Finding Your Way Back (Part Two)

Finding Your Way Back (Part Two)

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A/N - This is heavier on the Stephen Strange & reader than I planned, oops. Also, thank you for the support on part one of this, I hope y'all like it!

It had been nine months since you’d first disappeared and two months since they'd managed to rescue you. In the two months since you’d been back you had been moved from the hospital into the compound and hadn’t done more than squeeze Bucky’s hand half a month ago.

Just because you were not showing any outward signs of being awake didn’t mean your mind wasn’t active. In fact it was working harder than ever, memories that meant nothing to you took over, faces you didn’t recognise, places you were sure you’d never been.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Sometimes you heard voices, you didn’t register what they were saying most of the time but when you heard the man with the metal arm talk you tried to listen, tried to do what he said but you couldn’t.

He asked, begged you to open your eyes, to say something, just to show him you would be ok and you tried, you really did but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t do anything.

You knew you had a body, could feel the man hold your hand, was it your hand? You could feel his lips move against it as he whispered words not meant for anyone but himself.

Since the day you recognised him as the man with the metal arm and he had called you Y/F/N you had repeated it to yourself everyday, not letting yourself forget it again.

My name is Y/F/N.

-

“Without knowing the damage to her mind, we have no way of knowing just when she will wake up or even if she can. At this point it’s all up to her.” A doctor explained and Bucky just about held his calm, if one more doctor said the same thing to him he was going to explode.

“C’mon there’s got to be something you can do, all this technology’s gotta be good for something.” He said, gesturing around to all the futuristic tech that was in your room.

“I’m sorry, Sergeant Barnes.” Said the doctor before leaving the room.

“Fuck!” Bucky whispered before turning his attention back to you. “Y/N, I know you don’t want to wake up, trust me when they had me it was easy to lose myself in my head too, just let the Soldier take over and not have to deal with it. I know, baby, but you can’t do that. It doesn’t work, all that hurt, all that suffering, it’s just gonna keep building up. You gotta wake up for me, doll, you have to. We can help you, I can help you. Everyone’s here for you just waiting to see those pretty y/e/c eyes again.” Bucky rambled, not sure exactly what he was saying but letting the words out.

When he was met with the same familiar stillness, he let his head rest upon your hand as he mumbled a soft, “please Y/N.”

“I think I may be able to help.” A voice from the doorway said, causing Bucky’s head to shoot up.

There stood Doctor Strange who frowned as he looked over to you. Bucky hadn’t had more than a handful of encounters with the man but he knew the two of you got on great.

“How?” Bucky asked. He refused to get his hopes up just to have them come crashing down when you stayed asleep.

“I can go into her head and upon determining how much damage HYDRA did to her mind I might just be able to break through and communicate with her. Obviously I make no promises but at least we’ll be able to see where her mind is.” Stephen explained as simply as he could when really it was quite a dangerous process. If your mind was completely shattered he could make it even worse by rummaging around, if your mind latched onto him then he was risking his own life.

Stephen hadn’t thought twice before offering.

“Why now?” Bucky asked and it was a fair question considering you’d been asleep for two months.

“I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, I had hoped she would find her way out but it seems she needs some guidance.” Stephen answered honestly. He would have offered to do this the moment you arrived, in fact he had told Tony as much that day, but they decided to give you a chance, see if you could pull through.

“Ok,” Bucky said after a few moments of silence, “ok, you can try.”

Stephen took a seat next to you and gently pressed his fingers to your temple. With a deep breath he closed his eyes and let his mind wander. It wasn’t long before he sat up straighter before going as still as a statue, Bucky watching the process intently.

-

Your mind was a mess, that was the first thing Stephen took note of, a mess but not completely broken. There was still time but not much. If he didn’t get through to you soon then they risked losing you forever as you buried yourself deeper and deeper.

‘Y/N.’ He called out, the word echoing around your mind.

He waited a few moments before trying again.

There was no answer.

‘Y/N, can you hear me? It’s Stephen.’ He tried again and this time something happened.

Before Stephen knew it he was looking at rapidly changing pictures, all of them featured him as your mind tried to make sense of who he was.

‘That’s it, Y/N, remember me.’ Stephen encourage as he watched the flashes of memories.

They soon vanished and Stephen stayed quiet for a few minutes hoping you’d ‘talk’. Much to Stephen’s relief his patience was rewarded.

‘My name is Y/N.’ He heard, the voice was faint but determined.

‘Yes!’ Stephen exclaimed before he could stop himself, ‘yes, your name is Y/N. You’re Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

There was silence again for a long moment before he heard;

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

Stephen couldn’t smile in this form for he didn’t have a physical body, he was just a voice in a head, but if he did have access to his body he’d be grinning from ear to ear.

‘Good job, you’re doing so well for me.’ Stephen praised. ‘Do you know where you are?’

‘With the man with the metal arm.’ You answered after a pause.

‘The man with the metal- you mean Bucky?’ Stephen asked though the answer was obvious.

If you couldn’t remember who Bucky was then Stephen dreaded to think what else had been forgotten.

As soon as the words left him your mind exploded. Stephen braced himself against the onslaught of images that flashed through your mind all of you and Bucky.

There were images of you and Bucky dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, there were images of the two of you cuddling in bed, on dates, laughing, crying...images of every moment the two of you had together assaulted your mind.

Distantly Stephen could hear you let out a sound of utter distress but he was so absorbed in the images that he lost himself for a moment.

Finally, the images faded and Stephen came back to himself in time to hear you let out a choked ‘Bucky’.

‘Yes that’s Bucky, you remember him?’ Stephen asked, thankful when you replied with a shaky yes.

‘Bucky’s waiting for you, he’s been waiting for you for quite a long time now. You have to wake up, Y/N.’

