I Need Someone To Write A Fanfic Where The League Are Convinced They Work Like Doctor Who Right Now Oh

I need someone to write a fanfic where the League are convinced they work like Doctor Who right now oh my god this is gold

Tim starts spreasing a rumor that every Robin is the same person, they just work like Doctor Who.

Even better: no one was ever told otherwise so everyone just assumed they were the same person and the kids lean into it

Bruce: This is my sidekick, Robin.

8-year-old Dick: Nice to meet you, Mr. Superman!

Clark: Nice to meet you too, Robin.

———————

12-year-old Jason: 'Sup.

Oliver: Robin, you look... different.

Jason: What's that supposed to mean?

Oliver: Nothing. I mean, different is good, right?

———————

14-year-old Tim: I'm here! Sorry I'm late.

Barry: Wait, I thought Robin died.

Tim: I got better.

Barry: I see.

Barry: The pants are a nice touch.

———————

Damian: I have arrived. You may now grovel in my presence.

Arthur: Alright, this one MUST be a different child.

Damian: What are you talking about?

Arthur: You are six inches shorter than last month.

Damian: Perhaps you got taller.

Arthur: That... actually makes me feel better. Thank you.

———————

Steph: *walks in*

Hal: Someone tell me what the hell's going on.

Steph: I transitioned.

Chapters: 3/11 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Batman: Hush (2019) Chapter summary: In which Dick brushes his teeth, Tim and Jason eat a salad, and Jason and Barbara's phone calls go about just as well.

What's this? Me, forgetting to tell y'all the fic got updated for days? It's more likely than you'd think!

A very important thing to me about the batfam magical girl AU is that the rest of the characters are classic dc comics characters. Which means that while they have many similarities (magical girls are like lantern corps with more glitter and less police anyway, and the magical batfam story can get really dark and tragic at times), they're constantly faced with the clash between comics logic and magical girl anime logic. By which I mean:

______

Bruce, waking up the morning after adopting Dick on impulse and then sleeping the sleep of the dead: Wait, since when do I have a son? Eh, it doesn't matter.

Clark, who was listening into Gotham for whatever reason: The fuck it doesn't?

_____

Lex Luthor: How did you know about my evil evil plan?

Tim: A little bird told me.

Kon: Really, robs?

*cue glittery red robin with a crescent moon on its head landing on Tim's shoulder and speaking in an annoyingly high-pitched voice*

_____

Jason: With the power of love and this gun I found-

Kyle: Can you be serious for one fucking second?

Jason: No actually I am. I was gonna shoot the guy and accidentally left my heart open to channel the energy of the Galaxy and in doing so I saw the man for all that he could be and the magic of the Robin and the Wolf combined to make the gun magic and when the bullet hit him it changed the man on a fundamental level and he realised he wanted to follow his lost dream of selling portraits by the beach instead of trafficking people.

Kyle: what-

Jason: he died a few minutes later though. I did still shoot him in the heart.

_____

After Justice League shenanigans lead to a multiverse portal opening:

Failsafe!Batman: -so I pulled out the shark repellent to fight he jokerized space sharks, and then I fell from the moon-

Magical!Batman: That doesn't make any sense! Shark repellent spray is an absurd thing to have in your utility belt and besides, you don't just fall off from the moon!

Green Arrow : Finally somebody said it.

Magical!Batman: You have to take the magic portal on the other side of the moon!

Green Arrow: ...Spoke too soon.

This meeting could have been a hatefuck

Edit: Thanks for voting! I'm taking note that 32 of y'all are terrible at following instructions

I was going to say yes to everything but while I think Turkish guy is hilarious I cannot ignore the Jason and Roy slander. They win the airborne bomb shooting contest fair and square (one guy shoots grenade arrows into the sky and the other shoots the grenade mid-air to make fireworks while back flipping over his partner.)

The Wayne Olympics. But instead of an Olympics style event, it’s the Wayne kids plus their friends partaking in one unhinged event after another.

Barbara puts together the opening ceremony with Cass as the Assassin's Creed torchbearer someone please draw this

Damian and Jon are the judges, rating them on Fabulousness, Memeability, and How Many Heart Attacks Will Bruce Have

Bruce is in the audience will 15 cups of coffee because no way he's falling asleep now (the Justice League is mildly concerned)

Kate and Selina team up against Harley and Ivy in the Queer Women's Volleyball Escape Room

Dick and Wally win the Synchronized Time Travel Gymnastics medal by performing their routine with dinosaurs

Luke easily wins in Chess Boxing even though he overslept and showed up late

Harper scales the Wayne Enterprises tower instead of rock climbing and Cullen is her cheerleader

Tim, Kon, Bart, and Cassie win the Intercontinental Quadathalon, starting from Argentina and ending in South Africa (the four events are running, swimming, biking, and skateboarding)

Bette enters the Laser Rollerblading Table Tennis event using batarangs instead of paddles

Duke and his friends get the gold in Arctic Tandem Mountain Biking

Steph and Lois go head-to-head in the Taekwondo Cooking competition and both get silver to Alfred

Helena finishes first in Underwater Soccer and when Italy asks if they can have the medal she refuses

Jason and Roy enter the shooting contest. Somehow that Turkish guy shows up and beats them both