HAHA I Dont Think This Theory Is Real But I Am Just Imagining This Right Now: The X-Men (minus Peter)

HAHA 😂 I don’t think this theory is real but I am just imagining this right now: The X-Men (minus Peter) trying to figure out who Darcy/Rachel is and they actually have a list that includes -“Alternate Fem!Peter” -“The witch that took Peter” -“Peter’s new girlfriend WHAT THAT SKANK WHERE IS SHE I WILL KILL HER Scott stop writing on the list” and Peter and Darcy/Rachel think it’s funny that literally the only thing that is not on the list is -“The alternate child of Peters sister and boyfriend”

The list is as follows:

-“Alternate Fem!Peter”

-“Alternate Fem!Scott”

-“Alternate Fem!Alex? Okay guys the alternate fem stuff is getting out of hand”

- “Alternare Fem!Erik! THAT’S ENOUGH”

-“The witch that took Peter Wait, was the witch that took Peter alternate Agatha?”

-“Alternate reality version of Wanda who has a daughter’s daughter”

-“Alternate reality Nina”

-“Weird version of Wanda?”

-“Alternate reality version of Moira”

-“Alternate reality Moira’s daughter”

-“Peter’s new girlfriend WHAT THAT SKANK WHERE IS SHE I WILL KILL HER Scott stop writing on the list”

-“Jesus fucking Christ, people. Alternate child of Jean and Jubilee with Scott as the sperm donor. WHAT? Huh. Why are we writing down our reactions?”

-“Alternate Fem!Charles”

Scott: Wait a minute . . .

Peter: What?

Scott: Are you a silver fox?!

Peter: Scott, I’m thirty five.

Scott: You’re a hot man with silver hair who’s older than me.

Peter: Holy shit, am I a silver fox?

Scott: Yeah.

Peter: WAIT, DO I ALSO COUNT AS YOUR SUGAR DADDY?!?!?

Scott: OH MY GOD!

Peter: I KNOW!!

Scott: I’M DATING A RICH OLDER MAN WITH SILVER HAIR. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Counter argument. Don’t think about Peter aging slower because of his mutation. Don’t think of Peter being physically twenty when he’s lived for sixty hard years. Don’t think of Peter watching the people he loves slowly die, because mutants either burn out too fast or live lives that are too long. Don’t think about Peter holding Scott’s hand when he’s on his death bed, miraculously having reached the age of one hundred and twenty. Don’t think of Peter screaming when he lays Scott to rest besides two of their children, Luna sobbing beside him. Don’t think of Peter outliving Luna. That he had just passed his two hundred and seventy sixth birthday, when he got the call that his two hundred and forty three year old daughter had been hit with alien technology too fast for even her healing factor to combat. Don’t think of Peter going to the top scientist of every generation, any person that could possibly kill him, and getting no results.

Don’t think of Peter and Wade sitting in a bar together, both around five hundred, mourning their families. Don’t think of Wade pulling out a photo album, just to show Peter his happy family. At least his husband had a healing factor too, Peter Parker had lived until he was around three hundred. Matrix was still alive, but Ellie had died in her late seventies. Peter pulls out his own albums with tear filled eyes. John had been his first child to die, a young man who had been used as nothing but a taunt from alternate reality villains in the end. Nathan had been next, all the time travel caught up to him and he aged much too fast, dying of old age before he was fifty. Scott had held on longer than a human could, but all the years had taken their toll and he had died in his sleep. Don’t think about Peter aging too slow and healing too fast. Don’t think of Peter outliving all that he knows and loves.

Don’t think about Peter aging faster due to his mutation. Don’t think about how Hank most likely found out when Peter got hurt by Apocalypse. Don’t think about Peter’s face when he finds out he has less than a year left. Don’t think about Peter not telling his friends. Not because he didn’t want them to know. But because he didn’t want them to act differently. Don’t think about Peter running into Erik a month after he found out. Don’t think about Peter wishing he could tell Erik. Don’t think about how Peter would hug Erik and say he wish he had a father like him. Don’t think about Peter collapsing and his friends taking him to Hank. Don’t think about how his friends would hug him and cry when they find out. Don’t think about Peter not being able to move a month before he dies. Don’t think about his mother’s tears when they tell her he died. Don’t think about how his grave would say he died when he was around 30.

Don’t think about how Erik would go to Charles and scream that the world wasn’t fair. That the world kept taking his children. Don’t think about Ororo remembering when Peter had made jokes when fighting the literal end of the world. Don’t think about Raven going to his grave at night and wishing that her friends didn’t die so young. Don’t think about how Scott would mourn the person who tried to save his brother and almost sacrificed himself to fight Apocalypse. Don’t think about Jean wishing she saw his death and warned him. Don’t think about Jubilee making jokes and expecting him to finish them. Only to be reminded when silence would take over. Don’t think about Peter’s sister looking back at graduation photos and crying because it was the last time she saw him. Don’t think about how the school saw how his death hit everybody. Don’t think about how he was taught in classes about how mutations can have a side effect. Don’t think about Peter dying early. Not because of a battle, but because of his mutation.

Wanda: Peter no. | Peter: Peter yes. | Erik: Peter no. | Peter: Peter maybe. | Scott: Peter no. | Peter: Peter no.

Scott: *leaves the room*

Peter: *quietly* Peter yes.

Jubilee: You know me. I’m always horny for crepes!

Scott: Do you mean excited?

Jean: She really doesn’t.

So... Did the guy that hit on Rachel live?

He lived because he was lucky enough that Pietro was there. If Pietro and Jean hadn’t both been there to hold Jubilee back, he would be dead.