The Universe Knew Id Be Too Powerful To Be My Age In 2002

The universe knew I’d be too powerful to be my age in 2002…

Updated Masterlist

* = smut

Newest Fic

Requests open

last updated: 10/18/2022

Series:

Bam Margera

Call It Fate: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Final Part

One Shots:

Ryan Dunn

More than you’ll ever know

Golf Course Shenanigans

Perfect Match

Steve-o 

About time

Chris Raab

*Road trip

Two Idiots

Picnic Date

Stuck With Me

Best Friends

Behind the scenes

Pretending

Bam Margera

Need to Change

Johnny Knoxville

Cold Feet

Dico

Cky gets jobs

Headcannons:

Mornings With Steve-o

Watching Twilight

Ryan X Reader ('It's okay I got you')

I can’t believe I got talked into this by Johnny, he had somehow convinced me to do a stunt with a spider. I am fucking petrified of spiders and yet I was told myself I could do this stunt, I would do it to overcome my fear or so I thought.

As Ryan put the tarantula on my arm I could feel myself freeze up, my breathing picks up and I can’t help but let out a high-pitched whimper. I wanted nothing more than to bat the spider off of me but I couldn’t bring myself to move, I wanted to scream, flail, get as far away from this room as fast as I can. The boys were laughing at me, I grit my teeth and try to gather my bearings. I could do this. Or that’s what I thought, I let out a sob,

“Get it off. For the love of god get it fucking off of me.” Someone carefully takes the spider off of me and brings it to Manny. I feel arms wrap around me, I don’t care who it was or if I seemed weak but I broke down. I could still feel the spider on me, its legs moving along my arms, I shiver. Ryan’s voice comes from above me,

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s off of you.” His voice is soft. Out of all of the guys Ryan always ended up being the most caring. He rubs my back, but nothing he was doing was helping me. I somehow manage to curl into a ball while Ryan’s arms are still around me. I can hear hushed whispers from above me but I pay them no mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about that fucking spider. It was going to haunt me in my dreams, I was going to have trouble going to sleep and staying asleep unless I was knocked out. I was a stuttering, whimpering mess. I wanted to scream as loud as I could and never stop.

Ryan helps me off of the floor, with his arms still around me he guides me to one of the chairs in the room. He holds me carefully in his lap, not wanting to make me uncomfortable in any way. I curl myself into Ryan’s chest, the touch of another human is slowly making me grounded again. I could feel my breath starting to slow, my sobs slowing to hiccups, and my body relaxing. I think the move from the floor to the chair really helped me get back into my head.

Ryan helped me from the room where we were filming into his hotel room, he brings me down on the bed next to him. This wasn’t the first time Dunn has done something like this and it most certainly won’t be the last time he does it. No matter how many times this happened I couldn’t help the content feeling that spread through my body when Ryan’s arms wrapped around me. A part of my heart swelled, knowing that he would always have my back no matter what.

When I wake up I am in a tangle of limbs, the warmth of Ryan’s body is a little unbearable but I don’t mind it, it is slightly comforting. I try not to move so I don’t wake Ryan, lord knows that he needed the sleep. He always had the hardest time falling asleep, staying asleep and waking up. He just wasn’t lucky when it came to sleep. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long because Johnny and Bam sneak into the room, and they don’t notice that I’m awake. They put something on me and gently shake me ‘awake’, I look down to see a spider on my side. I scream out and rip myself away from Ryan, dashing to the corner so they can’t get behind me with that damned thing. Ryan wakes up with a start he looks for me, then at Johnny and Bam, and finally at the spider on the bed.

“It’s fake, [Name],” Ryan says, he picks it up and comes toward me. I try and push myself further into the corner, I shake my head at him. He gets the message and stops, he puts down the spider and comes to squat in front of me. “Hey, hey. Look at me.” I look up at him, “I know what you’re feeling. When you are really fucking scared of something, it seems like you can’t do anything but that’s wrong.” He takes my hands and rubs the back of them. “I will always be here for you, to help you through what you are feeling. The most important thing to remember is your breathing.”

