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brewing up something devious (batfamily alien au. tim gets abducted and somehow manages to make it onto their ship. it’s chaos.)

Guard Dog

jason todd x fem!reader

aka don’t fuck with jason’s girlfriend

4 in 1 blurbs

warnings: mildly creepy guys, standard protective bf methods

Jason’s good at shutting people up very quickly. You’d almost call it a talent.

He shuts you up with a kiss when you get stuck in a rant, or with a hug to calm your worried rambles.

And when you’re in an incorrigibly teasing mood, he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you back to your bedroom to really shut you up.

With other people though, he has…different methods.

You sit atop your kitchen counter, trading lazy kisses in between giggles with your boyfriend. He stands in front of you, hands massaging your thighs as he leans in for another. You happily oblige.

You break off the exchange to lay a series of sweet kisses on that spot under his jaw.

His head tilts back, letting out a groan so low you nearly miss it. “Sweetheart…” he warns.

“Sorry…” you resign with a sheepish smile.

A knock at the door bursts you out of your shared reverie. You press a kiss to his knuckles and hop down to start setting the table.

Jason gets the door, greeting the pizza guy with a nod as you shuffle around the kitchen. The delivery guy hands him a receipt, asking for a signature.

Jason uses the door as a surface to sign, giving the delivery guy an apt view into your apartment, where he sees you getting out plates in the kitchen. More noticeably, he sees you in your boyfriend's shirt, which rides up just a little bit when you stand up on your toes to reach the top cabinet. The lift of the shirt exposes the bottom of your underwear, though it falls back into place again just as quickly.

Now, lucky for this guy, Jason’s facing the door and does not see him checking you out in your own home. Unlucky for this guy, he has wildly misread the vibe of your relationship. Or at least your boyfriend.

“Man, how do you get anything done around here?” He jests.

Jason looks up at him, and the pizza man’s eyes tear away from your legs to meet his hard gaze. It does not take him long to realize his mistake.

“Try again.” Jason behests, arms crossed in front of him.

The pizza boy’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head, stuttering. “I—uh, I said have a good night.”

“Mhm.” He grumbles.

The pizza guy hands Jason the box with shaky hands and scuttles back down the hallway.

Thankfully, you didn’t seem to notice the exchange, but even so, your boyfriend still glowers down the hallway after him.

“Jay?”

His attention snaps back to you, demeanor changing instantly. “Yeah, baby?”

You’re sitting in your usual spot at the table, his chair empty and waiting just around the corner from you.

“Come sit.” You say, with eyes that might as well be hearts.

He gives a reassuring nod and kicks the door shut behind him.

You and Jason are sitting on the floor in his old room at the manor, your legs thrown over his. You lean up against his bed, asking him about posters on the walls and trinkets on the shelves.

His knee is propped up and your arm dangles across it, his hand in yours. He plays with your fingers and periodically leans forward to leave a kiss on them.

You’d just woken up less than an hour ago after spending the night post-gala, and it’s a peaceful, if not unusually quiet morning.

Dick shouts your name from another room, audibly booking it towards you. Yeah. That’s more like what Jason remembers.

He grumbles some annoyances, dropping his head against your intertwined hands.

Dick bursts into the room, clearly incredibly excited.

“What’s up, Dick?” You ask, calm as ever. Jason lets an unseen smile creep up, head still down.

Dick’s practically jumping up and down, “You gotta see the shit that Tim just found in the cave!” His face drops as he directs his gaze to Jason, “You’re not invited.”

“Thank God.”

Dick ignores him and grabs your wrist, yanking you up from the floor. This is one place where he differs from Jason—he’s not always quite so aware of his own strength.

His grip doesn’t hurt really, but it’s firm enough that you imagine there’ll be bruise marks there later.

“Hey.” Jason calls out, nodding his head to where Dick is holding your arm. “Ease up.”

Dick follows his gaze and immediately loosens his hold, apologizing to you before pulling you along once again (this time much more gentle).

You grin at Jason as he tugs you out the door, him returning it with an endeared smile as he watches you go.

Fuck he loves you.

Jason had a decent break from his night job for once, and was happy to let you drag him out to a bar for a little date. You’d been linked at the hip for most of the night, his hands maintaining their ever present home on your waist and yours resting on his thighs as you tell him about your hectic day.

He’d usually prefer to stay in bed with you for as long as possible when he gets time off, but you’d looked so excited asking him to go out with you—he never stood a chance.

