feeling in his stomach, as if he's drank too much of a potion. Fuck. Is Jaskier cursed???