Ororo: What Is Scott To You?

Ororo: What is Scott to you?

Pietro: He is the reason that I wake up in the morning.

Ororo: Aw, that’s nice!

Scott: *barging into their bedroom that morning* WAKE UP HONEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP! I SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE AGAIN! I WAS TRYING TO MAKE CEREAL!! WHY DO YOU STILL LET ME COOK!?!?!?!

Scott: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.

Pietro: Really? Good luck!

Scott: Oh, that came out wrong. I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.

Ororo: Wow, I didn’t know that you’re bi.

Scott: What? Just because I wear flannel I’m bi?

Ororo: That’s not what–

Scott: Just because I like making weird voices and my own sound effects when telling a story?

Alex: No one thinks–

Scott: Just because I cry while watching Queer Eye?

Ororo: We get it, you’re not–

Scott: Just because I slept with Pietro a couple of times that makes me bi!

Alex: Fine, you’ve made your–

Alex: Wait, what?!

Scott: Just because I use hair products and can’t sit in a chair properly?

Ororo: No, go back to that last part.

Scott: Guys, this is my boyfriend. Pietro, these are my friends.

Pietro: Why are they looking at me that way?

Jubilee: Scott acts as sort of a dad for the group. Emotionally, this is like being told that you’re our new mom.

Pietro: You know it is not like that at all, right?

Kurt: Absolutely, do you cook macaroni?

Rogue: Can you help me? I’m having guy trouble.

Jean: I haven’t dated a man in fifteen years.

Jubilee: I haven’t dated a man since I met Jean.

Ororo: I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction.

Irene: Ren was in their female form when I met them.

Raven: Seduce him, take his money, and kill him.

Scott: NONE OF THAT! Come on, Rogue, I’m going to help you get a boyfriend.

Raven: The school’s policy is if you see something, say something.

Kurt: Ren!

Raven: Yeah?

Kurt: Yesterday I saw a big frog!

Raven: Thank you. This is exactly what I mean.