It took a long time for you to admit to him you didn’t know how. Stephen sighed, not yet thinking of these consequences of being in your head for too long, eventually when one lives inside their head for as long as you’d had to, it’s only likely that that person forgot that not only is there a whole world outside but also a body dependent on them.

‘That’s ok, we’ll take it easy.’ Stephen said as he began the long process of helping you connect with your body.

-

Bucky continued to watch your practically lifeless form. The doctor had yet to move, it had been an hour and he was in the same position as he had been before, Bucky couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or not.

At the hour and a half mark Tony came in with two mugs filled with coffee, silently taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed after handing Bucky a cup. The room stayed quiet as the two drank their drinks looking from Stephen to you.

“If anyone can help her, it’s him.” Tony told him, his voice quiet but confident.

Bucky didn’t answer for a long while. What was he supposed to say? If Stephen was your only hope and he failed was he just supposed to leave you like this? He couldn’t do that, this couldn’t be your life.

“I know.” Bucky eventually replied. He had faith in Stephen, you trusted him and that was good enough for him. He was thankful for the man who was risking his own, rather powerful, mind to help you.

-

Countless attempts had been made but so far they were pretty unsuccessful. Stephen tried to think about a way to help you but he was quickly running out of ideas.

‘You have to focus, kid, really focus. Take a deep breath and just feel your body.’ Stephen knew how bad you were at mediating when your mind was in the right place, whenever Stephen tried to teach you magic that required an empty mind it took longer than it should have because you struggled to clear your thoughts. Now there were no thoughts but also no understanding of your body.

‘I’m trying.’ You replied, quickly becoming frustrated with the task. Stephen knew he didn’t have long left until you retreated further into your mind, maybe irreversibly.

‘I know you are, you’re doing great. Let’s keep trying.’ But nothing worked, you tried as hard as you could and your body hardly flinched.

Just as you were about to give up you heard the man with the metal arm- no you heard Bucky talking to you.

“Hi baby.” He began before there was a pause. “I don’t know what you and the doctor are up to in that head of yours but I hope he’s helping you, God do I hope he’s helping. I know you trust him but I can’t trust someone completely, not with this, not with you. I wish I could be the one helping you but... you have to listen to him Y/N.” Here you felt Bucky’s hand on your...face?

‘He’s touching your cheek.’ Stephen supplied quietly, feeling the confusion coming from you. ‘Can you feel it?’

‘Yes.’ You replied just as Bucky began to talk again.

“It’s been months since I saw those pretty eyes of yours, doll, since I heard you laugh, since I held you in my arms. Never gonna take that for granted again.” He murmured, letting his thumb brush against your eye.

“Eyes.’ You said, causing Stephen to perk up.

‘Yes, those are your eyes! Open them, Y/N. I believe in you. When you open them Bucky will be right there waiting for you.” Stephen promised.

Your mind fell silent again as you paused before following Stephen’s earlier advice except this time you were able to connect with your body, you could feel your closed eyelids. It took many attempts, it was hard to keep track of time in your mind, but eventually you managed to crack your eyelids open.

-

Bucky watched, frozen, as you slowly pried your eyes open before squinting shut at the harsh light.

“JARVIS.” Tony murmured and immediately the lights dimmed causing you to relax and try opening your eyes again.

Bucky couldn't help but let out a slightly high pitched laugh of disbelief as he looked down at you.

As you were trying to adjust your unfocused eyes, Stephen slowly untangled himself from you before leaving to go back to his own mind. He screwed his eyes shut at the adjustment before opening them and moving his hand from your temple.

“Y/N.” Bucky said, causing you to blink hard before looking at him. It was clear you weren't really seeing him, not yet, as your eyes tried desperately to focus after not being used for months. “Hey doll.” He smiled so widely it was almost painful but he didn’t care. Looking at you, eyes open meant everything to him.

“That’s it, doll, you’re doing so well.” It took a long time and plenty of encouragement but finally, finally, you managed to focus on Bucky.

You saw the man with the metal arm who spoke to you when you were lost, you saw the man who danced with you in the kitchen when everyone else slept, the man who you used to fall asleep next to every night.

The memories were still hazy but you remembered the important parts and that was:

My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N and Bucky Barnes always finds me.

-

Ten months later and you were up and about, still not yet cleared for missions which was understandable because sometimes you had blips in your memory.

For the most part though you were doing ok. You were still adjusting to getting the memories back of your time with HYDRA, the torture they put you through, the people they made you kill…

Bucky helped though, Bucky always helped. He was there every step of the way, through the doctors appointments, the decision to go to therapy, the nights you’d wake up screaming, the nights you sat still feeling numb to the bones. Bucky was there through it all, never once complaining nor leaving your side.

Some days you felt like you could fall apart, some days your memory was so far gone that you only remembered Bucky as the man with the metal arm and some days you remembered everything too clearly.

In the early days of recovery, once you’d remembered you had magic, it had been uncontrollable. The years of training had been completely forgotten and with every nightmare or bad memory your magic reacted as harshly as you felt, trying to protect you from an evil that was no longer there.

Stephen was more patient than he had ever been as he sat with you, day after day, helping you to relearn how to control your magic. Thankfully it didn’t take too long and as your memory started to come back so did the control.

You looked up when you heard the front door open and close, smiling widely as it meant Bucky was back.

He had to go on a mission, one relating to HYDRA. It was his first mission away since you had woken up and though he hadn’t wanted to go you eventually talked him into it. They needed his knowledge on HYDRA to deal with this particular base and you also knew how much he wanted to punch some HYDRA agents.

You had been doing better recently so it wasn’t hard to argue that you’d be ok for a few days. Besides, the compound still had most of the avengers in it as only Steve, Natasha, Sam and Bucky went on the mission.

