What Is Fate?

What is Fate?

When we hear of 8th house in astrology, we often hear of "fate", but the question comes what is fate? What exactly is fate? Here trying to think about it:

Fate is something that the native did not intend to happen but it happens anyway = this is why it is called inevitable. Intention leads to thought which leads to action (even if you are not self aware, this is how we work).

Native was preoccupied with some other goal but something else happens that changes the track of life. This is why it feels predetermined.

Any event that drastically changes the life path or/and character of the native. Like a toxic relationship that changes you forever

Free will feels like = I intended it to happen so it happened. But fate feels like = I did not intend this but we are dealing anyway.

Like I was intending X to happen but instead Y happened.

Extremes of good luck (fortune) and/or bad luck (doom) is definitely fate. For eg, suddenly losing loved one/a job. Suddenly gaining a lot of inheritance/a lot of money in lottery/marrying to a rich spouse.

Fate is things which are beyond human control = A deadly cancer tha does not cure. Marrying into royal family. Being born in a rich parents house.

As for the question whether destiny applies to everyone or some people have free will, I don't know really. Some people do seem to have their life under control so their perception is that they have free will. Some people do seem to have bouts of twists and turns so their perception is that life is fated. Not everyone faces extreme events or feelings (8th house placements) so they cannot empathize with others. While some like 8th housers or mature scorpio people feel their feelings too intensely so they can empathize with the dark themes in life. In these subjective perceptions, the objective truth gets lost. Or like Nietzsche said "there are no facts, only interpretations".

As for question if life is predetermined or random or future is not certain yet or future is already happening, again questions are too many. We can hypothesize, believe, hope, experience, debate but the answer is as uncertain as "what happens after death?" "why I was born?" "what makes me, me?" Some intuitive and psychic abilities people tell that we are born to pay off our karmic debts and settle past life accounts. Some say that we keep taking birth in similar family like your brother was your father in past life, your mother was wife etc. Some say that life is complicated than that, the stranger is the bus was your mother in past life, the past life husband is someone you do not even know in this life etc. Some say that we choose our own parents, hardships, life plan, life events before birth. Some try to explain with science that everything that happens in nature is in chain reaction caused by previous triggers. Some explain with psychology that feelings, thoughts, beliefs cause our actions. Some explain with philosophy that determinism is the causal link between action and the outcome of events.

As for question, should 8th housers be depressed and sad because of fated events? No. You could choose to stay depressed and victimized but it is not very good for mental health. It is the law of nature to construct after destruction. It sounds rude to say this to someone who is clearly going through a tough time but look deep within yourself and you will see that little feeling of "influence". This is I think why 8th house is also concerned with psychology. When you study psychology and self introspection yourself, you realize that even in the face of the most painful misfortune, there is some influence that we have. Yes my dear, you read it right. It sounds pretentious to say this because depression is really tough to handle. When you are going through a tough time, things don't make sense, mind stops working, no ideas make sense. If you stick it out and come alive on the other side, you would feel something within you. That inner strength. That inner power. That peace. That ability to handle the next misfortune. That numbness of emotions. Ability to rationalize intense feelings. This little thing is perhaps what we call the essence of life.

Hi there.

In that one post you talked about 8th houser girls and that they should beware of older men and so.

Can you define older?

Like whats the line?

Thanks and have a great day😇

Hi. Honestly, there is no one parameter

My mom is 8th houser who married 9 year her senior. My dad is 8th houser who married 9 year his junior. I cannot comment on their married life because I have no business in that.

I am 8th houser and was involved with a 10 year senior who was my biggest mistake. I also have Saturn in 5th, so that might have something to do with it.

What I meant to say was that young 8th houser people have an intense emotional life. Since it is a water house, there is a sort of introverted, feeler type, tolerant energy in them. They tolerate a lot rather than asserting boundaries. Since their life path is also full of ups and downs, they are confused juggling between their emotions and life problems. "Whether I deal with my negative emotions or deal with this sudden career problem or do both?"

In situations like these, we naturally seek support system, someone to hold our hand. Young girls in general and 8th houser in particular have little life experience, almost always daddy issues, low standards in people especially men because they did not have ideal Male role models, do not know their self worth because they were always doing emotional work for others and are gullible because their irrational mind clouds their rational mind.