I nodded at him, I had no idea where this was coming from but I was grateful for it. He helps me off of the floor and embraces me, mumbling reassurance into my ears. I sheepishly look to Johnny and Bam,

“I’m sorry for screaming. I just really don’t like spiders.”

“Dude it’s all good.” Johnny smiles at me. I wasn’t really apologizing to them, I was more apologizing to Ryan since I woke him up but they didn’t need to know that. They leave the room while chuckling. I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into the corner I was just in and disappear, I was going to feel the spider on me forever now. I could barely look Ryan in the face as he starts to walk around the room, rummaging through things and mumbling under his breath. In a few minutes, he returns to me and lifts my chin so I’m looking at him,

“I picked out your comfy clothes and found the fuzzy blanket you like, go change and we’ll spend the day doing whatever you want,” I mumble out my thanks to him, he turns to leave but I grab his arm.

“Don’t leave, please,” I say rather sheepishly, I felt stupid that I couldn’t spend one minute alone to change. Ryan smiles at me and nods his head, he makes sure to turn towards the door, though we had all seen each other naked he wanted to give me privacy. Once I was changed I throw the fuzzy blanket over me and tap Ryan on the shoulder, he turns around to see me swaddled like a baby in a blanket. We flop back down on the bed and I told him that I didn’t want to do anything besides watching the Scream movies and order take-out which he was more than happy to agree with. As we settle into the bed I look up at him,

“I hope you know you have a bit of a soft spot,” Ryan chuckles, “But I for one and thankful for it. I don’t think I could have gotten through all of this without you. Thank you, Ryan.” He ruffles my hair and whispers ‘you’re welcome’ before resting his head on top of mine.

Call It Fate

This is a sample of something I’ve been working on. I have some more stories in the works but this one is the closest to being finished. I should be done with this in a few days!

Warnings: public embarrassment(not harmful), mentions of ex(Bam)

"Now look at what we found!" the host exclaimed, pointing at the screen behind her. On the screen were old pictures of Y/n, who began laughing in embarrassment.  "Oh my God!" She covered her red face with her hands. The host made a few harmless comments and jokes causing the audience to laugh along.

"Finally, a picture with an ex-boyfriend! Now, who is this again?" Her heart dropped and her eyes went wide for a split second.

"That's Bam" She answered simply still shocked that the picture was up on the screen in the first place.

"The rumors are that you two were pretty serious, is that true?"

"Yeah I would say so"

The host continued to pull up more pictures of the two of them. "Wow, you two looked so in love. I haven't seen you look at anyone you've recently been with like that."

She didn't really know what to say. It was completely true. Her eyes were glued to the screen as more pictures were shown.

"Would you say he was the love of your life?"

The question took her back a bit. Her eyes moved from the screen to the host. She had never been at such a loss for words, her lips were slightly parted trying to figure out what to say.

After a few more seconds Y/n snapped out of it and collected her thoughts. "Yeah, I would." She smiled thinking about the memories, good and bad.

"You two were quite popular. Will we be seeing you guys together again?"

"I don't think so" Y/n answered politely.

"Well that's a shame you two were a gorgeous couple, but onto new things! There are plenty of people out there dying to date you" She exaggerated and continued on with the interview.

sobbing because i miss bam and ryan together.

About Time

Summary: Y/n just moved next door to Johnny Knoxville and Steve-o

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing, an Injury (not graphic), Overall just cheesy

Y/n had been searching for apartments all over Los Angeles and couldn't find one that met up to her standards. Some on the outside were gorgeous but the apartment itself would be unlivable. It didn't take long before getting over apartment hunting. She needed to move out of her parent's house, not only was the commute to school too far, but it was time to get out of there.