You look up into the mirror as you wash your hands, a strand of hair falling into your face as you do. You push it back behind your ear and smile to yourself, recalling the several times Jason had wordlessly done the same throughout the night as you rambled.

You make your way back to the bar, smile immediate on your face when you see your boyfriend. It gets replaced rather quickly though, when a man slides in front of you, cutting off your view of him.

“Hey there.”

You have to take a step back because of how close he decided to stand to you. He looks sober (enough) but wildly overconfident in whatevers about to happen.

"Let me buy you a drink, pretty thing."

Jason calls you pretty thing sometimes. It makes the blood rush to your cheeks and an inescapable smile creep up on your lips. When this guy says it, it makes you literally frown.

"Oh no, I'm okay, my—"

"You seem like a dirty martini kinda girl." He expertly ignores you, clearly trying and failing to make some kind of innuendo there.

Jason's sitting back against the bar, watching the interaction carefully. You still can’t see him, but he’s close and you can rest comfortable knowing he’s looking out for you.

With that reassurance, you don’t play this out quite as carefully as you would if you were alone.

"Look, I don't want a drink from you, thanks."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say to him because his face contorts quickly to mock-disgust that you figure is really just embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t be a bitch just ‘cause—”

You try to sidestep around him, thoroughly done with this interaction, but he grabs your upper arm harshly, pulling you to an abrupt stop.

Jason stands up real quick, yanking the guy backwards by his collar before you can even process what's happening.

Now, you know that Jason is an objectively intimidating guy. There's not many people that will come face to face with that absolute unit of a man and still decide to keep on trying him. However, you tend to forget that when you're so used to your gentle giant that only ever speaks to you kindly and touches you softly.

But his intimidating status becomes very apparent when the guy spins around, looks up at Jason, and immediately takes four steps back. He actually almost bumps into you in the process, not doing anything to tame Jason’s acute distaste for this man.

"Listen to me—back the fuck off before you get hurt."

“She—”

“I don’t give a fuck. Leave.”

The guy hesitates.

“Now.” Jason adjusts his posture to stand at his staggering full height, clearly with no qualms about putting him back in his place.

That does it for him, the man stumbllng away with half-committed mumbles of “whatever” or “something something lame anyway.”

Jason watches him until he walks out the door, before turning back to you.

He delicately takes your upper arm in his hand, pulling your sleeve up to search for bruising. But as harshly as he had grabbed you, it didn’t have the time to cause a bruise before Jason intervened.

“What’d he say to you?” Jason asks, brow furrowed as he inspects your arm.

“Nothing very interesting.” He looks at you mildly.

You smile and comb his hair back from his forehead, “Don’t worry about him. I’m good.”

He lets your arm go, and exchanges it for holding the back of your head, planting a kiss on your forehead.

You take his other hand and guide him back to your seats.

“Besides,” You look over his shoulder and let out a little shocked gasp. “Guess who just walked in.”

He gives you a questioning look before his face slacks, eyes widening in realization.

“No…” And you smile so brightly it almost makes up for what's coming his way.

You redirect your smile over his shoulder and give a wave to the door. Jason swigs down the rest of his drink, hand finding your waist once again.

“Jaybird!”

Jason’s still exhausted from patrol last night but he’d insisted on going with you to the bar to meet your friends. You’d tried to convince him that it was okay to stay in and rest tonight, you’d be fine. But it was a losing battle.

You suspect it has something to do with him not liking when you go out in Gotham at night, especially when you’re drinking.

So he hangs out in the background of the buzz, with you sat in front of him, in between his legs.

You’re talking it up with Roy, who’s been making jokes about how Jason’s “moody ass” tricked you, “the ray of sunshine” into this relationship somehow.

You laugh, taking a sip of your drink. “Right, ‘cause you and Kori were in love at first sight.”

"Oh, fuck off." Roy jeers.

He doesn't say it with the cadence of a joke, but it is.

You know he's joking, he knows he's joking.

Jason, who very well may have been tuned out of the conversation up to that point, does not seem to know he's joking—or he doesn't care.

You don't need to look behind you to know that your boyfriend is in defensive mode, though the look of regret mixed with amusement on Roy's face gives a solid hint.

You hold your hand out to block Jason his path as he moves forward. He lets you stop him, though you're certain he could get past you without so much as blinking, no problem.

"Right. My bad, forgot your guard dog was here. Don't fuck off." Roy backtracks, hands up in front of him.