For eg, "why will this dude say he loves me when we met 1 week back?" A rational girl will say: bullshit, he is manipulating me, no time for players heh. Whereas an irrational 8th houser girl will say: oh my prince charming, my hero, yes I trust you, so this is love uhuhuhu.... love me like you do lalala.

Of course, if the other planets support therapy, other life experiences and maturity, she will not fall into such situations. Boys your age dont have as much experience in manipulation but the older men know just the right thing to say. This is just a warning not a rule. I have read that as a rule you should not date someone older than 5 years when you are young. As you get older, you can raise the age bar only if you trust what you are doing. Even then, life happens. 8th house is unpredictable events. Life is unpredictable anyway :)

Some predatory signs to look out for:

predators know what they are doing. no ignorant predator

They look out for naive weak unalarmed inexperienced

Target has flesh, money, influence, sex, beauty whatever they want

Test boundaries. How far they can go

Very smart with what they do.

No inner conscience and spiritual life

Mirror what the target wants and likes

Pretend to be friend and mentor or caretaker or well wisher

Will not let you go at any cost. you are their supply. Only death can break you apart

Spout wisdom, stories, myth to keep you hooked to them. Use the power of words to control the target.

Ego centric. Fire signs when immature can be like this. Self proclaimed god like status

Target people who are unenlightened, dont know what they are doing, easily misled, freshers, juniors

The target's pain is a joke to them. they actually enjoy when the target figures them out. they smirk and smile. you got me lol. they ignore you and find a new target. they love to play with the mind of their target

somehow they also get lucky with material life. They get success money wealth connections and quality of life despite being monsters.

They even call themselves heroes. like i said self peoclaimed god. Next generations think they were actually that great as they make out to be

Tone deaf, stubborn, unmoved and egocentric.

They are not only in material communities but also in spiritual and religious communities. Baba, gurus doing group orgies and calling it enlightenment. This is serious issue to think about.

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......

Is it just my observation or not everyone is destined for a fulfilling romantic life?

As much as we are conditioned by media, literature, songs, our own anima/animus to desire being in romantic relationships, unfortunately I have observed that not everyone is meant for one. It is truly luck that some people meet willing partners who are interested in romantic relationship, working things out, making it work, loving and supporting each other. While some people meet partners who are emotionally unavailable, manipulative, liars, unwilling to work relationship, taking partner for granted.

Mercury is indeed an indicator of a friend like, youthful energy, optimism for life, conversationalist partner. This is the partner who wants to be adventurous, go travel the world, watch latest movies, go outdoors eating.

Venus is indeed an indicator of significantly beautiful, sensual, pleasant to have in life, charming partner. This is the partner who likes to purchase new clothing, food, wine, dine, meeting pleasures of senses. Music, food, comfort, beauty, sex.

Saturn is indeed an indicator of serious, hard working, not fun attitude towards life and kinda pessimistic. This is the partner who has seen fated ups and downs in life, believes in long term planning, avoids short term gratification and does not have fun with his money. Life is a responsibility for him.

Ketu is indeed an indicator of a detached, disconnected, peculiar, unique, wandering, lost in thoughts, spiritual, not interested in material life partner. This is the partner who will fulfill superficial social expectations of relationship but remain emotionally distanced, disengaged, less talkative, not romantic.

Rahu is indeed an indicator of a social climber, high status, clout chasing, power chasing, fame chasing partner. This partner creates a persona or image or illusion of a perfect relationship for the world to see. It does not matter to him if the actual relationship is hollow so long as the social image is that of a picture perfect marriage.

Sun is indeed an indicator of authoritarian, fatherly, dominating, controlling, egoistic, daddy type partner. This is the partner who likes to take decisions in relationship, be the sun of the relationship, adds life to relationship and is actively involved in the relationship.

Mars is indeed an indicator of a hyper, short tempered, energetic, controlling partner. This is the partner who hates monotonous, chill life. This partner wants sports, physical activity, passion, aggression, heat in the relationship.

Jupiter is indeed an indicator of a wisdom seeking, teacher like, studious, not romantic, dharmic marriage, dutiful partner who considers relationship to be a duty that he has to perform dutifully.