“Hey doll.” Bucky greeted as he came into the bedroom, making his way over to you before leaning down to kiss you softly. “God, I missed you.” He mumbled against your lips before kissing you again.

“I missed you too, baby.” You replied, running your fingers through his hair. “Go get cleaned up.”

Bucky was quick to shower and dress before he was joining you in bed, pulling you close so that your head rested on his chest, your arm wrapping around him as JARVIS automatically turned the lights off.

“How was the mission?” You asked quietly, reluctant to break the peacefulness that had settled around you.

“We got what we needed,” Bucky said, matching your tone, “I don’t think any amount of blowing up bases is going to feel like enough though.”

“They’re not worth it. I just want to focus on getting better and being here with you.” You said as you turned to face him, smiling up at him softly causing the crease in between his eyebrows to fall away.

“You’re doing so well, baby, I’m so damn proud of you.” Bucky said, the sincerity of his words almost too much for you. You leaned up to kiss him, putting everything words couldn’t say into it.

“I couldn’t have done it without my man with the metal arm.” You laughed softly as you pulled away causing Bucky to grin down at you.

“I love you so much, doll.” Bucky whispered in the dark as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

You shifted so that your head was resting on his chest again before replying.

“I love you too, Buck, more than you’ll ever know.”

Falling asleep with Bucky was the safest you had ever felt, no amount of torture could ever erase this feeling.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic and Bucky Barnes always finds me.'

I Can't Lose You Again - Part Two

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You felt numb as you sunk down, letting your head rest against your knees as your eyes fell shut. The harsh reminder that he wasn’t your Loki, no matter how much you wished he was, stung. Your Loki wouldn’t have ever left you here, especially not with these people.

“Just grab her and let’s go!” You heard somebody snap. You didn’t see Mobius shake his head, glaring as he dismissed the hunter.

A few moments later Mobius knelt down in front of you but stayed silent. He felt sorry for you, he really did. Watching all those months you stayed silent, stayed loyal to Loki’s you didn’t even know just because of the man you knew...he really did sympathise with you.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered before he could say anything.

“Why are you sorry?” Mobius asked, honestly confused. If anything it should’ve been him apologising, he never should’ve taken Loki to you, there was a reason he hadn’t met you in 2012.

“I told you you could trust him.” Was your broken reply. As you looked up at him, Mobius’ frown deepened as he saw the tears in your eyes.

“This isn’t on you.” Mobius told you firmly, “He isn’t the man you know yet, he’s still struggling for control and trying to find his way.” The Loki you knew had years of character development, this Loki, well this Loki hadn’t had a chance yet.

This Loki, for all intents and purposes, was a villain.

“He’s just trying to help.” You told Mobius. You did believe that, you had too, the look on Loki’s face as he had mere seconds to figure out his next move was clear. If he waited for you then he risked Mobius stopping him and then he wouldn’t find out the Variants plan. Logically you knew Loki had made the right move but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“I know.” Mobius replied honestly. He knew that Loki had grown to care for you, probably more than he wanted to admit, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with that yet. “C’mon we have to go, we’ll figure something out.” Mobius assured you as he stood up holding a hand out for you.

Despite the situation he couldn’t help but smile as you took the offered hand without flinching.

-

When you walked through the doorway and into the TVA you were greeted with chaos. Which made sense when you thought about it, two Loki’s loose together...it was a recipe for disaster.

“Y/N, I need you back in the holding cell whilst this is dealt with.” Mobius said calmly as he turned to you.

“What?” You scoffed, “you’re just going to lock me up whilst Loki is out there with her?” You spat, you refused to sit idly by twiddling your thumbs whilst Loki could be in danger. He might’ve left you here but you’d be damned if you left him.

“I know, ok, I know you want to help but you're too close to this. If we bring you, we risk you running off with them too. I already lost one variant, I can’t lose another.” Mobius explained and whilst you understood his position you couldn’t just stay here.

Obviously there was no way to convince Mobius to let you come, naturally he was right of course, the first chance you got you’d go with Loki. It was never a hard decision when it came to what side to pick when it came to Loki. So instead you nodded.

“Fine, I’ll go sit in my cell.” You muttered before marching off in the direction of the holding cells.

Mobius watched you go with a frown, he wanted you to come, if anyone could talk Loki down it’d be you even if he didn’t know you too well yet but he couldn’t risk it. He knew he’d be in a world trouble as it was, losing you wasn’t an option.

“All Minutemen to armory. Protect the timeline.” Mobius shook his head as the voice repeated the message and quickly sent everyone on their way.

-

Tracking any Loki wasn’t hard, all you had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies. Unfortunately as the trail of bodies ended so did any signs of the Loki’s. Minutemen ran past you as you leaned against the wall, resting your head with a sigh.

“Where are you, Loki?” You whispered.

“Variant!” Somebody exclaimed and you looked up to see Judge Renslayer firing up her pruning device.

“Whoa, hey, I was just going back to my holding cell.” You told her carefully, raising your hands to surrender. You saw firsthand what those batons did to people, no way were you going to let yourself be struck by it.

“You’ve been protecting those Loki’s since we first arrested you.” She snarled, walking closer to you. You tried to move but she had you cornered.

Well shit.

“Listen…” You began but she cut you off.

“No you listen, you’ve been a pain since the beginning. All that loyalty to a man who couldn’t care less about you, I mean, he ran away the first chance he got.” You shook your head, trying not to let the words get to you.