Jason just rolls his eyes, slouching back down. You reach behind you for his hand, giving it two squeezes. You know he’s tired, so much so that he almost punched his best friend for making a typical joke.

“Five more minutes, okay?” You say softly over your shoulder.

He nods at you blearily, and ducks his head down to rest on your back. You adjust your posture a little bit to make it more comfortable for him and continue on talking, his hand still in yours.

If he hadn’t fallen asleep so quickly, five minutes would’ve been five minutes, but instead it became something more like fifty.

He goes through patches where sleep isn’t always so welcoming, a phase he’s been in for the past couple of weeks. You’d been waking up to find the bed half empty, your boyfriend resigned to doing research on cases in an attempt to at least be productive while he’s awake.

You can’t protect him in the same ways that he protects you—you’re not a fighter or necessarily “intimidating.” But you can protect him like this, in these little ways. Letting him nap on you, making him close the case files and rest with you, holding his hand throughout the night so that when he inevitably has nightmares, he knows immediately that you’re still with him. That he’s safe.

So if he can get some much needed sleep while only costing you a stiff back tomorrow, you’ll happily take that deal as many times as he needs.

I know the fic referenced but I have a rent free idea

Warnings: Heavy Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Here was the known facts:

Timothy Drake (Tim) had left Wayne Manor at three minutes to six to attend a date with his Boyfriend Bernard Dowd at six thirty sharp. He was meant to arrive back at Wayne manor to start his patrol as Red Robin at eight fifteen. However the only thing on the list to happen was Tim leaving.

Bernard Dowd was Tim's boyfriend of four months. They were comfortable and understood eachother which was why when Tim failed to show up to the planned date Bernard didn't think to much of it. Tim was know to skip on dates ocassionally being a n emergency family matter or simply crashing after having stayed up to long. However he always made sure to text Bernard by the time Bernard woke back up in the morning with an apology and a promise of a lunch date later that day.

Bernard Dowd woke up at seven, earlier than normal for the weekend, but meant he could conspiracy theory some stuff more. He checked his phone but had no messages besides some Theory board updates and a text from a spam number about an online dating website he wasn't a part of. He grew worried. Tim was known to get injuries so he opened the contacts and pulled up Stephanie Brown's number.

Stephanie Brown was Tim's ex girlfriend, which would make many insecure, but after the initial awkwardness Bernard and Stephanie built up a solid friendship. Pressing the call button at seven minutes past seven Stephanie answered with a yawn.

"Stephanie do you know where Tim is?"

Which wasn't a polite way to greet on the phone but stress was a fair excuse.

Stephanie Brown jumped up, "I thought he was with you and just didn't want to be disturbed?"

It was at that moment when neither knew where Tim was that warning bells started going off.

"He never showed up for our sate so I thought something was going on with the family, but he didn't text me so I thought something happened."

Stephanie ran around her apartment gathering her things and sliding on the first presentable peices of clothing she could before running out the door and slamming it behind her.

"He left about six to meet up with you."

"Did he talk about something happening to someone else."

"I'll text everyone else, but Bernard make sure you stay put he might come to your house."

Stephanie hung up the phone at a quarter past seven and started texting everyone within the vigilante community asking if they knew where Tim was.

Everyone who replied back said no and Jason had sent a few extra swears with a few comments about worrying people.

Stephanie Brown sounded the emergency button as she ran to the nearest safe house to get her stuff.

-)(-

When the emergency alarm went off Bruce had just finished drinking his coffee and reading the newest rumor in the tabloids. Something about Batman being a reporter in the Daily Planet.

Bruce rushed down to the Batcave quickly followed by Damian who still had Titus on a leash as he did so.

Reaching the batcomputer, Bruce saw the alarm was sounded by Stephanie Brown.

Answering the alarm and showing Stephanie location as being close to a safe house he opens a comn communication.

"Spoiler report."

"RR didn't show up to his date last night a no one knows where he is."

Bruce's heart skipped a beat before he took a deep breath. Tim had probably done some vigilante work between leaving and the date, got an injury and passed out in a safe house.

Bruce pulls up Tim's location, and find it in the middle of the Harbour.

Damian who had thus far been quite stilled.

Bruce sounded the full emergency system alerting all Batman associated vigilantes and anti-heroes to an emergency.

-)(-

Damian was used to stupid things happening to his siblings and fellow vigilantes. He was used to Stephanie Brown overreacting sometimes. She was well meaning, but jumped the gun sometimes when distressed which was why when the emergency beacon turned to be sent by Brown he thought the possibility of a not big issue.