The realtor said this was the last apartment for the day. They walked inside the apartment complex and up to the room, it was only a few stories up. He unlocked the door and went in while she followed behind him. It was the nicest apartment she's seen all day and it was in her price range. If the kitchen and living room area didn't sell her, the room and bathroom connected definitely did. The room was big enough for all of her things and the bathroom was gorgeous.

"This is all newly renovated." The realtor smiled and took her out to the small patio. "Wow, this is really nice. I like it a lot actually."

While everything was great, Y/n was scared of what was wrong with it. It's been on the market for quite some time. "So, why has it been left alone for so long? I mean it's amazing, wouldn't someone immediately pick it?"

"Well, there are no major issues. The area is nice and no plumbing or parking problems. It's just the neighbors," He sighed, "They're really loud and obnoxious."

"Oh. That's it?" She laughed. A place this nice had to have some kind of problem and noisy neighbors is an easy problem to figure out. With no reason to really say no she signed the papers.

Once all the big furniture was moved in, she only had to move her personal belongings, which weren't too hard to carry in. While she was carrying a box of dishes in she looked over to her right and saw her neighbor walk out of the apartment. They made eye contact and Y/n gave him a friendly smile, which he returned, continuing to go inside. 'He seems nice.'  From the few days it took to move everything in, she hasn't heard too many noises from her neighbor. Maybe some loud music and talking but even then the walls muffled most of it.

After the apartment was put together the way she wanted, Y/n decided it was time to have some friends over for a little housewarming party. As a common courtesy, she thought she would give the neighbors a heads up, letting them know it wasn't going to be anything other than some music and a few people over. Most of them were young and said they didn't care. They even joked about not getting an invite. The old people said to make sure the noise wasn't loud past 11 pm.

When she reached the 'loud' neighbor's door she began to get a little nervous. They definitely intimidated her. Y/n softly knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer it. The muffled laughter and voices stopped for a second. The door aggressively unlocked and a different guy stood in front of it. "Dude, we've been quiet this whole week and we aren't even being that loud." His voice was so raspy but it was kind of hot.

"Oh no, dude, you're good! I was just gonna let you guys know I'm having some friends over so it might be loud. Just a little heads up."

"Oh sweet. Mind if we swing by?" He smirked and she laughed, "Sure. It's not a party or anything, but you're more than welcome to come."

"Don't worry we'll make it a party." He winked and shut the door before she could object.

Y/n got dressed up nice for her small get-together. Wearing a short dress that fit her just right. Little by little more and more of her friends began to show up bringing cute gifts and alcohol. It was perfect beer was in the fridge hard liquor was on the counters, music was playing only the best songs to dance to.

"Yeah, neighbor!" A loud yell came from the doorway. Her eyes widened in shock. 'He actually showed up.' She walked over to the door, "Hey! You came."

"Yeah. Me n some friends." His thumb pointed to some guys behind him. "There's beer in the fridge and vodka on the counter." The guys came in and went into the kitchen for some drinks.

"Who are those guys?" One of your friends asked. It dawned on you that you never introduced yourself and neither did they. "My neighbors. I don't actually know their names we kinda just met."

"They're pretty hot" She'd never admit it out loud but she agreed.

"I never introduced myself. I'm Y/n." She smiled at the guy she saw earlier this week. "I'm Johnny Knoxville." He smiled back.

"And what's his name?" She asked pointing to his roommate who was pouring hot sauce into his eye. "That's Steve-o"

"Cool," Her face was full of amazement.

As the night went on and people drank more and more, Y/n was talking to Steve-o. "You have some cool tattoos" She commented and he laughed, "Thanks. I think they're pretty fuckin' dumb." Her fingers outlined the visible ones on his arm, "I like them." He looked over at her concentrated face and smiled.

"Do you have any tattoos?"

Y/n nodded her head and looked back at him, "Just a few small ones. I have one on my ribcage, one on my hip, and one down my spine."

"You should show me sometime." He wiggled his eyebrows making her laugh and lightly shove him. They continued to talk about other things and subtly flirt.