“Yeah, I did, and I’d do it again and again.” You said whilst shooting her a cocky grin, probably not the best course of action but hey, she looked like she was going to kill you either way. “That Loki deserves somebody in his corner, his whole life living in the shadows, never good enough, so yeah I might not know this Loki and he might not know me but I’m going to protect every secret he has and if I die for that,” you said, pausing to chuckle before smiling proudly, “then I’ve done right by him and every other Loki Variant out there who had nobody on their side.”

“Pathetic.” She said before raising the baton. You looked her in the eyes, showed no fear as she came closer and closer to you, just as she was about to touch you-

“Y/N!” Mobius yelled, causing Renslayer to drop the device quickly and turn around just as Mobius rounded the corner. “What the hell?”

“Lost another Variant, Mobius?” Renslayer said as she roughly took a hold of your bicep, nails digging into the skin as she dragged you to Mobius all but throwing you into his arms.

“What happened?” Mobius asked, not dignifying the question with an answer.

“What do you think happened, Mobius?” She snapped, “they left, together, and because the theory of apocalypses was right I don’t know how we’re supposed to find them.”

“I’ll fix it.” Mobius promised before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the judge.

-

“Champagne?” The attendant asked, causing Loki and Sylvie to look up.

“Ah yes. Thank you very much.” Loki said as he grabbed the glass and drank from it, despite all the odds they were finally headed in the right direction. “To the end of the world.”

“A pity the old woman chose to die, don’t you think?” Loki asked.

“She was in love.” Sylvie answered simply.

“She hated him.” Loki shot back but Sylvie smiled at him.

“Maybe love is hate.” Loki quickly conjured up a quill and paper before jotting the quote down causing Sylvie to roll her eyes, unamused by the god across from her.

“Oh piss off.” Loki couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, it was a strange feeling to be so free.

“So,” Loki began, “on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?”

“Yeah there is actually,” Sylvie said with a serious tone, “Managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another.”

“And with charm like that, who could resist you?” Loki chuckled.

“Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom.” Sylvie smiled.

“I'm sure they are.”

“It was only ever just to keep me going. How about you? You're a prince. Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.”

“A bit of both.” Loki admitted with a smile, “I suspect the same as you. But, nothing ever…” Loki trailed off.

“What is it?” Sylvie asked with a tilt of her head.

“All my life there was nothing ever really real, you know? But when the TVA arrested me I found a woman, a woman who remained loyal to a dead man and Variants of that dead man. A woman who let herself be tortured for however long just because she loves me. I haven’t met her yet, not properly, not how I’m supposed to but I believe what I have with her is, what I will have with her…it’s the most real thing in all the realms.” Loki confessed. He barely knew you but he couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest when he remembered the look on your face as he left you behind.

“Even now you’ve started falling for her, haven’t you?” Sylvie asked with a hint of a smile.

“I do believe I have but I ruined it. I left her there as I followed you.” Loki told her, looking down at his lap with a frown.

“Nah, if she put up with you until you died then I’m sure she’s had to deal with worse than this.” Sylvie told him and he couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at that.

“I hope my future self treated her better than that but I suspect you’re probably right.”

-

Mobius took you to the control panel room, everyone had orders to look for anything out of the ordinary, any slight shift to indict the two Variants were together. You had been placed at one of the empty desks, a screen in front of you showing you the timeline.

“Please wait here whilst I talk to Ravonna.” Mobius told you and this time you just nodded, Loki was gone and you had no idea where. There was no point in running.

It had been hours since they’d gone and Mobius had spent most of that time giving orders out whilst biting his lip anxiously. You hadn’t spoken much or left his side, content to let him do the work so long as it resulted in you finding Loki

Mobius gave you a long look before leaving you alone, no doubt warning the hunters to keep an eye on you.

You sighed as you looked at the screen knowing how useless this was. The two Variants knew how to stay hidden, hide out in apocalypses and the TVA can’t find you, why they thought they could find them now was beyond you.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before Mobius was back and tapping your shoulder, gesturing for you to follow him.

“What did the judge say?” You asked when the two of you were alone.

“The time keepers are on our side but I can’t get access to C-20.” He told you. He wanted to tell you that the hunter was dead, he didn’t know why but it didn’t sit right with him. Instead he shook his head.

“Wait, why? She could know something important, she kept saying something was real.” You said, you had seen the woman yourself as the Minutemen hauled her off.

“She’s too far gone.” Was Mobius’ reply.

You didn’t reply but there were so many thoughts flying around your head and you could feel the start of a headache approaching.

Something about the TVA hadn’t seemed right when you were first brought it and it was explained to you and as every minute passed your doubt grew. The Hunter, C-20, was coherent when she was brought in, sure she was in shock but she was aware.

It didn’t make sense.

“So what happens now?” You asked Mobius watching as he collapsed into his chair.

“I don’t know.”

-

“I remember Asgard.” Sylvie confessed after moments of silence passed as Loki sat next to her, “Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. And as soon as that created a big enough detour from the Sacred Timeline, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me prisoner. I was just a child. I escaped. Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a nexus event.” Loki frowned as Sylvie continued her story. “Sent up a smoke flare. Because I'm not supposed to exist. Until, eventually, I figured out where to hide. And so that's where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds and now...that’s where I’ll die.”

Loki had no words, the two of them sat in silence staring ahead as everything fell to pieces around them.

“Not long now.” Sylvie said. “Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact we’re destined to lose?” She asked in defeat.

“No.” Loki answered immediately, “We may lose, sometimes painfully, but we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!” Loki praised, smiling as Sylvie smiled.

Loki reached out and took her hand in his.

-

It wasn’t long before you were back in the control room, looking at a bunch of monitors that had yet to change.

“Alarms should be going off for the magnified nexus threshold if somebody steps on the wrong leaf.” Mobius said as the two of you joined Hunter B-15.

“Wherever they are I’m not sure anything survives.” Was her reply causing your eyes widened, your hand reaching out to grip Mobius’.