When revealed that Drake had infact been MIA since six the previous night it was more concerning. Drake may not be his favourite person but when no one had seen Drake in twelve hours he was normally injured or eight hours deep in an old cold case.

Furthermore the worry for Drake tenfold when location revealed the middle of Gotham Harbour. When jma tracked appeared in the middle of the Harbour something bad normally followed which was why he justified his concern. Not because Drake was legally his older brother, but a displaced tracker meant all hands on deck for whatever was happening next.

"Father what is the plan."

"I have already dispatched Batwing to check the tracker, but have called everyone to the nearest safe house with communication device to conference."

It was a few minutes later that the screen lit up with the feed from Oracle's Cloak Tower with Huntress and Catwomen beside her.

"What's going on?"

"Drake's tracker is in the middle of Gotham Harbour and no one has a location past when he left night for his romantic partner last night."

Barbra stilled and there was a intake of a breath from Huntress who was half in gear and half looking ready for rest.

Another screen window popped up and Stephanie Brown's face appeared.

"He left the manor at six, was supposed to meet Bernard at six thirty, be back by eight, but he didn't show up, and no one knows a location."

Oracle starts tapping away at computer screens and pulling up security footage.

Video footage from under water appears from Batwing. Showing a half broken tracker being held in hand.

"Nothing else belonging to Red has been found nearby."

-)(-

Jason had just woken up from a nap in his apartment. It was a slow night with some complaining from a couple of the Bats due to the replacement being missing, but nothing but a couple of small mugging and a would be child kidnapping.

He had just finished glaring at the mirror for a minute trying to remember why he got up when he saw that he communicator was going off.

Either Roy needed something, Kory had found a new thing to share, or one of the Brats needed something. However it was the community wide emergency alert.

Moving over to the screen kept to answer said calls, because even if it wasn't the end of the world there would be arguing which would lead to dome entertainment for him and frustration for the old man.

Opening the window he sees that the Clock Tower, Batcave, Blonde, and qn underwater screen are there.

The demon brat glares at him before announcing, "Todd, Drake has gone missing at Batwing has found the tracker in the middle of the Harbour."

Okay so it wasn't aliens or Duke accidently pushing a button because no one explained the buttons on the bat computer to him, but Timbo has gone missing.

"I've locked down his last known location."

Okay Barbie knowns where he was, he got injured and forgot to check in this will be resolved in five minutes.

"Location?"

"Allyway, two blocks west from Neli's diner where Tim was to meet Bernard. There is an audible screen, the doubt of a struggle ane he doesn't appear leaving any of the areas."

More concerning, but someone just got the drop on the kid, and dome low rank criminal would send a video wanting ransom and would be over in a couple hours at best.

Duke's screen appeared from atop a building on his patrol route. Quickly followed by Cass who was patrolling in Hong Kong.

"Duke, I'm sending a location I need you to check it out keep the front camera on so we can view."

Oracle sends a location.

"Cass, Tim is MIA, but don't rush back yet, the could be low level rich people kidnapping.

That was when the emergency news turned on Jason's TV.

-)(-

Bruce was tense, but he could jot aford to think of the worst. However he got a pop up of the emergency news.

"This is just in, Arkam was broken out of last night, punchline, Joker's new girlfriend broke out Joker earlier last night. It is unknown how jo signals were sent out about the breakout, but it has now been eighteen hours since the last check in. Make sure you have your gas masks, stay inside and don't go out alone until notice of capture has been sent out."

The windows pops away.

Bruce can't breathe. Joker escaped last night, no one knew until now, and Tim was missing. Tim was missing and the Joker was out.

Bruce grips the computer desk as he breaths in. Jason is on the screen, Jason whi died, Jason who he failed to save, Jason who still didn't handle being around Bruce very well.

Joker who killed Jason. Joker who took his second son from him. Joker who might have taken his third son.

Bruce slams down on the all hands on deck emergency button and starts running to get his suit on.

-)(-

Duke didn't allow himself to think about the possible connection as he arrived to the alley. He jumped down looking around. It was dirty and appeared ro have housed a couple back alley fights recently, but it was when he stepped further in that he saw a Red Robin issue projectile with blood on it. He picks it up and puts it in a safety bag.

He looks around and find peices of clothing. A dark material with part of a zipper on it, and a length of prison orange fabric.