"Alright, Steve-o let's go back. Thanks for having us over and nice meeting you, Y/n." Johnny said putting his arm around Steve-o who waved goodbye.

"Bye guys! You're welcome over anytime."

And they took up her offer whenever they could. Banging on the door and calling her asking if she was home. Y/n never had neighbors like them before, even when she lived with her parents. The neighbors were all old or in their thirties with two kids. Johnny and Steve-o were funny and always did stupid shit.

"Y/n! Let me in Johnny's gonna put a firework up my butt!"

"Good, it's unlocked. You gotta see what Steve-o and I are about to do!"

It didn't take long for her to join in on their shenanigans. "C'mon just snort the hot sauce. I'll do it with you." Steve-o grinned

All three of them were pretty close, but it was obvious that Steve-o and Y/n had a closer bond. Johnny wasn't mad or anything, he was actually pretty happy someone could handle being friends with the chaotic guy.

Johnny and Steve-o started filming for Jackass, so all the guys were in town. Steve-o thought it'd be cool if Y/n came and watched them all do their stunts. After the stressful semester she had, it wasn't a bad idea.

~

"This is Y/n. She's our neighbor." Steve-o introduced her to the guys who smiled and waved at her. She smiled and waved back "Hey guys"

They all made small talk and asked what she does, where she goes to school, why she's friends with Johnny and Steve-o. Chris' flirty personality was funny to Y/n, she didn't take him seriously and even subtly flirted back.

She didn't realize how stressful it was for the guys to be on set. Even she began to worry if she was safe or not. The pranks and jokes made everything more chaotic than it already was. When Bam was in the snake pit, her mind eased. It made her realize she wasn't scared of too many things, mostly just disliked them.

"So Y/n, are you scared of snakes?" Chris held a big snake and pointed it at her. She shook her head observing the snake, "Can I hold it?" His smile was wide and he got excited explaining how to hold it.

"C'mon Bam." Johnny shook his head laughing.

The entire time she was on set everyone tried to figure out what she was scared of or what would make her freak out. They didn't want to hurt her but they definitely wanted to include her in on the fun. With nothing to work with it made it nearly impossible. 

Chris started to improvise. He managed to get a box of fake spiders and he waited for the perfect time to dump them on you. Johnny loved this idea and even said he’d make it happen. 

“Wanna be in the movie?” Johnny smirked and Y/n shook her head, “No way. I’m not doing some crazy stunt.” 

“Oh no, we wouldn’t make you do that. Just a small thing. Now close your eyes and stand right here.” He instructed her. She stood in the spot and waited for what to do next. Behind her Chris grabbed a small ladder and climbed to the top. When he was ready Johnny handed him the box. “I need you to stay perfectly still.” She sighed and said okay. Chris dumped the box of spiders on her and Y/n shrieked but stayed still. “Tell me they aren't real!”

“Get em off! Get em off!” Johnny and Chris laughed pretty hard and eventually told her they weren’t real and helped her get them out of her hair. “Assholes”

"Alright, Steve-o. You're up." Jeff called him over to stand in front of the camera. The alligator snapping turtle bit had Steve-o nervous. He introduced the scene and prepared to get bit. It was going as well as it could've gone until the turtle didn't let go.

After a few more moments of agonizing pain, it finally let go and Steve-o left to get it treated. Y/n followed him.

"That was pretty bad" She winced when she got a closer look at it. "Yeah, it didn't feel the greatest." The nurse cleaned it up and left the two of them alone. They sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds.

"Are you having fun on set though?" He asked and she smiled big, "Yeah! It's really cool seeing how everything goes down and meeting the others."

"You could come every day if you wanted to."

"Oh, I don't think the others-"

He interrupted whatever she was going to say by placing his lips softly onto hers and pulled away after a few seconds. "I want you here." Y/n placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and pulled him into another kiss.

"Well, it's about time, lovebirds" Johnny laughed, "Now hurry up. I'm gonna get Tremaine really good."