Mobius looked at you in concern, seeing the tears in your eyes and the hold on his hand was tight but you didn’t look away from the screen, it was like you thought you could will it into changing if you stared at it hard enough.

“Yeah, don't underestimate them.” Mobius said, watching as you let out a mix of a sob and a laugh.

He turned to Hunter B-15, whispering quietly, “You see anything down at Roxxcart?”

“They’re gone.” She answered, “Leaping across time, plotting their next massacre.”

“We got something.” One of the analysts said breaking the silence and you all looked at the screen he was at.

Mobius laughed, “That’s not someone stepping on the wrong leaf. You ever seen a branch like that?”

“No.” Hunter B-15 answered as they got a lock on the location and it wasn’t long before a team of hunters were ready as Loki and Sylvie stepped through the two orange doorways.

“Y/N.” Mobius warned just before they came through, “go to the holding cell, wait for me there.”

“You’re kidding right-” You began but he interrupted you.

“Y/N!” He yelled before looking to one of the hunters, “take her.”

“Mobius!” You yelled, struggling against the man holding you. Unfortunately it was no use and before you knew it you were being tossed into the holding cell.

“Fuck!” You yelled as you picked yourself up off the floor, kicking one of the chairs as you did.

It was useless to try the door, you knew it was, but it didn’t stop you from walking over and slamming your fists against the metal repeatedly, not stopping even after your knuckles started to bleed.

-

“Loki.” Loki’s head snapped away from where the doorway had just disappeared to see you stood in a different doorway.

You looked so pretty, your hair was braided as you wore clothes that were definitely from Asgard.

“Y/N, thank goodness you're here.” He said, his face lighting up as you stepped closer to him.

“You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?” You asked him, letting out a dark laugh as you did.

“Y/N, what have they done to you?” He asked, taking a step towards you only to stop as you slapped him.

“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled.

This wasn’t you, Loki knew that much.

“Oh a time cell? Using Y/N against me, very clever, except I have no memories with her so you’re making your own up. Well guess what? I won’t fall for it, I know her and this won’t work on me.” Loki yelled at the ceiling. He didn’t know if anyone was watching him but it felt good to shout a bit.

“You hear me? I promise you, I promise everyone working for the TVA will suffer for ever hurting her, for dragging her into this, you’ll suffer.” He promised, fist clenched at his side.

“Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You said, drawing his attention back to you.

“This isn’t real, Y/N, snap out of it.” Loki pleaded but you just shouldered your way past him and left.

“Well then…” He said, looking around, wondering where to go from here.

It was silent for a few moments before he heard your voice again.

“Loki.” His head snapped up to you. “You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?”

“Oh god, come on, not a time loop.” Loki groaned, watching as you stepped forward and slapped him.

“Ow, come on, seriously? This is the TVA’s grand punishment?” He asked.

“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled again. “Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You repeated.

Loki didn’t know how many times he had heard you repeat the same speech and as much as he hated to admit it, it really was starting to get to him.

“Loki.” You said, causing Loki to sigh.

“Please Y/N, no more, I beg you. I know, I know I’m a horrible person, I know, I get it. I hurt people and I use people because it’s...well you already know why I do it don’t you?” he chuckled though there was no humour in it, “I crave attention. I know I was raised as a prince, I know I shouldn't complain but living in the shadow of Thor with a father who didn’t care for you…” He trailed off not knowing where to go from there.

“I’m afraid of being alone.” He finally admitted.

“You are alone and you always will be.” You said before disappearing through the doorway.

Loki sat down on the stairs with watery eyes, waiting for you to make your entrance.

“Okay, Loki.” Mobius' voice made him look up, raising his eyebrows at the man, “ready to talk?”

Mobius took Loki back into the interrogation room but the conversation that followed got neither of the men anywhere and it wasn’t long before Mobius ended the conversation.

“Give my regards to Y/N.” He said as the doorway appeared.

“What...No. What? No, no, no. Please, not...well, just wait, wait, wait.” Loki pleaded, not ready to go back into that room, not ready to hear those words from you again.

“Of course it was me pulling the strings all along. She came to me on Asgard a long time ago and then she took me to one of her apocalypses and that's where we hatched our plan together.” Loki lied easily.

“Which is?” Mobius asked.

“Coming along very nicely, thank you.” Loki snarked.

“What of the Variant?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Loki said, lying naturally, “she’s nothing more than a pawn and when she’s finished being useful to me, I’ll dispose of her.”

“Oh she’s already been pruned, you can thank Hunter B-15 for that.” Mobius said casually. “So assume I do set you free…”

“Hang on, what did you just say?” Loki interrupted.

“What? Assume I do set you free.” Mobius repeated, suppressing a smirk.

“No, the variant, she’s gone?”

“Yeah, she took out two of ours, B-15 pruned her.

Loki shrugged, trying not to let his eyes water. “Good riddance.” He forced out.

At that, Mobius couldn’t hold back his chuckle any longer.

“What’s so funny?” Loki snapped, his emotions bubbling at the surface.

“Oh come on, look at your eyes. No wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event.” Mobius chuckled, of course Loki would be oblivious to a connection like that. It may not have been romantic but it was strong, possibly stronger than a romantic connection.

“The two of you, pure chaos. That’s enough to break reality.” Mobius said.

“You finally trusted yourself, you saw the good in yourself. You fell for yourself.” Mobius couldn’t help but smile.

“Her name was Sylvie.” Loki said through gritted teeth.

“Ah, Sylvie, lovely. Is that I-E or just an I?” Mobius grinned.

“Is she alive?” Loki demanded.

“For now.” Was the reply.

“Mobius, listen to me carefully, if what Sylvie has told me about this place is true, it affects us all.” Loki said, cursing as Mobius rolled his eyes.