It could have been from anyone. It didn't have to be from Joker. It could have been from any Arcam breakout or someone with a sick sense of style.

He didn't allow himself to think about his parents still in the ICU with Joker toxin faces. He didn't allow himself to think about the horror stories Jason tells them when he trauma dumps. He didn't allow himself to think of the graveyards, the laughter, the destruction.

He rushes back as fast as he can to the Batcave. It takes twenty minutes going his top spends but he makes it, definitely jot two minutes from a break down.

-)(-

Stephanie Brown was many things. She was optimistic when needed, an amazing fighter, caring, and compassionate, but she was not an idiot. The probability of Tim's kidnapping and Joker's breakout being connected were high. However she couldn't deal with the very real possibility right now so she deals with suiting up and rushing as quickly as she can to start the Joker protocol that Bruce issued.

-)(-

Three weeks.

Three horrible weeks.

Bruce hadn't slept in days, half of them were injured, and Jason was sedated after having gone into a violence induced by panic. Richard was smiling even if no one else was because he didn't want to remember the statistics of survival. Damian was having his own mental crisis but that was beyond the point.

Cassandra who flew in two weeks ago was crying softly because her little brother was most likely dead.

Oracle had exhausted all resources.

Bruce was the worst.

He was sitting at the computer looking over all known information for the thousandth time as if it would just open up a new peice of information.

He couldn't and wouldn't think about the funeral, the lowering of a coffin, the grave stone, the broken bruised and bloodied body of Jason as he thought about Tim.

He had failed.

Time if not dead was close to it, and probably was in more pain than what Bruce ever wanted his children to feel.

Everyone was tired. No one was giving up when an emergency video from the news appeared up again. No news caster, but a hand held camera with Joker in view.

"Batsy, Basty, Batsy. You are your birds have been searching oh so very hard for the missing Birdie, but it's too late."

Oracle had tracked a location of the video and no hesitation everyone was moving out. Rushing down the streets as quickly as they could.

-)(-

The building was one that no one had found.

It was old and as they followed into the building dropping down until they area of what looked to be a creepy version of a stereotypical family home, they saw Joker reading a paper and Punchline dusting a broken fireplace mantle.

"Well that's no way to enter a house."

Batman surged forward when nets fell down on everyone. Heavyweight and would be hard to move.

"Don't interrupt the joke before the punchline. It's rude to hurt the comedian."

"Where is Red Robin?!"

"Who?"

"Where is Robin?!"

"OH you mean the annoying birdie?? Not here anymore."

"Where is HE!"

Joker gives out a laugh before punchline wheels in a older TV and pressing the play button.

Our Family Story

"You see Batsy, we've been thinking, we wanted to add some more members to our family, but the whole process of having a child?"

"Takes to long." Punchline exclaims.

"We could adopt, but we thought you have so many children that taking one would help you out."

-)(-

There was three things Stephanie knew about the situation. That she wanted to put Joker six feet under, that Tim was tortured by the Joker, and that she was going to take Jason's revenge upon the dead and do it herself.

There Tim was, well what was left of Tim. He was standing there. Skin a translucent white, clown makeup just a tad neater than the Joker's, dark green hair, a Joker suit and a crazed smile.

Stephanie had tears in her eyes. Tim who had been there for her in some of the worst points in her life, Tim who had forgiven her for the dead stunt she pulled years ago, Tim who had come out to Stephanie first, and Tim who had finally found happiness was now Joker Junior with a trick gun pointed at Bruce. Tim who hadn't killed anyone even. Tim who had forgiven Jason for the crimes he committed and the harm he had done.

Tim who was just ordered to shoot Bruce and kill Batman. Tim who had tears in his eyes as he struggled to point the gun away from Bruce as he quickly moved it to Joker before he pulled the trigger and sent the flag through Joker's chest killing him.

Tim who just broke down laugh crying as Bruce finally struggled out of the net and crushed Tim in a hug.

Tim was saved from Joker and Punchline in the physical sense, but Tim might have died mentally.

Junior what got you smiling like that? 🤡

We need more Joker Junior fanart because I said so, no I don’t care that it isn’t canon, I love him. Partially inspired by a reverse robins fic I read a few days back and I haven’t stopped thinking about.

It’s gotten out of hand 😭🤚 @graveswithadot @mybrainisoveractive

Dick Grayson is my comfort character and I will not take any slander whatsoever

I enter a fanfic.

It’s beautiful, it has paragraph breaks, and emasculate writing.

