it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
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Hahahaha I'm Crying While Sitting On One Of The Benches In The Hallway...
Hahahaha i'm crying while sitting on one of the benches in the hallway...
I bet the people sitting across me are already giving me weird looks... I wanna go home right now and hug my pillow or go to sleep. I am so worn out already but i still have a class later. Jeez what kind of life do i have?!
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
It hurts so much to know that I can't do anything for you...
I wish there's someone who can comfort me right now and tell me that this is not really happening. It breaks my heart to know that we are going through this hard times and the only thing i do is cry about it.
Please make a miracle happen.
Dear God, Please make a miracle happen. Today is my Umpe's ct scan. Please please let there be a miracle and make the lumps and cancer cells disappear. Please make my Umpe healthy and strong. Please help her ease her pains. I am asking for a miracle to happen because i believe she deserves to live longer and happier. We still have a lot of things to do together. Please dearest God heal my Umpe. Heal her sickness and make her healthy again. Amen.
the phone call after i got the news
as much as i want to be happy i wasn't able to control my emotions during those short minutes of call. my mom told me beforehand not to cry so i kept telling myself not to cry. i prolly had some sobs escape from me, tears kept flowing good thing she can't see them, some sniffing were heard but thank God she didn't ask about it. i was not strong enough to face her, to face this battle but at least i tried my best to get into that front. during that short call, she said she's feeling better. much better than last week. we talked about her health and how she is doing. i can't help myself not to worry coz i am not beside her. i kept telling her to take her meds and things i know will help her. we also talked about the fiesta going on today and she said it is different from before. she said 'hindi na masaya kagaya ng dati' and i replied, ' kasi wala ako jan'. She said 'oo nga'. Oh God i was really gonna cry at that moment buti na lang my mom sat beside me. Sniff lang ako ng sniff. Trying hard to held back those tears. Towards the end of our call, she said she'll tell my cousins to go on skype later so she can see us & vice versa. Idk if i'll be excited to let her see how devastated i am right now. But one thing is for sure, i can't wait to see her smile for me later. Hopefully, walang iiyak mamaya. I love you Umpe and i will always do. Please be healthy! I want to see you smiling & hear you laughing or telling stories. Take care, Umpe ko.
minsan sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na strong akong tao at malalampasan ko ito. kaya lang minsan di na umeepekto eh. ganun ata talaga.
walang taong strong pag dating sa taong pinakakamahal mo lalo na kung siya ang mundo mo and he/she means everything to you.
Day 14 of this battle: i wish i am there by your side and let you know that i am back and i will stay with you until we overcome this battle. Be strong! My first day of spring semester. i don't know if i can describe it as a beautiful morning for me after reading some bad news... It sucks that i have to smile and laugh yhroug out the day when i know she is suffering from her pains. Why am i always selfish? Why can't i be sensitive? Before i go to bed every night since i learned her condition, i would always pray to God and ask him to give me her pains & make her health improve. Until now, I blame myself for what she's experiencing now. It is all my fault. I became too self-centered, unapppreciative, and insensitive. I lived my life running hurriedly to the future but i also forgot the most special person in my life who loves me the most. I regret it. I really do. And if i can turn back the time, i would definitely work harder for her. She means the world to me and i am sorry that i can't do anything for her. I love her so dearly but we all know that this thing i call 'love' is useless in times like this. I know things are getting serious each day. As much as i want to deny this, but i already had times where i want to give up everything just because i have no chance left. I am just wasting my time instead of doing something for her. I kept on blaming myself and everyone else. I kept whining. I can't even make proper decisions or think straight. I can only cry to myself coz no one can understand how i am hurting right now. I dont even have someone to talk to and share my thoughts on what is happening right now. It is not yet there but i already feel so ALONE. If i can only give up my life for her just to lengthen her life, i definitely will do it. I already hate waking up every morning for i don't know anymore the reason why i am still here. Can i just be by her side coz i really want to make her feel that i am back? Though i never forgot everything about her, i want her to feel that i am back again and we are together til the end just like how we pictured ourselves when i was young. I want to hug her and kiss her and tell her that i love her so much. I want to thank her and care for her just like how she did for me before. I want to tell her that we are together in this battle and i will stay with her until we overcome this. I want all of this to be possible but how?? I don't even have the chance from the start. I lack of everything. I am useless. I want to make more beautiful memories with her. I still want to watch the sun rise with her, enjoy the beauty of the world with her and simply be by her side... All i want is another chance to be with her and make her happy coz she deserves to be happy.