“Loki, you’ve already told me about fifty lies in the past ten minutes and now I’m supposed to believe you and Sylvie.” He chucked.

“You’re all Variants!” Loki shouted, cutting Mobius off. “Everyone who works at the TVA. The timekeepers, they didn’t create you, they stole you from your timeline and erased your memories. She has access to these memories through enchantment. So before this, before you were an analyst for the TVA, you had a past, you could have had a family, Mobius, a life.” Loki pleaded with the man, begging him to believe him.

For a moment there was nothing but silence and Loki almost thought that Mobius was going to believe him.

“Nice try but this case is closed. Our interests are no longer aligned as you’d say. I have no need for you, your variant or your girlfriend.” Mobius said, tone harsh.

“What of Y/N?” He asked, glaring at the man opposite him.

“Oh, Y/N is no longer a concern. For your or us.” Mobius said, watching the dangerous glint in Loki’s eyes.

“Leave her out of this.” Loki demanded as he stood up but Mobius just rolled his eyes as two hunters came into the room and took him back into the time cell.

Mobius sat there longer than he intended too, thinking of Loki’s words.

-

“Y/N.” A voice said from the doorway and your head shot up. There was the Hunter B-15. “You have to come with me, now.”

You did as she said, following her out of the room in confusion.

“What’s going on?” You asked but she shook her head.

“No time to explain and even if there was it isn’t safe enough to do so but let’s just say you were right to trust the Loki’s.” She said as the two of you continued on down the hall. “They’re going to need us.”

The two of you entered the armoury and she held out a dagger towards you.

“I’m just assuming you know how to use this.” She said, watching you smile as you gently took it from her.

“I had a good teacher.” You said fondly and she smiled back.

-

Mobius watched the footage on the stolen tempad and once he was done he quickly hurried back to the interrogation room and opened the doorway into the time cell Loki was being held in.

“Do you care about her?” Mobius asked urgently once he was in the room.

“Who?” Loki asked in confusion.

“Sylvie!” Mobius shot back.

“I’m not sure if care is the right word.” Was the reply he got but Mobius shook his head. “I’m sorry, haven’t we already covered this?”

“Shut up!” Mobius snapped. “Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” When he received no reply he snapped Loki’s name.

“What? You told me to shut up.”

“Do you believe you deserve to be alone?” He asked again.

“I don’t know,'' he admitted. He knew the nexus event was caused by a breakthrough between himself and Sylvie. He didn’t want to be with her obviously but did he think he deserved you? He really didn’t know.

“You better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down. So we better understand…” Mobius rushed out but Loki cut him off.

“We?” He asked.

“Do you swear she didn't implant those memories in Hunter C-20?”

“Mobius, no. I believe her.” Loki vouched.

“So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?” Loki debated the question for a few seconds.

“How about the word of a friend?” He smiled as Mobius nodded at him

“You were right, about the TVA.” He admitted, “You were right from the beginning. And if you wanna save them, Sylvie and Y/N, you need to trust me. Can we do that?” Mobius asked and Loki didn’t hesitate to agree.

The pair went to leave the room but Mobius stopped to turn around and face Loki, “You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.” Loki looked shocked at the words before a genuine smile took over his face and the two of them left the cell.

They quickly paused as they had an audience waiting for them as they stepped out, Judge Renslayer in the center.

“I think you have something of mine.” She said.

Mobius was quick on his feet and quickly withdrew the stolen tempad, “Oh yeah, I got all the way down there before I even noticed I picked the wrong one up. What’s the problem, Ravonna?” He asked, seeing the dark look on her face.

He knew what was about to happen, his friend of eons was about to rid of him like some common prisoner. He took a deep breath before talking again.

“You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.”

Loki watched in horror, tears filling his eyes, as Renslayer had him pruned.

-

You and Hunter B-15 made your way down into the elevator together. There wasn’t much of a plan honestly but the two of you were going to bring down the TVA, whatever the risk.

“You ready?” She asked you and you grinned at her.

“As I’ll ever be.”

With those words the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Before anyone had time to move Hunter B-15 had unlocked the collars around Loki and Slyvie’s necks and the other hunters readied their weapons.

“For all time,” Hunter B-15 said,

“Always.” You finished and with that the fighting began.

Hunter B-15 threw Sylvie the blade as you took down one of the hunters, quickly making your way to Loki who pulled you into a rough, desperate hug.

“Y/N.” He sighed, resting his cheek on your head.

“Nice to see you again.” You muttered against his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you, I just,” before he could continue you heard Sylvie shout,

“I hate to break up the reunion but we have a situation.” You smiled at Loki before you darted around him and began battling one of the hunters, Loki dealing with one in front of him.

“Here!” Sylvie yelled, throwing her dagger to Loki and picking up a baton. You watched her, from the corner of your eye, go to the judge. Just as you took down another hunter you saw Sylvie pinned down by Renslayer and moved quickly to kick her off before you were fighting somebody else, back to back with Loki.

“We make quite a team.” He tells you with a smile on his face.

“We really do.” You said fondly, remembering all the battles you’d fought together, knowing the others moves even before they did. You were a fierce duo.

It felt good to be fighting with Loki again.

Finally all the hunters were killed and Sylvie was quick to kill one timekeeper, the three of you watched her pick up his head seeing severed wires sparking.

“Fake?” You asked, staring down at the technology.

“Mindless androids.” Sylvie spat, looking at the remaining two.

“It never stops.” Loki said looking defeated. “Then who created the TVA?”

“I thought this was it.” Sylvie admitted, she too looked crushed, she had waited years and years for this moment and this was it.

You watched as Loki looked around clearly thinking of something, someway to get you all out of this.