It has dick Grayson slander…

I exit the fanfic

Working on your WIP is such a funny process, and by that I mean I'm losing my mind

Me: "okay, now we need to work on the plot, add more rythm, stress out the tension and dramatic irony and let them come up with a plan"

Brain: "Okay, here's a scene of Dick having sleep paralysis"

Me: "what in the chat GPT are you talking about, I said plot-"

Brain: "okay, here's a scene of Dick having sleep paralysis and then brushing his teeth."

Me: "this is a THRILLER"

****

See also:

Me: "okay now let's add a sweet, calm, wholesome scene to introduce this character, release some tension and add some stakes to the story"

Brain: "lmao what if they stole a police car?"

Chapters: 2/11 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Batman: Hush (2019) Chapter 2 of The Protector is finally out!! This fic is kicking my ass and the research for it definitely got me on a list, but god is it fun to write.

Chapter summary: A couple of people wake up. The batfamily displays some excellent detective skills. Family movie night grows a little tense in the absence of Tim.

Illustration for chapter 2 of The Protector!

Featuring my inability to draw profiles and messing up the execution of Tim's design -Jason's was very fun to play with though.

Chapters: 3/11 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Batman: Hush (2019) Chapter summary: In which Dick brushes his teeth, Tim and Jason eat a salad, and Jason and Barbara's phone calls go about just as well.

What's this? Me, forgetting to tell y'all the fic got updated for days? It's more likely than you'd think!

"It's snowing on the rooftop where they find eachother. Compact chunks of ice crunch under his boots, white covering the black grime leftovers of Gotham's pollution. From up here, the twilight can reach them, and it falls with the snow on the Red Hood in sick red hues."

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57542074/chapters/146407723

Going from detailed outline to full text when you're writing a fic is so funny because the story I've alread written keeps fucking happening to me

Like what do you mean it has a point? When the fuck did that story about misunderstandings and trauma and making fun of the batfam for making assumptions while also feeling sorry for them turn into asking uncomfortable questions about my career choices ? Where did that Diana/Cass parallel come from? Why is my therapist highjacking my story???!!

"Welcome back to the land of the living, B."

It's a blessing. It's a deep breath for the first time, after so long in the water, half-drowned and landing on the shore. But-

But...

"Where's Stephanie?"

Tim smiles, softness in his dark-rimmed eyes.

"She's right there. Dinah's talking with her right now, but I’m sure you’ll see her soon. She’s alive, Bruce. It wasn’t a dream.”

Alive. A sterile, windowless room in the Watchtower. The emptiness of space- sitting in the kitchen in that patch where the afternoon sun bathes the air in molten gold.

“Where’s Jason?”

-The Protector chapter 10: "The Hero"

"She is a lot like him, Talia: she hates those people like nothing else, though he doesn’t (cannot) ask, just as she doesn’t ask. But she’s also very loving, in an intense, all-encompassing way beneath the controlled elegance of her traits; like him, she latches onto love with all her heart, no matter how it bleeds and she bleeds like scalding tea, red hot flooding through the cracks, like lava under rocks."

(From Chapter 11 of The Protector: The Victim)

WIP Game!

Rules: you will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

My word: CAKE

Tagged by @ghoulysaphomet , thanks! Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a k sentence lol. All quotes from chapter 12 of The Protector!

Can’t even walk to the bookshop in broad daylight without someone trying to rob you.

And you are not the deadliest assassin in the world, up until the day you change your mind and decide killing is worth it, after all.

Knows that if his therapist knew what he was doing, she’d do that disapproving eyebrow thing she’s not aware she does when he says something she dislikes.

Even now, it hurts to look at him.

Tagging: @malfiora @bestangelofall @dramaturgydrakes

These are just the people who I know write fic, but anyone feel free to do it! Your word is TAIL

"Duke squints suspiciously at the clementine.

The issue is not the clementine itself; it’s fine, a bright orange that doesn’t look poisoned, probably. He doesn’t know how one would even go about poisoning a clementine. Besides, according to what little he’s managed to figure out about Jason, the older boy is more likely to have drugged it than poisoned it, if he’s done anything to it; still, Duke would like to avoid getting drugged, but Jason can hardly bare to be alone long enough for it to matter. So, the clementine is probably neither poisoned, nor drugged, and the most he risks by eating it would be a healthy dose of vitamin C.

Still remains the question of what the fuck is going on with the clementine."

-The Protector, Chapter 12: Miracle in Reverse