Moon is indeed an indicator of an emotionally attuned, emotionally invested, sensitive, feelings driven partner. Doesn't mean that this partner is super romantic but has the potential because of feelings driven personality. This is the partner who will poetry, do acts of service, is emotionally available to partner.

See how different planets, their signs, their placements, conjunctions, aspects will bring different partner in your life? If you expect to find a romantic, sexy, passionate partner but your relationship houses are occupied/aspected by Saturn or Ketu or Jupiter or their signs that is Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, then you are bound for disappointment. You have to mold your expectations to meet your destiny. If your 7th house is occupied by Ketu or aspected by Ketu, you have to expect and accept that your emotional and romantic needs will be unfulfilled - conversely you have to channel this desire into spirituality and self work. Ketu rules scorpio sign and 8th house. But Ketu is not a planet, though it can change the chemistry of your relationship.

So this is how, not everyone is meant for picture perfect romantic relationship. What we see in movies or songs is simply a work of art. I used to get very frustrated thinking why my life was not like the movies, until I realized that my birth chart, my expectations and my reality are very different from what I consume in media or literature or stories.

I hope it makes to someone. I hope I am not the only person who set her romantic expectations based on what I saw in media.

What exactly does the 8th house venus look like?

By now, we are very aware of what venus in 8th house means and that it brings a lot of transformations in the lives of the natives. I will share my personal breakdown of how exactly i transformed with this placement and hope it connects with someone:

Firstly, venus in 8th house makes emotional life intense. I mean INTENSE. Crazy INTENSE. Obsessive. Dedication. Emotional overflow. And secretive. Secretive love life. Falling in "love" overnight, at first sight. Impulsive.

Venus is the significator of romance and love life. It is placed in the house of death and rebirth. What do you expect? Each relationship brings death - rebirth of the native.

It starts with the intense emotional life of the native. Comes a destined romantic interest. Native falls in infatuation. Intense obsession begins. Ohh-she is drowning in her own psychic ocean and it is red. Colour red. The colour of love and sacrifice. Of soul itself.

Rumination. Opening up about personal traumas. Sharing secrets with each other. Venus in 8th house lady gives her heart and soul to the man. She is not for the weak hearted. She is not for the casual affairs. She is the one to shake your soul, existence and make you question reality itself. Her love is passionate and dreamy. She is hard to forget because she dumps her emotions, soul and energy into you.

She is obsessed with the mental image of the love interest. Not the real man but his mental image. This is the twist. She thinks that the romantic interest is everything she has ever wanted. She thinks he is perfect. But really, she is just so emotional that logic is out of the window.

Romantic interest has psychic manipulative tendencies. It is almost certain that the lover is manipulative and controlling. Sometime in the relationship, the illusion breaks. As per the hallmark of 8th house = sudden, SHOCKING revelation! This man is not who she thought he was. 8th house is the house of taboo as well; the man turns out to be someone with a dirty character. Run, run, run.

The break up is sudden. Intense emotional breakdown. Crying herself to sleep. There starts a depression. Deep depression for god knows how long. Her trust is broken. Trust means everything to her. Trauma bond. The mental image shatters.

With depression comes mental breakdown. Ruminating about the whole relationship. What, how, why, where, when? Obsessively asking questions. This depression lasts for months and wipes away the memory.

Native is pulled into astrology, tarot and psychology to fix herself. She knows deep down that something is broken in her. She wants to fix what is broken. It is her destiny. After all, 8th house is also about healing the trauma.

Romantic obsession turns into spiritual pursuit. Depression wipes out the memories of the past self. "i dont remember who i was before" phase. Depending upon the rest of the chart, she starts building herself from ground up. A new person. A new self. New looks. New career. New way of life. New friends.

Long period of isolation - she loses touch with the external world. She sheds her skin in isolation - how can you born anew if you are not reduced to ashes first? She learns everything from rock bottom. Emotional control. Social skills. Relationship skills. Spirituality. Occult skills, definite interest in psychology, when she learns new information, skills, knowledge = she automatically rewires her system. These natives glow up. Generic prediction is = she becomes sophisticated. Dresed up fancy lady with shiny pearl necklace, femme fatale aesthetic, red lips and very ladylike.

Somedays she recalls her old self. The messed up, intense, manic pixie dream girl, broken she was. Now transformed into a new person. So, this is what 8th house transformation looks like. It is not just "magic"; it is actual hard work.