“Sylvie.” He began but she quickly cut him off.

“Please not another pep talk.” She pleaded, causing you to laugh despite the situation.

“No, I have to tell you something. We’ll figure this out.” He said, moving to stand in front of her and he sounded so convinced you believed him.

“How do you know that?” She asked, clearly losing hope.

“Because, well, back on Lamentis.” He began but cut himself off, looking at you. You smiled at him encouragingly causing him to smile and take a deep breath, “This is new for me,”

“What, what is it?”

Before he could answer, his body started to disappear and in his place stood Renslayer holding the pruning device.

“No!” You yelled moving forward to attack her, you snatched the device from her hands, quickly moving and in seconds you had her pinned down with the device to her neck.

“Start talking.” You spat out, tears falling down your face.

________

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Secrets & Sleepovers

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Prompt - ‘So if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I too, am fluent in silence.’

Night after night Spiderman took to the streets fighting bad guys for hours on end and then had to attend school the next day on very little sleep. For the most part, he managed, the spider bite giving him all sorts of cool abilities, one of them being able to last longer without sleep than regular humans.

School was a nightmare most days. The workload was piling higher and higher as the semesters went on and on top of that he had to deal with Flash on a regular basis. The lack of sleep made him more susceptible to losing it on Flash but he somehow managed to keep it to verbal arguments lately. The last thing he needed was to accidentally expose his powers in a fight with Flash.

Peter Parker loved being Spiderman but some days it was all too much. Every little noise, the scent of the city, the feel of his clothing, his senses became overwhelmed and all he wanted to do was hide under his blanket and sleep for weeks.

Unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. With exams around the corner and someone needing to look out for the little guys, Peter was overworking himself and it was only a matter of time before he crashed and burned.

You let out a loud groan as you let your head hit the textbook in front of you, missing the way Peter smirked at you.

“If I ever have to look at another math book again, I may cry.” You grumbled into the book. You and Peter were currently sitting in the library studying for an upcoming exam.

When you had first sat down, you had raised an eyebrow at Peter. He looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep judging by the dark circles under his eyes, there was also bruising around his left jaw and a small cut just below his hairline. When you had asked him about it he shrugged it off and told you he was staying up late studying and that bruise was just him being clumsy. You weren’t sure you believed it but you let it go for now.

“Considering we got to a school that specialises in that stuff, I’m not liking your chances.” Peter grinned, causing you to sit up and throw a crumpled up piece of paper at him.

“Hey!” He exclaimed with a laugh. Moments later you heard a shushing noise causing you both to quietly chuckle.

“Let’s take a break.” Peter suggested, moving to put his books in his bag. You were in desperate need of some food and a stretch so you were quick to follow.

It wasn’t long until the two of you had found a small diner and had a selection of food in front of you.

You noticed how Peter shifted and winced a few times before settling in.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” You asked again.

Peter cursed himself, he thought he was good at hiding his secret but you always managed to see through the lies he gave. It was another downside to having this mutation, the lying. He was constantly lying to you, to Aunt May, to everyone but he couldn’t risk anyone finding out. He wouldn’t risk the people he cared about getting hurt because of him.

“I’m fine,” Peter assured with a bright smile, it was hard not to smile back though the concern didn’t go away. “Trust me, after finals I’ll be good as new.” He knew that wasn’t true but he just wanted you to stop worrying about him. With all the stress right now the last thing he wanted was to add to that.

“Ok, ok, I’ll drop it but if you wanna talk about anything…”

“I know and I appreciate it, Y/N/N, I really do.” With that you finally did let the topic drop. Peter was right, everyone was stressed and overly tired right now.

-

The days were starting to blend into each other. Peter was struggling to get through the day, dreading the nights where he would fight crime but if he didn’t do it and somebody got hurt...that was on him.

Nobody else would feel the pain he felt, not when he could do the things he could.

Peter was sitting on the roof of a tall building, legs dangling over the edge. He’d long taken his mask off, knowing he was safe up here. Tonight had started off rough, he’d stopped a mugging but had taken a few hits from the man's knife and plenty of bruises were quickly developing on his face. Thankfully his healing speed meant that the knife wound had knitted itself together quite quickly to stop the bleeding but that only made him more exhausted.

He wouldn’t know where the bruises ended on his face and where the bags under his eyes started. He so desperately wanted to do nothing more than clasp into bed.

He was exhausted.

Shaking his head, he blinked hard against the sudden wetness in his eyes, cursing himself for becoming so emotional but he couldn’t help it. Between school and secret identities, he was stretching himself way too thin.

With a sigh Peter stood up. He had to get moving otherwise he’d end up falling asleep on some cold rooftop. He swung for what felt like hours, really it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes, before landing on a fire escape.

He hadn’t realised it but somehow he had ended up at your house. The curtains were still open and he could see the soft glow of the lamp.

Mentally he chastised himself for coming here but who could blame him? You had always had a way of making him feel safe, making him feel like everything was ok even when it was falling to pieces. When he had lost Uncle Ben you had been his rock. So who could blame him for subconsciously seeking you out when he was feeling like this.

He looked in the window and saw you sat at your desk, books and papers spread out in what looked like a chaotic mess but he knew you would know exactly where everything was.

He wanted so desperately to knock on your window, to just sit with you in silence and feel like the world wasn’t about to crumble but he knew he couldn’t.

For starters he was still in the Spiderman suit and secondly he knew if you caught a glimpse of him now, bruised and beaten, you wouldn’t stop until you found out his secret.

He stood up, ready to leave and continue swinging around for a few more hours despite the exhaustion. You however heard something outside and turned to look, from your seat at the desk you had a perfect view of the fire escape just outside your window and your eyes widened as you saw Peter.

