Sh/tw

sh/tw

can someone get me a knew blade? i used to use this one all the time and went back to it bc my others were sharper, and now their all dull so i have to use this for the time being

i cut because the sting of the blade slicing through my soft flesh is better than the sting of abandonment, it feels like the razor blades in my pocket have been there for me longer than anything/anyone else.

i cut because watching the blood seep through a wound and run down my supple skin evokes euphoria like none other, and the release of the tears i cannot cry, the release i so desperately need other than that of demise.

i cut because i cant risk being seen as a bad person, because i cant stand being scolded for something i couldnt help, such as lashing out and bringing a person to whatever lay between life and death all because i couldnt control my anger, my words or fists.

i cut because i can imagine its someone elses skin, i dont do it for the pain nor for the relief of being seen as mentally ill for it - no - i do it for the pure elation i receive from watching it trickle its bitter crimson tears, and to prevent myself from fulfilling my sadistic, violent fantasies.

and you know i deserve happiness, you know i deserve to bleed.

please just dont leave me

typing “me n who?” knowing that i am difficult and unlovable

sh/tw

new blade

im so cute, please groom me so i can feel loved

who can say no to that? :3