Best Fanfiction Tournament, Round Four - Semifinals

Best Fanfiction Tournament, Round Four - Semifinals

Detective Pony (Homestuck) vs The Ninja Legacy Whip (LEGO Ninjago)

Hera:

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?! DID YOU MENTION MY S O N?!

inspired by the ‘your afternoon was already ruined’ post

Death Star Stormtroopers: “Freeze!”

Han: (panicking, trying to come up with a lie): Woah there don’t shoot, uh, you can’t shoot us because—because this guy is Darth Vader’s son! You don’t want to be responsible for shooting Darth Vader’s own flesh and bone do you?”

Luke: *glares incredulously*

Stormtroopers: “That is the dumbest thing—”

Leia: (done at this point, absolutely done with this rescue, better than Han at lying) “Exactly! Why would we tell you something so phenomenally insane if it weren’t true! Why do you think Darth Vader is so obsessed with finding Rebels, huh? Call him he’ll tell you!”

Luke: (also done, much better than Han at lying): “Or you could just shoot us; I’m sure my father, Darth Vader, inventor of the lightsaber, would be thrilled to meet the men who killed his son and his son’s friends.” *waves lightsaber arrogantly*

Stormtrooper 1: “Maybe we should call this in. I mean—he’s got a lightsaber, so that’s—that’s Vader stuff anyway.”

Stormtrooper 2: “are you kidding me right now?”

Leia: *shoots them while they’re distracted*

Han: “…We’re friends?”

//

Tarkin: “The rebels said what? You incompetent fool, how could you buy such an absurd stalling—”

Vader: “My…son…”

Tarkin:

Tarkin: Oh fuck THIS.

Okay while Hercules is awesome, I have to say n o Because NO

Narnia fans, circle up and let's pull a Ninjago and s w e e p this poll despite everything. We are small, but we are MIGHTY

So, guess who recently discovered that Greta Gerwig (She was the director for Barbie) is in charge of the Narnia adaptation.

Yeah no we're all doomed so much for having any hope.

@narnia fans watch out...

(note, this is not against Greta Gerwig and her capabilities as a director, no, it's just looking at her work and realizing that Narnia is not her style at all)

there are literally so many reasons why we don't need a third Narnia adaptation

first of all, while they might not be the most accurate, the Disney movies are actually so good and, in my opinion, still manage to capture the heart and soul of the series and what it's truly about. The characters are each perfectly portrayed; the Pevensies act like actual siblings and yet love each other dearly and would die for each other even through all the petty arguments; the music creates perfect atmosphere and emotion and never fails to make me tear up or get shivers down my spine; and the CGI is honestly just absolutely stunning.

I really do not feel like we need another adaptation by Netflix.

Especially not through Netflix.

Netflix has already been known to mess up so many shows and movies by completely changing the source material or adding in unnecessary things that completely take away from the purpose of the story. I can already see them warping Narnia into something that barely even resembles the books, that strips it of its purpose and simply makes it about a fantasy world, nothing more. I've already seen posts saying that the new movies just can't end the way the books end, that heaven must be explained away, that Susan never forgets and falls down a dark path, that the faith aspect must be taken out so as not to offend new viewers.

Here's the thing.

If you take faith out of Narnia, you remove the very heart of the series. you remove the entire purpose. Because Narnia is entirely about faith, and trust, and Someone greater than yourself who sacrifices everything to save your own traitorous soul. the Disney movies did not shy away from portraying this faith as openly as possible. if anyone was offended, I've never seen proof. I have seen many nonbelievers talk about how much they were affected by Aslan's death, which goes to show that you simply don't have to be Christian to understand what Narnia is about, and to love and enjoy it.

So if these new remakes remove the faith aspect, then what is the point? four siblings go to a magical land and save it from a witch and befriend a talking lion with nothing special about him and live there as kings and queens and return home and live happily ever after? there is no sacrifice, there is no "he's not tame, but he is good," there is no creation, there is no redemption, there is no last battle, there is no "in your world, I have another name", there is no sister straying down a dark path because she has forgotten how to hope, and then returning because her story is unfinished and the road to heaven is paved with flowers that symbolize her name.

so then, what are you left with? Aslan is just a talking lion, nothing more. the stone table never cracks, the sun never rises. "That by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there" is forgotten entirely, because why would Aslan exist in our world if he is merely a talking lion in Narnia? Aslan's country is changed to be something else, and there is nothing about how Aslan suddenly no longer looks like a lion, and how the things that happened after are more great and beautiful than can be described. Edmund's life is never threatened because of his traitorous deeds; Aslan never offers his own life in place of a guilty boy, is never killed, is never resurrected.

the very core of Narnia is removed, and what you are left with is emptiness.

sure, it might make for a good fantasy story nonetheless. you might still have sweeping views and epic music and an intriguing plotline, but something will always feel like it is missing. like there is an empty hole, desperately needing to be filled.

of course, I don't know that all of that will happen; it's just speculation at this point. But I am fairly sure that it is safe to predict these upcoming movies as such. I highly doubt the producers will want to include the faith that shapes Narnia, because according to them, having a faith aspect means less viewers since too many people would be offended.

but if only they would look at the already wonderful existing adaptations, they would know that is simply not the case.

Oh gosh y e s.

This is perfect and I shall have to write up some cryptid Batfam angsting and terrifying the JL tomorrow

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

Crying laughing shrieking with delight

Voices ring in the ears of my heart and I am lost to twin worlds not my own

My heart beats with gratitude deep and strong

Stories spun soft smooth and taut carry me away and I am thankful for the effort of the spinner

- my reaction to a well told story