You ran over to the window, pushing it open before Peter had a chance to move and the two of you froze, locking eyes with each other waiting for someone to break the silence.

When the silence stretched for an uncomfortable amount of time you spoke;

“You’re Spiderman.” You stated rather than asked, the evidence was clear before your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Was Peter’s quiet reply, his eyes grew wet as he tried to hold back tears. You took in each cut and bruise on his face, wincing in sympathy. It explained a lot really but you’d seen the videos of Spiderman, you’d seen the risk he put himself in time and time again.

You didn’t like it but even without Peter’s explanation, which you would definitely be getting, you knew he wouldn’t ever give Spiderman up, knew how much responsibility he must have been putting on himself. The exhaustion made a lot of sense.

“Come in.” You said, stepping out of the way so he could climb in. Peter hesitated but did as you asked, standing awkwardly by your window as you rummaged around in your closet.

It took a few moments but eventually you found a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt you’d stolen from Peter and held them out for him, smiling as he raised an eyebrow at you.

“I think you own more of my clothes than I do.” He joked but you could still see the tension in his shoulders, giving away just how anxious he was causing you to sigh.

“Listen, I’m not angry and I’m not going to ask you to give Spiderman up or anything. Hell, I’m not even completely surprised it’s you behind the mask. Sure I wish you would’ve told me but I get why you didn’t.” You told him sincerely, stepping forward and reaching up to lightly touch his bruised cheek. “You’re so brave. I promise we can talk about it in the morning but you look exhausted.”

“I’m so tired,” He whispered, his eyes falling shut as he leaned into your touch, “God, I’m so tired.” He repeated.

You took his hand and guided him to your bed, making sure he was tucked in before climbing in yourself. Peter was quick to move from his side and rest his head on your stomach causing you to smile down at him. You let your fingers settle in his hair, gently running your finger through it causing him to cuddle closer to you.

You continued to stroke his hair long after he had fallen asleep, a warm feeling spreading inside of you with every happy sigh he gave in his sleep. You were determined to make sure Peter was well rested and looked after from now on, seeing just how bad things had gotten for him. The pressure you knew he would put on himself would be enough to make anyone crack but Peter had held himself so well.

It wasn’t long before you were falling asleep too, a smile on your face as Peter reached for your hand whilst murmuring incoherent words.

Begin Again

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Prompt - ‘In a cafe, I watched it begin again.’

Dating Derek Morgan was...it was completely refreshing honestly. Never had a man treated you as well as he did, never made you feel so confident, so happy. Your last relationship lasted for a while, you were in love with the man but he treated you like you were nothing, every little thing you did was criticised, he made you feel so small.

After the relationship had finally ended you were ready to just be on your own and you lasted for a while, you got yourself an apartment, got promoted, everything was going great but you still felt terrible as a result of the constant belittling from your relationship.

Bumping into Derek Morgan had been completely random . He was working a local case and you just so happened to be tasked with dealing with the FBI when they showed up at your workplace asking questions about a colleague who had not long been fired. Derek had been his charming self and once the case was finished he came and found you to ask if you’d like to grab a coffee with him sometime.

You weren’t quite sure if you were ready to start dating again or not but there was something about Derek that made you say yes. The two of you exchanged numbers before he left, shooting you a grin as he did.

The two of you had agreed to meet at a cafe not too far away from you. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited, you were dressed up nice, wearing a pair of high heels. It had been a long time since you’d worn heels, Michael hadn’t liked it when you did and it was easier to do what he said to save another argument.

After your last relationship you fully expected every guy to be like him so you were shocked when you walked in and saw Derek sat at a table waiting for you. Your ex had always been late or even stood you up without letting you know, it was humiliating, so seeing Derek there on time took you back a bit.

The second he saw you he stood up, smiling as you made your way over to him.

“Hey,” He said, his smile widening, “You look gorgeous.” He told you before he was moving to pull your seat out for you.

You paused as you watched him, never having a guy help you into your seat like this. It was such a casual move and Derek hadn’t even known how nice that was but you did.

“Thank you.” You replied, trying to hide your blush.

From there the two of you had sat and talked for hours, it was incredible how easily you were able to relax around Derek. The two of you swapped stories, admittedly Derek’s were a lot more interesting what with working with the FBI and all but when you spoke he gave you his full attention, you couldn’t help but relax as each hour passed.

Watching Derek throw his head back with laughter, you couldn’t help but remember your last relationship and you couldn’t ever remember laughing like this with him. It was strange that Derek found your stories funny when he never did.

Even though you were relaxed, you knew you were still coming off a little shy and knew Derek had to have picked up on it. He never asked though but when the date was over Derek walked you back to your car you almost told him why you had been so shy. You almost brought him up but then Derek started talking about Christmas with his family, he told you the movies they watched every year and you couldn’t help but smile at him and in that moment any thoughts of your ex left your mind.

“I had a great time tonight,” Derek told you when you stopped at your car. “Can I take you out again sometime?” He asked.

There was no hesitation this time, you knew you wanted...knew you had to see Derek again. There was something about the man, the way you were able to relax and talk so openly with him, the way you were able to laugh and joke together. There was no fear of saying the wrong thing and being shouted at, there was nothing within you telling you to get in your car and drive away from him.

In fact every instinct was telling you that Derek was special, he could be trusted.

“I’d really like that.” You told him honestly, watching as he grinned at you before leaning down to kiss your cheek softly.

“Get home safe, pretty lady.” He said as he pulled away, looking at the blush decorating your cheeks and smiling softly at you. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.” You smiled.

You hadn’t realised it then, how could you? It was a first date after all but that was the day you started falling in love with Derek Morgan. For eight long months you had thought all love ever did was break and burn and end and on a Wednesday afternoon, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.