Iamdefinitelyaperson - I Am Definitely A Person

so this is gonna be the first thing i’m posting for 2018 huh

⚡️COMMISSION INFO✨ || KO-FI☕️

Set: you can't be here! you died! I literally killed you!

Osiris: dead is a social construct

Set: I'm revers necromancer

Anubis: you just kill people

Set: shut up

Chiron: I'm an orphan

Apollo: Not anymore you're not

Chiron: I'm adopted??

Apollo: Hi adopted, I'm dad

*your at Dionysus' funeral*

Hera: Hello and welcome to Dionysus'funeral-

*video of Dio starts playing in the background*

Dionysus: WHOOOOOO! I'M DEAD!

Hera: *shocked*

Dionysus: Mom and Dad you outlived me! Therefore you win!

Hera: OMG SOMEBODY SHUT THAT OFF! NOW!

*Video is shut off*

Hera: I am so sorry-

*Another video starts playing in the background*

Dionysus: This is a backup video in case the first video gets shut off by the fishy officiator!

Hera: ...

Dionysus: Fuck you man. I hope you're next

Hera: *glares*

Dionysus: Hello everyone, welcome to my funeral! Now everyone check under your seats. There's a box for each and every one of you.

Dionysus: Open it

*everyone checks and starts freaking out*

Hera: *confused*

Dionysus*with everyone screaming in the background*: The boxes contain my body parts. You can build me back up like a Build-A-Bear. This is supposed to symbolize that every time you fall apart your loved ones will build you back up.

*everyone, still screaming and freaking out*

Dionysus: Beautiful I know! It's making me tear up here. I am tearing up.

Hera,*opens hers slowly to find a knife and picks it up* : Tf??

Dionysus: Also if anyone has A knife in their box don't touch that that's the one I used.

Hera: *Drops it in shock*

Dionysus: You wouldn't want your fingerprints on it. That would be very sus.

Hera,*puts it on the floor*: Oh my god...

Dionysus: 🎶Don't be a sussy baka!🎶

Everyone: *still screaming and panicking*

Dionysus: Now don't worry, I didn't forget about the children.

Hera: *looks back at the screen*

Dionysus: right outside. There's a piñata for you guys. It's my head filled with candy. My eyes are taken out so it fits more candy.

Hera: *freaking out trying to calm everyone down*

Dionysus: Ok now everyone sing with me!! I'M ON A HIGHWAY TO.....

Everyone: *screaming*

Dionysus: HIGHWAY TO...

Everyone: *Still screaming*

Dionysus: THANK YOU FOR COMING-

*Three weeks later*

Hera: Apparently he also sent us cameras because 3 weeks later he mailed us pictures of the event titled "memories!"

Chiron: Yeah I think you might need a new therapist.